comin in at yall at 2:34 am with some #tea

also a chapter

it was gonna be longer but tbh im tired of writing/editing/re-reading this shit ill regret publishing this tomorrow dw

---------

His shirt feels too itchy.

That doesn't make any sense, though. Ryan has had this shirt for years, why is this just now becoming a problem? Not to mention that he feels hot and irritable in this cramped little truck, and though Luke's hoodie is warm and smells nice, it doesn't help the hot part of his current situation.

He squirms in his seat. Luke glances at him for a second, and Buddy snorts as he shifts back into a comfy position in Ryan's lap.

Ryan feels his hand twitch. He feels fidgety. He wants to scribble on some paper or tap on the dashboard or do something. He wants to move, but he can't because he's stuck in this stupid truck and he feels anxious and stressed because of his own stupidity and his mother's reaction to Luke and...

A cold blast of air hits him in the face. Well, not horribly cold, but colder than the air inside the truck. Ryan makes a face and rubs at his eyes, then stares at the window besides him. It's open. He can feel the wind rushing inside as the two drive somewhere throughout the city.

"Are you hot in that? You can take it off, baby. Nobody's forcing you to keep it on," Luke says softly. He reaches over and ruffles Ryan's hair. "You feel alright? We can pull over and stretch your legs if you'd like."

He thinks. Ryan wants to move but he also wants to stay here in the car, where he is safe and by Luke's side.

Ryan decides to stay.  "I... I'm okay. I'm just uneasy, I guess. I dunno."

"A'ight baby. We're almost there." Luke returns his focus to the road in front of him.

"What? Where are we going?" Ryan looks around, trying to discern where he is. All he can see are unfamiliar shops and buildings. Maybe he just passed a McDonald's? Or was that a Starbucks?

"Home. We're just taking, I don't know, the long way home." Luke shrugs, then turns to Ryan and gives a small smile. "I kinda took a wrong turn going back from Bryce's. So I just followed the highway."

Ryan frowns. "Do you know where we are?"

"Somewhere in the next town over, that's all. It's only been about forty minutes. We can't get that far. But we do have to stop for gas. You want anything?"

It takes him a moment to realize the world outside the car has stopped moving (or rather, that the truck itself has stopped) and that they're now parked at a gas station. The sign on the front says they're open 24/7, and that they're hiring.

"Uh... yeah. Do you think they'll let me take Buddy inside, or..?" Ryan rubs Buddy's back gently, trying to rouse him as quietly as possible. "Maybe he'll be okay in here?"

Luke gives Buddy a little pat on his head. "He should be."

Ryan will not deny that he feels guilty for waking Buddy up by getting out of the truck. He also feels bad for leaving him in the truck all alone. And even though it's spring, the nights can be chilly, and Buddy is small and has little body heat. But if he brings Buddy into the little store, the workers there might get mad.

Maybe Ryan should give Buddy his jacket. He sheds the hoodie and wraps Buddy up nice and cozy in it, silently praying Luke doesn't mind dog fur all over said hoodie. He then goes to Luke's side, letting Luke take his hand and lead him inside.

They buy sodas and some junk food, along with  a quarter tank of gas. Luke also buys a bottle of water for Buddy, and a pack of gum for them to share.

Buddy greets them with doggy kisses as they return to the truck some ten minutes later, Ryan climbing in and watching Luke fill up his truck. He feels better, but maybe that's just because he's had some sugar and he knows he won't have to face his mother anytime soon.

It's probably the sugar. Time heals all wounds, but sugar heals them faster.

Luke sits back in the driver's seat, opening a bag of potato chips and offering Ryan some. Buddy tries to steal it, but Ryan manages to eat it successfully.

The clock reads 11:04. Ryan's phone has died long ago, and it's probably being blown up by his mother. He's glad he forgot to charge it this morning. There's no way he could face his mother now.

You know, Bryce had probably been right. Maybe she wasn't mad! Maybe she just overreacted for no apparent reason, and her reaction had looked very similar to her angry face. Maybe Ryan's the one overreacting!!

