Setting: TWS

You stood at the opposite end of the cold room, struggling to remain as silent and still as every other person in the room—including him.

He was not there, though. He was not present.

You'd seen this look before; James was doing something that Hydra had so desperately tried to prevent him from doing. He was doing something that, up until now, Alexander Pierce had not yet seen him do before.

James was remembering.

You knew it had something to do with fighting Steve Rogers on the bridge. All it took was Steve to look him in the eyes and say, 'Bucky.' It was that simple.

Or was it?

He was struggling—maybe even fighting to recall who Steve was. You couldn't be certain, but you had a feeling, and your feelings about James were never wrong.

"Mission report, now." Pierce's voice caused you to tear your gaze away from James.

Your breath caught in your throat as Pierce bent down, eye level with James, and struck his cheek with his hand. Another agent looked over at you briefly, eyes narrowed as if studying your facial expression.

You avoided looking back at him and instead adjusted your grip on your gun. Never in a million years would you use it on James; you weren't even a part of Hydra—really.

You were there for James. You were the only one with inside knowledge of The Winter Soldier and Hydra's past and potential future with him. You were at an advantage to help him, which was exactly why Nick Fury had contacted you months ago, along with several other trained agents.

You wanted to help; you truly did. The only issue was there were risks you were taking every second you spent working under Hydra, and each of these risks could have ultimately led to your death.

If Hydra found you out, you'd be dead. If anyone outside of Hydra put up a fight, you could end up dead. Not even Captain America himself knew the information that Nick Fury knew; Steve had no idea who you were and you intended to keep it that way until you could help James.

"That man on the bridge," James spoke, his voice cracking, "Who was he?"

Worry lines were etched into his forehead, his eyes sad. You swallowed and shifted on your feet, watching him closely, carefully.

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment." Pierce replied, determined not to allow James to have even the slightest piece of a memory.

It was silent for a moment before James looked at you. Usually he was hard to read, but not now—not for you. It was almost as if he was asking you if he knew him—if he knew Steve.

No one looked at you; they kept their eyes on James in case he had another outburst as he had moments before Pierce came in the room.

You nodded, even though you knew it was dangerous. The desperation in his eyes made you do it. You couldn't ignore him.

Pierce sat in front of James, exhaling a breath he must have been holding, "Your work has been a gift to mankind."

James glanced at you again and your eyes locked for a split second.

"You shaped the century," Pierce continued, "and I need you to do it one more time."

James' eyes wandered around the room, but you knew there wasn't anything particular he was looking at. He was thinking—remembering.

Pierce continued to talk, but you didn't hear him. You were too busy trying to think of a plan to get James out of there. This exact moment was both the best time and the worst time for James to make an escape.

He'd be leaving with whatever memories he was able to recollect. That was a starting point, and from there you could build.

However, you were alone on this. You were the only one working for Fury in the room at the time. You all had been working on this for only a few months; no one had expected to get James out this soon. There was no way to tell the others. There was no chance of you getting out of there alive; there was no chance Bucky was getting out of there today.

It would have to wait.

". . .and Hydra can't give the world the freedom it deserves." Pierce finished, finally catching Bucky's attention.

"But I knew him."

It broke your heart. It shattered you. To see James this way was hard, even if you never knew him before Hydra. You knew enough to know that Hydra had destroyed a good man; they'd broken him.

James looked at you as Pierce stood up and this time, Pierce did, too. You froze up, though you had already been standing still, as Pierce turned to face you.

"Don't think I haven't noticed that he's been looking at you." Pierce's voice was cold.

"Sir?" You asked, trying not to break a sweat.

It wasn't like you hadn't thought about getting found out; you had. And each scenario ended up in you laying in a puddle of your own blood.

"Miss [Y/L/N], how long have you been working for me?" He cocked his head to the side, scrutinizing you.

"Four months." You replied.

"And why haven't I noticed this before?" Pierce didn't even blink.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you mean by that, sir."

"In a room full of people, all clad in the same black uniforms, all holding guns in case Barnes here gets out of line. . .he looks at you. Why is that?"

Maybe it was because you'd worked with James before, one-on-one. You'd never come out and told him who you were working for, but he somehow knew something. He knew you weren't trying to hurt him. He knew you saw him differently than everyone else did.

"She reminds me of someone." James spoke up, surprising Pierce, and you.

"What?" Pierce turned back around sharply. "Prep him." He said, not even giving James another second to speak.

"He's been out of cryo-freeze too long," one of Pierce's men replied.

"Then wipe him, and start over." Pierce replied simply, his eyes not leaving James'.

You were only somewhat relieved that James had taken Pierce's attention away from you. You were more concerned now that they were going to wipe James again, and any memories he may have pieced together would be gone again.

James knew what he was doing; he knew what he was giving up as he was pushed back in his chair. His eyes found you again as a mouth piece was put in his mouth.

Then, you, along with others, were then escorted away from the room. The second your eyes left his and the door sealed shut behind you, you could hear his screams of pain and you winced at the sound.

I'll get out out of there, you thought to yourself, I promise.

And even though James could not hear the promise you made to him, you still have every intention to make sure you kept it.

_____

I'm so sorry that I have not updated in so long. I'm not going to make excuses, but basically it's just been because of college and lack of motivation. I'm trying to get back into my writing; it might just take me some time to find the right words. I love you guys and miss reading your comments.
— Mar