Garte's POV

Looking around to make sure no one is here is nerve-racking. People are always around. I swallow and bite my lip, which is something I have been doing a lot more the past week. Very slowly walking over to the knife drawer, I slide it open and pick up the largest knife I can find. The shiny silver blade is about six inches long. I've never seen a blade that big, it's probably used to cut the toughest of meats.

I trace my finger against the flat side of the knife, trying not to cut myself where everyone can see. I'd get too much attention and wouldn't have the opportunity to stab myself. I would get admitted into some sort of psych lab and put on medication, making me a robot under pills that control me.

I burned pictures. I burned letters. I forgot those memories and now I'm ready to forget everything I am. I slide the knife into the side of my pants and make sure the blade isn't poking out at all. Looking around to, once again, make sure no one saw me, I open the kitchen door and leave.

Maids and butlers rush around, but stop for a few seconds when they see me. Most of them will just turn around again and keep working, but a few stare for longer. As I keep walking, I feel a soft tap on my shoulder. I jump around, mind alert for anything. But all I see is Leo and his kind dark brown eyes.

"S-Sorry, sir." He stutters, looking down.

"It's okay, Leo." I say while taking a step back.

Leo nods and looks back up at me. "Are you alright? You look... tired, sick almost."

I shake my head and turn in the direction of the bedroom. I begin to walk over when I feel a light grab on my shoulder. I close my eyes, sigh and turn around.

"Sir.." His eyes are wide with concern. "Have you been eating anything at all?"

"That's none of your concern, Leo. You should get back to work. The village has a lot of people to attend to." I say, probably sounding suspicious. I don't care, he doesn't need to be concerned about me.

"Sir, you are-"

"Never mind me. I just have one quick question for you." I ask him in almost a whisper.

"Anything, sir." He says with an alert tone.

"Are the boys still here?" I ask. At this point I now whisper, looking around and making sure nobody can see or hear us.

"Garroth and Zane..? They're on the other side of the palace. Garroth is getting tutored and I don't really know what Zane is doing." He says in great detail.

I nod and turn around, walking fast enough towards the bedroom so that he can't talk to me any longer. I approach the pale white door and turn the golden knob, stepping inside and closing the door. I shut it tight and turn the notch so I hear the soft click. Then, I sit down on the patterned white bedspread and take the knife out of my pocket.

I think for a second, but then I realize that this is for my boys and the village. I don't want my sons living with a depressed father and I don't need the village living in terror of a corrupt lord.

But this isn't for Zianna. She broke my heart and doesn't give a shit about me.

I let a tear slip down my face. I walk into the bathroom and lift up my left arm. The knife in my hand shakes violently as I press it against my skin. I look up in the mirror at my pale face with dark circles forming under my eyes. I take a deep breath and slide the knife vertically down my arm.

Bright red blood almost immediately spills out. It drips into the marble sink. I smile through tears. It doesn't hurt. It feels great to finally know that something I deserve is coming my way. I bite my lip and take the knife away, dropping my arm and letting the blood drip down my hand and onto the floor.

I walk over to the bed, standing next to the bed frame. My stomach slightly hurts, I never especially liked the sight of blood. But, I decide I'll deal with it. I walk over to the side of the bed and press the edge of the knife right under my ribs. At first the angle of the knife would go straight into my abdomen. I decide to tilt the blade up a bit so it would enter at an angle.

But before I decide to do this I want to do something I never do.

Taking a deep breath, I recite some sort of prayer in my head, one that I learned at such an early age I'm surprised I remember it.

Once I'm done, I say the 'Amen' out loud, but just like a mumble.

"So help me, God." I barely breathe out.

I don't hesitate. I push the knife quickly into my chest. The sharpest and most painful feeling I've ever felt circulates through my upper body. I rip the knife out and look at the blade which was covered in blood. I drop the knife and watch the blood slowly ooze out of my chest. It's difficult to breathe.

Okay, only a few more minutes. Only a few more minutes until this nightmare is over.

I drop to my knees, holding onto the bed frame and watch blood spill onto the floor and stain the beige carpet. I breathe heavy, trying not to make too much sound. I feel something drip out of my mouth. Wiping my hand across my face, I look to see red on my fingers. I bite my bloody lip and begin to cough.

I cough so harshly that blood spills out of my throat so quickly that I almost feel lightheaded. It gushes out onto the bedspread as I turn. It feels like throwing up, except the metallic taste fills my mouth instead of any acidic taste. I cough once again, feeling like I could die any second. I hear a soft knock at the door.

"G..? You okay?" Zianna's voice says in a very serious tone.

"Y-Yeah.." I nod to myself and look at the door.

"Can I come in?" She asks calmly and very cautiously.

"No, not right now." I say sternly. I cough again, more blood that should comes out of my mouth.

"Garte, open this door. Now." She says so sternly I'm almost scared myself.

"No. I'm fine." I insist.

Then, I see the door break down. Leo stands there, frozen and eyes wide. Zianna has tears in her eyes and she covers her mouth. I slowly stand up, every slight move as painful as ever. My hand inches towards the knife and I gently place the point lower on my abdomen. I press my hand against the wall.

"D-Don't take a step closer..." I say. Leo clearly doesn't know what to do. Zianna has tears running down her face like rain.

"Lord Ro'Meave-" Leo says as he takes a step over.

"Don't." I say, backing up which reminds him of the fact that I have a knife in my hand.

He puts his hands up in defense but doesn't back up. I look at him and glance over at Zianna. Anger boils in my veins. I try to take a deep breath but I decide to scream at her.

"This is all your fault!" I look at her, motioning my hand at her.

"You ruined our lives! Especially the lives of our sons!" I scream at her. She shakes her head, her bottom lip quivers.

"I-I... I'm so sorry! Don't do this, Garte! Please!" She begs.

"You... Brought this upon... Yourself." I choke out, feeling light-headed.

I see both Leo and Zianna looking at me with such concern in their eyes I don't think my mother ever looked at me that way. The blurred vision I have goes black. I can feel myself falling to my knees, dropping the knife on the floor. And then, I finally collapse.

And it hurts.

It hurts so bad.

But I got what I wanted.

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Hey hey hey

I wrote this chapter like six months ago so if it's crap I'm so sorry.

Thanks for reading! Bye!
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