CADEN

Dad let out a frustrated laugh and sank into the sofa behind him, allowing the three of us to process his admission.

"It doesn't matter anyway!" He smiled at both Mad and me. "What matters is that I let them implicate me, and I turned out to be somehow like them. Not knowing how to give my own child the love they owe me. I thought it was because of my hatred for men like my fathers, but honestly, it's a curse. Maybe I am cursed," he whispered.

I stood still, holding onto the scream in my chest.

"Caden, I never hated you; you just reminded me of memories I was trying to withdraw from. You look everything like me growing up. So I pushed you away."

"I-I..." Mad began but stopped. She must also be in shock.

Martha lowered herself next to him on the sofa; he glanced at her and dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Look, I was a coward. It sucks not being able to fight your demons. But I've lost enough... I will not lose my son over what happened in my past. I wouldn't lose any one of you for that. I hated myself for not thinking of this earlier before the damage is done."

"Not everything is damaged, Jude," Martha murmured to him.

"You went to therapy?" I found myself asking him.

"Yes," he promptly looked up at me. "But I exited. It felt like nothing could help."

Maybe I understood him! Maybe I do know what it felt like to feel just as he did.

"I had joined therapy too... Earlier when we got here... But it didn't help." I shuttered as Mad's intense gaze burned my skin.

"What happened?" Dad softly asked me.

"It didn't help," I confessed quietly, avoiding the three sets of eyes fixed on me.

"You truly love her?" He jerked his head slightly at the girl beside me, with a stained red, puffy face. "Do you really love her?" He asked again.

I stayed silent for a while, debating whether his question was even relevant. Weren't we talking about therapy?

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"You two got married." It sounded more like a question than a statement.

What's that about?

"She felt like mom and Cara." I retorted instinctively.

Dad and Martha's eyes averted observingly in my direction, somehow fearful, like I was some psychotic person on the loose and I really needed help.

"Wait, what?" I heard one of them say.

"What?" I mumbled, my heart thumping in my chest while knots began forming in my stomach.

Is this when they tell me I can't have her because she's my stepsister?

For no one is taking her away from me! No one. There's a reason that pistol didn't kill me.

I don't mind dying, but being separated from her was what frightened me, and got my heart working again. Mad and I are meant to be.

"You married her because she felt like your mother and Cara?" Dad questioned, his brows knitted in confusion.

"What's wrong with that?" My gaze sliced straight at him, while my jaw ticked with annoyance.

"A lot..." He scoffed, blinking at me like I was insane. Beside him, Martha watched me with pity in her watery eyes.

I don't get it.

Slowly I look to my left, where Mad was, but what I found in her eyes was displeasure and heartbreak.

Was I really insane? What is happening?

"Son, you love her as a family. It's maternal and sibling affection, platonic love. Not as a wife, Caden." Dad carefully uttered.

That's when it dawned on me.

Shit!

"The hell you're wrong." I jerk back, pulling hard on my hair, willing to pluck every root if it means waking up from this nightmare.

"I am afraid that is sentimental love. You missed Cara and Jennifer... And Maddie was there at the time to replace the comfort you lost." Martha sadly said to me, stopping me in my tracks to stare at her with dilated blurry eyes.

No! No way she's right.

I stumbled back, my eyes found Mad's; she was softly sobbing in front of me.

"I—" I began.

"They're fucking wrong, Mad." I shook my head, advancing towards her, but she stepped back, tears streaming down her face.

What have I done?

Martha didn't get it... You get to lose comfort if you ever had it. I never had it. Mad came differently.

"No, you are all wrong." I turn to the two people I consider parents, shaking my head in refusal, like an insane person. They were trying to get in my head. But I know what I want. "I love her gleaming smile that was my brilliant sunshine in any depth of darkness. Her eyes remotely control my emotions when I myself cannot assist my organs. I love the scent of her shampoo and how it clouds my mind the second we part for errands. The way she holds a spoon before bringing it to her mouth. I love the way her soul connects to mine and makes me feel like a thousand fireflies exploding in my stomach with every touch. I love the way my body quickly reacts to hers. I love her warmth, her kiss, her proximity more than I need air to survive." I felt a warm liquid sliding down my face, but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to protect what's mine.

I love Mad, I only have to prove it to her.

When I spun to her, she has her hand covering her mouth, and tears rushing down her eyes, breathing shakily at me.

