Birds chirping is the first thing I am aware of. I rub my hands against a warm but rough blanket. The comforting scent of herbs brings a smile to my face. These herbs are familiar to me. They remind me of...

My eyes fly open to see that I am in my small bedroom, lying in bed. Events from yesterday fly into my mind. I am in Hell and Kol is far from here, fighting in the Motherwealth's pointless war.

We already wasted the night. I don't know what time it is but we need to leave, get back to Regal as quick as possible. Before it is too late. Kol is never one to play it safe, being in a war is the worst place for him.

I scramble to my feet, pushing the pain of my side to the back of my mind. I pop my head out the door, I see Ezra sprawled out on the floor.

"Ezra, it's morning," I says loud enough to wake him.

He startles awake and locks eyes with me. "Ok." He gets up from the floor and stretches. "Let's get back to Regal." He pulls out a bag and slips on a pair of shoes almost in one flawless movement, as if he has been ready this whole time. "I thought about this after you fell asleep last night, and I think we should go into town. If your brother left two days ago, I would think that some capital people are still around. Our best chance is getting a ride with them."

"But how can we get a ride with them? We ran from Regal. We should be shot for fleeing."

"I think I have a few ideas up my sleeve on how to avoid that. But you have to follow my lead."

I give a sharp nod. I can do that. Anything to get back to Kol.

"Look around, collect anything that you might want to bring with you and let's leave in 20 minutes?"

My eyes dart around the room, wondering what I would need for the trip. My mind is barely functioning. My heart is racing. My side is burning.

I walked to the middle of the room and mentally check off things that could be important. When I left, I only brought a handful of items with me. Those items didn't seem as important anymore. What did I need anyhow when Regal has everything?

Ezra grabs the tattered backpack he took with him and pulls out my skates.

With all the chaos, I forgot about those. Skating means so much to me, so how on earth did I forget them? It makes me feel ashamed for a second. Eydis is another topic that haven't thought about as much as she deserved. How could I let it come to this? I thought she would always consume my thoughts. I want her to always have space in my mind. She will forever have my heart. I never want to forget that.

He places them on the floor, next to the worn chair with a tea stain on it. "These are yours. Skating is part of you. You need these to skate, to be yourself."

I smile at the gesture. I never asked him to bring these skates. I did not even think about it. But seeing them warm my soul.

"We should get a few pairs of your clothes while we can."

I nod. Although it sounds silly to bring my worn clothes to Regal. I humor him though, stuffing a few pairs of tops and socks into the bag.

Nerves twist my stomach into knots. I never envisioned leaving Hell again but here I am. If only Kol was here, then I wouldn't have to do this. My only hope is to find Kol quickly. The quicker he is found, the quicker we can return.

"I'm ready," I say to Ezra.

He pops his head out of a cupboard with bread in his hands. "It's stale, but maybe it will be useful. There isn't much food here that we can bring along."

"I'm sure there's money laying around somewhere. We could get some more food in town."

"I'm guessing my money does not work here?" He swings his golden chain around in his hands.

I chuckle. In theory it should work, I guess, but the little cards and chains don't. Our systems are too old. Too outdated to read any of the modern tech the Motherwealth has. The best luck is with coins.

"Good guess." I wonder back into my room to a box by the window and open it to see a handful of change within it. With the change in my hands, I walk out to show Ezra. "We use these."

His eyes grow wide as he looks at the circular items in my hands. "I haven't seen anything like this in person. This is old stuff, Telvi, like before my parents old."

I shrug. "This is the only stuff we use." I put the change in my pocket.

"I was told all the Commonwealths used the same cards we did in the capital."

I give a humorless chuckle. "I think you should know by now not to trust what the Motherwealth tells you."

He frowns. "Old habits die hard. Well, are you ready?"

I gave one last look around the small house then turns back to Ezra. This is not good-bye. I will return. Soon.

There is nothing more in the house for me. The most important thing is far in Regal. We do not need to be in a war for a Motherwealth that we do not care for.

