26. Human
• • •
Setting: After TWS (AU aka not during Civil War)
"I'm coming." Bucky repeated himself for the tenth time since he'd entered the quinjet.
"No, you're not." Steve replied yet again as he handed you one of your hand-guns.
You took the gun in your hand, turning it over several times to inspect it. This would be the first mission you'd gone on with Steve; usually, you assisted Clint. However, this time was different for one reason only. . .the mission was to take out a squadron of Hydra agents that had flown into New York, most likely to get Bucky back. Bucky couldn't assist on the mission for two reasons: one, he hadn't fought since he was fighting for Hydra several months prior, and two, he was finally remembering his old life and if Hydra were to take him into their custody again, he would be wiped and transformed back into the Winter Soldier.
"I'm ready for this. Please, Steve, you know I can do this." Bucky pleaded, his jaw clenching.
"You're not, Bucky. There's a reason why you can't come on this mission, and I need you to trust me when I say that you're not ready." Steve stopped bustling about the quinjet to grasp his friend's shoulder.
You watched them as you slid the hand-gun into your belt. You felt bad for Bucky; he'd been working hard to rid himself of all things Hydra--to become the man he used to be before they brainwashed him--but to go on the mission could be the equivalent of handing him over to Hydra. It was too risky.
"It's Hydra, Bucky." You blurted out, watching his eyes turn a shade darker--colder.
"What?" He asked as Steve shot a glare at you for telling him.
"We're going to take down some of Hydra's agents. We think they're here for you." You swallowed, watching Bucky stare at you.
Bucky didn't say anything as he pushed Steve aside and took a seat on the quinjet, one of his guns across his lap.
"Bucky," Steve tried, looking over at you and back at Bucky.
"I'm going." Bucky stated, his cold eyes fixated on the gun in his lap.
"But--" You were going to object, but when Bucky looked up at you, you stopped.
The pain and rage in his eyes prevented you from speaking any further.
"This isn't your call, (Y/N). It isn't Steve's either." Bucky exhaled through his nose deeply, "If anyone is facing Hydra, it's going to be me. I'll show them how dangerous they made me."
You glanced over at Steve, sucking in a breath through your gritted teeth. Steve stood still for a minute, looking at Bucky. He then took the pilot's seat without saying another word, and the three of you departed the Tower.
"(Y/N)," Bucky said, breaking the silence that had lasted a majority of the flight.
"Yeah?" You asked from your seat, looking up from your hands to find Bucky already staring at you.
"Do you believe in me?" He asked quietly, almost as if he didn't want Steve to hear.
His eyes were lighter than they'd been before, his expression soft.
"Wh-what?" You asked, thrown off by his question.
"Do you believe in me?" He asked again, almost desperate for an answer.
I always have, you thought. It was Steve who didn't think you were ready, not me.
You couldn't bring yourself to say it, though. Somehow, you thought it would give everything away. The feelings you felt towards Bucky had to be hidden at all costs; you couldn't afford to mess up this mission, let alone your entire friendship with the man. You made a great team, and you were afraid that was how it was going to have to stay.
"I'm not sure what you're asking." You lied, looking down at your hands where they fidgeted in your lap.
Bucky watched your actions before looking at your eyes again, "You're lying to me."
"No," you choked out only to be interrupted.
"You don't believe in me. It's okay, I understand why." He breathed out, leaning back in his seat.
Your lips parted to speak, only the words never fell past. Instead, you felt yourself being hurled forwards; something had hit the jet. Your body slammed into the floor and you groaned in pain. Bucky also was thrown from his seat, and now pulling himself off of the floor to help you.
"You guys okay back there?" Steve shouted from the cockpit as beeping sounded from the front of the quinjet, signaling that something was failing.
"Yeah, we're fine!" Bucky yelled back, getting to his feet again.
His metal arm reached out, and you grabbed his hand, hoisting yourself up.
"Hate to say it Steve," you mumbled loud enough for him to hear, "but Clint's a better pilot than you." You joked, knowing it wasn't Steve's fault.
"What happened?" Steve yelled, waiting for Maria Hill's voice to come through to the quinjet with some sort of coordinates as to where the hit came from.
"My guess is that Hydra has come out to play," Bucky forced a fake chuckle as he pulled a parachute on his back.
"What are you doing, Barnes?" You asked, watching him strap the parachute on.
"Winning the game." Bucky replied with a smirk, pressing the button that opened the back of the quinjet.
"Bucky! This isn't part of the plan!" Steve yelled, putting the quinjet into autopilot and turning to see what Bucky was doing.
"The mission is to take out their group; you can't do it alone!" You shouted over the sound of the wind that now filled the cabin.
"Watch me." Bucky said before jumping.
"I'm going down!" You yelled to Steve as you grabbed another parachute.
