The dress faces me like a monster, ready to eat me alive. I rather it did. It would be the escape I need. Instead, I am forced to go to this party with Ezra's family. I haven't talked to him since he pushed me into the tube, otherwise I would have tried to get out of this. Going to a part full of Motherwealth people next to a person I do not trust sounds like a nightmare. What kind of trouble will he allow me to get into tonight? The thought sends shivers up my spine.

"Do you need help?" Eydis asks, knocking on the bathroom door.

I slip into the dress and attempt to zip it shut but am unsuccessful. "I need help," I say, cracking the door to face her.

"You do look breath taking in this dress," she says, zipping it up.

She is the one that convinced me to go to the party. I feel crazy for listening. She says I probably will never have a chance to see Motherwealth people like this in their natural habitat again. She insisted that it could be helpful to see how they lived. She spoke reason and I listened.

"Rember, you don't have to like him. You don't even have to enjoy his company," she reminds me, smoothing out the dress. There is a happiness in her tone. She liked that I am at odds with Ezra. She likes us on the same page. Honestly, I do to. "Just pay attention to how they live and tell me about it. No one ever does fun things like that on Campus. You have to be my eyes and ears."

I look at my reflection in the mirror as I try to smooth out my hair. It feels frizzier than normal. I want to cut it. It is too long. It just gets in the way.

"What if it's terrible."

She gives a smile. "Then you have something to talk about." She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. Her breath heats my cheeks. She towers over me but I don't mind looking up at her. She grabs my hands and stares into my eyes. It sets my heart racing. I will never get over how she makes me feel.

"I'm afraid Ezra is dangerous," I say.

I am fishing for her to tell me to stay. If she asks, I will gladly and stand him up. He should expect it anyhow.

She gives a humorless chuckle. "We live in the Motherwealth. Everything is dangerous." She shakes her head. "You will be fine. I am confident you will be."

That's not the answer I want.

"Just come back soon. I'll miss you." She cups my cheek, setting my skin ablaze under her touch. "I've held this to myself long enough."

I suck in a breath. I am unsure what she wants to say, but her mahogany eyes say it's serious. My heart is racing.

"Telvi, I'm in love with you."

My mouth falls open. I do not expect her to say that. Did I even hear her right? She loves me. Does she really mean that?

I stare into her eyes, trying to understand.

"I have been in love with you since you came with me on that morning walk. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. I don't want you to fall in love with Ezra because selfishly, I want you to fall in love with me."

Love is such a strong word. I love skating and I love Kol, but I never thought about loving anyone else, let alone another woman. People don't fall in love with the same gender in Hell. But does that matter to me? Do I love Eydis? I don't want to see her with anyone else. She makes my heart flutter every time we are together. The thought of her leaving campus is enough to knock me breathless. Is that what love feels like? Most importantly do I love her just like she loves me?

I close my mouth. It's as dry as a summer drought.

Her eyes sparkle with tears threatening to spill. All words fly from my mind. The silence is choking us. What can I say when she just poured out her soul? Nothing seems right.

"You should go, I'm holding you up," Eydis says as she brushes a tear from her cheek.

I nod. I am going to be late if I stay any longer.

A part of me hate that she said all this knowing I am about to leave. It was sprung on me. It caught me off guard and it gave me no time to work out anything to say. She deserves something.

Anything. Telvi, pull something out of our mind. You are capable of that. Nothing. Walter, Telvi. Why am I such a failure?

"This conversation isn't over," I manage to choke out. It sounds like a dying cat. I embrace her, holding her tighter than I have in the past. "I want to talk when I get back."

"I'll be here."

I walk out of the room feeling heavy. It feels wrong to leave. I shouldn't. But at the same time I feel like I need to. My head is spinning. I need fresh air; to clear my mind so I can be prepared to see her again. I will not come empty handed. There will be conversations.

My feet fly down the stairs and across the paths until I make it to the gate of campus.

