"Oh good, I thought you were going to say something worse!" Mista cried.

"What else would I say?" Bruno asked.

"You don't wanna know." Mista said.

"Yes, I do want to know." Bruno said. Mista narrowed his eyes at Bruno.

"Well I won't tell you!" Mista huffed.

"Can you shut up Mista?" Fugo said.

"No you shut up!" Mista said. Fugo tched and turned away from Mista.

"Bucciarati, I know this chapter is semi-important to myself, but I cannot partake in this chapter because it is chapter 4! Do they want me to die or something?!" Mista said.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall Mista!" Bruno yelled. Mista ignored his comment.

"This again, Mista?" Fugo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"4 Is bad luck, Fugo! You know when I was a kid, there was this boy in my neighborhood who chose out of 4 cats to adopt! The one he chose scratched his eye out! And of course he beat the cat to death later!" Mista yelled.

"Yes, we've heard that story so many, many, MANY, times." Narancia piped up. Mista snarled at him.

"Bucciarati, come on! Please??" Mista gave Bruno his best puppy dog eyes which actually weren't that bad. He could see it on Bruno's face that he was pondering it. Mista got excited.

"No." Bruno said sternly. Mista's frown returned as he slumped down.

"Whyyyyyyy Bucciarati!!!! It's just a simple mining trippppp!" Mista complained.

"Mista, shut up and stop complaining!" Fugo said.

"You can't just skip out on us, Mista! We're supposed to do this together not just leave you out!" Narancia said.

"Well I wanna be left out!" Mista huffed, crossing his arms.

"Mista." Bruno said, placing his hand on Mista's shoulder.

"Mista you have to do this with us ok? Maybe you don't have to next time but please? We have to hurry up ok? Just come on! We're in this together. Don't make me get angry" Bruno whispered the last part, looking at Mista directly in the eyes.

"Alright, fine, you convinced me, now let's hurry up so we can get this over with!" Mista said. Bruno removed his hand and smiled at him. Mista smiled back. So Trish (who I forgot was here don't worry her chapter is soon), Giorno, and Mista, started back to their house, walking away from everyone else who was also on their way home. Giorno, Trish, and Mista walked in an awkward silence at first.

"Hey Giorno, you thinking about what we saw last night?" Mista asked, walking alongside Giorno and Trish.

"No, not really. Do you uh.... want me to?" Giorno asked.

"What'd you guys see?" Trish asked.

"Well after we all left when Fugo and Narancia were fighting, we were gonna go tell Narancia where we put his stuff, and then we walked in on him and Fugo aggressively making out! They were in this weird position, It was hilarious!" Mista said. Trish's eyes widened.

"Are you sure? Did one of them trip or something?" Trish asked.

"Trish, they were making out! They were caressing each other! And I'm pretty sure they used tongue! Oh man, I've got to tell Bucciarati!" Mista cried.

"Mista, you constantly over exaggerate every possible thing. I doubt that statement, and we don't need to tell anyone! It's Fugo and Narancia's privacy we already invaded, let's just leave it be." Giorno said.

"Well we both saw something! You have to admit that!" Mista said.

"So they really were making out?!" Trish exclaimed.

"We're pretty sure." Giorno said. Before they knew it, they were at the house but continued talking.

"How long have they been like doing this? Are they even like... together?" Trish asked.

"Don't know dude, but I've always suspected something. We should interrogate them! I'm dying to know!" Mista said.

"Or we could let them keep their privacy, and not bother them about it?" Giorno suggested. Trish and Mista both stopped, staring at Giorno.

"I'm, of course not! If they have anything going on then they are entitled to tell us! We're all in this together, as Bucciarati said!" Mista said.

"Yea, plus it's Fugo and Narancia! I don't even know how that's possible, but I guess it makes sense when you think about it." Trish said.

"Neither of you are making and sense. We should just leave them be, let them tell us when they're ready!" Giorno said.

"Giorno, we don't have that much time! We gotta do it nowwww!" Mista cried.

"Just drop it Mista. Do whatever you want but don't involve me." Giorno said.

"I'll involve you if I want to!" Mista said. Giorno shot him a glare and Mista shut up. They advanced into the house, getting their things.

- when they bacc -

They're meeting on the fourth island, the one with the cave that Narancia repeatedly fell down and died in. But this time he won't die, or will he. But that doesn't matter because this is Mista's chapter which is coincidentally chapter 4, and I promise you it was a complete accident but here we are.

Anyway,

Mista, Giorno, and Trish were last to return. The trio continued their conversation on the way back, thinking up ways to interrogate Fugo and Narancia. If they split up, then they're definitely going to do so. But only if they get to choose their groups. Sometimes Bruno chooses groups for them, they all hate when he does that. Especially when it's Abbacchio and Giorno together.

"Mista, are you going to go through with this?" Bruno asked him.

"Yea, sure, fine." He said, being a moody teenager™️ and crossing his arms, even though he's 18. Or is he 19? (I honestly can't remember) Bruno shot him a mommy™️ glare, but couldn't get too upset because Mista was going anyways.

"Then let's go, we're eventually going to split up so i'll let you decide who to go with." Bruno said. As soon as he did, Mista rushed to Fugo, and Trish rushed to Narancia. They were planning their interrogation already.

