Taehyung stared at Jimin with a blank expression. He stopped walking mid hallway and didn't move an inch. Almost like he was frozen in time.

Jimin waited and waited until his impatience made him speak. He was even more flustered now, "Did you hear me?"

"You like Yoongi?" He repeated.

"I—" Jimin felt like his breathing was off. The knot in his stomach grew bigger making it hard for him to speak.

"I think I do." He finally choked out.

"No, no, thinking and knowing are two different things. Trust me, I know I've hurt Jungkook for thinking I was over my ex when I wasn't."

Jimin sighed massaging the back of his neck. It ached. The whole world was literally on his shoulders or at least that's what it felt like to him.

"I don't know, okay? I don't know. I fucking kissed him and now I can't stop thinking about it, but then Chanyeol asked me out and today he asked me again so I said yes but now I think I fucked up and—fuck. It's complicated."

Taehyung shook his head, "Fucking hell. I should've waited for my lunch break." He murmured as he continued walking. He made sure to eye the hallways extensively in hopes to not encounter Yoongi.

If he told Jimin that they would talk later it would drive him insane. He'd go do something stupid and impulsive like call Yoongi and tell him or break things off with Chanyeol without being sure.

The last time he had a mental breakdown he got his nipples pierced. There was no telling what he would do this time.

"I know. I know. I fucking know. Where the fuck is the alien hiding? All I need is for it to piss on my leg!"

"Alien piss won't solve this issue. You know it's almost like I don't know, I told you fake dating him was a bad idea because feelings would get involved." Taehyung's voice was condescending.

Jimin tugged on his shirt guilty. He hated to admit it but Taehyung was right. He did warn him and now he was in deep shit.

"I broke things off with him months ago. You know, fake dating."

"Yet you kissed him. I'm assuming this is recent?" Taehyung asked, opening up a door. He walked in the room and peeked inside the storage room.

"Well—"

Taehyung pressed his finger against his own lip to stop him from talking. He stood by the entrance as his friend peeked everywhere.

"Go on. I wanted to make sure he wasn't hiding  here." He said after a few minutes.

"It was recent. I went out to drink with my classmates and—" he stopped talking as soon as he saw the disapproval on Taehyung's face. "I know. I drunk too much because I saw a text on Chanyeol's phone. I assumed he was dating someone and I was impulsive."

"So you ended up kissing Yoongi because of that?"

Jimin nibbled the inside of his cheek. He ran several responses in his head but all of them were fucking awful. He pressed his hand over his stomach because it was still in a huge knot.

"Hmm." Taehyung said after Jimin didn't reply.

"I didn't mean to hurt him—I—I like Yoongi. I do. He's attractive, he's sweet, he's—but I like Chanyeol too."

"You have to make a choice. Clearly you've made yours."

Jimin inhaled sharply. He needed to hear this however that didn't make it any easier on him. "I don't think...I didn't mean this to happen."

"Well, it's not fair for Yoongi to be your second option. Have you ever thought about how he truly feels?"

"I wanted to tell him. After I spoke to him he told me to forget it. That it didn't mean anything. I was too embarrassed to tell him how I truly felt so I left it at that. Then Chanyeol asked me out and it's what I've been wanting since the program started..." Jimin's voice trailed off.

Taehyung sighed, wrapping his arm across his shoulder. He was upset that Jimin's indecisiveness was affecting Yoongi but Jimin was his friend too.

"I know it's hard to admit how you truly feel. I know that you're afraid to ruin your friendship but let's be honest here. Was it ever a normal friendship amongst you two? It started off as a lie, a game to deceive his family. Yoongi is a sweet guy but he's naive. I can't blame him because his whole life he's been trapped in hospitals. He doesn't know about love. So in my opinion your interaction did mean something to him. He's too afraid to admit it because he knows how you feel about Chanyeol."

"What do I do then? I fucked everything up. I don't want to hurt Chanyeol either. He's been so sweet and I just—"

Taehyung could see Jimin was about to have a breakdown. He gripped his shoulder tightly, "Hey. I think you need some sleep. Don't speak to either of them right now. Think things through and then speak. We know what your impulsivity has gotten you."

Jimin's nausea worsened. The thought of hurting Yoongi or Chanyeol was sickening. How could he fix this when it meant breaking someone's heart?

"Come on. I have to keep looking for him."

While the two were walking in the hallway, Yoongi was coming out of a cleaning supply closet. Taehyung was taking longer than usual, so he grew impatient and started overthinking his hiding spot.

When he was about to come around the corner he heard Taehyung's voice. Out of panic he stepped back and walked into the nearest men's restroom he could find.

There were several stalls there, the very last one with a big 'out of order' sign stuck to the door. He ran there and opened it up.

