The members of Bangtan Sonyeondan are on their last break before the comeback for 'Tear'. Taehyung is set on enjoying it to the utmost, but things do not turn out in his favour.

Pairing:OT7 but mostly vkook

-----------------------------------

Soft breeze flutters across the sand, tickling Taehyung’s face. He chuckles, the smooth sound escaping him in earnest as he places his hands on the sand behind him and leans back, letting the breeze hit him full. It dances through his raven hair, making the locks ripple gracefully.

For the first time in months, he feels relaxed. Truly relaxed. No staff members prodding and poking, no cameras following his every move, no peers scrutinizing his appearance, and no fans trying to suffocate his breathing space.

For an idol like Kim Taehyung, that was an extreme rarity, and he was going to enjoy it while he could.

Taehyung breaths in the briny air. The salty tang stings his nostrils, but he likes it. The sea is a dazzling blue, shimmering in the afternoon glow. He stares at it, stretching for miles and miles in front of him with no boundaries in sight, seemingly endless.
He is consequently reminded of their very own single, Sea. The hidden track from ‘Her’.

I just started walking and ended up at the sea
I'm looking at the coast from here
There's endless sand and the rough wind
But I'm looking at a desert…….

Even though he’d never openly acknowledged it, Sea held a special place in his heart. Not many people even knew about it because it wasn't broadcasted, and even those who knew didn't actually pay a lot of attention to it. But Taehyung loved it because it spoke of how they'd started as lowly rookies but slowly and painstakingly ascended to where they were now. Combine those words with Yoongi’s spit fire rapping and Taehyung was instantly smitten. Thinking about it brings Taehyung a feeling of nostalgia. He’s proud of how far they've come through all their hardships, but he still feels a pang of longing for those carefree days.

He is dragged out of his reverie when he hears Jimin's voice. He tunes out his thoughts and is suddenly surrounded by the sounds of his members chatter and laughter.

“Taehyung-ah, come sit with us!” Jimin yells. “You’ve been sitting alone staring at who knows what for long enough!”

Taehyung turns away from the sea and looks towards the beach where other members are. He sees Jimin chatting with Seokjin, Namjoon and Hosoek. Yoongi seemed to be laying down, as per usual. Jeongguk could be spotted some distance away, his beloved camera in hand, recording his memories through the lens.

Now that his chain of thoughts got broken anyway, Taehyung decides to go and sit with the others. This was, after all the time they were meant to be spending together with no distractions from the world. So he stands up, brushes down the sand from his shorts and trudges up the beach to where Jimin and the others are sitting.

As he nears them, he realizes what the topic of their conversation is. So much for relaxing. Taehyung plops down next to Jimin with a sigh.

Of course it was their upcoming album, which they were debuting in two weeks’ time. They'd created it as a sequel to last year's ‘Her’ album, which had been an immense success both in Korea and overseas.
So this time around, they had wracked their brains, used all their creativity and created the Tear concept. Taehyung had to admit it was pretty good. It was a big diversion from their concepts so far, but fans wanted something new and different. Something unique. Taehyung hoped that they would be able to deliver to their expectations. After all, ARMY meant everything to them, so they had put double the effort.

“You have a considerable role this comeback, Seokjin hyung” Namjoon is saying. “No offense, but you didn't have a main position before either in choreo or vocal. But this time it's changed. It's good, really, you finally get to showcase your abilities.” Namjoon smiles encouragingly, nodding at Seokjin.

Taehyung shifts his eyes Seokjin. Even though their eldest is usually very composed in front of everyone, he can see that Seokjin seemed a little more anxious. Of course not that anyone could blame him. This time, they were aiming big and it was a first for him. No doubt he'd be a little nervous.

Yoongi lifts his head from where he’s lying a few feet away. He didn’t seem to be sleeping after all.
“We’re all nervous, you know….. This is our very first time debuting a single in a foreign country, and we're talking about the BBMAS here! This is no small feat. But we worked hard for this, we put in everything we could. So I'm sure there's nothing for us to be worried about. We're in this together.” He side eyes Seokjin and continues, “Besides, hyung will do just fine, I'm sure of it.”

