xxxi. farewell, spacewalker
remember me

FOR THE FIRST time in a long while, Sawyer did not know what to do. What could she do? It was not like she could bring Finn back from the dead. The moment Clarke stepped away from the Collins boy with a blood soaked blade in her hand, she knew that nothing would ever be the same.

Once Finn's body slumped against the stake, Sawyer rushed to Clarke's side and attempted to whisk her out there. Before they could get far, one of the Grounders intercepted their path and ushered them into the Commander's tent. He did not enter with them, leaving both girls alone in the cloth structure.

Sawyer stood next to the largest table in the space that depicted the Ark camp. She picked at the skin around her nails, creating long, raw strips in her skin. A horrible habit she thought faded when she had been tossed into the Skybox, but it returned tenfold after they were sent to Earth.

Near the wooden throne, Clarke sat on the raised platform. She stared at the blood that coated her hands, trying desperately to wipe it off as ragged sobs escaped her lips.

Sawyer wanted to say something to calm Clarke's cries, but her words would not sooth the Griffin girl. She killed Finn. She did so to save him from an excruciating death, but she still ended his life with her own hands. Nothing Sawyer said could ease Clarke's pain. Someone she loved died because of her own actions, and she would never be able to take it back.

It seemed like eons before the front flap moved and Abby Griffin strode inside. Her stare fell to Sawyer, who stood closer to the entrance, before she looked to her daughter on the other side of the tent. Abby carefully moved toward her and knelt, reaching out to grasp the girl's hands in her own.

Marcus Kane entered after the woman. His attention shifted to Sawyer as he stepped to her side. His brows were raised, seeming to ask if she were alright. 

Sawyer met his gaze and nodded, even though she felt far from it.

Clarke sniffled hard as she met her mother's gaze. "They would've tortured him," she gasped out. "I had to. I – I had to."

"Okay. It's okay," Abby exclaimed, holding out her arms to wrap them around her daughter.

Clarke sucked in breath after breath as she sobbed into her mother's shoulder. "I had to." Abby tried to calm her, but the girl was inconsolable. "What did I do?"

Sawyer pressed her lips together as her own tears threatened to fall. She could not stand to hear her friend's cries any longer. She wanted to help her. She really did, but Clarke could not be helped. Not yet.

When the front flap shifted again, Sawyer whirled to find the Grounder who ushered her and Clarke into the tent. He stood well over six feet with a long, dark beard and long hair to match. She did not remember his name, or cared to remember it. There were other things to worry about than formalities.

The Grounder glanced over the mother and daughter duo who separated at his appearance and set his attention on Sawyer. "The Commander is ready to talk."

Sawyer nodded to him, before she looked to Clarke. The Griffin girl stood, wiping at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Their eyes connected, and a silent agreement passed between them. They would listen to whatever the Commander wanted to say, even if she wanted revenge for want happened to Finn.

The Commander shoved the flap aside and strode into the tent, heading straight for her ornate throne. Indra followed after her, as did the Grounder man, and stood at her side.

The Commander sat upon the central chair and let her stare drift to the girls. "Blood has answered blood. Some on my side say that's not enough. They wanted the murderer to suffer as our tradition demands. But, they do not know that your suffering will be worse," she explained, setting her attention on Clarke. "What you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days." She paused, looking to Sawyer. "Still, there will be restitution. The body will be given to the people of TonDC. Murderer and murdered joined by fire. Only then can we have peace."

"No, no," Kane spoke, pulling everyone's stares to him. "We've done enough. The boy should be buried by his own people."

"Enough?" Indra voiced with a sharp glare. A glare she held since Sawyer first laid eyes on her. "We were owed the pain of eighteen deaths. We were owned our righteous kill. My village deserves justice."

"You don't want justice. You want vengeance," Abby countered.

Indra's expression hardened toward the Griffin woman. "You have not seen my vengeance."

The entire exchange, Sawyer looked to Clarke. Over the last month, they got good at silent conversations with nothing but eye contact and facial expressions. They came in handy for situations like the one they were in at that exact moment. When Kane and Abby wanted to assert their themselves into negotiations they knew nothing about, leaving Sawyer and Clarke, the ones who knew the most about the Grounders, out of it.

