Taehyung took a deep breath as he approached the table where Jungkook sat. He hadn't spoken to him in almost three months.

Ever since Hoseok got his transplant, he didn't return to the usual desk next to him. At first he thought he'd come back after Hoseok left the hospital but he never did. Chan had occupied his spot now.

Taehyung wiped his sweaty hands on his scrubs as he made his way past the busy cafeteria. His heart beat faster once Jungkook got closer.

"Good morning. Can I sit here?"

Jungkook looked up a little surprised to see Taehyung but nodded in agreement. He sat and awkwardly smiled trying to not stare too much since he'd interrupted his breakfast.

"Happy late birthday. I know I'm a month late."

Jungkook grinned, "Thanks! Yeah. We haven't seen each other lately."

"We really haven't. How's everything? I heard you moved to the pediatric floor."

"Oh it's great. I saw Yoongi recently and he's—I mean no. I didn't see him." Jungkook said, realizing that he wasn't supposed to say that.

Taehyung sighed, "Yeah. He manages to sneak out still. I keep telling him not to."

"I know. He's hardheaded. How are you liking Chan taking my spot? I bet he's easier to deal with." He chuckled attempting to lighten the mood.

"Maybe a little but I still miss you."

Jungkook's smile changed. It was no longer a happy teasing one. It had slightly faded and was sad. Forced. Reheated.

"Me too."

"Are you doing okay? Our last conversation wasn't the best. I didn't want to be annoying. I wanted to give you space and time."

"I'm doing well. I really am. I'm still working out like crazy. I'm learning new things on the pediatric floor. I'm doing okay. I hope you are too."

Jungkook truly sounded sincere. It made Taehyung feel much better about the situation. He a little felt less guilty.

Taehyung nodded in response, "Yeah. I am. I just wanted to check up on you."

"I'm fine. I bet you're excited to start school."

"You remembered."

"Of course." Jungkook grinned.

"Thank you Jungkook. I don't think I ever got to thank you for the time we spent together."

Jungkook's smile tightened and the bittersweet sensation fell over him once again. "We didn't work out but the time spent together was nice. I wish you the best Taehyung."

He nodded, "Me too Jungkook. I hope you find your happiness."

They exchanged one final smile before Taehyung got up from the table. Jungkook didn't look away until Taehyung disappeared past the door.

He was still hurt, but he felt much better now. At least now he got the closure he needed. It would be easier to move on now.

•••

"I'm surprised I didn't see you out there today." Jimin said as soon as he stepped through the door. His voice was a little shaky.

Yoongi played it off cool, but inside he was freaking out. His heart was racing, his stomach queasy and his hands clammy.

Jimin didn't want to make it obvious either but he felt the same way. Yoongi took a seat by the window and started mixing his pudding.

"Oh yeah. I couldn't sneak out. Taehyung has been on my ass. Apparently he talked to Jungkook and he mentioned seeing me recently. He's not too happy about that."

It was pretty evident to Jimin that Yoongi was trying to avoid eye contact. He didn't honestly know how he was brave enough to keep trying to meet eye to eye with him.

"Ahh. Got it. Uhh, sorry I didn't come earlier this week. I was busy with school and..."

Yoongi nodded his head once Jimin didn't finish his sentence. He had always found a way to come see him even for five minutes. He shook the negative thoughts away that were starting to get stuck onto his psyche like hungry leeches.

"Yeah. No problem. I understand."

Jimin sat on the chair in front of him. He waited for Yoongi to say something and he didn't. So he took a deep breath and spoke up to break the ice.

"We should address the elephant in the room." His voice was quivering again. It was embarrassing to get so nervous about this situation.

Yes, technically things were awkward but nothing out of the world had occurred. Jimin had plenty of one night stands before. What he did with Yoongi wasn't the worst thing in the world, however the difference was that this actually meant something to him unlike those random hookups.

He didn't want to break Yoongi's heart. He faintly remembered him weeping. At least that's what it looked like to him and now he didn't know how to make it up to him.

"Right. It's a pudding I make to take all my pills. Some of them have a weird taste."

Jimin smiled, "That's not what I'm talking about."

At last Yoongi looked at him and his breath slightly hitched. The tension between them was thick and sharp. So sharp that it could cut through them.

"I know."

"Yoongi, I—I remember everything. I want to apologize to you. Please forgive me for kissing you without permission. I took advantage of you and that shouldn't have happened." Jimin bowed his head ashamed of himself.

Yoongi's eyes widened confused. For one he didn't think Jimin would remember everything. Did that include his pathetic weeping session? The second was the fact that Jimin truly believed he'd taken advantage of him.

"You think you took advantage of me?"

Jimin straightened up and he realized Yoongi was also blushing. He nodded his head slowly, "I kissed you first and without asking."

Yoongi huffed, turning his gaze from him. He bawled his fists under the table trying to calm his fury. Did Jimin truly see him as a vulnerable soul unable to make decisions for himself?