"Yes, I'm ready," I reply to him then head out the door, ready for whatever awaited us.

______________

As we trek into town Ezra has these wide eyes, taking in everything. It appears that this is some magical journey to him but for me, it is a normal path that I took so many times before. Every tree, street corner, house is something I have seen million times over. Everyone knows me, I know everyone.

I shutter, remember feeling like I didn't belong here. There was something within me that felt out of place. Even being back here, doesn't feel any better. Skating was a refuge but even then, it didn't fill me the same way Eydis did. She made me feel whole in ways that Hell or skating would never. Eydis would never remember that though. That pains me.

"People might ask why you are back. You should have a story to be prepared."

I shake my head, clearing it. "I don't think they will care. It's not like I was the most popular girl in town."

"I find that hard to believe." He scoff.

"It's the truth, Ezra. I didn't fit in here. There was a reason I skated away from everyone. Kol fit in more than I ever did."

"Then why did you want to return to the place that you didn't fit in?"

This is a fantastic question. One that I really don't have a good answer for. This is home. The place I grew up in. I don't know anything different and I don't know where else to go to. I thought I would feel warm and fuzzy about it. But then again, I never really felt warm and fuzzy about this place even before I left. Kol is here. I thought he would make it better. He will. I just have to find him.

I frown as I adjust the bag over my shoulder. "I don't know anything else. If I won't go back here, where would I go?"

He nods in silence, seeing my point.

I wonder if Eydis feels at home where she is at. Selfishly, I want her to feel as empty as I am. "Where is Eydis?" I ask.

"She's back in her Commonwealth. Figured that was the safest place for her."

He is probably right. But I still hoped for a different answer. I would have loved to see her here, with me, no matter how small and unrealistic that reality is.

"Do you know if she's safe?"

He nods. "I have people that check on her from time to time. Sometimes I get photos. The other day, I got a message saying she's doing just fine."

I wish I could have seen the photos. Was she happy? Does she feel like something inside her is missing, like I did in my heart? Memories are not enough to think of her. I want facts. Most importantly, I want to be with her. To hold her. I miss her. More than my heart can bear it.

If I try hard enough, I can see her sitting on a chair in front of a house that looks like my own, soaking in the warm sun, listening to that folksy music she often did. Her browned skin would be glistening, sparkling from the light like she was a cut gem. Her smile would be wide as she taps her leg to the beat.

My eyes glance upwards towards the sky. We are under the same sun, but she just feels so far from me. "Do you know if she'll get her memory back?"

He shake his head. "I don't know. Not many survive the cut."

I let out a sigh. Her smile will not be for me. Not any longer. The picture I hold in my mind would be the only thing I can keep. Maybe I will never be able to give her butterflies or bring a smile across her face. Memories are the only things I can hold on to.

"Is that the center of town?" Ezra asks as he points to a church spire.

"That's it."

"The walk was quicker than I thought."

"In winter it feels longer."

He gives a dry laugh. "I can imagine that. I heard stories that Hell froze over every winter. That it was bitterly cold."

"It is. But skating makes up for the misery."

"Do you not have an ice rink in town year-round?"

I scoff as I look towards the buildings growing near. As we approach them, the chipping facade is apparent. "Look around you. Do you think this town has money for that?"

"You have a point." He sighs. "I never realized the Commonwealth's were in this state."

"Well, now you know." I point to the small general store that I had often frequented. "We can get some supplies there." I hand him a few coins then rub my side with a grimace.

"Once we are in the Motherwealth, we can get the side of yours patched up quickly."

I would love that. The only question is whether or not the Motherwealth will take us back. "This should pay for the important things."

"Where are you going?"

My gaze shifts to a small bakery. "I'm going to get us a drink and a loaf of bread. Meet me here, in 15?"

His eyes hold concern.

