xxix. difficult decisions
spacewalker

SILENCE PASSED between Sawyer and the Commander as they stared at one another. The last demand hung in the air around them, settling onto the Wesley girl's shoulders like a thousand pound weight. How was she supposed to hand over one of her friends? Force him to go with the Grounders who injured and killed their people in horrendous ways? The moment Finn stepped foot in their camp, he was as good as dead.

Sawyer wanted to negotiate with the Commander and try to change her mind, but she knew that it would be futile. Finn murdered eighteen of her people. The Commander would not stop until she received justice for them. Or, at the very least, revenge.

With no other option than to comply with the Commander's request, especially if she wanted a truce, Sawyer left the Grounders and returned to the Ark camp. She did not know what she would do after that. None of her friends would willingly hand over Finn. Not without a fight. That alone would put them right back where they started. At war.

Sawyer approached the front gate where guards were poised and ready to fire their weapons at the two Grounder who escorted her. She held up her hands as she grew closer. "Don't shoot. It's me, Sawyer," she called out to them.

The guards heard and lowered their weapons, pulling the gate open to let her inside.

Sawyer stepped through, leaving the Grounders behind. "Shut the gate," she shouted to the guards over her shoulder. She knew that the two men on horseback would not leave until they had Finn in their custody, and she did not want them to enter before she figured out their next move.

Sawyer strode forward, being met by Clarke, Abby, and the others. She flicked her gaze from the blonde Griffin to where Finn walked at her side. Her voice lowered as she reached her side. "You need to get him out of here," she hissed, nodding to the dark haired boy.

Clarke's brows creased. "What? Why? What happened?"

Sawyer pressed her lips together, glancing around at everyone who started to gather in a crowd. Even those she did not know. She turned her attention back to Clarke and said, "not here. There's too many people."

Clarke nodded and started to steer them toward the Ark, but Abby intercepted their path.

The Griffin woman's stare fell on Sawyer as she asked, "what did she say? Is there a chance for a truce?"

Sawyer took notice of more and more people headed their way. She could not say what the Commander wanted, not out in the open with dozens of people around. Prior experience proved that crowds did not make good decisions. And in that moment, the last thing they needed was for a riot to break out.

Sawyer met the woman's gaze. "Not here," she stressed.

Abby seemed to understand the meaning beneath her words. "Okay, let's get inside."

Sawyer stepped forward with Clarke and Abby until another voice stopped them.

"What's wrong?" Finn questioned when he picked up on the Wesley girl's strained tone.

Sawyer released a breath and looked to him. "Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing," Raven quipped from where she walked up to them.

Sawyer turned to the mechanic, keeping her voice low and steady to not alert everyone to the situation at hand. "I'll tell you later." Her peripheral vision saw more people in the clearing of the camp. If they were going to make it to the Ark without incident, they needed to do it right then. She turned back to Clarke and Abby. "Let's go."

They moved through the crowd and toward the Ark's entrance. Sawyer proceeded to weave between those who came to hear what the Commander had to say. She and the others were several yards from the large, circular door, but they were brought to stop as a series of shouts erupted around them. 

"Are the Grounders going to attack?"

"Should we run?"

"What are you hiding from us?"

Sawyer jolted to a halt when someone grabbed ahold of her arm. She whirled, coming face-to-face without a man she had never seen before.

"Tell us what the Grounders said," he demanded with a narrowed stare.

Sawyer ripped herself out of his grasp and snarled her nose at him. "Touch me again, and I'll tear your arm from its socket," she snapped, causing the man to stumble back, before she continued, "you'll know what the Grounders said afterI speak with the Chancellor." She then spun on her heel and strode in the direction of the Ark without another word.

_______

As soon as she, Clarke, Abby, and a few others were inside the meeting room, Sawyer relayed the conversation held between her and the Commander. How the girl wanted Finn in exchange for a truce. As expected, they did not take the news well. No one liked the terms set by the Commander, and no one wanted to hand Finn over to those who wanted him dead.

Everyone dispersed after all had been said. Bellamy left to inform the guards of the new development, wanting to make sure they were ready in case the Grounders did not want to wait for Sawyer to make a decision. Abby went off somewhere to do God knew what, while the others readied themselves for the inevitable.

Sawyer should have taken the opportunity to rest, or get in a quick nap. The past few days were long and tiring and sleep never even crossed her mind. If she were honest, Sawyer forgot when the last time she stopped for more than a couple of minutes. From searching for Mount Weather's transmission tower to Lincoln's detox to speaking with the Commander, she could drop where she stood and not wake up for weeks. But, they had more important things at hand.

