๐๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ - ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ' ๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ
ย ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ' ๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ
Book: The Destiny's Game
Author: @SeoulmateYURA
Judge:ย @Hells07dealer7
Score:ย 37/80
Title: 5/5
The title is interesting, and it does not match entirely to the plot, but it does fit the relationship of the leads. Their meeting was truly a Destiny's game.
Cover: 0.5/5
The cover is not exactly a cover, first of all, there is not even a title placed, and only a picture is there. The cover has no blurb or author name. Also, the picture is not clear enough. I would suggest you order a cover from a graphic shop or make a cover yourself if you can, it is your choice though.
Blurb: 2.5/5
The description is good and interesting. The length is also perfect, and it gives a good number of spoilers. But there are a few grammatical mistakes, and missing punctuation marks. I would advise you to either use a grammar-correcting app or you can copy-paste the description into Google Docs which will underline the errors, and you can correct them with the help of suggestions.
Plot: 10/15
The plot of the story is okay, it's a unique plot and not very common but it is not structured well. The plot is very unstable. I would advise you to either write the chapter in script form so that the plot has better development or write in the format of 50% dialogues and 50% scripts. I guess you are new to writing because in the beginning I also used to write like this only, but don't worry I am sure with little changes you will develop your writing skills and stories.
Characters: 1/5
The characters are not introduced well. I know you want to keep things mysterious but maybe you should explain the characters well. Firstly, give a brief introduction of Taehyung, if you are going to use Taehyung for dialogue then use that name in the description and introduction, not V. Also, you have written it is a Vsoo ff, but the main female lead is named here Nabi which doesn't make the story Vsoo ff instead it is a TaehyungxReader ff. If you are using idols' names, you have to make sure that only the names are used, even if you want to give them a nickname. The letter can have Nabi as a nickname but while writing the main plot and introduction, you should use Jisoo.
Pacing: 1/5
The pace of the story is very fast, the story looks extremely rushed. The plot is too long for such a short book. Make sure to give time to each incident or write longer chapters.
Writing style: 5/15
The writing style for the story is not suitable. I don't want to make you feel bad, I want to help you. I will explain everything in points one by one
โMake sure to capitalize all the first letters and names.
โWhile writing dialogues, don't write them in brackets instead write like this (Taehyung looked around searching for Nabi as he murmured to himself, "Where are you wifey") same goes with the emotions, don't write emotions in brackets
โSince you are new to writing (I am not sure) I would advise you to write an introduction of all your characters and publish it. It will help in better understanding of characters.
โDon't use too many different names, only while in the letter use Nabi, if you are writing dialogues or something else use Jisoo.
Grammar and Punctuation: 3/10
As I said the story needs a proofread, the story has too many Grammatical errors and missing punctuation marks. Also, the tense is not correct sometimes. Use Google Docs, it corrects all three.
Vocabulary: 3/5
The vocabulary is good, though it's not very efficient but still, you chose the right words.
Overall Evaluation: 6/10
Overall, the story is good, even though it needs a lot of development, but you have great ideas.
Total: 37/80
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Book: Mr. X
Author: @yourkookie1707
Judge:ย @Hells07dealer7
Score: 42/80
Title: 2/5
The title is okay but unfortunately it does not match the story. Title should at least tell something about the story but looking at the title, we have no idea. What the story is about, like not at all. I would suggest you do a little search for the name for your story. You can search on various platforms or mismatch words a little to make it related to the story.
Cover: 1.5/5
The cover is not clear enough. The cover is white and black which is not a problem, but the saturation is too high. There are way better pictures you can use for your covers. Next the fonts are too small, even though they are readable but still they are very blurry, it needs a lot of concentration to understand the words. I would suggest you make a new cover or order one from a shop.
Blurb: 3.5/5
The description is good, it's surely interesting. However, there are few changes I would recommend you make.
โPlease don't use so many full stops, it makes sentences look very clumpy and not clear. Use a comma to arrange the sentence, and full stop to end it. Using a lot of commas makes it look not good.
โIn the description you have written that the cover is made by MINI7_ME. I think you have changed the username, so please correct it.
โWrite sentences like this.
Yn spoke, scared, "Who are you? Why are you doing this?"
Someone has been following her for months, no one knows who he is.... what does he want from yn. Let's see......
The man smirked to himself looking at her from a distance "I will make you mine, you are mine... mine only"
Yn shouted looking at the man "No... you're a psychopath. I will never be yours"
Destiny looks at the two individuals smirking to itself "Oh really? Let's see"
JungkookXReader
Plot: 12/15
The plot of the story is very interesting, a little common but very interesting, nonetheless. The only advice is to enhance your writing style and don't use too many different fonts. Use simple and straight ones only.
