I pull on the tiny dress that is way too tight. It constricts my movements. It is suffocating. A dress like this isn't designed for someone like me. It is designed for someone bold, confident, someone like Constance who lives for the spotlight.

A shaky breath leaves my lips as I look at my reflection in the bathroom. This sparkly dress is terrible. I want to rip it off. It isn't enough that I have to skate in front of an audience, now I have to do it in such a tiny outfit.

"So let's see it," Eydis says as she taps on the door to the bathroom stall.

I shake my head. There is no way anyone would ever see this on me. "No."

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad."

I crack the door to peak out at her. But in the process, she sees my dress.

She squeals loudly, throwing herself into the small stall with me. Her eyes trace my figure, making her smile grow. "I knew it! It's so beautiful on you. It's stunning," she gushes, hoping my hands, jumping up and down.

The boldest colors, the tightest cuts, are things Eydis loves. Of course she likes this. But just because she likes it, doesn't mean I do. "There's nothing stunning about this."

She shakes her head causing her dark wavy hair to bounce. Even under indoor lighting, her hair seems to glitter, like it is made from dark gems. "You're wrong about that. Just look at that color on you and the cut. Goodness, it's times like this when I want nothing more than to watch you skate all day long. What a dream..."

Her words give me some confidence, at least enough to step out of the stall and look at myself in the full length mirror. No one in Hell would wear anything like this. It is too tight, too bright, too eye catching. But as I stared at myself, I notice how the dress hugs my body, showing curves that I didn't know I had. The color reflects off my skin, making it glow. The things I should hate, slowly turn into things that make the dress beautiful.

"You just need a little bit of makeup, but I can do that for you," she says as she plays with my hair. It was calming. The soft strokes reminds me of something my mom did. "And maybe a fancy little updo, highlight those sharp cheekbones you have."

Blush rises in my cheeks.

She drops my hair with a small frown. "I need to leave. No training today which means I'm going to an office. I can't be late," Eydis says as she makes her way to the door.

"If you have time, want to see my performance? I have an extra ticket," I say, mustering up the courage to say what I have been rehearsing ever since I received extra ticket last night. I wave the ticket in front of her. "They told me it would be a dinner and a show."

She smiles as she takes the ticket from my hand. "I would love to come."

I beam as I breathe a sigh of relief. Of course she would take it. I was worried about nothing. So silly.

"Great. The show is at 6 at the..."

"I know where these shows are held. I'll see you there." She places the ticket into her pocket and looks at the time on the wall. "But I must go now. For real. I cannot be late."

She gives one last smile before running out the bathroom.

It is time for me to go as well. Even though I still do not feel completely comfortable with the dress, I walk out of the bathroom, wearing the dress as proudly as I could.

Girls stop and stare as I pass them down the hall. I want nothing more than to melt away. This day cannot end fast enough.

I make my way to the rink in my dress as my coat flaps in the wind. Eyes are on me as I pass people on the walkway. The seedling of confidence Eydis gave me is now gone. Now more than ever, I wish to be invisible.

"Hey! Wow, looking great, Telvi," Ari says as he waves me over.

I pull my coat closer to my body, to hid myself.

"Don't cover it! Let it shine in the light. Like mine," he says as he unbuttons his coat, showing his show outfit. The crystals sparkled just like stars in the night sky.

"I like yours."

He smile. "Now let's see yours."

Let's not and say we did. He stands silently, waiting. He will not leave until I give him what he wants. With a heavy sigh, I take off the coat, allowing the light to hit the crystals of the dress.

"Stunning. Really stunning," he gasps then covers his mouth.

Before anyone else can see me, I slip the coat back over my shoulders and zip it up to my chin.

"You should be so lucky to get such a beautiful dress like this."

I wouldn't say this is luck. "It's not what I'm used to."

"Ah, you're from one of those conservative cities, aren't you?"

It never crossed my mind that Hell was conservative until I came to the Motherwealth. The clothes, the conversations, the relationships, it was completely different here. Nothing seemed wrong here. It was a free for all. I kind of like it. It was freeing not to be stifled.

"Well, lucky for you, Regal has no conservative bone in it's body. You will learn really quickly to blend in, you need to shed whatever shape Hell forced you to be." With that, he gets into a shiny black car, lugging his skate bag behind him.