In spite of that, Sawyer took a few minutes to rest. She managed to find a secluded spot between the Ark and the larger pieces of debris still imbedded in the ground. She lowered herself to the ground and rested her head against the structure's metal siding, closing her eyes as the movement of her people faded away.

Sawyer did not know how long she sat there, in the calm darkness, until a voice startled her awake. Her eyes snapped open, and she looked up to where Bellamy towered above her with a rifle in hand.

"Naptime's over," Bellamy voiced as she blinked through her drowsy haze. "Word's spread. Everyone knows that the Grounders want Finn."

Sawyer groaned, pushing herself up to her feet. "Perfect. Just what we need."

"It was bound to get out," Bellamy stated when they began to walk alongside each other through camp.

Sawyer huffed and ran a hand over her face. "Yeah, but I was hoping it would've taken awhile." Her gaze shifted across the area for any sign of her friends. None of them where in sight. "Where is everyone?"

"Finn's inside, against his wishes, and Clarke went to talk to Lincoln," Bellamy told her.

Sawyer nodded. Once they were sure Lincoln purged the drug that Mount Weather injected into him, Abby moved him to the Medical portion of the Ark for further observation. While he survived the ordeal, she wanted to make sure he stayed that way. His heart did stop twice. Something could still happen to him.

"I should probably do the same thing." Sawyer turned to the eldest Blake and met his stare. Hers strained, and his placid. "Bellamy, we need to be prepared for the worst."

Bellamy's brows furrowed. "We will be. We have more manpower and more guns than we did last time."

Sawyer pressed her lips together. "That's not what I meant." She did not elaborate and started for Medical without another word.

_______

By the time she arrived in the secluded space in the Ark structure, Sawyer found Clarke, Abby, and Octavia crowded around Lincoln. The man laid on one of the cushioned tables inside with his wrists secured to its metal frame. His skin appeared pale, while sweat clung to him in a thin sheen. With the drug that made him a Reaper out of his system, he should have been back to normal and no longer wanted to rip them apart with his teeth. But, Sawyer figured they could not be too careful.

"Just tell us," Abby voiced as Sawyer moved further into the room. "Is there a way to make peace?"

Lincoln glanced between the women and asked, "did she leave riders behind?"

"Two," Sawyer stated, bringing everyone's attention to her, and stepped toward the man. "They're still at the gate."

"They're waiting for Finn. You don't have much time to decide," Lincoln told them.

Octavia moved to his side. "She can't expect us to just hand over one of our own people. Would she do that?" she questioned.

Lincoln looked to her. "She wouldn't let the rest of her people die to protect a murderer." He turned to the other women. "If you don't do this, she will kill everyone in this camp."

"There has to be something else that we can offer," Abby said.

Lincoln's eyes narrowed. "Finn took eighteen lives. The Commander's offering to take just one in return. Take the deal."

"How can you say that?" Clarke exclaimed. "Finn was the first person to come to you to offer peace. He's your friend."

"He massacred my village," Lincoln retorted, a tense edge to his voice. "Some of the dead were my friends, too."

"But that wasn't Finn. You know that's not who he is."

"It is now."

Lincoln's statement struck a chord in Sawyer. She still could not believe that Finn, of all people, opened fire on a Grounder village. From the start, he wanted nothing but peace with them. He never would have touched a gun, let alone use one to kill a bunch of innocents.

But, that Finn and the Finn across camp were not the same person. Not anymore.

"We've all got a monster inside of us, Clarke, and we're all responsible for what it does when we let it out," Lincoln continued.

Sawyer crossed her arms over her chest and asked the man, "if we give him up, what're they gonna do to him?"

Lincoln glanced her way and said, "fire. Because he killed the innocent, it starts with fire."

"Starts?" Clarke questioned as her shoulders tensed.

Lincoln shifted his stare to the blonde and began to explain, "they'll take his hands. His tongue. His eyes. And anyone who grieves will have a turn with the knife. At sunrise, the Commander will end it with her sword." He paused. "But, I've never known anyone to survive until the sword. He killed eighteen – he will suffer the pain of eighteen deaths. Then we can have peace."

_______

For the first time in a long while, Sawyer did not know what to do. Not when it came to Finn, or the Grounders, or even her people still trapped in Mount Weather. She had no plan. At least, not one that would give everyone a happy ending.

So, Sawyer forced herself to think of another alternative. She could not bring herself to hand Finn over to the Commander, especially not after Lincoln explained how the girl intended to punish him. Although, she refused to call it a punishment. An act that horrific could only be described as an execution.