Jimin starts nodding his head and Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to join in. Seokjin looks much more relaxed now. Trust Yoongi to know exactly how to placate him. Usually it was Namjoon, as their leader, who did the pep talks and such, but still, he was a kid too. At times like that, Taehyung thought that Yoongi felt responsible. He and Namjoon were considered the wisest of the group, and even though Yoongi was the second eldest, he still took it upon himself to utter calming words for everyone.

Hosoek pipes up as well. “We’re really glad for Seokjin hyung, but let's not forget that this comeback is important for our Taehyungie too.” he turns in Taehyung’s direction and gives him the brightest smile ever.

Taehyung feels shy all of a sudden, even though he was completely alone with his friends who he has lived with him for 7 years. But Hosoek’s gentle smile warmed his heart, and he finds a small smile tugging at his own lips.

Jimin smiles gleefully at him. “Of course, the intro is yours Tae! And it's one hell of an intro too…” he smirks at Taehyung.

He smacks Jimin's arm playfully. “Oh shut up”

Namjoon speaks up again. “Of course we won't forget our Tae, right guys?” he grins at Taehyung. “You also start the title track plus 5 other songs as well including Singularity. Both you and Seokjin hyung have bigger roles to play this time".

“And my baby finally got accepted into the dance line too!” Hosoek practically screams, throwing his arms around Taehyung. Jimin joins in, hugging him from the other side. “Of course, we're so proud of you Tae. If anyone deserves it, it's you.”

Just then, Jeongguk returns from his excursion. He sits down next to Hosoek, tucking away his camera carefully. He glances around cautiously, no doubt curious as to what they were talking about.

“Aah, thank you guys” Taehyung smiles, looking around. “This means so much to me.”

It was true that Taehyung had worked the hardest this comeback. Most of his time had been spent on perfecting his solo. It had been a big step for him since it was his first time doing an intro for an album, and a full album at that. He wanted it to be perfect, meaning he had spent all his time and effort on it. Of course the dancing part was the hardest. But he had pushed his limits, practiced day and night, and finally his exercise had been rewarded. He had been officially accepted into Bangtan's dance line.

It had been his own hard work which gotten him here, but he would never forget those who went through it with him, always close by his side. Hoseok and Jimin had been patient with him, teaching him new things and correcting his mistakes. Especially Jimin had been a pillar of moral support and Taehyung would forever be grateful for that. But even as all these thoughts cross his mind, he searches for a pair of familiar warm doe eyes and locks on to them.

Even though he hadn't spoken out aloud, his expression spells it out clearly. Taehyung had gotten really good at reading Jeongguk’s unspoken words. How proud he is of Taehyung, and how happy it makes him to see Taehyung succeed.

It had been Jeongguk who had practiced with him well past midnight in the dance studio. Everything Taehyung learns from Hoseok and Jimin, Jeongguk had patiently helped him to practice, guiding him through the hard parts. And it was Jeongguk, with Jimin's help, who had dispersed Taehyung’s initial fear of joining the dance Line. It was also the younger who had helped him with practicing Singularity, urging him find his own voice and style to fit it, just like he had helped Taehyung with his first solo Stigma two years ago. Even though Jeongguk had been extremely busy with his own production of Magic shop and editing various media for upcoming events, he had still put the utmost effort to keep Taehyung company through his practice sessions in his spare time, just like Taehyung used to keep Jeongguk company when he worked out alone in the gym.

Jeongguk gives him a smile and Taehyung feels his own face break into his signature boxy grin.

Seokjin leans over and pats Taehyung’s back comfortingly. “Of course we’re all so proud of you.” He looks at the other members. “Taehyung and I promise to do our best. We won't let you down.”

Namjoon looks first at Seokjin, and then at Taehyung. “We know you will. And we will do our best to make sure that we're worthy of your hard work.”

They elapse into silence as everyone lets the words sink in. But the silence is in no way awkward. They're all engrossed in their individual thoughts, but it’s the same thing crossing all their minds. Taehyung thinks it's the familiarity of spending the last 7 years of his life with them. Basically their entire lives revolve around each other and he knows it will continue to be so until they were together.

Taehyung feels a warm feeling spreading through him. He had never given it much thought before, but at that moment, sitting here at the beach with his closest friends who were like family to him, he realizes how lucky he is to have them. He cares deeply about each one of his members and he knows that they feel the same way about him. They’d come a long way together, and the bond they’d created was invincible.