I follow his lead as his words bounce around my mind like a rubber ball. Hell raised me, forced me to be the person I am today. But coming here, I found parts of me that I didn't know existed. Was Regal better for me? There were things about Hell I wished I could forget, shake loose. Maybe I could. But it is too soon to tell.

The next few hours pass in a blur. We are carted off to another side of town with larger buildings closer together. The ice rink is in one of those tall buildings, a few floors up. Skating in the clouds they called the event. It is unnatural and I try not to focus on how high I am up. I am not eternally grateful for Eydis coaxing me to the roof a few days ago. It was practice for this. Although I still do not feel very prepared.

If I try hard enough, I don't notice the height. Instead, I focus on the empty rows of seats in front of me. There has to be a least a thousand. Ari said they would all be full. All those people. All those eyes. That is enough of a distraction from the high. Although I am not sure what I am more afraid of...

If I wasn't already skating on an empty stomach, I would have lost whatever I had in it.

"Telvi, you look green," Ari says as he skates past me.

Great. Another thing to worry about. Makeup would have to cover that up. Thank goodness Ari said he would help.

This 'dress rehearsal' is supposed to help. I'm not sure if it will.

He skates up to me and places his hands on my shoulders. "Breathe. Just focus on the ice."

My eyes meet his. They are nearly black. So black I can get lost in them.

"How does the ice feel on your skates?" he asks.

It is smooth. It feels the same as it always does. My blades glide across the surface. It smells of stiff cold and there is a hint of cleaner I am not familiar with.

"It feels the same."

He cups my cheek with his hand and smiles. "That's all that matters."

______________________

The show is starting. I stand behind a shimmery gold curtain waiting to be announced.

Irena among others wanted me to skate first. It was my 'entrance into the Motherland' they called it. I didn't care what it was, I just wanted it to be over.

Go out. Skate my song. Leave.

It should be easy. At least I tell myself this.

My body shakes. From the cold or nerves, I don't know. The scanty dress is probably to blame.

I try to tell myself I can do this. The thing is, I am not sure I will ever be ready to skate in front of people, let alone under spotlights. They all want something grand, but I am not that grand. I am just a girl from Hell who can skate.

The announcer calls my name and with one last breath, I skate out into the crowd. I smile although it feels like a grimace. It probably is.

Under the bright spotlights, the cheers of the crowd fade. Franticly, my eyes dart among the audience. I see Irena looking at me, but Eydis is all that mattered. In the sea of unknown, this skate is for her.

Disappointment washes over me when I see her seat empty. She ditched me. It feels like a punch to my stomach. I want to run and cry but I am forced to stay and wave to the crowd.

Breathe.

It is just 4 minutes. I can do this.

I stop in the middle of the ice. I give one last glace, hoping to find her, but instead, I see Ezra.

When our eyes meet, his smile grows, and his cheering is all I can hear. He mouths something, but I was never good at reading lips.

"So Telvi, what are you going to preform today?" the announcer asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I turn towards him and suddenly everything I practiced flies from my mind.

Walter. What am I going to say?

He chuckles before turning to the crowd. "Looks like someone has a little culture shock."

The crowd laughs. It makes me want to flee. They want a show and looks like I'm giving it to them. The clueless girl from Hell. Laughable. Clueless. Useless. I am the comedic relief.

Pull it together, Telvi. You piece of trash.

"I'm skating to a love story that could never be," I manage to choke out.

"And you choreographed it?" he asks.

I nod. "With help of my coach, Irena."

"We all love what Irena creates. You should be great." He turns to the crowd. "Well, let's give her a round of applause and get the show started!"

The crowd erupts into cheers. The lights dim, hiding Ezra from view. He is there. I just need to remember that. He has seen me skate before. This would not be anything special. Forget about all the others. It was just him.

I take a breath and set up for my performance, raising my hands over my head. My heartbeat is the only thing I hear.

The music starts and I push across the ice with speed. Confidence is found deep within me as I push forward. Every spin, every jump, every move I make, I give it my all. It is just another practice. No need to worry. I know what I am doing.

Huffing and puffing, I complete the performance. It is flawless, even better than practices on campus. I did it and gave it my all. Hopefully that is enough.

As the lights slowly come back, the crowd comes into view. They are standing, cheering, clapping. All eyes are on me. I shrink just a little. My confidence vanishing. They watched me the whole time, judging me, comparing me to other skaters.