Sawyer returned to the spot she claimed earlier in the night. Her back rested against the side of the Ark, while she stared up at the sky that lightened over her head. The sun began to rise. They were running out of time. She needed to think of what to do and fast, or else the Grounders would choose for her.

Just as her eyes fluttered closed, to give her a moment a peace, a voice brought her back to reality. Sawyer's eyes snapped open to find the John Murphy in front of her with a rifle in his hands. Her stare narrowed toward the weapon and then up to his scab covered features. "Who the hell gave you that?" she exclaimed.

Murphy glanced down at the gun in his grasp. "Byrne. I guess we really are screwed, huh?" he quipped with a shrug.

Any other time, Sawyer would have told him off. In fact, she wanted to, but she felt too exhausted to form a spiteful retort. "Guess so," she breathed, pulling her legs up to set her arms atop her bent knees.

Murphy made a noise through his nose and moved to lower himself down to sit at her side. "Never thought I hear the Sawyer Wesley admit defeat."

Sawyer released a long breath. "Never thought I would have to debate whether or not to hand someone over to be executed."

They were silence for a moment, before Murphy said, "I tried to stop him."

Sawyer turned from where she stared at the dull, muddy ground at her feet to where he sat on her right. Their gazes met, and it threw her when she recognized the sincerity in his eyes. She did not expect to see that. After everything Murphy did, she believe he could no longer show the emotion.

However, the look could not excuse his past actions. Murphy killed two of their own, tried to do the same to Bellamy, shot Raven, and grazed her with a bullet.

But, in that moment, Sawyer did not want to hate Murphy. Hate toward him took up too much room in her mind, and she had more important things to deal with than a grudge.

Sawyer sighed. "I know."

Murphy's brows creased at her words. "You know?"

Sawyer nodded. "Yeah, I know. You might be a horrible human being, but outright slaughter just isn't your style," she quipped as her lips upturned the tiniest bit.

Murphy gaped at her for a long time, before he gave her a small grin. "Just when I think I understand you."

Sawyer shrugged. "I could say the same for you."

Their conversation ceased when deep, loud chanting erupted throughout camp. Sawyer perked up at the sound as it grew in volume, forming words that she did not understand. The language spoken by the Grounders.

"Jus drein, jus daun! Jus drein, jus daun!"

"What is that?" Murphy questioned, hearing the strange phrase. 

Sawyer climbed up from the ground and started toward the front of the Ark. "The Grounders. Our time's up," she stated, kicking off the mud in search of Clarke and Abby. She hoped that they came up with a plan. If not, they were all about to die.

The mother and daughter duo stood at the station's entrance. Their stares aimed toward the camp's gate where the two Grounders were still waited for Finn. Sawyer made her way over to them. Only slight glances in her direction told her they noticed her presence.

"They're trying to scare us," Bellamy called out as he kept a firm grip on his gun.

Sawyer blew out a breath, setting her gaze on the faint outline of the Grounder's encampment beyond the fence. "Pretty sure it's working," she muttered under her breath.

"I think we should pull back and go inside the station," Abby voiced to those around her.

Clarke looked to her mother and shook her head. "No. We need to prove we're not afraid."

Abby turned to her daughter and asked, "what if I am?"

Clarke gave her a tight grin. "Fake it," she said and reached out to squeeze her mother's hand.

Abby returned the gesture, before she pulled away from her daughter and headed toward the gate.

Sawyer trailed after the woman with Clarke and Bellamy at her sides. Like hell if they were going to stay behind while Abby confronted the Grounders.

"Open the gate," Abby instructed the guards when she approached.

Sawyer came to a stop several feet behind the woman, watching the guards pulled the gate aside. Her hands tightened into a fist next to her thighs as Abby stepped closer to the Grounders. She did not know what the stand-in Chancellor would, but she braced herself for the worse.

With the gate no longer separating them, the Grounders pulled their horses closer and questioned, "where's the boy?"

Abby straightened her posture and faced them head-on. "We're not giving him up. We're ready to fight if that's what it comes to."

The Grounders appeared as though they were about to react, but a low horn filled the air. Sawyer's hand unclenched, ready to act. But instead of an attack, the two men pulled on the straps tied around their horses mouths and turned them to ride away from the gate. Her brows furrowed at the sight.

Bellamy shouted for the guards to remain alert and to watch the trees as the Grounders disappeared from view.

Before Sawyer could question why the Grounders did not attack, someone spotted movement on the other side of the clearing. She followed their gazes to see a figure emerge from the forest. Their hands were raised above their head as they weaved through the thick foliage that covered the ground.

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" a masculine voice escaped the figure.

