Jiminie🍬 added Kookie🍪 and Jinjin🐻 to a group chat!

Jiminie🍬:
GUYS
EMERGENCYYY 🚨🚨🚨🚨
RED CODE RED FDIISJDIDS CODE

Kookie🍪:
what happened?

Jinjin🐻:
crush update?

Jiminie🍬:
MAJORRRR CRUSH UPDATE

Kookie🍪:
Min Yoongi?

Jiminie🍬:
YES MIN YOONGI

Jinjin🐻:
SPILL THE BEANS MY BOY

Jiminie🍬:
YOONGI'S THE GUY I SENT THE NUDE TOO

Kookie🍪:
STFU

Jiminie🍬:
I SWEAR ON MY KIDNEY

Jinjin🐻:
OMGSH DOES HE KNOW

Jiminie🍬:
YES HE TOLD ME

Kookie🍪:
SO WHAT HAPPENED

Jiminie🍬:
HE MADE BREAKFAST FOR ME AND HE TOOK ME HOME AND HE SAID WE CAN KEEP TALKING

Jinjin🐻:
NOOOOOO WAY OMGSH OMGSH

Jiminie🍬:
I KNOW IM SO ECSTATIC

Jinjin🐻:
THATS GOOD im happy for you!

Kookie🍪:
im glad for you Jiminie :) 💖

Jiminie🍬:
thanks Kookie 💛 thanks Jin ❤️

Kookie🍪:
i actually have to go guys
my mom needs me to do some stupid chores
I'll talk to you later
LUV YALL

Kookie🍪 has left the group chat!

Do you know that feeling when you're both happy and jealous? That's how I feel right now. I'm happy for my friends, I really am. Jin is dating Namjoon and Jiminie is getting somewhere with Yoongi.

I can't help, but to feel deeply jealous. I envy my friends so much. It just sucks not being able to have the person you most want.

My mom didn't really want me to do chores. I just didn't want to be in the group chat. I knew I would ruin the mood of the conversation because I'm upset.

Suddenly, I get a notification from Instagram. @kimtaehyungV posted a picture! Without even thinking about it twice I log into Instagram to see the picture.

so this happened today;; went a little lighter 🌝 x #newhaircolor

I stare at the picture in admiration. The picture is so spellbinding it hurts me. How is he so beautiful? How?

I'm the first to like it and I quickly click the comment section.

Jungggkookie: you look so beautiful, like always 💜 @kimtaehyungV"

I wait and wait for him to reply to me, but after twenty minutes of staring at the comment I know he's not going to reply.

I know he saw it. I know he did. He probably just ignored it.

He replied to me once. One time. Then he deleted it. Which technically it wasn't even him.

I get up from my bed and put on a hoodie. After grabbing my wallet and keys I head out. Mom and dad won't be home until later.

I'm too lazy to cook something so I'm going to get something to eat. I call in a small pizza and head to pick it up.

When I arrive at the pizza place I spot black sports car that I perfectly know who it belongs to.

I get out from my car and sprint to the door. "Can I help you sir?" The lady behind the counter asks.

I start looking like crazy for Taehyung. "Yeah umm. I called in an order .. a uh .. small pepperoni pizza. The name is Jeon Jungkook."

"Your total is 8.76."

I hand her a 10 dollar bill, "Can I use the restroom?"

"Yes sir. Here's your ... sir! Your change."

I keep walking to the back of the pizza place to see if there's any sign of Taehyung. There's a lot of people, but I don't see him.

Then I see a video game room at the back of the restaurant. Taehyung is definitely going to be here.

I walk to the room and then I see Chanmi standing beside Taehyung who's playing a shooting game.

"Come onnn Taeeeeee! Let's go. We've been here forever." She whines.

Why is Taehyung here with Chanmi?

"Hold on." He says chewing on gum as he continues to play.

I stand by the door watching this. They haven't noticed me yet.

"We can go to my house. My parents aren't home." She says twirling her hair.

"Okay." He replies turning his attention to her.