I feel like someone punched my stomach. I'm breathless, sick, queasy, all at once. I don't want to be in the dorm, but I don't want to be at the gala. I just want to run away. Be by myself. Alone is safe.

Ezra locks eyes with me and waves as he stands by the gate. "You look stunning."

Any other time I would melt at those words, but I cannot think clearly. He might as well be talking to the sky.

"Thank you," I say. My response wooden.

He opens the gate then opens the back door to a shiny black car waiting for me, and I slip in.

"Telvi, it's good to see you again," Ezra's father says as he turns around in the front passenger seat.

I give a friendly smile, unable to utter anything else. I feel like I am in a den of snakes.

"Ezra was very excited to have to join us tonight. But we know how much training means to you so we won't keep you out too late."

"Thank you." I sound like a broken radio, echoing the same words over again.

The car drives off with a rumble and roar. It rattles as if something is loose in the engine, but no one says anything about it.

"I heard that you used a jumper the other day," his father says with a smirk.

My blood runs cold. He is mocking me. Ezra must have told his whole family how pathetic I was. My body is ridged. I wish I am somewhere else besides this car. I want to shrink into the cushions.

"Ezra said you loved it and handled it like a champ. I knew you would. It's like you were always meant to live here in the Motherwealth."

My eyes snap towards Ezra as he looks away. What game is Ezra playing at? That is not what happened. We both know it.

"I told Ezra to take you on a jumper. You see, not many Talents have that pleasure. We open our Motherwealth to them for some things but there are some things we keep off limits. They shouldn't have access to everything when they aren't even from here. Jumper's are only for our people."

"I feel so honored," I squeeze out of my mouth. It is a blatant lie and it sounds like it. I want to scream the truth but I don't.

The way he talked about 'their people'. It makes me sick. I am not one of them. I don't want to be.

"Alright Dad, enough talk. You don't want to run out of things to talk about before the gala even starts, right?" Ezra pips in.

But it is too late. The damage is already done. I will not forget about this car ride with them.

His father nods. "You're right. But good thing we are already here," he says as the car pulls in front of a massive white building with wide shiny pillars in the front. Spotlights hit the building, making it look even grander.

Ezra is the first to step out. He offers me his hand but I don't take it as I get out after him.

"Please excuse me, we will have to continue the conversation later," his father says before walking ahead to talk to a balding man.

"I'm sorry," Ezra says as we walk into the building. "My father. He thinks the Motherwealth is the best place on earth."

"And you don't?"

Ezra shakes his head in silence as we walk into a massive room full of paintings in gold frames. My attention shifts to the people wearing all kinds of outfits. Some I recognize from store windows, but others are completely different.

"Listen, my dad will want to use you to make a fool of the Commonwealths. I'm going to do all I can to prevent that," Ezra whispers as he takes two skinny glasses full of a clear liquid. He downs one and hands me the other.

My stomach clench up. I hold back a gag. The look of distaste on Ezra's face was apparent. It made me want to leave even more. Run far from this place and don't look back.

I shake my head at the glass. There is no way I can stomach anything right now. "Did he do that to Eydis?"

The muscles in Ezra's jaw tighten, making it even more sharp than it already was. "I wasn't as experienced as I am now."

Which means he has done this before, who knows how many times. How many other girls has he taken to these events? I am not special. I was just naïve, desperate for connection, and I ate into his. Just a sad lonely girl that fit the bill. Eydis warned me and I should have.

Ezra takes the extra glass and downs it. He then scans the room. His body is stiff, robotic. He want this night to be over and I do too.

"Telvi, come, I have a few people I want you to meet," his father calls out to me.

Franticly I look at Ezra for help. He frowns. That's my answer. He will not be much help. Instead, he guids me to his father.

"I'll do my best," Ezra whispers before we are in ear shot of his father and a group of people wearing sparkly bright outfits.

"Oh dear, I've been dying to see you after your skate a while back," a woman gushes. She holds my hands. His fingers are golden, a stark contrast against my pale ones.