Jimin had kissed him first, but Yoongi kissed him back because thats what he wanted. Yoongi had craved his touch for a long, long time. It wasn't something. That was forced upon him.

"I'd like to remind you that you were the drunk one. Technically speaking I was the one taking advantage."

Why couldn't Jimin view him like a man?

He assumed that Jimin saw past the oxygen tank, past the medical history and the hospital walls. However it seemed that he had thought wrong all along.

No one would ever see him as a person capable enough to make his own decision. He would always be viewed as a vulnerable inexperienced man that could be taken advantage of. It was a title he wouldn't get rid of.

"I know I was drunk Yoongi, but I still need to be held accountable for my actions. I shouldn't have kissed you and I shouldn't have done it again."

"Why because you think I will get hung over you? Don't flatter yourself so much. I'm not as gullible as you pursue me." Yoongi snapped, shifting his gaze back towards him.

Jimin noted how much his expression changed. His cheeks were still a rosy pink, but his eyes were cold now. His nostrils flared up and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yoongi I didn't mean it that way." He softly said.

"You sure did make it seem like it. I'm not going to die over what happened. I'll be fine. I told you I liked men, but that doesn't mean you."

Jimin's heart slowly sunk. Blood flowed down to his feet, stinging like the pricks of a thousand needles.

The reason he was apologizing and the reason he couldn't look him in the eye for longer than five seconds was because he cared. What happened wasn't insignificant to him. It meant something and for a second he thought it had meant something to Yoongi too.

He didn't know if Yoongi was simply trying to put up this wall to protect his heart and if he was only pretending he was good at it. There was so much anger and bitterness in his voice Jimin couldn't even recognize him.

"So did it mean nothing to you?" Jimin questioned.

Yoongi swallowed the lump in his throat and he slowly released his bawled fists from under the table. His senses accelerated as his defense was coming down.

He was about to take it all back, drown his anger and let the butterflies flood him again. Then Jimin spoke again and his defense suddenly struck again. Hard and impenetrable.

"Because you're my friend—you're important to me and I—I care about you."

The words were a second thought. This was something Jimin had said before. This was something he was supposed to say to him now to comfort him. He said it not because he meant it but because he had to.

Yoongi felt his jaw tremble. The queasiness hitting him yet again. He swallowed hard as he fought the temptation to scream. He could feel the blood pounding in his ears and his hands trembling.

It would soon manifest into a migraine. He knew this for sure. All of his emotions sat heavy on his chest making him tremble. He felt broken.

Utterly broken beyond repair. So he settled his thoughts and put on his unfazed mask though his heart was heavy.

"It meant nothing. It was a simple moment of pleasure for the both of us. You're a good friend and I care about you too. I think we should put this behind us and not speak of it again. It will make things awkward between us."

Jimin let a shaky breath escape his lips. He hadn't realized he had been holding it in this long. It stung to hear this. Maybe if Yoongi had said something else then he would've gotten the courage to admit to his own emotions.

This was a kick back to reality. A brutal awakening Jimin needed. This thing he felt for Yoongi—this crush wasn't possible. Yoongi didn't feel the same and to try to grow a flower out of a seed that was never planted was ludicrous.

You could only grow what was planted and a crazy drunk night of making out wasn't love. It was spontaneous and prohibited. Maybe that's why they both had done it for the thrill of it.

Jimin came to that conclusion after hearing how Yoongi truly felt about it. He suppressed his wounded heart and told himself he'd get over it eventually. Once the heat of the moment died so would this crush for Yoongi.

"Very well then. I agree." Jimin forced himself to say. He thought that's what Yoongi would want to hear. The last thing he wanted was to guilt trip him.

Yoongi nodded his head, unable to say anything else. The silence flooded over them. Slowly suffocating their lungs and filling their minds with unwanted cruel thoughts.

This is what Jimin had feared. That things would change between them and they had. Now he didn't know how not to look at Yoongi without thinking of his lips and how it felt to touch him.

Yoongi began eating his pudding, feeling the need to occupy himself to avoid any eye contact. The mushy texture with the pills mixed in gave it a weird aftertaste.

He never paid attention to it, but at the moment the bitterness in his mouth was overpowering. Or maybe it was the fact that he himself was bitter.

"I should get going. I have another big exam before fall break. I need to study as much as possible."

"Oh yes. Good luck with everything."

"Thank you." Jimin stood up. He wanted to reach over and give him a goodbye hug, but Yoongi didn't move from his seated position.

In fact, he kept his eyes focused on the table and his hands on the pudding cup. Jimin cleared his throat as the shapeless emotions welled up inside of him.

Pain.

"Bye Yoongi."

"Bye Jimin."

Yoongi relaxed his muscles as soon as he heard the door close behind. The lump in his throat nearly strangled him.

This time he wasn't able to hold his tears back.