I place my hand on his shoulder. I know the store owner. She avoids anything to do with the Motherwealth probably because she's been avoiding taxes for the last ten years. She won't report him. "You'll be fine. I'll be fine. Just don't make a scene. And don't talk much."

It isn't my intention to split up and leave him alone, but I don't want to waste any more time and there are other places to go. It only makes sense for him to go to one store and I go to the other.

"Alright. Anything I should know before I go in?"

"Just don't smile too much. They'll think your odd."

With that, I turn on my heals with a grimace.

I don't dare check my wound. But I do know it does not feel good. It hot and any movement sends pain through my body. I think it's still infected.

I walk into the small bakery. There were only a handful of times I walked into to this building before. There was never enough money to go to places like this. Pastries were a luxury that we couldn't afford. But with the small amount of coins I have, the pastries sound nice on the journey back, if we make it back.

"What can I do for you?" the man behind the counter asks as I walked in.

"Can I have two hot coffees, a loaf of bread, and a cheese curl?" I feel my mouth water at just the thought of the food. I place the remaining coins on the counter which the man take them without question. "You can keep the change."

He looks me in the eye, making sure I'm not joking. I would not joke about something as serious as this. "Are you sure?"

I nod as he gives a small smile then start working on the order.

"You look familiar. I've seen you walk the streets before, but I don't think I've seen you come into the shop."

"I have only come in a few times."

"What's the special occasion that brings you in today?"

"Just a reunion celebration."

He places the loaf of bread in a bag. "Well, that's swell! Who doesn't like a good celebration."

Thankfully he doesn't ask any more questions, also I am thankful I am forgettable. I guess news hasn't spread too far about me going to Regal for Talent Training Program.

The bell dings as the front door opens.

Too busy with watching the man behind the counter prepare the coffee, it isn't until I hear a familiar voice, making me turn towards it.

"Telvi?" a voice rings out.

My head snaps in the direction. I'm startled. Standing in front of me is Kazmier. His expression mirrors my own—concerned, shocked, and tired.

"Kazmier," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

He stands right beside me, his eyes never leaving mine. "I could ask you the same question."

A lump forms in my throat. There is a lot of explaining to do but honestly, now is not the time for that. Ezra will be finished at the store soon, waiting for me, and we have to leave to Regal as soon as possible to find Kol.

"What about your contract with the Motherwealth?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I think that contract is null in void with the war, don't you think?" I ask, trying to sound confident in my statement.

Kol and Kazmier were close. But to see him here without Kol, is a slap in the face. I would have thought Kazmier would have joined my brother in the war. If Kaz is here, why could have Kol just stayed with him? Why did he have to be so stupid?

He gives a slow nod. "You probably have a point there. I imagine you heard about Kol..." his voice trails off.

My chest tightens as I grip the side of the counter.

"He went to get you. To bring you home. Told me that you shouldn't be there any longer."

Tears welled in my eyes. If only I came a little earlier. He would still be here. I was too slow. A failure.

"I wish I could have joined him, but I work in the Amber mine. That is deemed essential. I couldn't get out of it even if I wanted to." He shakes his head.

"I'm trying to get him back. I'm going back to the capital to find him."

He grabs my hand in his and gives it a squeeze. "Kol is strong. He'll be okay."

I want to believe him, but the fear is overwhelming. I saw the bombs; I knew what damage happening in the Motherwealth. Kol could easily get stuck in the crossfire. My breath hitches. "What if something will happen to him? What if he gets hurt?"

"You can't think like that."

For a moment we are silent, the weight of the situation hangs heavily between us. I feel a tear slip down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away.

"I just want him to come home."

"Telvi, are you ready?" Ezra's voice rings out.

I meet Ezra's eyes as he steps into the bakery with a bag in his hands. His eyes hold questions, but he doesn't pose them.

"I am."

"Let's go then."

I give one last look to Kazmier before heading to the door with my drinks and other items in hand.

"Be safe," Kazmier says before I slip out.

That is my only goal. That and to bring Kol back home.