I can take that look from my dad and the society but I won't live when it comes to Mad.

"You saved me from the char of my own chaos. You're created differently from any human I've met. You understood me more than I can tell of myself. You inspired me to be a better person even when the world had told me vengeance and pain were what I was made for. I never know how to love or how it felt to be loved, but you happened, and now I fear I am going insane for the amount of love I have for you. You're patient, caring, and protective. Madison, I crave for you... I don't want to lose you. I swear all I see you as is my wife."

"So do not dare doubt my love for you. Do not let him make you doubt my love for you." Air rattling in my lungs as I motion to my dad.

"I believe you, son." I heard him say behind me.

Oh, save me the crap.

Infuriated, I turn and exclaimed: "I am not your son. You just try to sabotage the only happiness I have left. What is wrong with you? What did I ever do to you?"

"You think that's what I want here." He scoffs, frustrated. "I went back to New York to get your mother's ring the moment I learned about the two of you while you're in a coma." He dug out a fancy ring from his jacket worth museum exhibition.

"Why?" I sat by the edge of the bed, facing him.

"Because I wanted you to have it. It's the last piece I have of her. I thought you will need it. She's your mother."

From a distance, I observed the ring, and surprisingly, it provided the closure I needed.

Seeing it reminded me of what she really did— who she was. How badly she had treated me. How selfish she was for leaving the ring behind, just to escape from me, her son.

She doesn't deserve to be remembered.

"I don't need it." I swallowed the ache and stared at Mad's name written on my finger. "I have something better. Something forever."

It may not be worth millions, but it's enough for both of us.

"Truly, I am happy you found happiness despite everything, son."

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Look, I love you. But I also swear to look after Maddie. And that means making sure she finds true love."

"Not surprised how you always wanted to please others," I said derisively.

"You are wrong. I want to please you in any way I can. I want your happiness, and Maddie is a part of it." He was right in that part. I looked away from him. "About what I said earlier, I meant it. I want to make it up to you. You have my word. I promise to be a better father from today forward. I will show you. I will make up for all the things we missed together. If I mess up, you can make the decision, but please give me this chance. I wouldn't waste it; I will take you to a basketball game."

"I don't like basketball," I retorted.

"Oh..." He sounded disappointed, his palms grinding against his pants.

But it's not my fault; he played his part to get me to the phase of hating basketball.

I still remember when he would either switch off the TV or ask me to leave the living room whenever he walked in. I still remember when he took off my basketball court and replaced the space with a surprise gift for Cara.

"Then some sports," he suggested, guilt in his tone.

"I don't like sports," I honestly admitted.

The room became quiet, while Dad tried to think of anything human beings do for fun.

"He plays shooting video games like Call of Duty and wakes up earlier around five for a morning run," Mad quipped, smiling when I turned to her with an accusative glare. "He's a good cook; he only needs a recipe once, and he will create a delicious meal." She added with a small smile, pulling on her lip, her gaze focused on mine.

"That's good. If it's okay, I will stay for a while; we can do that as much as you want." I heard Dad saying. And then the space beside me compressed. I felt him, I sensed him.

He was now sitting next to me. "What else do you do? Favorite food?" He sounded intrigued to know everything, which doesn't even make sense.

I was contemplating whether or not to give in and let him in; then Mad smiled and nodded.

A little less tensed. I peek at him and inhaled: "I don't have a favorite food... But Mad thinks I prefer risotto. I ate three plates last week... I mean the first week of the new year." I corrected myself.

It felt so weird talking about me with Dad.

"I have this delicious risotto recipe." Martha winked, and that saved me from everyone's scrutiny.

"The risotto you made for Easter with defrosted chicken?" Mad snorts.

"Hey, young lady, you ate it all. Everyone did." Martha points her fingers at her daughter, as her brows raised at everyone in the room.

I remember throwing that dinner under the table because it tasted like raw oat.

"It was delicious." "Nothing like I've ever tasted." "How can I forget that perfect dinner." We all unison. I even found myself stifling a laugh at the memory.

"However, this place we went, their chef was extraordinary," Mad informed them about our honeymoon.

"I still don't see him competing with your mom; she's quite the cook," Dad replied, causing heat to spread across Martha's face.

"Cool, then risotto it is," Martha announced. "It will be on your welcome home menu." She smiled warmly at me, while Dad's hand dropped over my shoulders. Once again attracting every attention on me.