The stall seemed clean enough so he shut the toilet seat and sat on it bringing his feet up. Next he cut his oxygen off and hoped that Taehyung wouldn't find him or that his lungs wouldn't overwork themselves from the adrenaline.

"I don't know if I can wait—"

"Shh."

Yoongi froze. For a second, he thought he heard Jimin's voice but it couldn't be. It was a Wednesday and he rarely went on a Wednesday.

Plus, if he was here he would've texted him right? Yoongi fought the urge to check his phone because what if he missed it? He couldn't move or he'd be caught.

So he pressed his hand over his nose and mouth since his breathing had started picking up. The footsteps were getting closer. He heard as Taehyung opened up the doors one by one.

When he was on the stall next to him he closed his eyes expecting him to get his door next but then someone spoke up.

Jimin to be exact. This time Yoongi was certain it was him. He reopened his eyes again, curious at what they were discussing.

"You peeked under the stalls from over here and there is no one here. That one is out of order."

"It doesn't hurt to check." Taehyung said, pressing his hand on the door.

Yoongi's eyes widened, ready to be defeated. Not only losing in hide and seek, but losing the advantage to know what they were discussing.

He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop and yet his curiosity was bigger than his morals. Taehyung sighed, stepping away from the stall.

"Tae, I really don't know what to do here. I'm at a loss. Who do I choose?"

Yoongi's heart skipped a beat. Could he be referring to him? Was Jimin actually doubting his feelings for Chanyeol? Was that why he kissed him?

The butterflies flooded his throat before he could prohibit himself from getting his hopes up. He found himself smiling stupidly at the bathroom door in front of him.

If only he could see him. Touch him and tell him he felt the same. If only—

"Jimin, you've already made your choice. Otherwise you wouldn't be going on a date with Chanyeol."

In a matter of seconds, Yoongi crumpled. His smile faded and the butterflies drowned as he swallowed down the lump in his throat.

Suddenly, his lungs withered, atrophying inside of him. He put his hand over his chest and heart like he could physically touch it.

It ached. He was ripped opened and it just fucking hurt. His body went numb and cold as harsh as the winter approaching them.

He waited until they walked back out. Something else was said but Yoongi was too far gone to catch what Jimin's response was.

He didn't know if it was his own self mechanism trying to protect him from further despair or if it was the lack of oxygen.

Maybe both.

After he was sure they left, he turned his oxygen back on. His hand was shaky as he adjusted his cannula.
The oxygen he inhaled was overwhelming. Filling his lungs up and only causing him to ache more. Without the oxygen he at least felt a little numb.

Now that his body has enough oxygen to keep his bloodstream adequately saturated the dull pain was even worse.

Always the second option. Wanted but not loved.

He gripped his hair until it stung his scalp because those cursed words circled inside of him like a swarm of hornets. They stung. Bounced in his brain from left to right. Feeding on his insecurities and self loathing.

If he were normal then maybe he'd have a chance. If he could get out of the hospital then maybe things would be different. Things had changed for Hoseok. Why couldn't they change for him too?

Eventually, he brought his feet down to the floor. His legs and feet tingle from the lack of circulation from sitting that long.

He opened the door and started walking out. As he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror he didn't bother to fix his messy hair.

There were no tears in his eyes, but he could feel them bottling up and he knew eventually he'd burst. Possibly have another ranging breakdown like the one he had in front of Taehyung.

Either way, he was glad to not be crying. Jimin was still around and the last thing he needed was another pity party.

When he was back in the hallway he stopped abruptly. Taehyung's voice was near. He quickly got back in the cleaning supply closet and closed the door as quietly as possible.

Now he really didn't want to be found. Ever. How could he look at Jimin knowing he was going out with Chanyeol? Knowing that he could effortlessly fall in love with the model soon to be a pediatrician?

It made sense that they would end up together. Both of them were attractive, smart and had similar goals in life. Yoongi was none of that.

His looks were homely compared to Chanyeol's. He was brittle, thin, oxygen dependent with no future at all.

He had his face against the wall with his eyes closed. The closet was dark and cold. The light smell of Clorox was somehow comforting.

Always the second option. Wanted but not loved.

He gritted his teeth angry at his mind for reminding him of something he already knew. Next thing he knew, something touched him.

A loud gasp escaped his lips and the person in front of him almost screamed, but Yoongi pressed his hand over his mouth.

"Yoongi?" Jimin mumbled.

Yoongi's hand pulled away from him, his mouth slightly twitching. He was glad they were in the dark otherwise Jimin would've seen his pity face.

"What are you doing here?" He whispered.

"I—Taehyung was looking for you and—"

"You were looking for me too?"

"I was." He responded quietly. "But then I sort of got anxious and—I needed to be alone."

Yoongi kept quiet. Though he couldn't see his face, he knew Jimin was hurting too. He could hear it in his voice.