She leans down and kisses him.

Full on kisses him.

I feel my heart sink to my stomach and I accidentally hit a game with my foot causing them to look up.

Taehyung and I make eye contact and I feel my chin quiver. I quickly turn around and run out the restaurant.

"Sir! Your pizza!"

I get on my car and wipe my tears with the back of my hand.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

I'm staring at the ground with tears still falling from my eyes. It's been two hours and I'm still crying.

I can't stop crying.

I think I'm going to dehydrate.

I've been thinking of how to tell my friends about it. I want to tell them, but I can't ruin their mood.

They're both happy right now and this would bring them down. I can't do that to them.

The sun is slowly going down and the mosquitos are being annoying as hell. Yet, I'm still sitting here at this old abandoned park that somehow brings me peace.

All of the sudden I hear a car. I look up wiping my face and see a black sports car.

Impossible.

Then Kim Taehyung gets out of the car.

Impossible.

He's walking to me.

Impossible.

He's sitting beside me on the swing. Impossible.

He's looking at me.

Impossible.

"What're you looking at?" He asks slightly offended.

I look down at my lap and he sighs. I glance at him and he's staring straight ahead. Then he looks at me.

"Why're you crying?"

"You're still asking me why?"

"Yeah." He replies causally.

"I'm crying because you kissed Chanmi. It hurt my feelings. You know how I feel about you."

He stares at me as if he's trying to read what I'm thinking about.

"Is she your girlfriend?" I ask almost chocked up.

My heart is in my throat and I feel like I'll start crying again.

"No."

"Then why'd you kiss her?"

"Because I like girls."

My heart stings and I look down at my lap again.

"Did you go to her house?" I ask still staring at my lap.

My eyes are stinging and I feel my fat tears rolling down my cheek.

"Yes."

I sniff wiping my tears. "Oh."

"I didn't fuck her if that's what you're wondering."

"Okay." I reply looking up at him again.

"Why didn't you?"

Why can't I shut up?

He shrugs, "I didn't feel like it."

"But you like girls. And she's a girl. A very pretty girl."

"I know."

"Then?"

He shrugs again and keeps eye contact with me.

"Would you stop crying?"

"I can't help it. You're so mean to me Taehyung. I just want you to be nice to me."

"I'm not mean."

"You hurt my feelings so much."

"It's not my fault you're a crybaby."

This makes me start crying again and I hate myself for it.

I get up from the swing and start walking to the car.

"Wait."

I slightly turn around sniffing.

"Can you stay?"

"So you can keep hurting my feelings?"

"No. I won't."

I know I shouldn't, but he's my weakness. I walk to the swing and sit beside him again. I blink several times to get rid of the stingy feeling.

We sit in silence for a long time. Until he finally speaks up again.

"I like girls."

I turn my head to look at him.

"I like girls." He repeats.

"I - I like girls."

I stay silent as he keeps repeating this.

"But I like you too."

My mind doesn't process this in time, so I'm just staring at him. Waiting for him to laugh at my face and tell me it's just a joke.

Waiting for him to hurt my feelings once again. Instead, he looks at his lap. A pink blush creeping on his cheeks.

He looks ashamed and it makes my heart swell. So I stretch my hand over and hold his. At first I think he's going to pull away, but he doesn't.

He stays still without moving. I give his hand a light squeeze letting him know that it's okay. There's no words I can think of to say so all I do is hold his hand.

After a while he moves his hand and I think he's going to pull away and instead he grabs my hand back.

My stomach flip flops at his touch. His hands are soft and cold. His fingertips are making my skin numb, but I love every second of it.

I don't dare to look at him because I know my face is on flames. My eyes are fixed on the old slide that's in front of us.

My lips slowly curving up into a smile. I try my best to hide it so I bite the inside of my lips hoping I will stop.

But I can't stop smiling. I'm in a world of my own. High on the feeling of love, completely and utterly intoxicated by emotions.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

17/2/15

will i ever have the pleasure to call you mine?