The girls were not about to let Kane and Abby ruin their one and only chance to save their friends in Mount Weather. If that meant handing over Finn's dead body, then so be it.

"It's fine. We'll do it," Sawyer stated, causing those in the tent to look her way. "When it's over, we're gonna talk about getting our people out of Mount Weather. Sky People and Grounders alike."

The Commander met her stare and said, "we want the same things, Sawyer."

Sawyer nodded. "Great. When do you want to leave?"

"Now," the Commander stated and rose to her feet. "Choose your attendants." She stepped down from the throne's platform and headed for the exit.

Sawyer sighed. Another night of sleeplessness. Did Grounders ever rest? She started to turn and leave after them, but she stopped when Abby grabbed ahold of her arm.

"Sawyer, you don't have to do this," Abby told her.

Sawyer's brows creased as she pulled her arm from her grasp. "I wasn't the only one who agreed."

Abby looked at her in confusion, before her gaze drifted to her daughter. "Clarke?"

Clarke swallowed hard and gave her mother a placid stare. "If this truce doesn't hold, I killed Finn for nothing."

Sawyer slipped away from the adults, hurrying out of the tent to avoid the long winded discussion that was sure to follow. She did not want to hear anything about Finn's right to be buried alongside his people. Finn was dead. He would not know what happened to his body, and they needed an alliance with the Commander to save their people from Mount Weather.  

Without another word, Sawyer shoved her way through the front flap to prepare for their trip to the Grounder village of TonDC.

__________

Despite the late hour, many of the Ark camp residents were wide awake. Sawyer knew what they wanted. An answer to whether or not the Grounders would accept their proposal of peace. Sawyer did not blame them. After all, their lives were left to the mercy of a group of people who were far from kindhearted.

Sawyer ignored everyone as she entered Alpha Station. They were on the verge of peace, and she did not want a mob of angered or fearful people to ruin it. She weaved through the corridors until she stopped in front of a residential cabin. She reached out and grabbed ahold of the door handle, before a voice called out to her.

"Sawyer, hey."

Sawyer sighed heavily, turning to where Murphy strode down the hallway in her direction. "Yes, John."

Murphy moved to her side with furrowed brows. "Someone's in a mood."

Sawyer gave him a flat stare and said, "I can't do this, right now." She twisted the door handle and popped open the door to the cabin.

The dull, grey interior greeted Sawyer as she stepped across the threshold. Compared to other residential areas throughout the Ark, the place did not look any different. They were all relatively similar. The same basic amenities like beds and tables and chairs. Nothing extravagant. At least, that was the case when it came to any other cabin not on Alpha Station.

Since most people who lived on the station were the privileged, their residential areas were a lot larger. The Griffins' owned one such place. It somehow managed to survive the Ark's fall to Earth, but a lot of their things were destroyed in the process. Clarke was kind enough to let Sawyer stay there when she realized it remained in one piece, considering her old home on Factory Station no longer existed. Although, she never actually got to spend a night there. She failed to have more a few moments to herself since she and Clarke escaped Mount Weather.

Sawyer moved across the open living area to where a door sat along the far wall. From first glance, anyone could tell the belonged to the one and only Clarke Griffin. Drawings of all kinds were smeared over the walls. There were impressive forest landscapes, starry night skies, and animals that were supposed to roam the wild lands of Earth. If only the radiation soaked planet looked remotely like Clarke's hand-drawn images.

Sawyer's things were scattered throughout the room, having claimed the space as her own. Clarke practically forced her to, explaining that she would take her father's old office for the time being. Just until they figured out a plan of peace with the Grounders.

Murphy huffed as he followed the Wesley girl through the open door. "This has to be Clarke's place," he voiced, glancing around at Clarke's drawings.

Sawyer kept her back turned to him as she grabbed her pack from the bed. "Perceptive." She ripped open the zipper, scanning the contents inside. There were food rations, a bottle of water, a rolled up piece of fabric that would protect her against Mount Weather's acid fog, and the handgun she kept after what happened with Finn.

