(Y/n) knew perfectly well this was the only way Rintarou would have accepted to meet her.

The man had pleasantly surprised her.

She had to admit she would have never expected him to see her again.

What made her sad was the unavoidable coldness of the invitation.

He had asked to meet her in his office inside the Mafia.

She hadn't an appointment with Rintarou, rather with Mori Ougai, the feared Mafia's boss.

It wasn't a casual choice.

He was letting her know about his intentions.

It was a business meeting: nothing more, nothing less.

She presented her invitation and was escorted to the boss' office.

She hesitated, but she couldn't go back.

She had decided to be there, nobody had forced her.

Certainly not the man hiding behind that massive door.

She took a deep breath and entered, trying to disguise her enthusiasm.

She couldn't wait to see him again.

She was surprised to see him in the shoes of the Mafia's boss.

"Rintarou..."

She whispered, captivated by his figure. Black suited him.

"(Y/n)." He whispered back.

Elise's shrill voice echoed in the room, but not for much.

Chinmoku. (Silence)

(Y/n) activated her ability: the power to silence every sound and noise in her range.

The man smiled and the little girl puffed.

They both knew pretty well (Y/n)'s ability's effects.

Mori nodded to Elise before she disappeared.

Mori's gaze stayed where the little one was and then it coldly shifted to (Y/n).

She wasn't surprised and, after a while, her ability's effect ended.

Mori perceived the change and spoke.

"I kind of missed your ability..."

"Now that you're the Mafia's boss I bet your life is much busier than back then..."

Mori flashed his eyes.

"What did you expect from the Mafia's boss? The entire organisation depends on me."

"Did they become your family?"

Mori was surprised by her question.

"Yeah, they're the family I couldn't have."

(Y/n) was sure the man had chosen those words to hurt her and to make her feel guilty.

She smiled seeing how Mori hasn't lost the habit to make those who were near him suffer.

In this case he wasn't wrong.

She was the one who let all the love he gave her die.

"I'd like to see Rintarou and not the Mafia's boss." Whispered (Y/n).

A long silence followed.

"Do you really think I actually want to speak with you? Do you really think you can come here after all these years and act as nothing has happened?"

"I know, you've all the rights to be mad... but... I was a fool, I shouldn't have... I'd like to go back..."

"You can't go back, (Y/n). Not now. Not now that I'm the Mafia's boss. I can't simply drop everything for..."

"We both know you never wanted this life..."

"And we both know I'd have chosen you if you only had let me."

Flashback from the past came to (Y/n)'s memory.

They met soon after the end of the war.

There was some kind of irresistible attraction that glued them since the first meeting.

At that time also (Y/n) got caught up in bad deals. The war had forced many to turn their back on common morality in order to survive.

But together they discovered there were still some values that made life worth living.

That summer was one of the best for them because they lived in a new hope.

The hope for a better life and maybe also for a family.

(Y/n) knew this was one of the greatest desires of Mori and she would have been happy to fulfil that project with him.

Or, at least, that was what she thought.

The cold days also come for them and none of them was expecting such a big change.

"Natsume has proposed to you what???"

"You've heard well, (Y/n)." Mori answered unmoved.

"Tell me you're joking."

"I wish it was a joke."

"To become the Mafia's boss? Had he thought about the big sacrifice you'll have to make in order to fulfil such a request???"

The gaze she saw in her lover made her understand that Rintarou knew the consequences. He knew what this meant for him.

For them.

They both knew Mori feared Natsume and that he would hardly refuse his request.

He feared and admired him at the same time.

If he chose him as the next Mafia's boss he must had his reasons.

After this revelation it seemed as if it was almost impossible for them to communicate.

(Y/n) thought Mori had already decided to say yes, while he tried to make her understand that he would have dropped everything for her.

He would have dropped Natsume and his crazy plan.

He would have done so if only she'd asked him.

If only she had wanted it.

And maybe (Y/n) wanted Rintarou to refuse.

She wanted it, but she wasn't ready to deal with that decision.

How could she?

It was as if destiny wanted them to live in the shadows.

I'm sorry, Rintarou. I want to be free from all of this.

But that freedom turned out different from what she had imagined. She kept thinking about Rintarou, about his sweet smile and his arms wrapped around her.

More than once she regretted her choice.

More than once she had travelled with her mind back to December, back to when she had left him alone, at the mercy of events.

At the beginning she thought it was just a phase, but the more time passed and the more she realised it wasn't like that.

Rintarou wasn't simply a phase of her life, he was her only reason of life and she had abandoned him for an unfounded fear.

She knew she couldn't go back in time and she knew that Mori wouldn't have forgiven her that easily.

For that reason many years had passed before she found the courage to reach him.

And now she was there, suffering from his words.

"You'd really dropped Natsume's plan?"

Mori came closer.

"I'd done it. If you'd asked me I'd done it. And now I wouldn't be a prisoner of this life."

"Couldn't we...?"

She didn't know what they could have been at this point.

"The Mafia's boss can't indulge in the luxury of a family... or even of a girlfriend. It would be so selfish of me putting you in such a risky position."

Those words cut into (Y/n)'s soul like blades.

If only she'd acted differently maybe now they could have been the family they've dreamed of for years.

She was surprised when Mori got closer to give her a soft smile on her forehead.

"This is the best I could do now, (Y/n). If I could I'd also go back in time. But, please. You've come out from the shadows. Don't ever try to come back."

21/07/2023

This is my personal view of our dear and beloved Mori Ougai, if you read Beast, to me what I wrote makes sense XD.

In this case the ability of (T/n) is Chinmoku (Silence). The author is Endō Shūsaku, the same one I used for the first one-shot in the collection, but he's one of my favourite authors and the one I know best; so I spam him everywhere! Although here I have brutally distorted the meaning of the work, Endō forgive me. Very briefly, the text tells of a Jesuit father who travels to Japan during the period of Christian persecution (this is around 1639) to look for another missionary who seems to have committed apostasy. And this missionary is very confident and keeps praying to God because he is certain that He will come to him, but things do not go exactly as he hopes. And since the title is Silence, critics have often misunderstood it to mean the silence of God who does not answer prayers, but obviously this was not the author's intent. Instead, his aim was to show that we are the ones who do not hear his voice in silence. So yes lol my choice of ability once again deviates from the meaning of the work, but ssssh.

See you next week for Speak Now!!! I can't wait because it's the one I'm most proud of right now, it's my favourite baby (although Better Than Revenge is no joke either...)