"Giorno you can come with us if you'd like" Bruno said, gesturing towards him and Abbacchio.

"No, you can't." Abbacchio said, crossing his arms.

Abbacchio! Just let him come with us! It's fine, he never did anything, you're getting worked up over nothing!" Bruno said, walking over to Giorno and grabbing him by the wrist. He dragged Giorno and Abbacchio into the cave together. Abbacchio tched and became pissy baby father. Because he's dad, and Bruno's mommy.

Mista dragged Fugo into the cave behind them, and Narancia reluctantly went with Trish. It's not like Narancia didn't want to spend some time with Trish, It's just that he knows why she went with them. And he usually shouldn't. They all went separate ways, but knew where each other were because of where they went.

"Naranciaaaaa, so how was your night last night???" She asked suspiciously.

"Uhh, I don't know. Weird?" He responded.

"Weird? Why's that"? She asked.

"BECAUSE I LOST SPAGHETTI -I MEAN PIZZA AND LINGUINI! AND THEN YOU TORTURED ME FOR ANSWERS! Can't I just grieve in peace!" He said, tears running down his face.

"Oh, that sucks. Sorry about that. But got anything else? Anything...... intimate? Personal? Come on you know I won't tell!" Trish said.

"Uhhhhh, not that I can think of." Narancia said. Trish facepalmed, but then got close to Narancia, who stopped in his tracks. The rest of the group was far ahead, walking the last bit out of their render distance, and in the dark. They were alone now.

"Nothing? Nothing at all? Nothing intimate? Nothing personal?" Trish asked.

"Uhhhhh, well I did trip last night after you guys all left." Narancia said.

"Oh, are you ok? Were you hurt?" Trish asked, smirking.

"Well I mean, Fugo caught me." Narancia said.

"Oh! Oh.. Anything else happen? Anything with Fugo maybe?" Trish asked.

"Well uhh, I don't know. It's kind of embarassing." Narancia said.

"I already told you! You can tell me anything! How many times do I have to remind you that." Trish said.

"Seriously! Nothing else happened! That I remember at least. Can we go now? We're going to loose everyone else." Narancia said, scratching the back of his neck

"So you don't remember making out with Fugo?" Trish said, straight to the point. Narancia's face turned a bright red. Almost as red as Fugo's suit.

"We didn't make out! Mista probably just got the wrong idea! It was an accident I'm telling you!" Narancia said, trying to cover his face with his small arms.

"Oh, that's lame." Trish said, sighing.

"W-Well it wasn't lame for me!" Narancia said. Trish perked up, smirking.

"Did you..... y' know... like it?" Trish asked smugly.

"Like what?" Narancia said.

"OH MY GOSH NARANCIA!" Trish yelled.

"Keep your voice down! But what? What did I like?" Narancia asked.

"Your kiss with Fugo? Did you enjoy it?" Trish asked.

"Oh.. I uh... Isn't this getting a bit too personal?" Narancia asked.

"Alright fine, I guess it is. But don't expect me not to ask later." Trish said.

"Don't expect me to not give you the same answer." Narancia responded, hurrying to find the rest of the gang but no one was near.

"Trishhhhhh! You got us lost!" Narancia whined, slouching down into a horribly postured pose.

"Heh...... oops." She said. Narancia groaned.

"Giorno, do you have any idea what's up with Mista and Trish today? They seemed unusually excited to go with Narancia and Fugo, and neither of them seemed too happy about it." Bruno asked, worried for his children.

"Well they were just excited to talk to them." Giorno said.

"Why would they want to talk to them?" Abbacchio said.

"Because well, Mista and myself witnessed quite the scene yesterday". Giorno said. Bruno became more mommy upset.

"What could you have possibly walked in on that would make Mista and Trish want to talk to Fugo and Narancia?" Abbacchio said.

"Well i'm pretty sure Narancia tripped and fell into Fugo, but Mista thought they were full on making out." Giorno said.

"WHAT?!" Bruno mommy yelled.

"I mean their lips were touching and they kept like going in for more but I saw that it was really just Narancia trying to get up. Because he tripped and fell onto Fugo, and couldn't get up without leaning on him more." Giorno said.

"And why aren't you keepin this information to yourself?" Abbacchio grumbled. Giorno moved up to Abbacchio's face.

"First off, It's Fugo and Narancia we're talking about here." Giorno said, really pronouncing the syllables to emphasize his dominance.

"Secondly, Bruno said if anything happens we're to tell him, and that's exactly what i'm doing." Giorno said. Abbacchio tched and crossed his arms if he could anymore.

"It's kind of hard to believe you know?" Bruno said, breaking to tension between Abbacchio and Giorno.

"What is?" Abbacchio said.

"It's just, Narancia and Fugo. I never thought about them like that." Bruno said.

"Well I don't think anyone has." Giorno said. Bruno shrugged.

"But it was quite the sight, actually seeing them sucking faces when everything's just so sudden." Giorno said.

"Sucking faces? Are you British Giorno?" Bruno asked.

"Uh, yea?" Giorno said.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US? ARE YOU EVEN ITALIAN?!" Bruno yelled.

