Dazai: *runs into the agency and knocks 3 stacks of papers down*

Chuuya: *chasing dazai* BITCH COME BACK HERE

Kunikida: Dazai, what did you pick up from the mafia this time?

Chuuya: I AM NOT A GODDAMN THING!

Atsushi: *pops up* Please calm down. . .

Dazai: Chuuya is so mean!

Chuuya: SHUT UP! WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE MEANER? YOU OR ME?

Yosano: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up?

Ranpo: Dazai brought a mafia guy.

Kyouka: . . . Hello.

Kenji: Ohhh! The guy who showed up in the tunnel and literally gave us a bargain that couldn't be bargained with.

Everyone: . . .

Ranpo: I remember that.

Chuuya: Well, shit. Anyways--

Dazai: *points at him accusingly* See? He's mean! He swears a lot, too!

Kunikida: *facepalms* Why do I have to be with this loser, O Great Kami-sama?

Tanizaki: *whispers* Weeb.

Naomi: We're Japanese.

Tanizaki: . . . Sure.

Yosano: So? What kind of conflict did you strike up again, Dazai?

Chuuya: Pardon me for answering a question which has not been aimed at me, but this mummy poured Windex on my laptop, used a paintball gun on my windows AND ran away while screaming his lungs out about me being mean.

Atsushi: Dazai-san, what on Earth--

Tanizaki: That was probably Gatorade.

Naomi: This is probably the only day I'm going to tell you to shut up.

Tanizaki: . . . Sorry.

Kunikida: . . . Mr. Nakahara, please forgive this bandage-wasting device. I'll get him to buy you a new laptop and force him to be your window-cleaner for 3 weeks without pay. Until then, please refrain from chasing him around because that serves to entertain him more than we'd want to.

Chuuya: He's probably going to doodle dicks on the glass. No thank you.

Everyone: . . .

Ranpo: I'd prefer Mickey Mouse.

Kenji: Tomato.

Yosano: The issue here is the doodles, guys, come on.

Atsushi: Don't fight about the doodles.

Tanizaki: 'Cuz it's better talking 'bout the noodles.

Naomi: . . . I'm dragging you out. *drags her brother out of the office*

Dazai: Aaanyways, this five foot three entity right here is sooo mean. He hates me so much despite my lovely presents. He's the worst person I've ever met.

Kyouka: Nakahara-san is not a bad person.

Chuuya: . . . *whispers* Holy shit.

Dazai: Give me a proof of your claim.

Kyouka: He saved me from Akutagawa-san one time.

Everyone: . . .

Kyouka: And another time he rescued me from a burning building since I still couldn't control Demon Snow.

Everyone: . . .

Yosano: Huh. You ain't so bad, I see.

Kenji: Yay!

Ranpo: I still don't like you for killing our CCTV.

Kyouka: But yeah, he's not mean.

Dazai: *claps* Thanks for the info, Kyouka-chan. Ufufufu. . .

Chuuya: Dazai, you bitch.

Kunikida: I see. . . So, uh, can you all, like, leave now? We've got to finish our papers.

Yosano: Oh, right.

Ranpo: BEFORE THAT--!

Kunikida: What is it?

Ranpo: Why the hell was the building on fire, anyways?

Kyouka: I want to know, too.

Chuuya: . . . I burned it.

Everyone: . . .

Atsushi: . . . Guys, what's the date today?

Kunikida: Shut up.

Kunikida: April 29th.

Atsushi: Sorry. Oh.

Kenji: You, what?

Chuuya: I-I burned it. . .

Dazai: . . . Happy Birthday Chuuya.

Kyouka: *summons Demon Snow*

( ok what is this )