"You've gotta be kid-"
You didn't get to hear the rest of what Steve had to say, but you knew he was going to give you a hard time about this later. As you descended through the air, your eyes found Bucky. He was a couple dozen feet below, approaching the ground fast.
A loud sound caused your heart to race; you knew it was the sound of the quinjet taking another hit. You hoped Steve had kept the jet on autopilot and was somewhere above you in the sky, but it was unlikely of him. He wouldn't leave the jet unattended, especially with Hydra shooting at it. The risk of it crashing down on the city below was too great of a risk--one that Steve wouldn't take if he had a choice.
Bucky's parachute opened, as did yours when you neared the ground. Bucky landed several yards away from you, but you unhooked your parachute and dropped it before running over to where Bucky was.
"Think he'll be pissed?" Bucky asked as he saw you.
"Definitely." You replied, "Now, let's go."
As you and Bucky prowled through the streets, you kept an eye out for anyone who could be working for Hydra. Maria had warned you and Steve that they had at least a dozen agents that had flown in, but you knew there was a possibility of others who had never left the states after the Battle of D.C.
Bucky walked ahead of you, his gun in hand. People stared and some even gasped, retreating into shops and restaurants around you. You pulled your brows down in confusion; the 'A' patch on your suit should have been enough to inform the civilians that you were an Avenger. Why were they scared?
It was then that you realized; they were not afraid of you. They were afraid of Bucky.
Since he hadn't been assigned to the mission, he hadn't been given a new suit. He still wore his Winter Soldier uniform, which triggered memories of the mayhem he had caused in Washington D.C. Bucky also must have noticed this, because you could see the way he walked change--as if he was ashamed.
"It's okay, Bucky." You assured him, your eyes fixated on his back. "Don't be--"
Bang! You pulled your gun out of you waistband in a flash, turning towards the direction the gunshot had come from. Luckily, the bullet had missed you and hit the parked car to your left instead; however, now you knew everyone in the streets was now in danger.
"Everyone, take cover!" You shouted, shooting at the fourth floor window of one of the enormous industries on your right.
The sniper inside shot back, but you ducked and rolled behind another parked taxi. Bucky jumped up on the taxi and began shooting at the man, his limp body falling from the window. Crowds of people screamed as his body his the concrete below, blood pooling around him.
You stood up, looking around as you caught your breath. You spotted a little girl in the road; she was chewing on her nails and frantically looking around. Jogging her way, you caught the attention of another Hydra agent. You took him down with two bullets and finally reached the child.
"Who are you with?" You asked quickly, taking her hand and dragging her over to the sidewalk.
"My mommy." The girl answered, tugging on one of her braids.
"Do you know where she is?" You asked, glancing around.
There were enormous crowds of people running through the streets as the sounds of Hydra and Bucky shooting at each other caused panic. You could see how easily it would have been for her to get separated from her mother, and despite wanting to help Bucky, you knew what you had to do.
"I don't know, she was--" The girl stopped as her words turned into a scream, her eyes landing on something behind you.
You turned just in time to see Steve's shield striking a Hydra agent in the head, inches away from you. Your head snapped towards his direction, Steve coming into view.
"You're late," you said, a smile tugging at your face.
"Sorry, had a jet to land, y'know." Steve replied, raising his hand as his shield hurled back to him.
"Get to work," you rolled your eyes, looking back at the little girl.
"Charlotte!" A woman came rushing over to the girl.
"Are you her mother?" You asked, releasing the girl's hand.
"Yes, yes. Thank you!" The woman said frantically, scooping her daughter up.
"Stay out of the streets; take a subway if you can." You said before jogging back towards Bucky.
"Where the hell have you been?" Bucky asked, glancing at you before hopping down off of the roof of the taxi.
"Busy." You replied, reloading your hand-gun.
"Excuses." He said before charging at another agent, his metal arm knocking the gun out of the man's arm; he swung at his face, knocking the agent out with one punch.
"Nice arm," a Russian voice came from behind you and Bucky, causing the two of you to turn around.
The man was dangerously close and he had a gun aimed right at your head.
"I have your men to thank for that." Bucky spat, eyeing him closely.
"You'll have plenty of time to thank us," the man smirked, inching closer to you two.
Your own gun was raised at him, though you knew if you shot at him, he'd be able to shoot back before the bullet reached him.
"Put the gun down," Bucky said from behind you, his voice cold.
"You first," the man replied.
You let out a breath, your finger moving to the trigger of your gun. Before you could pull it, your gun was shot out of your hand by a bullet from the left. You remained perfectly still, knowing that running wasn't going to save you in this situation.
The agent reached out, his gun still pointing at you, and he pulled you into a headlock. You allowed him to do so, but only because you had seen Steve ducked down behind a car in the distance.