"Sort of, I've spent my entire life in Italy, I'm half British and Japanese." Giorno said.

"Then how did you end up in Italy?" Abbacchio questioned.

"My mother lives here." Giorno said.

"What about your dad?" Bruno asked. Giorno frowned.

"I have three fathers. Technically four. But I have two nonbiological and two biological dads. One biological mother, one nonbiological." Giorno said, referring some to his new Bruno mommy and Abbacchio "father" who treats him like every father he's ever had has treated him.

"How is that possible?" Bruno asked.

"Don't know, ask my relatives, they know not me." Giorno paused. "They also know me but I have no idea who they are...... Can we stop talking about this? It's quite personal." He said.

"Giorno you are so confusing and weird." Abbacchio said.

"Wow thanks." Giorno said, breaking out of character to be mean to Abbacchio.

"Hey Fuuuuugo?"

"No."

"Heyyy, you don't even know what I was going to say."

"I know exactly what you were going to say."

Fugo was not having a good time. Why does he never get any peace? It's always one thing after another. He can hardly look Narancia in the eye after what happened, and he doesn't need Mista bending the truth even more than he's already bent it to get Trish in on it.

"Come on Fugo, just give me a chance!" Mista whined.

"Fine, Mista. What could you possibly want to bother me within this exact moment?" Fugo asked, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I wanted to ask you something about-"

"About last night? Yea, I thought so." Fugo interrupted.

"Well yeah, but what's so painful about it!" Mista whines.

"Mista, That doesn't involve you just because you were there! It's really none of your business!" Fugo said. Mista knew this wouldn't be as easy as it probably was with Narancia.

"Oh come on! We're all a part of the gang! We're family now! You gotta tell us things!" Mista reasoned terribly.

"Mista, just drop it! I don't have to tell you anything if I don't have to!" Fugo said.

"Fugo. Listen. It's not good to keep all these things inside! It's not healthy!" Mista said.

"Do you think I don't know that!?" Fugo yelled.

"I know it's not healthy..... but it's better for me to just keep it in!" Fugo said. Mista stopped him with his arm.

"Hey, hey, hey, Fugo, no it's not. You literally always have us to confide in, you never have to keep anything in. It doesn't matter how stupid or bad it is, we're always going to be there." Mista said, gently placing his hand onto Fugo's shoulder. Fugo looked like he wanted to say something, but was too pained to do so.

"I-I can't even look him in the eye anymore!" Fugo said.

"He just acted as nothing happened! How? How! It's so embarrassing! Every aspect of it! I don't even know why I'm getting so worked up over it." Fugo said.

"Well, it's normal. I get that it's embarrassing, and you feel like you want to hide away from everyone, especially Narancia." Mista said.

"How would you know that-" Mista pressed his fingers to Fugo's lips to shush him.

"Shshshshshsh, just stop talking." Mista said.

"Weren't you the one who just said I should be talking?" Fugo said, though it sounded kind of weird because of Mista's fingers muffling it. Mista was turning stupid again. He went from nice and considerate Mista, back to the one-brain-celled doofus he's grown to love without homo.

"Let the therapists Mista help you." Mista said, stopping to mine a piece of coal.

"You're not a therpi-"

"Now Fugo, tell me more about last night." Mista said. Fugo hesitated.

"It was completely and utterly embarrassing! But I know it wasn't either of our faults. So I can't really blame anyone but I can't help it." Fugo said.

"Dude you gotta talk to him."

"Mista, that is the one thing I cannot do." Fugo said.

"I bet there are plenty more things that you cannot do." Mista said sassily.

"Mista, you don't understand how embarrassing this situation is!" Fugo exclaimed.

"Shshshsh, this is my chapter you have to do what I want." Mista said.

"I highly doubt that's how this works but ok." Fugo said

"Hey wait..... STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL MISTA!" Fugo screamed.

"AHHHHHHHH FOUR!!!!!" Mista screamed back.

"Mista stop screaming."

"Ok." Mista stopped screaming.

"You know we're not really finding anything here." Fugo said, looking around a cave that has no ores in it.

"Stop diverting the topic but yea I get what you mean." Mista said.

"I'll divert the topic if I want to." Fugo said, breaking out of character to be mean to Mista.

- lel where is this even going -

The gang eventually ran into each other, at a place where all the caves simultaneously met, at a huge ravine. It looked to be filled with ores, there were possibly diamonds. This thought excited all of them. When the group of three arrived at the ravine they took notice of the gravel pathway between them and another exit to a cave. They weren't sure whether to cross it or not.

"So.... should we cross it?" Bruno asked after a long, awkward silence.

"Well, I think-"

"Giorno just shut up nobody cares to hear about your lectures." Abbacchio interrupted.

"Kono Giorno Giovanna ni wa yume ga aru!" Giorno said. Abbacchio tched.

"Nobody cares Gorno!" Abbacchio said.

"Well ACTUALLY! I CARE! And if you keep being so mean ILL HAVE TO PUT YOU IN TIME OUT!" Bruno yelled.

"Bucciarati, I'm not even one of your adoptive children, in their adoptive father! Except for Giorno though, he will never be a child of mine." Abbacchio said.

