im bored so it's question time

BSD, WHAT IF YOUR MOM DIED?

atsushi: who?

dazai: aw wish it were me

kunikida: i would give her a proper burial and pay all my respects the way a responsible child should. i shall carry out her will, guide the-

yosano: i dunno, call the cops?

kenji: cry

tanizaki j: it's the circle of life

naomi: hakuna matata bitch

(ok sorry i just watched lion king for the first time about 2 weeks ago and now i know what all this hakuna matata is, let me be)

ranpo: solve the murder!

kyouka: she already did?

fukuzawa: honor her.

mori: i'm ok, i have elise

elise: fuck you rintarou

akutagawa r: who? (2)

higuchi: hmmm... maybe my sister can handle all the legal matters.

tachihara: *already crying*

gin: ask my brother

hirotsu: not surprised. how old do you think i am?

chuuya: ... really?

kaji: exhume the corpse in the name of science! stuff lemon bombs down her disemboweled carcass and stitch it back up!

koyou: kaji, please, we're a child-friendly organization.

oda: actually, heaven is real and my mom ain't here

ango: i swear... it was for the greater good. *holding gun*

(ok but ango just seems to me like the type who would join the rosicrusians or something if he were from the 18th century)

i forgot who else is in the mafia hi

fitzgerald: pay for her funeral.

louisa: well... i'll- i- i'll ca-

steinbeck: leave the farm, go to town to get a job and send the money to my siblings so they can atleast use something.

lovecraft: what's a mom

lucy: i don't care, i don't even know her!

twain: hmmm... the hell am i supposed to do? buy flowers?

moby dick guy (i keep forgetting his name, i'm sure the author of moby dick is named herman melville or something but why doesn't it sound right with this guy?): take her casket up the moby dick and show her the world one last time before we lower her to the dark underground.

idk the other members now who did i miss

dostoyevsky: ok cool story bro but i have to get back to scheming.