After a while the silence is broken and small chatter starts up again.
Seokjin claps his hands to get their attention. “It's getting dark now. Let's get the bonfire started, shall we? I’ll get the marshmallows!”

Everyone scrambles up hurriedly, their serious mood replaced with lighthearted banter. Taehyung feels a bit giddy when Seokjin mentions the bonfire. Sure, they might be world famous superstars, but they were still young too. And being able to have fun this way brought a whole new level of excitement.

Namjoon gets up and points at the firewood piled on the sand. “Go fetch them, will you Jeongguk-ah? Let's get the-”. But he gets no further as Seokjin cuts across him.

“You Kim Namjoon are not going anywhere.” he narrows his eyes at Namjoon. “I will not have you setting fire to this whole beach and ruining our precious day!”

Namjoon looks flustered about this. “Technically speaking, it's not actually possible to set fire to the whole-”

“Did you not hear me Joon? I said I’m not risking it. You're a walking disaster, especially when it comes to food. So run along now. And stay as far as possible. You can come back once we have everything sorted and can keep you under constant vigilance.” With that, Seokjin dismisses Namjoon, already heading back to his marshmallows.

Taehyung can't hide back a smirk at how forlorn Namjoon looks. He might be their mighty leader, but when it was just them alone, being a regular family like this, he was also another kid who had to listen to his hyung. He shrugs and walks away.

Taehyung looks around but even he sees no place that he could be of help. Even though he wasn't as clumsy as a Namjoon, he was certainly not allowed near food when cooking. And Jeongguk and Yoongi were taking care of the wood. As he has nothing better to do, Taehyung trudges back towards the water’s edge.

The sun was already setting and it was rapidly getting darker. As much as he loved the sea., Taehyung knew that the sea at night was a dangerous place. But still, it had been quite a while since he had last visited, and he knows that he won’t be visiting anytime soon either. He is loathe to give up the final chance he’s getting, so he decides that one last moment wouldn’t hurt.

The dusk sky bathes his surroundings in a deep saffron. Taehyung thinks it beautiful, for he had always been an enthusiast of every kind of art, and deep colour combinations were his forte. He lets the water slide over his feet, tickling his toes. He curls them into the soft downy sand, enjoying the pleasant sensation.

Staring at the sea, Taehyung is once again barraged with a myriad of emotions. He thinks of how the sea is constantly moving, not still even for a fraction of a second. And yet, it also felt like a constant in life. He turns around, casting his eyes over the other members, whom he considered the constants of his life. But at the moment Taehyung feels so completely alone. It wasn't because he had been kicked out until they got the food ready. No, he just felt… strangely detached. He turns back around, and lets his mind wander back to the past.

He realizes how different he is from the Taehyung he used to be when they first debuted.

It had never been his original intention to even become an idol. He had only auditioned to support his friend. But by some fate, he had been the one chosen. Since then his life been like a rollercoaster ride. Just like the sea. Ever changing. And his members had been his constant in life. Sometimes he felt like drifting, but they kept him anchored.

The 17 year old Taehyung had been carefree. He had not known the true burdens or challenges in life. He'd had a bubbly personality, always energetic and enthusiastic. He always used to wear out his hyungs with his nonstop antics. He’d had an eccentric personality, and he didn't give a care in the world what other people thought of his idiosyncrasies. He was kind and sweet, loved his hyungs to death, was crazy with Jiminnie, adored his little Jeonggukie and life was okay back then.

But as they started gaining popularity, life became less easier. As he grew up, he started to realize that everyone did not appreciate him like his members did. They noted his weird habits and thought he was unusual. They found the way he dressed ugly. Especially when they started touring in foreign countries, he started getting conscious about the way he spoke, his actions, his behavior. He learned to control them. Mask his true feelings. He had a hard time opening up anyway, bottling it up and keeping up the poker face was more than easy. He stopped smiling all the time. He rarely laughed in public. He knew fans liked his bad boy appearance so he kept it up for the cameras, kept that face for photos. He started talking less and less and preferred to let the others do the talking instead. And he was less openly affectionate. During fansigns and events, he reminded himself not to be too clingy.

