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Book:ย Lifestyle of America

Author: @KPOP_CLUB_97

Judge: @k00kiesandch0c0lates

Score:ย 42/80

Title: 2/5

The title is really simple, but that's not the main problem. The title doesn't match with the story plot. From the title, it seems that the plot is about the lifestyle of Americans. But the plot doesn't reflect the title fully. Also, I think it should be Americans instead of America. You used different fonts to write the title so that it looks aesthetic. It's all well, but my suggestion is that please don't use very complicated fonts; instead, you can use other simple fonts such as bold, bold serif, italic, italic serif, etc. The font that you used sometimes may be hard to read by others.

Cover: 2.5/5

The cover is very simple and doesn't reflect the story plot. The font that you used for the cover is okay, but the placement of the sentence isn't right. For the picture, I think you can use any picture that resembles America. Also put your pen name on the cover; from my point of view, it looks beautiful.

Blurb: 2.5/5

I love the aesthetics in the blurb. But I think the blurb is very flat and blunt. If you add a little bit more description about America in the beginning, then it'll look more elegant. I mean, don't put the description of your book directly; instead, make it a little bit dramatic to attract the readers.

Plot: 6/15

The plot doesn't seem attractive or unique to me. And I think it's just a dialogue between you and your mom about something. From my little knowledge of literature, it doesn't belong to short story categories. It's more like a conversation between two people than a story, which contains a plot, characters, etc. Also, what I thought reading the title isn't what the plot is. There's not anything about the lifestyle of Americans. You just described a game that is played by two American girls. But I think this isn't the actual lifestyle of them. When you want to describe any nation's lifestyle, you've got to describe their cultures, food, occasions, styles, fashions, behavior, manners, hospitality, etc. There should be advantages and disadvantages too, because every nation has qualities as well as flaws. So I think the plot isn't well enough.

Characters: 3/5

I think the character isn't that good. You should improve in this category. You can add more introductions of yours and your mother. This way, the reader can know about your POV and your mother's POV. It's still not clear what you two think of Americans' lifestyle. Also, the YouTuber that you mentioned, I think it needs more introduction too.

Pacing: 2/5

To me, pacing is very slow. The game that you explain to your mom isn't something that should be explained by 4 weeks. The story would be attractive if you described 5 stories in 5 weeks, one story in each week. Then the readers could know more about Americans' lifestyles.

Writing Style: 10/15

If I think of this as a dialogue, then the writing style is okay. Still, it has a lot of grammatical errors and punctuation issues. So, you need to improve that to make a good impression on your writing style. Other than that, everything's okay.

Grammar & Punctuation: 5/10

The writing contains a lot of grammatical errors, such as articles, tense, and spelling mistakes. Also, it has a bunch of punctuation mistakes. Uses of commas are one of them. When you use ellipsis, don't put many dots. Just put three dots for the ellipsis.

Vocabulary: 3/5

Vocabulary isn't rich. It's pretty simple, and it has many spelling mistakes, as I have seen. Try to use some unique words to make it attractive.

Overall Evaluation: 6/10

For me, the concept is good, but it has many issues. If you improve on those wrongs, I think it can be better. You have the potential. So, keep going.

Total: 42/80

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Book:ย Silent Tears

Author: @bungguki

Judge: @k00kiesandch0c0lates

Score: 41/80ย 

Title: 5/5

The title is good, and it matches well with the story. It describes the concept, and the meaning of the title is deep. So, to me, it's kind of aesthetic and poetic.

Cover: 3/5

The font that you used for the cover is very simple, but still, it looks good. But I think you shouldn't use the same font and colour to write your name at the bottom. For this, it looks dull now. You could use a line as a subtitle or blurb or quote for the cover. It makes a cover attractive. Based on the concept, you have a lot of sentences to write as a quote. Also, the picture is a little bit flat; try to focus on that too.

Blurb: 2.5/5

One army can understand what you mean by the first line. But to attract the readers and make the story beautiful, you need to add a little bit of description about the concept or plot of the story. From reading the title, the main theme of the story is still unclear.

Plot: 6.5/15

The plot isn't unique or something new. Many people wrote this type of story. But I found out you've got the potential to make something unique; you just have some issues that should be improved. The plot is unclear until you make that note; still, the plot or the real theme of the story is not evident enough. The reason behind their suicide, how they met, how their friendship had grown, how their family was, and how Hobi healed her is still unclear to me. There are many questions left to be answered. And the note didn't help that much. The story can be good if you use the right method.

Characters: 2.5/5

There weren't any detailed introductions of the characters. We can only see two characters but don't know about themselves clearly. You also should describe the families of the two main leads. This way it would be clear why their life had been pathetic.

Pacing: 2/5

The pacing rate was so fast. Like every chapter, there were new scenes, and at the end of the chapter there was a cliffhanger or some mystery that was never answered. The pacing also makes the plot really hard to understand.

Writing Style: 6/15

You must improve this category. In your "Character" chapter, you should add some description about Jung Hoseok and Kang Y/N. There wasn't any introduction about the main lead. There were unnecessary spaces between lines and sentences. There were many paragraphs that shouldn't be needed. Many chapters didn't make sense to me. As an example, the first chapter should be something. It's a great source to collect readers, but the first chapter of this book failed to impress me.

Grammar & Punctuation: 5/10

I found a lot of grammatical issues. You had some problems regarding the proper uses of tense. Also, I found so many punctuation mistakes, and there were capitalization problems too. Make sure to put three dots (...) when you use ellipsis.

Vocabulary: 2.5/5

The vocabulary is okay but not impressive. Try to work on it and make it rich. It'll help a lot to make a good book.

Overall Evaluation: 6/10

Though the plot is good, the lack of management makes it bland. Making a good cover, blurb and arranging the plot and characters, and improving writing styles, grammar, and punctuation are all needed to have a satisfying story.

Total: 41/80

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HOST'S NOTE: A story takes so many efforts and dedication to be written. You all have done amazing work as an author. This review was not to discourage you or criticize you, but to point out what could make the story standout even more and what could highlight your efforts even more. Never give up and do your best, learning and improving alongside. I hope y'all will take this positively and achieve success in your writing journey.

Cheers to your amazing work!!!

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