"Where're you going?" Murphy questioned.

Sawyer re-zipped the pack and slung the pack onto her shoulders. She looked to her oldest friend and said, "to the village where Finn killed all those Grounders. The Commander wants to do some kind of memorial."

Murphy's brows creased. "And you're gonna go? Just like that?"

"What else am I supposed to do, John?" Sawyer snapped, before she noticed her sudden outburst and took a deep breath. "We need the Grounders to get into Mount Weather. Without them, our friends are gonna die, and I'm not gonna let that happen. So if I need to risk an alliance with the people who tried to kill us a few days ago, I will." She moved to step around Murphy, but he blocked her path to the door. A groan rumbled in her chest. "John."

"This is crazy, you have to know that," Murphy exclaimed to her. "You really think those people are gonna follow any deal you make with them?"

Sawyer sighed. "I have to. We're out of options." She paused and glanced toward the door. "You gonna let me leave, now? I'd say you could come with, but knowing you, you're presence would get us all killed," she quipped with slight upturn of her lips.

Murphy rolled his eyes, but he did not look offended. If anything, he seemed amused. "You're so sweet."

Sawyer scoffed, before her grin fell away and a serious expression consumed her features. "Please, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Murphy simply smiled in return. "It's like you don't know me at all."

Sawyer deadpanned. "You're gonna be the death of me."

__________

Sweat dripped from Sawyer's dark hairline, rolling down the back of her neck when the moon drifted below the horizon and the morning sun rose into the sky. By mid-day, the yellow ball of fire brightened the landscape as she and a chosen few trudged along a cleared trail toward the village of TonDC. Most of the Grounders led the way, while others followed behind as if to keep an eye on them. Not that Sawyer expected anything less.

Finn's body had been taken from his final resting place, wrapped in the thick, brown cloth, and placed onto a wooden cart pulled by one of the Grounders' horses. Raven sat on the end of the cart, not having the stamina to walk the prolonged distance with her injured leg. She also wanted to stay as close to Finn's body as she possibly could. When Clarke informed Raven that the Grounders wanted him for the memorial, she refused and made a scene. Since then, the mechanic failed to even look toward the female leaders.

Of course, Sawyer understood. Raven lost a person she loved. She had a right to grieve him, even if that included being angry with her and Clarke.

Sawyer's gaze drifted from Raven to where Clarke walked a little ways in front of her. The Griffin girl failed to say much since they left the Ark camp, keeping to herself as they made their way through the forest. No one wanted to push her after everything that happened. Sawyer especially. She witnessed the aftermath of Finn's death firsthand, and she knew it would be a long time before Clarke got passed what she did to the boy she loved.

"Is she doing alright?"

Sawyer looked to where Bellamy walked at her side. His grip remained firm on his rifle as they moved deeper and deeper into Grounder territory, seeming more than uncomfortable surrounded by the people who tried to kill them days earlier. His eyes were narrowed, aimed toward the blonde ahead of them. Sawyer followed his gaze and sighed. "What do you think? She just killed Finn. She far from okay."

Bellamy's expression stayed placid as he said, "she did the right thing."

"Tell her that," Sawyer told him. "Not that she'd believe you. She loved Finn. At least, I think she did. And now, he's dead." They continued on in silence until she glanced to the Blake man and questioned, "tell me the truth. You think I'm making a mistake with this truce?"

Bellamy released a long breath. "I think we're wasting our time on politics, while our friends are in trouble."

"Without their army, we don't stand a chance against Mount Weather," Sawyer countered. They needed a lot more than what the Ark camp could offer. Guns could only go so far against a fortified bunker.

"Their army has been getting their ass kicked by Mount Weather forever," Bellamy argued, before his expression wavered. Sawyer did not fail to miss it. "What we need is an inside man. Someone to be our eyes and ears."

Sawyer paused when his statement registered in her mind. Inside man. Did that mean Bellamy wanted to infiltrate Mount Weather? On his own? "You wanna try and break into Mount Weather? Bellamy, that's a suicide mission."