"I can put you in time out whenever, wherever, and whoever. Also, Giorno is my child! Which makes him your child!" Bruno yelled, holding Giorno close to him.

"Neither of you are old enough to be our parents, but ok." Giorno said. Bruno mommy shushed him. Giorno is a disobedient child and broke away from Bruno's mommy grasp.

"What are we standing here for?" Giorno said.

"I don't know, what are you standing there for?" Giorno soon realized that wasn't any of their voices.

"N-Naniiiiii?!!" He said, looking around.

"Oh hey, Mista." Giorno said.

"Hey, Giorno." Mista said.

"Oh, so you're back." Bruno said.

"SO ARE WEEEEEEEEEE!" Narancia the local house rat screeched, appearing with Trish on the other side of the ravine, where Fugo and Mista came from.

"Oh, so everyone's here?" Bruno said.

"Yea, me and Trish heard yelling so we went this way and found you guys. I hope we're not too late." Narancia said.

"We got here the same time as you." Fugo said, shrugging. The (four) started across the little gravel passage between them and Bruno, Giorno, and Abbacchio. It all went smoothly until Narancia heard a creeper behind him.

"Aww man!" He said as the creeper blew up. The blast knocked them closer to the other side, but the gravel was faster. Trish managed to get their first, so she was fine with the rest of them. Mista almost made it, but Giorno grabbed him so he was fine. Fugo and Narancia fell, but they landed in water so they didn't die. But it's fine cause this is Mista's chapter and they can just build up in their friendly awkwardness.

"Mista, are you ok?" Giorno asked, kneeling in front of Mista.

"I'm fine but hitting that wall kind of winded me." Mista said.

"Oh, so you need more air? Ok." Giorno said.

(now at this moment I could either make Giorno do nothing, or have Narancia build up to see something he thought was something else but was really the opposite. I think I'll go for the second option)

"Ohhhh I see.... cpr... I see, I see, I like how you think donut hair!" Mista said, gasping for air. He and Giorno leaned in, just as Narancia was building up.

"Hey guys, I'm fine just in case you were wonderi- gAsp! OH MY GOSH!" Narancia gasped, and fell back down, landing in the running water with a splash.

"You good now Mista?" Giorno said pulling away.

"No homo, but that was great and I feel refreshed!" Mista said.

"Good, I'm glad you're ok, Mista." Giorno said because this is Mista's chapter.

"STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" Bruhno yelled.

"AHHHHHHHH" Mista screamed at the number four.

"Shut up!" They heard from a flustered Narancia at the bottom of the ravine. They all looked over to see him at the bottom.

"Fugo?" Narancia said, frantically looking around for Fugo.

"Guys? Is Fugo up there with you?" Narancia asked. The five paused and looked around, no Fugo in sight.

"Dammit! This is my chapter! Why's Fugo getting all this attention! His chapter isn't even for like three other ones!" Mista grumbled.

"Mista shut up, where the hell is Fugo? What did you do with Fugo?" Abbacchio said.

"I didn't do anything! Don't go blaming me! For all I know you did something to him!" Mista said. Abbacchio tched and looked away, to his wife Bruno. Narancia built his way back up again and then plopped on the ground next to everyone else.

"Narancia why are you so glum now?" Bruno asked.

"Cause I wanted to tell Fugo something and now he's gone!" Narancia cried.

"What you're undying love for him?" Mista retorted.

"No! I was gonna say sorry! For last night......." Narancia said.

"Holy shit, Narancia actually apologizing for once? Jeez guys, I think he's gone nuts." Mista said. Giorno elbowed him.

"Hey! What was that for!" He said.

"Stop making him feel worse! All this meaningless dialogue is getting us nowhere! We're either going to continue our mining trip with or without Fugo, or we go back now! With or without Fugo!" Giorno said.

"I wanna find Fugooo!" Narancia said.

"Nobody cares Narancia, this is Mista's chapter." Abbacchio said.

"Are you on your man-period or something? You don't have to be so mean!" Narancia said. They all wished Fugo was there right now to ask how Narancia knows about that and hit him with a fork for whatever reason for knowing. Abbacchio grunted in the manliest man manner, in response. Bruno marched forward.

"We're going this way! Now come on lazy asses!" Bruno mommy said, leading them to the other cave entrance that was now built over in cobble.

"B-But Bucciarati!" Narancia cried, crying.

"No buts! That's an order!" Bruno said, leading the willing participants away while Narancia sulks behind them, and trudges along.

Fugo time:

-Fugo is in the minecraft backrooms but it's a cave-

Not Fugo time:

The six of them casually walked around the caves, coming across some occasional coal, iron, gold, and lapiz. They haven't yet found diamonds. Narancia had said that he wouldn't leave until he found any and that he'd get them in honor of Fugo. Bruno thought that was cute but, so was Trish but not so much everyone else.

"There's something wrong with you, kid." Abbacchio had said to him. Narancia had no idea what he meant. This is Mista's chapter anyway.

Everyone was interrupted in their hazes when they heard a gasp.

"Guys! Look!" Narancia said, pointing across a lava pool.

"What is it this time Narancia? Don't tell me it's another stand making you say things!" Mista said. He then sighed and looked over to where Narancia was pointing.