Like straight one for everything
Italic for thoughts
Bold for scene Changes
Characters: 3/5
The characters are good but not introduced well enough. The way you have introduced the characters looks too casual. While writing a story try to introduce characters from a third person pov as you are writing it as a writer. The way you have introduced Characters makes it feel like we are reading a person's school introduction. Like hi I am hope and am 17 years old.
Write it like this:
A girl sat on her bed frustrated, throwing her phone aside. She is Kim Yn who came to Seoul for her education. She is in first year of college. She was very happy coming to Seoul; however, things are not going the way she wanted. Someone has been stalking her for a few months and she has no idea who it is.
Pacing: 5/5
The pace of the story is okay.
Writing style: 5/15
The writing style for the story is not suitable. Don't think I want to make you feel bad, I just want to help you. I have already explained the points in Description and plot. All you have to do is implement them
Grammar and Punctuation: 5/10
The story is in need of editing. The sentence formation and grammar are okay, but the punctuation really needs to be corrected.
Vocabulary: 4/5
The vocabulary is okay.
Overall Evaluation: 6/10
Overall, the story is good, it just needs some changes.
Total: 42/80
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Book: Crimson Love
Author: @a_purple_girl
Judge: @LAJoynerย
Score:ย 48/80
Title: 5/5ย
Considering it's a vampire story, and after having to read it, the title fits.
Cover: 1/5ย
I don't see where the cover fits the story.
Blurb: 3/5ย
Who is saying what in the blurb? The information is a little here and there. The last section with the questions makes the most sense as a blurb of enticing a reader.
Plot: 5/15ย
The plot kind of jumps around here and there. The whole plot started out Jungkook trying to solve a mystery of the glowing lake to find a cure for his father, then switches plots to Jungkook falling prey to a sexual predator under the guise of a vampire. The father and a cure forgotten.
Characters: 2/5
The characters of Tae and Jk were more like sexual predator and prey characters. Taehyung basically took advantage of Jungkook while Jungkook was in a distressed mental and emotional state.
Pacing: 3/5ย
Pacing was affected by filler chapters and paragraphs, slowing it down and the plot jumping track.
Writing Style: 12/15ย
The style of this story seemed to jump from one thing to the next, an event with certain characters/a character to another breaking up the story. working on smoother transitions will help a lot. Then there is one chapter explicitly leading up to and describing anal sex, which the author even said at the end wasn't really there for the plot and that it was mainly just filler. The chapter could have been left out and nothing would have been lost as it was of no real benefit to the story plot. It is listed as mature but does not mention explicit content. Taehyung takes advantage of Jungkook mentally, physically and more, with his vampire power and intimidation of control over Jungkook.
Grammar and Punctuation: 8/10
It is good to see a story with correct quotation marks used. I found no issues with punctuation or dialogue markers. Paragraph structure was well done.
The plural of mouse is mice instead of mouses. There are some tense issues, still. Many typos that may be found with good proofreading could have been avoided. A few examples: 'hut' for but, 'gpt' for got, 'ransinto the' (ran into the), 'thoght' for thought. 'No' for not (I'm no surprised, should be I'm not surprised.) "I promise not to use a single teeth on you" the singular form is tooth, the plural form, is teeth. Lots of little mistakes that added up. Some consistency issues Ex: Jungkook is sitting on the couch with a book, he snuggles back relaxed on the couch reading the book, the gets up, laying the book on the couch, to look out the window and turns from the window and he lays down on the bed to read more. When did he go to his room, and how did the book get there? Issues like these are found in the story. This was the best example I thought to use.
Vocabulary: 4/5ย
hmm a little over kill with the endearments, in some parts an abundance of 'sweetness' and 'sweetheart'.
Overall Evaluation: 5/10
Continuity issues, plural and singular issues, rough transitions hinder the flow of the story overall. At first the story starts out as mystery thriller of Jungkook desperately trying to find a cure for his dad and he may have found it in an old book about a lake that glows and can heal (the mystery and thrill part). Then the whole story changes: the dad forgotten, finding a cure forgotten. There needs to be a better mature warning.
Total: 48/80
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HOST'S NOTE: A story takes so many efforts and dedication to be written. You all have done amazing work as an author. This review was not to discourage you or criticize you, but to point out what could make the story standout even more and what could highlight your efforts even more. Never give up and do your best, learning and improving alongside.ย I hope y'all will take this positively and achieve success in your writing journey.
Cheers to your amazing work!!!
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