Name: Alyssa

Okay, to start off, I have been bullied basically my whole life. I guess child abuse could be considered bullying too. So, it all started when I was born...

My father would beat me. He would grab me by my arm and drag me out of the house. I can't remember alot of the things he did, but I know that he would hit me... very often. When I was about 7 years old (I think) my mom finally divorced him. When we would go over to his house for the weekend (Which no longer happens) I would have to take care of my younger siblings, and children that I'm not even related too. I would here the baby screaming in the crib, needing to be changed and feed. I would slowly get her and my brother out of their crib, and I would have to change them while my sister and step sister sat on the couch watching TV ever so quietly. I would have to get up and take both of the babies into the other room and put them in the play pin whole I made food for everyone, which was usually ramen noodles and baby formula (for the little ones)
Note: I was only 7 or 8 years old when this was happening. 

After my mom found out this was happening (about a year or so) he had to come over to the park near by to visit while my mom was there. At one point, I got so upset at him, that I refused to come back.

Okay, now on to school bullying... okay, so about K-8th grade. (I just graduated 8th grade, so I can only imagine what's to come...)

K

Okay, so this may sound stupid, but what else could you expect from a bunch of kindergardeners...

Okay, so there was this one girl who hated me for absolutely no reason what so ever... she would always get me in trouble for things I didn't do. There was this game thing we would play at the end of the day where we would be silent and we would have skittles on our desk. One person would walk around, and if we made a noise, they would take our skittles. Whenever this one girl would get up and walk around the room, she would always take my skittles. It was totally unfair.
Okay, like I said, that probably sounded stupid, but it was bullying... if you want to get to the worst stuff, just go to 8th grade.

1st-2nd

In 1st grade, I was put in a class with my best 'friend', Jewel. About halfway through the year, a new girl joined our class, her name was piper. We decided to go and greet her. We hoped to make a new friend. Jewel did, but I didn't. We would all play together during recess. We would pretend that we were long lost sisters and white wolfs.
(we were wierd.)Piper would then pull Jewel to the side. Piper said she needed to talk to jewel, and so I waited, and waited, and they never came back. They ditched me over and over again, and I just cried in the corner by the fence, waiting to go back inside.

3rd

There were two kids who normally bullied me in 3rd grade, Osman and Gracie. They would always call me names and said that I was stupid. They would make up stupid rumors about me so that no one would be my friend. They would always yell at me and ditch me and so many other things. Until one day, this kid named Austin stood up for me. They told him all kinds of lies about me, and he literally said, so what, she's my friend. They didn't bully me from then on. I guess they realised that everyone thought that they sounded stupid.

6th

Katie was my best friend at the time. She was being bullied, but I didn't know by who. She would alway tell me that I wouldn't know them. I didn't believe her. They were kids on her bus. They would call her fat all of the time. I tried to build up her self esteem by telling her that she waz beautiful no matter her weight, and she would just smile and thank me. She didn't believe it. Then, she started to take it out on me. One day, I wore a light blue eye shadow and some lip gloss, and she called me a slut, for no reason what so ever. She said I looked like a whore. It really hurt, but everyone else was laughing, so I laughed along too.

Then, all of a sudden, she was pulled out of school. Apparently she had been cutting herself. Her parents weren't doing anything about it, so I told a teacher. Then, she started posting on social media about how I was a "back stabbing bitch" and how I turned her. What did I do to deserve that? All I did was help her. After that, Katie was homeschooled, but she kept harassing my sister on facebook. I had to go and tell her to stop. I told her that she shouldn't be messing with my 7 year old (at the time) sister. That's when she stopped, and another bully formed. One of my other best 'friends' in 6th grade, Erin. It was just little things, like killing my mother's day flowers that we planted in environmental club. Then, it was calling me stupid, and turning herself into the victim, trying to turn my friends against me. It just gets worse as the years go on. I feel like they put us in the same class year after year on purpose.

7th

In 7th grade, I realised I was placed in the same class as Erin again. Then, I realised I was placed in the seat next to her... in every class...

We would sit together on the bleachers because my friends were her friends also. This didn't turn out well. She would trash talk people like Madison, the lesbian girl in 8th grade. (at the time) She would say things like how ugly her hair looked and she would spread rumors about how she was depressed because 'studies show that if you ever cut your hair then your depressed' which makes no since at all. Then, once again, she would start bullying me. I don't understand why it was only me. She blocked everything out and focused on ruining my life. I don't know what I did wrong.  I still don't know what I did to make her upset. I was always nice to her. Never said a word wrong. She would come up with these stupid past life stories with some of my friends, and then they were trying to come up with one for me. Do you know what she came up with? Apparently I was a prostitute that died young. Everyone of my friends laughed, so I laughed too. And what hurt most, was when she made the remark that that was probably going to be my future too. I was only 12. Never had a boyfriend, never had dirty thoughts, didn't know anything about it, so how could they come up with this. They were the ones making dirty jokes and having to explain them to me.

Anyway, this continued on for awhile. I then gathered the courage to stop being friends with her. I wasn't that brave. I wrote her a note. I told her about the stuff with my father and about the kids who bullied me at my old schools, and then said that we shouldn't be friends anymore.

She then wrote a detailed note back about how I was worthless and that she only hung out with me because of my friends. She told me that I was stupid and that I was worthless to her and to everyone else. She told me that she never liked me and that she always hated me. This crushed me. I don't know why it did, but it happened. I was crushed.