"Look! Pizza!" Narancia said.

"Narancia I have no idea what you're saying, all I see is some Italian sausages for my Sex Pistols who are probably hungry." Mista said. They all looked at him weirdly.

"Huh? I see my bed." Abbacchio said, of course it's his bed that he cherished and wants to stay on his entire life just like B-

Anyway,

"What? I see drugs gone from the world!" Giorno said.

"I mean I just see stone so I don't really know what you're talking about." Bruno said.

"I see trish hentai." Trish said. Everyone looked at her. She shrugged.
"Why does it exist? I don't know. Why I'm seeing it? I don't know." She said.

"MEESTAAAAAAAAA!" The loudest sound in existence said. This loud and natural occurrence shook the entire cave.

"You hungry little guys? My pride and joy? My sunshine? The sex to my pistols? The Giorno to my Abbacchio's piss?" Mista said.

"yees we hungry" Number 5 said.

"You guys have terrible grammar and punctuation if only Fugo were here right now to tell you off." Mista said. Narancia started crying in the corner. Giorno patted his back soothingly like a Giorno would do to his own Narancia.

"Why are we all seeing something different?" Bruno asked.

"Stand?" Giorno suggested.

"If its a stand I'm gonna kick it's butt!" Narancia said, then Giorno shushed him.

"Let's just keep going, there's gonna be more things to explore and we don't have that much time!" Bruno said.

"What could you possibly mean by that? We have all the time in the world! We can sit and stare for the rest of eternity for all we care!" Mista said.

"Well we better hurry everything up before somebody sends someone to kill us all and we're just sitting still in one room!" Bruno said.

"Then why'd we do this in the first place!" Mista cried.

"Because you suggested it! And I thought we could all use some time together not fighting for our lives." Bruno said.

"Well, this obviously wasn't the best choice! You could've just said no or suggested something else!" Mista growled, he's really getting the attention now it is his chapter of course.

"Shut up so we can find diamonds! That's the point of this chapter!" Giorno said.

"HOLY SHIT STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?!?" Bruno screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Mista screamed again.

Giorno marches forward, followed by Abbacchio, they were both tired of all the screaming by Bruno and Mista and the upsetti spaghetti Ghirga boy. Trish sighed and went with them, Narancia cowered and swiftly treaded behind.
It took a minute for the tension to cool and Mista and Bruno to calm down.

"This feels really similar....... I want some cheese." Bruno thought to himself. Mista and Bruno soon accompanied the rest on their venture through the caves that desperately need an update instead of berry 🅱️ benson taking over the united states economy.

- later cause i can -

"Oi Josuke- I mean Narancia....... take a look at that!" Mista said, pointing to some mossy cobblestone in the distance. Narancia gasped.

"Mista! Good spot! Guys, we gotta go over there, there's a dungeon!" Narancia said, pointing to the odd blocks that really don't fit where they currently are.

"Good looking, Mista. Let's head over." Giorno said, placing a calming hand on Mista's shoulder. Moista-I mean Mista smiled back. They made their way to the dungeon.

"Oi Narancia, what spawner is this?" Mista said, looting all of the chests that were filled with useless garbage and Melone seed- I mean melon seeds.

"Well, It's probably a skeleton spawner." Narancia said, getting shot in the face by a skeleton.

"Oh ok, thanks!" Mista said, getting shot in the ᕵᘿᘿᕵᘿᘿ and made his gun go off.

"Ah shit, here we go again," Mista said, dying.

"Mista was shot in the ᕵᘿᘿᕵᘿᘿ"

Mista has quit the chapter.

"MEEEEEEEESTAAAAAAA" Number 5 screamed. But it was no use, Guido Mista has officially left the chapter. The Sex Pistols are there in place. Bruno, Abbacchio, Giorno, Trish, and Narancia were all in the background. Narancia was in the floor as usual in every picture he's in.

Anyway, The group maneuvered through the caves, not finding much.

"We really need a cave update, this is so boring." Narancia said.

"Yea, especially with the ugly diorite and granite and andesite." Giorno says.

"What the fuck is andesite? It sounds like my birth control that goes in my hair follicles." Bruno said.

"You take birth control?" Trish asked.

"Well duh, why do you think I only have seven of you and not my entire uterus?" Bruno said.

"You have a uterus?" Abbacchio asked.

"Kono Bruno Bucciarati ni wa spiritual uterus ga aru." Bruno mommy says.

"Hey, you stole my lin-"

"You have a spirit?" Narancia asked out of the blue. Bruno mommy hit Narancia for saying a bad word.

"Anyway," Bruno started, clasping his hands and folding them over his abdomen, setting his feet shoulder length apart and facing the camera.

"Let's keep going shall we?" He said, walking off. Everyone followed like the followers of Jesus Christ they are, except it's not Jesus Christ, it's Bruno Bucciarati. Maybe he is Jesus. But Giorno is actually Jesus because Dio's name means god. And he's the son of God, which makes him Jesus.

-even later-

"Oi, mommy- I- uh... I mean Bucciarati, are we there yet? Can we go home, I'm getting kind of tired." Narancia said.

"Ok, only for you my sweet baby boy."
Bruno said.

"So which way exactly is home?" Giorno asked.