"Telvi, now that was a beautiful show you gave us. Really great job," the announcer says as he steps onto the ice, skating towards me.

I am going to be sick. It takes everything I have not to gag.

"Now, please be a dear and send out Ari. We do love him. He's such a charmer."

Free. Finished. Complete. I can go.

I nod then skate behind the curtain again.

"Great job, Telvi. That was amazing," Ari says. "I would have never known you were nervous." With that, he skates out to meet the crowd.

Ari's words do little to ease my stomach. In the privacy, I put my hands on my knees and gag. Thank the heavens I have barely eaten today. There is nothing to spit out. But that doesn't stop me from gaging again.

I skate to the wall and hang on. The world feels as if it is spinning.

"You skate like a bird. It's like you aren't actually skating, but flying. It's beautiful," Ezra says.

My head snaps up towards the direction of his voice. Quickly, I wipe the tears from my face then pull my guards over my blades, stepping off the ice to face him. There off the ice, dressed in a black and gold suit, he smiles at me. His golden hair is slicked back with a thick coat of gel.

"You should perform more often."

Not if I can help it. I do not want to feel like this again. Skating in front of others is not for me. It is torture. Tried it once and now it is time to move on.

Ezra chuckles. "You didn't like it?"

I shake my head as I heave in a breath.

"Well, I think the spectators have other things to say about that. I've seen countless skating performances but never heard such a loud applause from a show before."

"If- I- was- more comfortable, I could skate better," I say, between breaths.

He smirks. "Then show that to them next time. Like my father has told me before, 'practice makes perfect'."

I force a chuckle to humor him. "Yeah, maybe."

He steps closer and pulls on a small price of fabric attached to my dress. "My father thinks I'm in the bathroom. But I couldn't help but see you. All I thought about while I watched you was, 'wow, this is a goddess'."

His forwardness catches me off guard. A goddess. Me? Did he mean that? Never once had someone called me such a thing, let alone been so direct.

He moves closer to me. I can smell something savory and woody radiating off him. In the darkness of backstage, we are silent before he clears his throat. "Well, I should get back. Father will wonder why I'm taking so long."

"You can just say your pooping," I blurt out.

Walter, Telvi. This is why it is safer to stay quiet. Less chance to say such foolish things.

The darkness was greatly appreciated. It is used as a temporary shield from his gaze.

"That always takes longer in the bathroom." I am just making this worse. I should shut up. My cheeks are hot and all I want to do is to melt away and freeze into the ice.

He smirks as we hear applause ring out. "Maybe today is the day I'll use that as an excuse. Thanks for the idea."

I clamp my mouth shut. There is no way on this green earth I will say anything more.

Please leave and never remember this moment.

"I'll see you later."

I nod in silence and watch until he is out of sight.

My sickness is now over. All I can think about is how stupid I was. Way to open my big mouth and say something dumb. If he didn't take me seriously, he surely wouldn't now.

______________________

It is dark and late when I get back to the dorm. The awkward conversation with Ezra is now in the back of my mind. There were other things consuming it. Like how Eydis never came to the show. Never once did I see her there and that crushed me the most. She knew how much going would mean to me, yet she never appeared. I thought she cared about me. Clearly she doesn't.

As I walk into the dorm, I am surprised to see Eydis up reading a book in bed.

Her casual appearance and lazy smile causes my anger to boil. I wanted her at the show. No, I needed her. Instead, she picks her dorm room over me.

She opens her mouth, about to say something, but I cut her off.

"Where were you?" I ask. It sounds more like screech from a noisy bird.

Eydis frowns, getting up from her bed. "I'm so sorry, Telvi."

Sorry isn't good enough. "You knew how scared I was. I needed you there for support."

"I got caught up with work and I couldn't leave early enough to show."

"Did you even try?" I snap as tears well in my eyes. In a second I am taken back to Hell when my brother refused to go to the pond to watch me skate, claiming it was a waste of his and my time.

She shuts her mouth, and I wipe a tear from my face. Work is her priority, just like it is for Kol. I would always be last. That is my lot. But it is devastating. My heart is breaking. She is all I have but I guess I am not all she has.

"Telvi," she sighs.

But I have had enough of the conversation. Without saying anything more I crawl into bed and throw the covers over my head. The last thing I hear is Eydis whispering she's sorry.