"Let her go," Bucky warned, his own gun pointing at the agent.
"Hand yourself over, and I'll think about it," he replied, pressing the barrel of his gun against your temple.
Your heart beat quickened as you waited for something to happen; of course, you didn't think the man would actually shoot you, nor would Steve or Bucky allow him to do so.
You stared at Bucky, his eyes fixated on the man as he lowered his gun. You swallowed, not expecting Bucky to give up so easily. Several Hydra agents revealed themselves from the sides of the street and rushed over to Bucky, snatching his gun away from him and huddling around him.
Where are you, Steve? You thought, watching as Bucky disappeared from your sight and instead was replaced by Hydra agents.
"You said you'd let her go!" Bucky yelled from the mob of Hydra agents surrounding him.
"You really think I'm a man of my word, Mr. Barnes? I'm afraid I'm not Captain Ame-" The man was unable to finish his sentence because of your actions.
You slammed your head back into his chest; he pulled the trigger, though the barrel was inches away from your face and shot the pavement instead of you. The sound of the gun caused your ears to ring, blurring any other sounds around you. The man stumbled back, allowing you to grab the gun out of his hands and turn the tables around on him.
Just then, Steve revealed himself and hurled his shield at the agents surrounding Bucky. He took two out, which distracted the others and gave Bucky the opportunity to break free of their hold on him. He punched one other before picking his gun off the ground and shooting two more. Steve ran over, picking up his shield and knocking out the last agent with his fist.
Meanwhile, you were occupied fighting the man who had held you in his grip just minutes ago. The gun you'd gotten from him was out of bullets, which put you in a tough spot.
"Last bullet was meant for you, sweetheart." His accent was thick, and he spat blood out from where you'd decked him in the lip.
"Well, you missed," you replied, ducking on of his punches.
You propelled yourself off of a nearby car, allowing you to kick him in the jaw before landing on one knee.
"And don't call me 'sweetheart.'" You added as he fell to his knees.
You began walking towards Bucky and Steve where they stood in the street with half a dozen Hydra agents either groaning or dead around their feet.
"You're not going to kill me, sweetheart?" The agent asked, wiping blood from his lip.
"No," you replied, glancing over your shoulder at him, "he is," you looked at Bucky who was now walking past you towards the agent.
"You took everything from me." Bucky growled as he circled the man, his gun tightly in his grip.
"You were our best weapon," the agent replied, watching Bucky walk around him.
"Not anymore." Bucky stopped behind him, pressing the barrel of his gun into the back of the agent's head.
The agent stared at the ground in front of him, still on his knees, "Go ahead, kill me. You cut off one head, two more shall take its place."
"If that's the case," Bucky pulled the trigger and the agent fell forward, blood pouring from his forehead into a pool around him, "I'll cut off those heads, too."
You felt your breath hitch in your throat; you'd never seen Bucky so hostile--not since you'd watched the footage of the Winter Soldier fighting Steve, Natasha, and Sam. Even then, that wasn't Bucky.
You could tell Steve was surprised, too, by looking over at him. Bucky stood still for a moment, staring down at the body. You watched him, and as you walked closer to him, you could see he was shaking.
"Bucky?" You asked, but he didn't seem to hear you.
You stood there for a moment before moving your hand over his, causing him to drop his gun. He tore his eyes away from the body to look at you, his hair falling in his face. You could see how much he was hurting just by looking into those clear, blue eyes of his.
You nodded before speaking, "I do believe in you, Bucky." You said, answering the question he had asked you on the quinjet.
He nodded, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he squeezed your hand with his flesh one.
"Come on, team. Let's go home." Steve exhaled, placing his shield on his back.
You looked over at the Captain, nodding. You intertwined your finger's with Bucky's as you began following Steve down the street to where you assumed he had landed the jet.
"I'm sorry," Bucky said quietly to you, his eyes still fixated on you.
"Don't apologize, Buck." You answered, looking at him.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because," you looked at Steve's back again, "you didn't do anything wrong."
Whether or not you believed what you had said, you knew Bucky needed to hear it. You almost had a guilty conscious for not killing the man yourself; you'd let Bucky do it. And now he was questioning himself. He wasn't sure if he could consider himself a hero; he killed people.
"Maybe I'm nothing more than the assassin they made me. Instead of killing for them now, I'm just killing them." Bucky exhaled, causing Steve to glance over his shoulder at him. "What does that make me?"
Steve stopped in the street, causing you and Bucky to stop behind him. He turned to look at the two of you, his eyes then fixating on Bucky. He grasped Bucky's shoulder firmly, his expression soft.
You looked between him and Bucky, your heart aching to see Bucky so distraught. Your feelings for the man ran so deep that you were sure you could feel his pain.
"What does that make me?" Bucky repeated himself, his voice cracking.
"Human."
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