A/N: Warning! Cussing involved! No like, no read.

==========================================================

Scissors: "You fuckers don't know about my knife stick! It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon!!!"
Jean-Pierre, not looking up from his book: "Spear."
Scissors: "B L O C K E D!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hole Punch: "You saved me. I owe you my life."

Olly: "No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rubber Band: "I made tea."
Jean-Pierre: "I don't want tea."
Rubber Band: "I did not make tea for you. This is my tea."
Jean-Pierre: "Then why are you telling me?"
Rubber Band: "It is a conversation starter."
Jean-Pierre: "That's a lousy conversation starter."
Rubber Band: "Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate~"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hole Punch: "Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much."
Tape: "Oh, you've been?"
Hole Punch: Once. In Monopoly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tape: "Whaddya call a fish with no eye?"
Jean-Pierre, not looking up: "Myxine Circifrons"
Tape: ...
Tape: "fsh"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tape: "That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut..."
Scissors: "You would eat yourself?"
Tape: "I wouldn't even question it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hole Punch: "Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?"
Olly: "Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak???"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olly: "So what's for dinner?"
Tape, staring at the food they just burnt: "Regret."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scissors: "If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited!"
Olly: "If?"
Hole Punch: "Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hole Punch: "If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?"
Olly: "How am I supposed to know?"
Tape: "You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult."
Olly: *sighs*
Olly: "You wouldn't be trapped."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scissors: "You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tape: "You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'"
Tape: "Doesn't work for getting out of speeding ticket, by the way."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interviewer: "So what do you do?"
Scissors: "I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers."
Interviewer: "Wow, impressive!"
Scissors: "Then I'll move on to Leos."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olly: "Fuck!"
Olivia: "We've got to work on your cursing."
Olly: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olly: "How did none of you hear what I just said?"
Tape: "I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours."
Hole Punch: "I got distracted about halfway through."
Scissors: "Ignoring you was a conscious decision."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olly: *Gently taps table*
Scissors: *Angrily taps back*
Olivia: "What are they doing?"
Tape: "Arguing in morse code."
Olly: *Aggressively taps table*
Scissors: *Slams hands down* "YOU TAKE THAT BACK-"

==============================================================

A/N: Part two coming soon