(Or maybe his mom just really, really hates gays.)

After they had gotten out of the car, they had all gone inside and sat in the living room. His mom had asked him to come speak with her privately, as in away from Bryce and any sense of safety Bryce might've brought him.

To say she was pleased was a complete lie. She was, in fact, the opposite of pleased. She had opened up her interrogation with a simple, basic, "How long has this been going on for?"

Ryan hadn't known how to respond. He really hadn't! He had been small and stressed and afraid, so he tells her the truth. He's been a gay, ass loving little bitch for a long, long time.

She, once again, was not pleased. His mom had then gone off on a tangent about how he was "too young to know what he wants" and how school is infinitely more important than these little "flings" he was having.

Then Ryan made his second mistake of the night. He snapped at his mother. It was something stupid and angry, just like him. Ryan tells her that he really just does NOT care about school or her standards or what she thinks, in general.

In case you weren't aware, Ryan does care what she thinks. He also cares about school. Not to mention that, coming from a boy in a bunny hoodie who is also crying his eyes out, these words don't really do much.

His mom gets angrier because Ryan is talking back to her. That's not surprising.

They kinda argued. A lot. Which, by the way, is not good, because Ryan knows his mother is only staying here for him, and they could easily move across the country....

"Hey, Ry? You doin' okay?" Luke's voice snaps him out of his angsty little monologue.

Ryan turns to him, and is only slightly surprised to learn that they've pulled up at Luke's house. He thinks for a moment.

Is he really okay?

Yeah. He's (relatively) okay.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

Luke clearly doesn't believe him, but he says nothing. Instead, Luke turns off the truck and opens the front door for Ryan to go in. He leads Ryan to his room,  holding him close as they both curl up in bed. He doesn't even comment on Buddy following them, or when Buddy lays down on top of them.

Princess, that spoiled bastard, hisses softly at Buddy when he takes her usual spot. Buddy is oblivious to his (kinda) sibling's disdain, and instead wags his tail and yips happily.

Ryan squeezes his eyes shut. If he closes his eyes hard enough, he'll fall asleep. That's how sleep works, right?

He learns, very quickly, that sleep does not work like that. But that's alright.

Ryan can just suffer with his own thoughts. That's perfectly fine.

-----

He wakes up to cat fur in his face. It's in his nose and his mouth, and his vision is blurred with streaks of black all over. The fur tickles, and it's not a nice kind of tickle either.

With a cough and a sputter, Ryan sits up and accidentally startles Princess off his face in the process. He gets three nice, long scratches across his shoulder for his efforts. They sting far more than Ryan anticipated.

He looks around. Luke is gone, and Buddy is fast asleep where Luke had once been.

"Luke?"

No response. Ryan sighs. He sits up and tries to gather the willpower to get out of bed. There is no strength or will, though, because if Luke isn't here then he's got nobody to distract him from his stupid teenage mommy issues.

So Ryan flops back down and goes to sleep again. Sleep comes much easier than last time, Ryan dozing off within minutes.

---

The second time he wakes up, it's to the sound of knocking at the front door. Ryan groans angrily, rubbing his eyes and forcing himself to get up. He looks down at himself to see if he's remotely presentable.

He's got a shirt on. Good enough.

Ryan gets out of bed, yawning as he makes his way to the front door. The knocking is getting more frantic, making Ryan speed up a little.

He opens the door, peeking his head out.

In front of the door, with a guilty look on his face, stands Jonathan. For all that Jon normally looks messy and tired, he looks like a complete disaster right now. Like, really, did he even try? It looks like someone just spat Jon out of a goat's asshole.

Ryan is tired. Physically and emotionally. There is no force in the world that could possibly give him the strength to deal with this situation right now. He shuts the door and marches straight back to the bedroom, where he slides back under the covers and sleeps once more.