"Up." Bruno said

"Don't you dare tell me we're going to dig straight up in Minecraft! Bucciarati, that's just as bad as digging straight down!" Trish said it's basic common knowledge not to dig straight down but apparently not for this sticky-fingered man.

"It doesn't matter which way we dig, just listen to Bruno and stop complaining!" Abbacchio said.

"Thank you, Leone." Bruno said to his big tiddy goth girlfriend.

"Of course Bruno," Abbacchio said, brushing a piece of hair out of Bruno's face whilst Bruno stares deep into his eyes.
Giorno broke the mood by speaking up in retaliation.
"Well actually, strip mining has been proven to be more effective than straight up or down, which may be more efficient, but can frequently lead you to find yourself facing lava, deep and treacherous holes, unsurfacable water, and basically just certain death." Giorno said. Abbacchio looked like he could kill Giorno, and desperately wanted to.

"Oh, well thank you for the suggestion, Giorno." Bruno said, physically restraining Abbacchio.

"Leone! Calm down!" Abbacchio visibly relaxed when Bruno used his first name. It's just an adulty thing to use first names and they love it when they call each other like that.

"This doesn't settle anything! Just hurry and decide how we're going home because I want to rest already, today's been too eventful." Narancia said.

"Of course, my glittering baby boy." Bruno said. Narancia enjoys this praise very much, especially from Bruno or Fugo. But the praise ended soon, by the noisy Sex Pistols arguing again.

"Number three! Stop hitting me!! And how many forks do you even have!!" Number 5 cried, being stabbed by forks.

"Oi! Number Three, Number Five, stop fighting will you!" Narancia yelled. Number 5 then quickly flew over to him.

"Narancia!!!!! Help meeee, Number Three's a twitch thot- I mean a meanie weenie and won't stop hitting me!!!" It cried.

"It's ok, Number Five, just stick with me and I'll make sure Number Three can't hurt you!" Narancia said.

"Giorno! Help me! Number Five sucks and I hate him!!" Number three cried to Giorno.

"Oh hi, Number Three, you know it's not nice to bully Number Five like you do." Giorno said.

"But I can't help it! I just hate him so much and I don't like him!" Number 3 said.

"Well shut up Number three! You could've been Number four for all I care!" Giorno said.

"EEEEEEEEE" It screamed. Giorno could practically feel that Mista wants to hurt him for calling the Pistols "it" and not "beautiful, gorgeous, baby boys". But Giorno doesn't care though. Mista's not here and he's not coming back until the next chapter and Giorno knows that because he can break the fourth wall. Bruno decides not to comment.

- Everyone is mining their way out and they suddenly hear a hiss, but it's just lava not a creeper -

Everyone stops to try to find where the lava sound came from, but alas no source.

"What? Where did it go?" Trish asked.

They suddenly hear an ambient cave sound, and they turn to look for that too. But they're interrupted by an apparently angry Narancia's muda and unimportant dialogue.

"I spent ten minutes wasting away three ounces of my life!" Narancia angrily grumbled. Everyone stopped and stared.

"What the fuck, Narancia?" One of the Sex Pistols said.

"I've never heard you do math like that are you ok? Is Fugo's disappearance actually making you think for once?" Abbacchio said.

"Shut up! I can think for myself and I don't constantly need Fugo! I could go back out on the streets for the rest of my life and not need Fugo!" Narancia said.

"That can be arranged." Giorno said.

"I didn't mean it dumbass! Take that back before I punch you!" Narancia yelled.

"No, No I don't think I will." Giorno said. Narancia shoved him into Abbacchio. Abbacchio gasped.

"You little shit how dare you push him into me! I'll push some sense into you, just get over here!" Abbacchio said.

"I JUST WANTED US TO BOND! NOW SHUT UP WHILR WE GET OUT OF HERE!" Bruno yelled, which he usually only does when someone breaks the fourth wall.

"Anyways, we either look for that sound or get out of here. Which sounds better to you?" Bruno said.

"I mean it's getting kinda hot down here." Narancia said, fanning himself with his blocky hand.

"LITERALLY NOBODY CARES!" Bruno screeched. Narancia didn't really do anything back.

"You know i'm kinda getting hot too, even in this outfit." Trish said.

"Ok my sweet baby girl, light of my life daughter, mommy will save you." Bruno said.

"Hey! I thought I was the light of your life!" Abbacchio said.

"Yes, you are." Bruno said.

"Oh, ok." Abbacchio went back to mining. So did everyone else. They eventually breached through a new section of Morioh- I mean caves. There were three separate ways, all of them had a sigh in front, saying "Exit" and that was it.

"Looks like we're splitting up, I'll decide who goes with who." Bruno said. No one disagreed. Bruno ended up with Trish, Giorno and the Sex Pistols, and Abbacchio and Narancia, because those two need a bonding moment. Still, no one disagreed. They never do, but sometimes visibly recoil.

Giorno time-

Giorno silently walked the cave, not daring to utter a word because he didn't want to further cause world war 3 (WW3) for the second time. He just walked, enjoying his inner peace but not the outer fucking bloodbath of the Sex Pistols. Giorno has no idea how many times the Sex Pistols have had these types of wars, but he'd rather not ask. The only thing Giorno wouldn't want to happen is for the Sex Pistols to notice him and pull him into their battle, their rumble tumble, their orgy.