She must have noticed me staring because she smiles. "You like my Amber dipped hands?"

Amber as a source of power. It is expensive and hard to get. My city was breaking it's back for this and she wore it like it is the newest fad. It takes all I have to remain silent.

"Yes, I know, It's expensive but when applied to the skin, it turns golden. It's absolutely stunning."

"Telvi is from the main Amber export commonwealth, aren't you Telvi?" Ezra's father asks.

I nod although my jaw is clamped shut. All the hard work my people do... The Motherwealth deemed it essential. For them just rub it on their skin. This is not essential.

"I knew it. See, I know a thing or two about the Commonwealths," the lady chirps. "So how do you find the Motherwealth? I'm sure it's a lot grander than anything in the simple Commonwealth."

My hands ball into fists. I have to be courteous, but they don't deserve that. It would do them good for them to hear truths. For someone to put them in their place. But I will not be me.

"Telvi, is enjoying her time. She loves spending her free moments with me," Ezra pips in.

"Oh, I can only imagine. You are the golden boy after all. All young women and men want to be with you. I'm just surprised you are with her. Is it a service project?"

"Not exactly." He smiles sweetly. "Now, if you excuse us, I would like to show Telvi the soda fountain." Ezra pull me away but it is a little too late. I wish he pulled me away sooner.

"Thank you," I whisper as we walk towards a fountain sprayed a green liquid into the air.

"Don't thank me yet. The night isn't over."

I wondered if I can hide in the bathroom for the next few hours. But I have a feeling that not even that can shield me from this night.

I wish I stayed on campus, with Eydis. Anything would be better than this.

________________

My mind is exhausted by time I make it back to campus. I fought every conversation with silence. They probably thought I was a mute. Ezra piped in where he could. It was enough to keep them happy. But the things he said I would never forget. Stupid, lazy, uneducated. Those were about the Commonwealths. My people. He spread misinformation, saying exactly what they wanted to hear. He said he was protecting me, but that wasn't protection. It made me feel small.

"I'm sorry," Ezra says as we walk to the dorms.

I fight back tears. This night was anything but enjoyable. I want nothing more than to rip this dress off my body and burn it. Maybe then I will forget about it and the gala.

Ezra stops at the front door of the dorm then grabs my hand. "Besides the terrible conversations, I was glad you came with me. You are truly a gem."

I shake from his grip as my gaze shifts towards the door. I am so close but yet so far from escaping this nightmare.

Ezra push my chin up to meet his eyes. He leans in closer and my eyes widen. He wants to kiss me after this? Does he think I owe him that? I pull back. My first kiss will not be with him. I promise myself that.

Ezra quickly realizes what I did and stops. He pulls back and pulled on his suit coat. "Well, um...." silence fills the space between us. "Thanks for going tonight." He looks towards the gates. "I do have to go."

That took him long enough to realize. "Of course. Goodnight, Ezra."

I still do not feel prepared to face Eydis. I feel like I have not thought enough about what to say, but I have a few things in my mind. She deserves so much. I fear I will disappoint her.

"Eydis, I'm back. Can we talk?" I ask as I open our door.

The room is black. Not even her little reading lamp is on. Figuring it is another outage, I flip the light on to test my theory. The lights come on, revealing Eydis' bed empty and made.

She never makes her bed, even on a good day. A pit forms in my stomach. Something is wrong and it is probably my fault. I swallow the lump in my throat as I try to keep calm. How could I be so stupid to leave without saying anything? She probably requested a room change.

"Eydis?" I ask, hoping she would appear out of no where.

Silence is the only thing in the room. It weighs me down, crushing me.

I wait in silence, hoping she will return. But she never does. With the passing of each second, fear takes a deeper hold. Where could she have gone?

The sun rose, shining into our window but I never slept. I spent all night, staring at her bed as if that would call her back, write any wrong that I did. If I could go back in time, I would have said more. I shouldn't have left without saying anything. I should have done everything different.