---

The third time he wakes up is to Luke gently shaking his shoulder. He can feel Luke squeezing him as he shakes. Luke rips the covers off of him, too.

Ryan opens his eyes.

Luke is grinning. He's got his phone out. There's a bag in his hand, being waved in front of Ryan's face.

Ryan then remembers he has ears. He decides to use them.

"I know you ain't even listening, but I bought gummy bears and if you don't get out of bed I get all the clear ones!" Luke rips the bag open and pulls out a clear bear for emphasis.

The clear ones aren't Ryan's favorite bear kind, so he feels compelled to not care. Instead he speaks the very first thing to come to mind. "I think I saw Jonathan earlier."

Luke immediately begins to choke on his gummy bear. Ryan sits up and pats his back, giving the best help he can while half-awake. It doesn't do much, but it's help nonetheless.

"W- What?"

"I think Jon came by. And I shut the door in his face. But I dunno. Could've been dreaming," Ryan says thoughtfully. It's very much a thing that could be a thing. He has been sleeping all day, after all...

Luke is still struggling with his airways, Ryan notices. He's coughing wildly, having nearly dropped the bag of gummy bears. Since Ryan never did learn how to stop choking, he does the next best thing.

He slaps Luke's ass. It seems to do the trick, for Luke gives a dramatic gasp of air to signal that he has finished dying. Ryan pats his back and waits for Luke to regain his composure.

"Uh... did he- did you ask him what he needed? That jackass didn't- he didn't show up for nothin', right?" Luke asks, still surprised by Ryan's words. He looks around hesitantly, as if they were being watched. "You sure you weren't dreaming?"

"No," Ryan admits. "At least, I don't think I was."

He then looks down at himself. His shirt (Luke's shirt) is all wrinkled from where he's been sleeping for so long. Speaking of sleep, however...

"What time is it?"

Luke shrugs. "Uh.. 'bout seven, why you asking?"

"I feel dirty and gross from sleeping all day," Ryan sighs. "I have clothes here, right?"

Luke nods and gestures towards his dresser. "Yeah. Top left drawer is all yours, babe. You've got enough in there for, like, a week, tops."

Ryan beams. "Good. I'm gonna go shower. You're still using that nice shampoo, right?"

To his surprise, Luke groans and rubs his eyes. "Yeah. Just..."

"Just..?"

"Don't use all my goddamn hair conditioner again. That shit isn't cheap, you fuck." Luke flips him off and gives him a harmless glare.

Because he's mature, Ryan rolls his eyes. He gathers some clothes out of his drawer and sighs. "It's not my fault you buy really nice hair stuff. I think it's only fair that I use it every now and then."

Luke crosses his arms. "Ryan, last time you used my shower you used a fourth of the bottle."

"So? I have a lot of hair to condition. At least I don't spend hours doing my hair before every date," he snaps back playfully. By now, Ryan is just arguing for the sake of riling Luke up. He's awfully cute when he's all grumpy like this.

There's a small huff and then muttered curses directed at Ryan.  "I don't know if I trust you in the shower."

Ryan smirks. "Then come shower with me."

"The shower won't fit us both," Luke comments. He's considering coming along. Ryan can (at this point) pretty much read Luke's mind.

(Or, at the very least, he likes to think he can.)

"We'll make us fit. Just gotta get nice and cozy." Ryan feels brave and flirty. Is this how Luke feels when he tries to seduce him? He likes the feeling of it. Flirting is so much more fun when you know the other person likes it.

"Will you maybe go take Buddy home after? I think I'm allergic to dogs," Luke says dryly, only slightly killing the mood.

Ryan rolls his eyes. "Depends. Are you coming or not?"

Luke snickers as he follows Ryan out to the bathroom. They go in, and, as Ryan insisted, both do whatever people do when showering.

(Except they don't. They couldn't agree on a decent temperature for the shower so Luke got angry and left Ryan to shower and condition his hair as he pleases.)

(It's pretty nice. He uses whatever is left in the bottle. He'll just have to buy Luke another one.)