Bellamy's determination shone on his features. "Sawyer, if you and Clarke can make it out, I can make it in."

Sawyer scoffed. "Clarke and I made it out by sheer luck. If Anya hadn't helped us, we'd probably be dead, right now. You're not going in there."

Bellamy pressed his lips together, tightening his grasp on the rifle. "Since I don't take orders from you, I'm gonna need a better reason."

Sawyer quirked a brow. "A better reason? Okay. How about I don't want another one of my friends dying. There were a hundred and two of us, Bellamy. There's only half of us left. I'm not losing anyone else. Not if I can help it," she exclaimed, returning her gaze to the trail.

Bellamy frowned at her words. A beat of silence passed between them, before he replied, "Fine. I won't go until we both agree that it'll work."

Sawyer's stare remained straight-ahead as she said, "don't hold your breath."

__________

When night fell across the landscape, the Ark residents and Grounders brought their journey to a halt and settled down for a few hours of needed sleep. A few hours Sawyer desperately needed before her legs gave out from underneath her. They were still not enough to fully recharge her mind, but they would have to do until they reached the village and made it through the memorial.

Sawyer's unease spiked as they grew closer to the Grounder village. A large gate composed of several different kinds of metal loomed before them in the dense foliage. The Commander and her right hand man, Gustus, stopped atop their horses and hopped down to approach the entrance of the village.

Gustus walked away from the Commander to the Ark people. He looked over them with narrowed eyes as he nodded to a Grounder man walked toward them, holding a basket in his hands. "Weapons."

Lincoln, who had been released from Medical for the trip to his old village, moved forward and handed his knife to Gustus. "We need to disarm before we enter."

Sawyer nodded. That did not seem like an unreasonable request. The last time one of her people stepped inside their village eighteen, innocent lives were taken. She knew her travel companions would not want to turn over their weapons, especially surrounded by an entire society of Grounders, but they needed to make the first move and show the Commander and her people that they were serious about the formation of a truce.

Sawyer stepped forward next, removing her dropship metal knife from her jacket pocket and the gun she shoved into the waistband of her jeans. She placed them in the basket held in the Grounder man's hands. She turned to her right where Clarke did the same with her own handgun. To the left, Bellamy unclipped the magazine of his rifle and handed them both to Gustus.

Octavia, Abby, and Kane relinquished their weapons without complaint. But when Gustus and the Grounder man reached Raven, they encountered a problem. Her hardened glare did not falter as she refused to move. Gustus took matters into his own hands, taking a knife from Raven's backpack strap, the rifle hung from her shoulder, another knife from her leg brace, and two other blades from the backpack itself.

Sawyer's irritation rose with every weapon taken from Raven. She told the Reyes girl that if she went with them to not screw anything up. If they wanted to live on Earth, they would have make peace with the Grounders, or they would have to survive for the rest of their lives. Sawyer knew Raven was angry because of Finn's death, but Finn got himself killed when he opened fire on innocent people. No one else's fault but his own.

After Gustus took all of Raven's weapons, he turned and called out to the Commander, who stood next to the opened gate to the village, in their language, "Heda, all klir."

Sawyer's brows creased. Every time one of the Grounders spoke in their native tongue, it made her wonder what they were saying. Although, she did understand one word. Heda. They said it whenever they addressed the Commander. And since it was not the girl's name, having learned from Lincoln that it was Lexa, Sawyer figured that it could only be the Grounder word for Commander.

Without another word, the Commander and the other Grounders started through the gate and entered the village of TonDC. Sawyer stared after them, before she glanced toward Clarke and Bellamy. They exchanged a look and followed them into the tiny community. Sawyer reached up to grip the straps of her backpack when she noticed the amount of Grounders gathered next to their buildings and towers erected around trees. They shouted to their Commander. Words she could not begin to translate, other than Heda.

The crowd grew denser as they moved further into the village. Sawyer's attention snapped to the front of their procession when they came to a sudden stop. A Grounder man intercepted their path, speaking with the Commander. She could not understand a word he said, but she could tell he sounded angry and hurt because of something. She figured it had to do with their presence.

