author note: first off my fingers are cold af as im typing this, pls send sun :(
Second!!! This is the song i was listening to while writing this. Its not really related any, i just like it a lot ;)

Third: hahahhajaahahhsfkdk bitches yall thought he was moving >:) would i really let them go through that kind of suffering? Of course not!!!

---

Luke Patterson has never really had a close relationship with his parents. His father's hardly been around since his childhood, his mother's been working her ass off to support them, and it's all left Luke to grow up like the wild bitch he is. He's not used to having someone tell him what to do, or having someone be there for him when he needs support.

He grew up used to being on his own, used to minding his own business and the comfortable silence that comes with it.

That's why, initially, he hadn't liked Jonathan at all. Too loud, too friendly, too curious for Luke to handle. They met in the seventh grade, when Luke had been sent to detention for skipping class one too many times. Jonathan had also been there, and had taken to Luke the way a child takes to a teddy bear- he latched on and never let go, no matter how much Luke tried to get rid of him.

Though Jonathan is relatively different than Luke, they fit together rather well. They're both stubborn and determined, and a little rough. The two stuck together like glue for the next few years, until Bryce moved into town.

Upon first meeting Bryce, Luke's first thoughts were "God, we are never going to get along." Whereas Jon and Luke were a couple of stubborn, brash little teenage boys...

Bryce was (and, to an extent, still is) the total opposite of Luke. Too quiet, too meek, too soft and too happy. Jonathan was head over heels for this tiny, timid pretty boy, and Luke had given in to his friend's pleas to go bring him over.

Of course, as the year went on, Bryce began to come out of his shell. He opened up, grew a little bit braver and a whole lot taller (seriously, when will he stop growing?). The three of them became comfortable as their own little trio of friends. Everything felt normal again.

And yet, just this year, when Luke thinks he's seen it all, Ryan walks into his life with a smile (and a bloody nose) and suddenly Luke's heart is swept away faster than he can even process.

Ryan is adorable. He's sweet, giggly, full of innuendos, and has the prettiest eyes Luke's ever seen. He's never too loud or too quiet, though Luke probably wouldn't care if he was. His voice is so damn sexy Luke could listen to him screaming all day long and still be left swooning.

His smile is one of the cutest things Luke has ever seen. Luke has no shame in admitting that he will gladly do anything to keep that smile on Ryan's face. But...

What happens when the one thing Ryan needs is the one thing Luke can't do?

"But?" Ryan looked up at his mother curiously. He had a tiny smile on his face, as if nothing could bring his mood down.

Ryan's mother had frowned, staring ahead silently. She then takes Ryan's hand into hers, squeezing it tightly and smiling wistfully. "Ryan... Your father died yesterday. That... that's why I'm here."

The room is suddenly still, the silence nearly suffocating Luke as a chill runs through him. The pained expression on Ryan's face only makes it worse. Ryan stared up at his mother in disbelief as tears threatened to spill from pretty hazel eyes. "W- what? I just saw him Friday... how- how is..."

His mother shrugged, her eyes watery as well. "They told me he was involved in a car crash. Somebody rammed into him on his way home from work... both flew off the highway and the car exploded," she had whispered, a sorrowful look on her face. "The only reason they figured out who he was is because one of his co-workers was driving by."

Ryan was silent. Luke was also silent, though for an entirely different reason. This isn't his business, is it? It wasn't his father who died, so why is he here?

He took one look at Ryan, heartbroken and crying into his mother's shoulder, and came to a painful realization.

He doesn't know what to do. It frustrates him. Luke isn't used to feeling helpless, and yet here he is, standing outside his boyfriend's bedroom and listening to him cry.

Ryan's mother is off somewhere, trying to get some work done. Funeral stuff, apparently. Luke's never had a relative (or anyone, in general) die before. He doesn't know much about dealing with loss.

But he wants to help Ryan, so...

"Ry? Baby, you in there?" Even though he already knows Ryan is in there, he wants Ryan to know he's out here. So he makes sure his voice is low and soft as he knocks, waiting for a response.

Bryce and Jonathan are also here with him. Jonathan is here to carry the bags of junk food they (Bryce) bought, and Bryce is here because he's the only one out of them with money. He paid for the food, and as a punishment for refusing to carry the bags Luke gets to prepare all of it at Jonathan's house.

Of course, this is all assuming they can get Ryan out of his bedroom.

There's a faint whine from the other side, just barely loud enough for Luke to hear. He frowns. That's not good, how does he fix this?

Bryce shuffles forwards, quietly picking up Buddy off the ground and cradling the dog. He then walks off to the living room, cooing to the little dog.

Jonathan frowns. He glances after Bryce, then back at Ryan's door. "He's worried," Jon says. "He only touches dogs when he's worried."

"How do you..." Luke raises an eyebrow, about to question how the fuck Jon can tell such a thing, but then he hears sneezing from the living room and it all makes sense. He shakes his head, and tells Jon to go find some allergy medicine for Bryce.

It's not like Ryan would speak to them, anyways.

Luke sighs. He looks at the door in front of him, then knocks again. "Ry? Baby, come on. It's... it's gonna be okay!"

Wow. Good job, Luke. So good at comforting people.

Bryce even pops out from around the corner to give Luke a nasty look. He must've heard Luke's shitty way of comforting people. He doesn't blame him for looking angry.

Luke listens closely for signs of life inside Ryan's room. He hears nothing, though, and it frustrates him. Starting to lose his patience, Luke bangs on the door.

No response.