Sawyer squinted to get a better look at them, but his image did not register until he almost stood directly in front of Abby. Marcus Kane, a former Council member and the new Chancellor. At least, that was Sawyer's understanding. She remembered that he left to speak with the Commander about a form of peace when she and Clarke were still in Mount Weather. If she were honest, she forgot all about him.

"Marcus," Abby voiced as she met the man when he entered the gate.

"Chancellor," Kane greeted the woman.

Sawyer could not hear the rest of their exchange, so she started for them. After Abby's declaration toward the Grounders, they needed to get themselves ready for retaliation. The Commander would not let the matter go without a fight. If she did not get her hands on Finn soon, her people would attack and kill them all.

Kane glanced away from Abby and to the camp around them. "It's good to see this place, again."

"You can't be out in the open," Bellamy told the man as he and Clarke were right on Sawyer's heels. "We need to get somewhere safe."

Kane looked to him and produced a tight grin. "It's safe – for the moment. Come on." His next words were aimed more toward Abby as they strode toward the Ark. "We need to talk. I managed to buy us a bit of time."

_______

Once Kane assured everyone that they were safe for the time being, he and Abby sealed themselves into the meeting room to formulate their next move. Sawyer, Clarke, and Bellamy were not permitted inside, leaving them to stand vigil just beyond the threshold.

The situation pissed Sawyer off more than anything. Despite all of their actions, she and the rest of the hundred were still seen as children. Even after she negotiated with the Commander, they refused to acknowledge that she and her friends were capable of holding their own.

A little while into Kane and Abby's secluded discussion, Clarke left to find Finn and tell him about the recent events. Sawyer and Bellamy decided to stay, along with Raven, and wait for the adults to reach a verdict, wanting to know if they would have to intervene. They were sure that they would turn Finn over to the Grounders, but they needed to hear it firsthand. And when Abby exited the room almost half an hour later, they got their answer. They were going to give him up.

Soon after the revelation, Sawyer and Bellamy set off to locate Clarke and Finn, while Raven rushed toward Engineering to plot their departure. They needed to get the boy out of their before the rest of the Ark residents adopted the same mentality.

Sawyer failed to stop long enough to ponder whether or not they should sneak Finn out of camp. She did not want to. She did not want the responsibility of deciding the fate of her friend. She just wanted to live through the day. That was all she could think about.

"Finn," Bellamy called out to the Collins boy when he spotted him and Clarke in a corridor. He lowered his voice as he reached them. "You need to get out of here."

Clarke turned to him with furrowed brows. "Where would he go?"

"The dropship," Bellamy stated, starting back through the station.

Clarke's eyes widened. "No," she exclaimed as they walked on. "You know that this is the safest place for him..."

"Not when they're turning on him," Sawyer cut the blonde off. Her gaze flicked across the hallway, noticing more and more people crowded inside. If something were to happen, they were vastly overnumbered.

"We can protect him at the dropship until we figure this thing out," Bellamy added and turned to the others. "Grab your gear and meet at Raven's gate in five. She's already working on cutting the power to the fence."

Finn halted in the middle of the corridor, forcing the other three to do the same. "Okay, but nobody's coming with me."

Sawyer rolled her eyes. The boy's attitude began to grow on her last nerve. He was the one to drag them into the entire mess. Why did he have to make everything so much more difficult?

Sawyer faced the Collins boy with a flat stare. "Finn, shut up and accept the help. We're leaving, so go get your stuff," she demanded.

Finn's expression hardened. Sawyer did not care.

"We're surrounded by Grounders," Clarke countered toward her co-leaders.

"If we split up, we take the low ground. We'll make it through. We'll meet at the dropship," Bellamy explained to her.

"There he is!"

Sawyer whirled at the loud shout to where a man strode through the corridor with a large wrench in hand. Others crowded around him, surging forward to where the delinquents stood.

"You're gonna get us killed," the man shouted, pointing toward Finn with the wrench.

He lunged forward to strike at the boy, but Bellamy intercepted his path and slammed the end of his gun into the man's stomach. The man collapsed to the ground, wheezing as he clutched his body. Sawyer smirked down at him.

"Anyone else?" Bellamy questioned to the others who were with the man.

They shuffled away from the fallen man and the delinquents.

Clarke took in the scene and nodded. "Sawyer and Bellamy are right. We have to go," she exclaimed, shoving against Finn to get him into motion.

Sawyer, Clarke, Bellamy, and Finn rushed through the disbanded mob to grab their things and flee the Ark camp before someone else tried to take matters into their own hands.

<February 29, 2020>

It took me so long to write this chapter, and I absolutely hate it. Ugh!

Don't forget to vote and comment.

-Jordan

P.S. Unedited chapter.