Since I received Elmas money, out of my inheritance I have spent £9000 on a years rent upfront for my tiny apartment.

It I had my way, I'd be laid on a beach in Hawaii but my Dad is the strictest man to ever walk the earth and he insisted that I didn't spend a penny of the money unless I had too, that I had to save it for buying a house etc.

I suppose I could just do what I want, but he does have a point about being responsible and all that.

So it hasn't changed my life. I'm still me, still working in a crappy office weekend job with a load of bitches, still studying and still spending my evenings alone with my cat.

My cat, Dave, is the closest I get to any male company. I just can't do it, dating and all that shît. Being single sucks. Everything is aimed at couples, but I really hate dating. I'm terrible at it. It feels like you're selling yourself to someone and that's not exactly my strong point.

I wish you could just skip ahead to the bit where you're comfy around each other, but as it stands, I will die alone, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and cats.

***

Speaking of cats, it's Dave who starts the whole thing off.

Dave has a couple of really gross habits. People who say that cats are clean and prim have never met Dave. He's basically a teenage boy in an obese cats body.

Dave's first gross habit is cleaning his privates directly in front of me. He usually waits until I'm eating. No amount of cushion throwing will deter him.

His second gross habit is bringing in the remains of dead mice. Dave is far too fat to actually catch the mice himself, so he usually waits until next doors cats have finished with them before bringing them to me, which I suppose is the cat equivalent of recycling crap gifts.
He's oddly squeamish for a creature that will carry dead mice in it's mouth though, and he refuses to eat anything but homecooked chicken breasts or £3 tins of supreme cat food.

Dave usually leaves the half eaten mice for me, as if he knows that I spend more on his food than I do on my own and he's trying to help me out with 'fresh' meat offerings.

He's not always so clever about where he leaves them though and it's a hot Saturday morning when the smell is overpowering and I'm forced to drag out the washing machine and dryer in the hunt for half rotten mouse corpses.

And that's when I find it. Nestled next to the body of a decomposing mouse is a gold envelope with spidery writing scrawled across the front. It takes me a long minute to think about where I've seen it before, until it comes back to me. I brought it upstairs the day Elma died and I've never thought about it since.

I delicately pluck it from its resting place. It's not junk mail, it's handwritten and addressed directly to me. The envelope is heavy and inside is a neatly folded letter on gold card and a small leaflet.

I open the leaflet first. The background is an image of Cinderella dancing with Charming and over the top is thick gold lettering.

Are you tired of being single?

Wondering how many frogs you'll have to kiss before you find your Prince Charming?

Well, here's the thing.

There is no Prince Charming.

At least... Not using the old fashioned methods.
As it stands, you have one of two options. You either learn to compromise early on and spend your life hoping that you can keep hold of your partner, or you wait to see what's left and lower your standards.

Haven't you ever wished that there was someone out there who just 'got' you? Someone who seemed to have been specially made just for you?

Here at the Dream Factory, we cater to your needs.
Here you will find someone who grows exactly to your requirements, no compromise needed.

We are not a dating agency.
We are not an escort service.

We are the place where Dreams come true and romance is real.
100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

You will never find another match like Dream Factory match.

I roll my eyes as I scan the leaflet. Sounds shady af to me.

Dave is wiggling his fat backside and stealth stalking the dead mouse at my feet as I open the letter.

Dear Miss Davis,

I am delighted to inform you that you have been offered a place on our most recent program.

I have enclosed a leaflet within as an introduction to our services, although, I hope you will forgive me for sending you such a vulgar introduction. This leaflet is was an early marketing idea. Our product has improved immensely since the initial stage.

I'm sure you are reading this, (if I have held your attention sufficiently thus far) with several questions.
Of course, I do not expect you to turn up to the address above without me providing you with some answers.

1) What are we offering you?

Alas, this is the most difficult question for me to answer here, but also the most important one.
We are not a dating agency, nor an escort service, yet we do offer to provide you with a partner who is completely designed to meet your every desire. If we fail in this mission, not only do we offer to reimburse any fees you may pay, we also offer you £1000 compensation.
As for the product we offer, the only way for me to completely describe it is to show you, all I can tell you is that you will not find any easier or more successful way of meeting a partner, be it via dating apps, nightclubs or blind dates.

2) Why have we chosen you?

This is not a spam letter, please do check with your neighbours and friends to see if they have received a copy. I assure you, they will not.
Several elements have gone into choosing each applicant. Age, education, financial status and use of dating apps.

Please be aware, regardless of you choosing to use our services or not, we will not share your personal details with anyone outside of the Dream Factory.

You have been chosen from a small pool of people in your local area to test the end stage of our product over the course of a year. You are not signing up for anything, just monthly reports over a 12 month period.
The product, when complete, will cost many thousands of pounds and will, sadly, only be available to those who can comfortably meet the cost. You can trial it for almost free.
All I can completely promise you is if that if you agree, you will be walking away from our offices with your ideal partner, a man/woman that is designed to match you perfectly.

I hope I have awakened your interest. As further prove of our honest intentions, you may bring any friend, male or female, along to your initial meeting. Please do not bring more than 1 person inside the factory as in certain areas it is important that the atmosphere is disturbed as little as possible. The reasons for this will become clear on your tour of our factory.

This letter has a 12 month date before it becomes invalid.

With the very best of wishes,

Dr P. Henderson

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.

Dave leaps on the dead mouse and misses completely, hitting my foot instead.

It sounds creepy... But I'm curious.

According to the date at the top of the letter, I only have two days to decide anyway.

*

Dedicated to navySKITTLES thanks so much for reading my stories 💖