Gustus gave the man an order, but the man continued. The moment his last statement left his lips, the Commander looked to Gustus. The massive Grounder moved forward and punched the man, knocking him flat onto his back. Gustus knelt to his level and sent punch after punch toward the man's face. The other Grounders fell silent around them.

Sawyer did not want more violence. She was there to end the fighting between their people.

Clarke seemed to have the same idea. Her wide stare snapped to Sawyer and she exclaimed, "tell her to stop this. They'll blame us for this, too."

Sawyer agreed. She surged forward to where the Commander watched Gustus beat the man into a pulp. "Commander, stop this – please," she muttered low enough for only her to hear. The Commander's eyes flickered to her for a moment, before they drifted back to the altercation. "Your people will blame us for this. It'll just make things worse."

The Commander inhaled, glancing to Sawyer for a mere second, and returned her stare to the two men. "Teik em liv," she voiced, forcing Gustus to pause in his actions and stand from the injured Grounder.

A woman emerged from the crowd and leaned down to help the man from the ground, helping him limp back to the others.

The Commander stepped forward and turned to address everyone. "The Sky People march with us, now. Anyone who tries to stop that – will pay with their life."

Sawyer blinked, staring at the Commander as she spun on her heel and procced through the middle of the village. She really hated how her speech caused a warm sensation to form in the pit of her stomach. The last thing she needed was for her hormones to run rapid when their lives hung in the balance. Sawyer shoved it down the best as she could and pushed off the packed dirt to go after the girl.

__________

A funeral pyre had already been built when they reached the heart of the village. Sawyer and her people crowded one side of the wooden structure, while the Commander and the rest of the Grounders looked on everywhere else. The bodies of the murdered were placed inside the stacked logs and Finn's own sat on the top, waiting to be set alight by the torch held in Indra's hand.

"Kru of TonDC," the Commander voiced to them all in her native language, "en fleim, oso gyon kiln jus of stelt."

Lincoln translated to the people of the Ark from where he stood beside Octavia. "People of TonDC, in fire – we cleanse the pain of the past."

Sawyer wanted to believe fire could help ease all of their pain. The old Finn strived for peace with the Grounders. She hoped his death put them one step closer to his wish.

Indra stepped to where the Commander perched on a raised platform and handed her the lit torch in her hand. The Commander took it, staring at the pyre for a moment, before her gaze shifted to the people of the Ark, or Sky People. More specifically, Sawyer.

Sawyer met the girl's green gaze, seeming to know exactly what she wanted. For her to light the pyre at her side. But Sawyer believed someone else needed to perform the action in her place. She glanced toward Clarke, noticing the forced placid expression on her face. Her eyes drifted back to the Commander, who appeared to have understood the silent request.

"Clarke," the Commander called, capturing the Griffin girl's attention. She moved the torch in her hand and held out in her direction.

Clarke's eyes went wide at the offer. She looked over to Sawyer, but the Wesley girl urged her on with a nod. With a deep breath, Clarke stepped forward to take the torch and climbed onto the platform beside the Commander. Her stare fell to the pyre and caused her to hesitate. She slowly held the torch out, transferring the flame to the wooden structure. "Yu gonplei ste odon," she voiced in the Grounder language. The same words spoken by Anya moments before she took her last breath.

Sawyer noticed the visible change that rippled through the crowd. Her people did not blink at the unfamiliar phrase, but the Grounders' straightened and looked to Clarke in awe.

Clarke paid them no mind as she stepped off the platform and set the lit torch onto the bottom of the pyre. The flames licked at the wood, quickly consuming the structure and the nineteen bodies placed upon it.

<May 17, 2020>

STOP COMMENTING FOR ME TO UPDATE!!!

I know you guys like this story and want it to continue, but asking for updates does not motivate me to post. Like, at all. In fact, it's kind of rude. The next comment I see asking for updates, or even includes the word update, will be deleted.

On a happier note, Sawyer and Murphy are on the road to rekindling their friendship. Too bad this is the last time they're going to speak until Season 3...

Don't forget to vote and comment.

-Jordan

P.S. Unedited chapter.