Jimin was suffering because he didn't want to break his heart. In a way, that made Yoongi feel slightly better. It meant that Jimin truly cared for him, but it also made him bitter to know who he had chosen.

Would things be different if Yoongi would've confessed to Jimin what he truly felt about that night? He felt so embarrassed to admit that Jimin was his first kiss and first love that he let his insecurities speak for him.

Now it was too late.

"Do you feel better now?" Yoongi asked. He could tell that Jimin was heartbroken too. In that instant, he forgot about his own pain and thought of Jimin.

At least one of them deserved to be happy. Eventually Yoongi would move on right? This pain wouldn't last forever but the guilt Jimin felt could.

"A little." He responded with a shaky breath.

"Yoongi I—"

"I hear Taehyung." He interrupted pressing his cold finger over his mouth.

Jimin didn't move. His eyes were wide open trying to make his face out in the darkness. The hallway light was slowly creeping from underneath the door so he could see his shadow.

When the footsteps walked by. Yoongi slowly removed his finger from his lips. They remained silent for a few seconds.

The silence was asphyxiating Jimin. He stepped back suddenly feeling like the room was too small for the both of them.

Then accidentally stepped over some empty boxes and slipped back. Yoongi reached over trying to catch him before he fell but it was too late. He lost his balance too, falling on top of him. He landed in between Jimin's legs and Yoongi barely had time to put his hands down to not completely fall over him.

Jimin's arm scraped against the corner of the boxes. Their breathing got hectic. The room was still dark and so quiet that Jimin wondered if he could hear his heartbeat.

"Are you hurt?" Jimin asked.

Yoongi couldn't process his thoughts while laying on top of Jimin. It brought back memories of that night. Feeling his muscular solid body underneath him did so many things to him.

He wondered how he could possibly be so heartbroken and aroused at the same time. He didn't want to feel any of it.

"I should be asking you." He breathed unsteadily.

"I'm—I'm okay."

In an instant, Yoongi felt it. That unmistakable emotion. It was a heat in his lower abdomen, a thrilling sensation in his chest spreading all throughout his body causing a thrum in his veins.

"Wait—actually something is poking me. I feel it on my stomach—"

Yoongi was glad it was dark so Jimin couldn't see the horror on his face and the crimson color on his cheeks.
He defeatedly laid his head on his shoulder unable to move. His body felt weak and his heart pounded achingly in his chest.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Sorry? For what? I'm the one that tripped and..." Jimin's eyes widened in realization.

They've been in this situation before except this time he was completely sober. He could feel Yoongi hardening against his abdomen.

Yoongi took a deep breath before getting off him. He sat down for a few seconds trying to control his mind. He hated losing control of his body and reacting this way.

"It's okay. I—it happens." Jimin murmured, bringing his knees closer to his chest. The funny feeling on his stomach was starting to spread lower.

"I'm so sorry." Yoongi whispered, covering his face. The oxygen tank wasn't enough for his lungs at the moment. His embarrassment settled deep within him bringing shame onto him.

"Yoongi I—it's okay. I'm sure it was the heat of the moment or unless—"

"No. It was that. If you can give me a few moments. I'll be out."

Jimin reached out wanting to touch him, but he hesitated and ended up getting up and leaving the closet.

"Bye Yoongi. I'll talk to you later."

Yoongi's chest tightened, his heart crumpled. The agony was cold and it made him shiver. Truly, Jimin took a part of his heart with him.

Jimin made his way back to Taehyung's desk. He was paler than a ghost and his friend seemed to notice once he was close enough.

"I can't find Yoongi anywhere. I'm starting to worry and—what's wrong with your arm? You're bleeding?"

Jimin looked at his forearm and saw the small dots of blood blistering through his skin. Up until then he hasn't noticed the slight stinging sensation.

"Oh I accidentally ran into something. I...I better go."

"Are you okay?"

"No but I think you're right. I have to think things through. Don't worry about Yoongi , he seems—fine." Even saying it out loud felt weird.

Yoongi seemed everything but fine. However, he felt that if he insisted on taking to him he'd mess it up even more or upset him.

Taehyung wanted to ask more, but he also had to find Yoongi. As he headed back down the hallway he saw Yoongi making his way back. His face was covered with a mask but his eyes said so much.

Something told him that Jimin and him had encountered each other. Yoongi sighed, "I guess they won. Jimin found me."

Taehyung nodded without saying another word. It wasn't his place either way. He was in the middle of it because he cared for them both.

When Yoongi got to his room he snatched the mask off his face along with his oxygen. He kicked his shoes off and threw himself on the bed.

It seemed that his lungs started deflating and he could sense his body struggling to breathe. His organs were begging him to put his oxygen back on but he refused.

This physical pain was better than the mental one.