(disclaimer: not an orgy)

Either way, Giorno couldn't really say whether he was enjoying his stay at Holiday Inn Express, but damn not being constantly pestered is pleasant. But at the same time all the commotion, it's kind of giving the poor Giorno a headache. Giorno just wants to go home.

Trish Time-

Trish was enjoying her walk with Bruno, neither of them were too talkative nor quiet, they just had some simple small talk and kept low. There were plenty of questions Trish wanted to ask, but she knows Bruno can't possibly know, or isn't qualified to answer.

"Are answers really that hard to get?" Trish thought aloud.

"What do you mean?" Bruno responded.

"I have so many questions, Bucciarati. How am I ever supposed to get any answers to even one!" Trish said.

"Maybe you're just asking the wrong questions then." Bruno said.

"What do you mean? They're the only things I could possibly want to know, how could they be wrong?" She asked.

"I don't know, I'm just trying to sound wise." Bruno said. Trish stopped to ponder for a moment.

"But what if I am asking the wrong questions?" Trish said.

"What if you are?" Bruno said.

"How will I know? What is a good question and what is a bad question, how do they differ?" Trish asked.

"How will we know what spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs will taste like if we never eat it?" Bruno said, being Italian™️.

"OH MY GOSH YOU'RE RIGHT!" Trish exclaimed.

(I just accidentally gave myself the meaning of life)

"Wait what- Oh yes! Of course I am!" Bruno said.

"I will never know if a question is good or bad unless I ask it! It can also depend on the person or situation! Like spaghetti- Bucciarati, you're a genius!" Trish said.

"Usually this is a conversation I would have it with Narancia, but with you Trish, I thought you'd already know the answer." Bruno said.

"What do you mean, Bucciarati?" Trish asked.

"Haven't you already tasted the spaghetti?" Bruno asked. Trish paused for a moment then threw her hands in the air.

"OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE RIGHT AGAIN! YOU'RE THR BEST BUCCIARATI! THANK YOU SO MUCH, ITS ALL SO CLEAR NOW!" Trish cried, running off.

"We're still in a cave.?" Bruno said, but Trish was long gone.

"What just happened? I'm a man." He said to himself.

Welcome to Bruno Bucciarati's coming out story, of how he realizing he was not a mother, but a man.

- Narancia & Abbacchio bonding moment: The Electric Boogaloo -

Abbacchio does and doesn't particularly like this dumb boy he's with. On average, he's about 11 years old. And his music taste is horrid, even worse than his ability to do simple maths and memorize simple facts and equations. Along with his imprudent temper and boisterous attitude, it just didn't sync with Abbacchio's ill-tampered and tranquil persona. Plus Narancia's a little fuckboy if you know what I mean (and by that I mean he's dead).

"Hey Abbacchio?" Sweet little baby boy asked his father. Abbacchio took a while to respond, only humming as a response.

"You think we're gonna find Fugo?" He asked. Abbacchio was dreading that question, his question.

"Look, Narancia, he probably only just died or something and the system glitches and it didn't show up. I don't see any other explanation available? Do you?" Abbacchio said.

"But I didn't hear or see any mobs! I was down there with him and would've seen anything if it was there and there was nothing!" Narancia exclaimed.

"Do you ever listen? Just say that's what happened and boom done that's what happened, he'll be back at home waiting for us." Abbacchio grumbled.

"You know hearing you talk like that really lets me know about you before Passione." Narancia said.

"WHAT THE FUCK D'YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT- I mean what was that brat?!" Abbacchio said, stopping in his tracks to turn to Narancia and grab him by the straps of his shirt- thing??

"It's just that the way you're talking no wonder you're so guilty and even I can tell that you're attitude led you to your partner's-"

"Shut the fuck up right now before I beat the shit out of you." Abbacchio said, gripping Narancia's straps tighter.

"See? You just gotta turn that frown upside down!" Narancia said, using his fingers to make Abbacchio's purple frown into an ugly and unnatural smirk. Abbacchio soon smacked his hands away.

"Don't touch me kid!" He said, pushing Narancia away.

"Then don't tell me Fugo's waiting for us at home! As much as I'd like that to be true I know it's not! So shut up before I punch you!" Stubborn Ghirga boy said.

"Can't you live without Fugo for a day or too? Much less an hour! I want Fugo back as much as everyone else! But we just need to get home ok? Can you do something that simple?" Abbacchio said. Narancia angrily huffed and walked on.

(Best bonding moment i've ever written)

(anyways, just as a filler i've decided to fill the audience in on the things they got and an idea of the next chapter: nether portal)

Eventually everyone made it up, some more alive than others, but it was fine. Giorno managed to avoid worsening world war 3, and Trish and Bruno had a violent bonding moment. We don't talk about Abbacchio and Narancia here, together at least. But Giorno was more than happy to get out alive, he wishes he could talk to Mista about it, but instead he had the Sex Pistols. Narancia got a diamond pickaxes, he was ecstatic when he first made it, then everyone else made one and it wasn't that special anymore, to quote it:

"YES! A DIAMOND PICKAXE! I CAN AVENGE PIZZA, AND LINGUINI!"