My mom doesn't know about this part. Erin would always 'hug' me, so tight, that I could not physically move or breath. She would forcefully grab and pick me up, pretending to be playful, but actually, it really hurt alot, considering you can see my spine and ribs through my flesh and since I bruise very easily. Some times, she would pinch my arm really hard and act like she was playing, but she wasn't. She would purposely flick me in the back of the head just to irritate me. One time, she 'playfully' pushed my 90 pound 5 2' body into the ground. She was so much bigger than me. It wasn't even funny. She pushed me so forcefully, that I fell to the ground, hitting the lockers. I couldn't even sit without going through some slight pain.

8th

God, this was the worst. At first, it was Erin as always. It wasn't as bad this year, at least with Erin. I wasn't physically hurt, just mentally.

Erin was the bully at the beginning of this year. She would call me stupid, and she would steal away my friends. One time, I was partnered up with a girl who took nudes at our school. I was partnered up with her because she was actually really nice to me. She was what I would consider a friend, even though some of the things she did were stupid. So, we were walking around math class, doing this stupid activity, and we were confused on this one question. We had the answer right, but the teacher wrote something wrong, so we asked for help. That's when Erin came up to us and said, no wonder you're confused.  You have Alyssa as a partner. And let me make this clear, I am not stupid. I am in the AP class, and I score higher than most people in class on our tests. Including her!!!
Okay, anyway, I sit next to her in science, so we are table partners. She does little things to annoy me, like ignore me when I have a question, or move the computer so far away that I can't see it.

Okay, now for the hard part. My 'bestfriend' Ashli (Ash) had recently gotten a new girlfriend.
(at the time)
She sat with her in every class. We used to do that, but then it was always Veronique (Vero) now. Vero would steal her away from me in every class. She always sat next to her. Ash then told be that she would sit next to me during BFF.
(One of our stupid leadership classes.)
So I was like, okay. The next day when we got there, (it was really early in the day, so the teachers were outside of the class rooms.)
Ash wanted to sit with Vero, but there wasn't enough room for me, so I walked around the room, trying to find seats for us all, and when I finally found some, a girl, caroline, let everyone else sit, but me. She screamed no. Then, I got up, and kept looking, and Ash skipped around in front of me. Then, Kat, one of my bullies, yells, She doesn't want to f-ckn' sit next to you!, then Rokaia, Kat's bff yelled, Yeah! Take a f-ckn' hint already!. Ash didn't do anything. She just stood and watched, then sat down with Vero and laughed.
I then slammed my stuff down on the table. Everyone stared at me. I had to say something now, so I yelled, We'll you didn't have to f-ckn' yell at me. Everyone else laughed, and I broke. I sat down, trying my hardest not to cry, but I couldn't stop myself. I felt betrayed by my best friend. The one who I cried for, thinking that she was moving to florida. The one who I listened to all of her problems. The one who I thought cared about me, no longer felt anything for me, but ditched me for Vero. Apparently I didn't mean much to her after all. I tried not to weep to loudly, or I would have drawn even more attention to myself. I kept my head down for the rest of the class, and when it was time to leave, I flipped my hair over to the other side so no one could fully see my teary red eyes with runny mascara. I sat alone for the rest of the day, refusing to talk to anyone except for the people would actually did care, like my real friends, Eva, Olivia, and Lita (who I only saw last period.)

After everything happened, Eva was the only one who asked if I was alright until I told Olivia about it. She wasn't there first period. In fourth period, I sat far away from ash, until she came and sat right by me. She finally realised that I was upset, even though she was there watching those girls tear me down and trash talk me, which they did for the rest of the year. I brushed it off and acted like everything was alright. I laughed along with her, like the stupid person I am. God, I'm going to start crying just writing this. That evening, I cut my bangs and I wore my makeup all 'emo' the next day. You should have heard what Kat and Rokaia said. They said that my makeup looked stupid and that it was all messed up. They said that I looked dumb and ugly. They hated on me and said that I looked like the joker. At that point, I was crying again. One time, Kat literally threatened to punch me in the face, then called me ugly, again. In art, Rokaia tried to boss me around even more. She yelled at me and tried to force me to move so she could sit where I was sitting for the past 20 minutes. Then, they would talk about me behind my back, and whenever I would answer a question in class, they would look at me with disgust. They just made me feel like crap. A few weeks later, Ash was talking to Erin, even though she knows what Erin had done to me. She was laughing and playing along with Erin. At that point, I was really upset with her because Ash hadn't talked to me in weeks. She blamed it on the testing schedule, but somehow she magically finds the time to hang out with my bullies. Then, they come right by me and start sitting their stuff on my desk, Laughing and playing even louder, like they are trying to mess with my head. That's when I pick up my stuff angerly and marching off. I wanted Ash to know that I was upset. I've been trying to get her to see for awhile now, but apparently she didn't care enough to notice like she used to. After that, I waited by the door for the bell to ring. I couldn't take the agonizing pain, so I did little things, like biting down hard on my thumb, or scratching up and down my arms, leaving red marks, which I hoped would soon go away. I never cut myself, but I did do those little stupid things. I don't know if that could be considered self harm or not, but it sure did take away some of the emotional pain. I would stop thinking about that, and start thinking about the pain that I was causing by biting down hard into my flesh.
(Never drawing blood or anything)

Nothing really happened after that, except realising who my friends really were.

If you want to comment anything, or ask any questions about my story, please do so, and I will try to reply.

Also, if you want to share your story, please comment or message me on my page. State your name (or Anon. For anonymous) then write your story/stories below that. If you want, you can put your grade or age of when this was happening to you, like I did in my story.