He decides to do the next best thing and announce to Ryan that he's coming in, whether Ryan wants him to or not. Luke then, with minimal hesitation (and shame), gets down on a knee to pick the lock. He was initally going to break it down, but that's a little extreme.

The door clicks softly as the lock is undone, and then Luke is facing his boyfriend who is lying on his bed staring at his wall.

“Baby? You doing alright?” Luke walks in slowly, coming to sit at Ryan's side. He gently reaches out to stroke messy, slightly greasy brown hair with a smile.

Ryan looks up at him. He looks weary and exhausted, as if he hasn't slept at all during the past few days. It's only been a couple days since… you know, and Luke,can't blame the guy for being tired.

The issue here isn't that Ryan's grieving. It's that Ryan probably hasn't been out of his room once in the past few days. That means his boyfriend hasn't been eating as much as normal people, or socializing or anything normal people do. And that's not good at all.

“Go away,” Ryan whines, rolling over to bury his face in his pillow. “You're not supposed to see me if I look like shit.”

Luke rolls his eyes, choosing to lay next to Ryan and wrap his arms around Ryan tightly. “You could look worse. I think you look just fine, baby.”

“Stop calling me baby. I'm not a baby.” Ryan gives him a small glare, but says nothing else. He then turns his back to Luke, probably glaring at the window.

He feels himself frowning against Ryan's back. He doesn't like seeing his lil' bunny so sad like this. And he has no idea how to help! The plan he came in here with suddenly feels so, so stupid that he wishes he had actually thought it out before walking in here.

"Well... I came in here to check on you," Luke says softly, pressing a kiss to the back of Ryan's neck. "You haven't been at school, or answering my texts... I just worry about my bunny being in here, you know? All alone, with nobody to save you from your own though-"

"The funeral's next Tuesday," Ryan mumbles. "And... and I worry that my mom's gonna make me move in with her, so far away..."

Luke shakes his head the best he can while laying down. "Nah. You said she's some fancy lawyer, right? Always off in the courts?"

Ryan nods.

"Then why would she make you move across the country to basically live in a house all alone?" Luke grins proudly, even if Ryan can't see it. "Trust me. I've already talked her out of it."

There's no real response. Just the slight relaxation of Ryan's body, and less resistance when Luke snuggles him closer.

"Listen to me, Ryan, okay? I want you to get up. Take a goddamn shower, then eat something. I don't give a shit if it's just twenty plain tortillas, a'ight? I jus' wanna make sure my baby is living by tomorrow morning."

No response. Luke groans. He didn't want to resort to brute force like this, but...

He stands up, easily scooping up Ryan. Ryan gives a loud, undignified screech as he kicks and claws at Luke's body. Ryan is, despite his best efforts, effortlessly thrown over Luke's shoulder and carried off to the bathroom down the hall.

"Bryce! Jon! Get me clean clothes and towels!" Luke calls out to the others for assistance. He gently drops Ryan onto the floor, making sure to shut the door before his little... "rodent" can escape the inevitable cleaning that is to come.

"Now," Luke says, crossing his arms. "Either I strip you down and throw you into the coldest shower you've ever seen, or you get in there willingly. What's it gonna be, baby?"

---

It's half past midnight, some six or seven hours after what will now be dubbed as the "Shower Incident" at Ryan's house.

Luke glances down at the bandages around his arm. Well, serves him right for thinking he could just scrub Ryan down like that.

Who knew Ryan could get so violent with a bottle of shampoo?

Ryan is sitting inbetween Jon and Luke, wrapped up tightly in a couple blankets. Bryce is sitting on Jonathan's lap, and Luke is rather content just watching the three of them rather than the movie.

Bryce is getting all cuddly on Jonathan who, oddly enough... does not seem to be having any of it. That's new, because Jonathan is easily the biggest cuddler Luke has ever seen. And this says a lot coming from the guy who's dating Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan...

He seems better now, Luke decides. He looks over at Ryan curiously. There are no more tears, but a sort of tired peace that's come over him. Maybe he's too tired to be sad anymore, or maybe he's just tired of being sad.

They're at Jonathan's house now. Bryce had insisted on watching all the princess movies from Disney, so now they're sitting through The Little Mermaid like it's a normal thing.

He continues to watch Ryan, who's attention is focused on Bryce belting out whatever song is playing right now. Ryan takes a handful of popcorn and begins to eat it, little by little. Luke has no shame in reaching over and snatching a piece from Ryan's hand instead of the bowl, winking at him when Ryan gives him a judgemental stare.

There's a smile from Ryan. It isn't the happiest of smiles, but it's an improvement. Luke pulls Ryan close and kisses his forehead. "I'm sorry for dragging you out," he mumbles. "But... you can't just lock yourself away. That's not healthy, Ry."

Ryan doesn't really respond. He just nods. "But... what if I wanna be sad?"

"I'm not sayin' you can't be sad, honey. Be sad all you want. Shout it from the fucking rooftops for all I care. But you can't just stop functioning because you're sad, you know?" Luke doesn't know if he's making any sense.

Ryan is leaning his head against Luke's chest, gazing blankly at the couch. He nods. "I guess..."

"Do you wanna go sleep?" Luke begins to run his hand through Ryan's hair gently.

"No... I'm fine."

"Alright," Luke hums, barely hearing himself over Bryce and Jonathan singing. "You want to go hide in the guest room?"

He doesn't even know why he asks. Of course he does. Luke lifts him up, blankets and all, and carries him off. Jonathan and Bryce can do their thing by themselves. They'll be fine. Ryan's going to be fine, too.

Everything will end up perfectly okay at the end of the day. Luke will make sure of it.