The crying boy cried intensely at his achievement and sadness. But life isn't fair, and neither is the order Giorno makes his donuts.

Anyways they emerged from the cave, inventories full of grief and ores. They all went home in groups, or two groups and Narancia. Narancia came home to an empty house, there was no Fugo waiting for him, arms open, waiting to bring the smaller boy into a warm embrace. But there was no trace of Fugo, everything was the exact same as when they had left, not even Fugo's bed was messed with, or the books on the shelves, or the items in his secret chest that's meant to explode if someone besides him tries to open it. Narancia sighs and trudges over to his room, ploping down on his bed and playing a random disc on his jukebox that he was able to craft. It was called "13" and Narancia was jamming to it.

In the distance Abbacchio and Bruno were trying to cover the sounds, the sounds the jukebox emits can travel far, far enough that they can hear it all the way there. Maybe not from Mista's house, but neither of them want to find out. Narancia weird music taste is enough to drive anyone away, even Fugo or Bruno.

"When will that horrid music stop!" Bruno cried.

"I just want peace!!!" Abbacchio yelled,

"I just want to live a quiet life. My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone." Bruno said.

"Well said, Bruno!" Abbacchio said.

"Why thank you, Leone." Bruno said. They could practically hear Mista's fake gagging, but not caring.

"Anyways, I think we should get to building a nether portal, Narancia's music- if you can even call it that- will probably be drowned out or too far away to hear, I just don't know how to make it so we need to go find Mista." Bruno said.

"How about you go get Narancia, I'll go get Mista and everyone else." Abbacchio said.

"You know I know you don't want to get closer to the music but if you tell him to stop he'll stop." Bruno said.

"Don't care, now hurry this I want to sleep." Abbacchio said, making his way downstairs to get The rest of the crew. Bruno sighed and shoved earplugs in his ears. He reluctantly started on his way to Narancia and Fugo's house. The music was still really loud with the ear plugs in and Bruno did not like it. At all.

As he entered the house it seemed kind of dull, maybe just because it wasn't a good day. Maybe the VR system is just glitchy today, nothing to worry too much about.

Bruno hated stairs, they were just so inconvenient, and tires you so much. Even in Minecraft!

"HEY NARANCIA! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!" Bruno screamed. Narancia paised the music.

"Hey so Narancia, could you hold this for me for a second?" Bruno asked, zippering a hole into the wall and getting a magazine out of it, handing it to Narancia and obscuring his vision.

"Sure, I don't know why you need me to thoug-" Narancia was interrupted by a weird staticky sound, he moved the magazine to see if it was his jukebox, turns out it was. The disc had popped out, all scratched and things.

"Damn creeper! I just got this one too! How dare he give me a disc like this! I'll have to get him the next time I see him!" Narancia said. Bruno sighed and facepalmed.

"Anyways were gonna go build a nether portal, come with me." Bruno said.

"Ok, mommy!"

Abbacchio was relieved when he heard the music stop, and not start playing again. It was a nice peaceful walk now, to probably the noisiest household besides the music playing one. Three people in one house, especially two guys and a girl, is going to be loud. ESPECIALLY two guys and a girl planning things secretively that makes everyone wonder if there was a plan or a secret sex orgy. But Abbacchio doesn't like thinking about that kind of thing.

Before he knew it, he was at their house. He didn't bother knocking or ringing the bell, it was only going to take a minute anyway.

"HEY YOU LITTLE SHITS, WE'RE BUILDING SOME WEIRD PORTAL SHIT GET OUT HERE!" Abbacchio screamed, fashionably and gracefully walked out. He was followed by the Sex Pistols, and a Giorno and Trish. They all walked together in silence to the fourth island, where Bruno and Narancia were patiently waiting.

"I got them, boss." Abbacchio said.

"I see that." Bruno replied.

"You see shit." Abbacchio said.

"Jeez! Don't expose me Leone!" Bruno cried. He then cleared his throat.

"Anyway, do you know why I have gathered you here today?" He said.

"To find Fugo-"

"We are going to build a nether portal! And explore the nether!" Bruno announced.

"Why can't we get Fugo first and do this with him." Narancia whined.

"I bet this is what Fugo would've wanted." Bruno said.

- fugo time -

"It is literally the opposite of what I want." Fugo said.

- not fugo time -

"No it's not." Narancia said.

"Yes it is, now shut up and let's build this, Narancia build it I have no idea how." Bruno said, at least he can admit his flaws and what he doesn't know.

-Narancia builds portal-

"Ok I did it, now can we go find Fugo?"

"Ok I dId It, NoW cAn We Go FiNd FuGo?!" One of the Sex Pistols imitated.

"It- It's beautiful!" Bruno said. Abbacchio facepalmed.

"It's literally just purple swirls, kinda looks like floated grape jelly, nothing special, Bruno." Abbacchio said. Bruno glared at him.

"Can we make his fast, i'm pretty tired you know!" Abbbacchio grumbled.

"Fine, let's make this quick." Bruno said, moving everyone in closer to the portal.

Little did they know it would be anything but quick.

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holy shit i'm finally done.