Thinking about his younger days makes him feel frustrated. Even Jimin had commented last year that it was the first time he saw Taehyung act like an actual grown up. He wasn't too happy about it. But this was him now. There was no going back. His bubbly personality was long gone, buried deep within himself with his younger self’s naivety. He had to accept it, and deal with what life put him through because really, it was the only choice.

I know I know my hardship right now
I know I know I’ll overcome
I know I know open me up
It's the place I can rely on
Think positive, I'm swallowing my dry spit.

Taehyung had been so engrossed in his own thoughts that he almost misses the tiny object glinting in last last rays of the setting sun. He wonders whether it's an illusion, but on closer inspection he sees that it's a seashell.

It lies buried in the sand, shimmering under the clear water. It's has a purplish hue, and Taehyung thinks that it's the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. It lies there, so innocent and pretty, calling to him desperately. No matter how much he acts to be grown up, right then, with no one to judge him and no one to see, the curious boy buried deep down inside Taehyung reawakens. Suddenly he sees the world in childlike wonder, filled with beauty and possibilities. And he wants it. Wants to pick it up and keep it as a treasure.

Without thinking, he starts wading forward. The logical part of him reminds him that the it’s almost dark now, that the current was getting stronger, and that no one was around. But still he pushes forward, his youthful curiosity winning over. The water reaches up to his calves, and he can see the seashell clearly. He could pick it up easily. All he had to do was stretch a little.

And so he does. He bends down, carefully wrapping his long slender fingers around his hidden treasure. It feels cold in his hand and he is suddenly hit with a sense of foreboding. Taehyung hears a rushing sound in his ears, gradually increasing, the crescendo hitting him in full force. He snaps his head up just in time to see the gigantic wave crash down on top of him.

It's dark. Everything is dark. Taehyung tries to squint through his eyes. But everywhere he looks, all he can make out is endless water, swirling around. He feels weightless. His body is numb. He doesn't actually feel anything. He tries to move his limbs, but his nerves don’t respond. He feels like a statue floating around aimlessly.

For a second, Taehyung wonders whether he's dead. Whether that purple seashell had actually been his demise.

As this thought occurs, he feels like laughing out loud at the irony of it. Just a few years back, in the days of Hwayangyeonhwa, he had been in a similar situation. Back then, he had willingly given himself up to the water. But that had all been an act. This time, the water had claimed him without his consent, and it was all so very real.

But Taehyung just feels empty. For once he doesn't feel like struggling. He was so dreadfully tired. Maybe this wasn't so bad. If this was fate, who was he to fight against it? Maybe he should just let go, be free. Did he really have a reason to anchor himself to this world?

Taehyung is starting to feel delirious, but the rational part of his brain answers him. Yes. Yes you do. You have something to survive for. One by one, his members flash by in his mind’s eye. Jimin’s sweet face and eyesmile, Seokjin’s ridiculous windshield wiper laugh, Namjoon’s dimpled smile, Hosoek’s smile brighter than the sun, Yoongi’s smile as he played the piano, and Jeongguk. His Jeonggukie with those adorable bunny teeth and eyes crinkling at the corners as his face stretched into a smile.

And he thinks, No. He couldn't give up. He couldn't leave them. If he gave up now, what would happen to them? They’d never be the same again. All six of the others’ lives depended on him. He was not going to disappoint them or hurt them.

Taehyung regains his senses as he finally emerges from his shocked state. He starts thrashing around blindly, but he could not fathom which way was up or down. Panic sets in as he realizes that he needs to breathe. He needs air now or he was going to suffocate. He kicks more frantically, trying to find a way out.
Something warm hit his back and he jerks forward. As if in a trance, he feels a pair of strong arms wrap around him, tugging him up by the armpits, lifting him out of the water.

As soon as his head breaks the surface, Taehyung takes a deep lungful of air, nearly choking on his own saliva in his haste to satiate his need. His body is lifted out of the water and as the cold wind suddenly pierces his defenses, he starts to shiver like a leaf caught in a gust. His teeth start to chatter and he curls in on himself, scrunching his eyes shut.

The world and its sensations return slowly. Taehyung hears a jumble of voices all around him, but his brain refuses to acknowledge them. Everything is much too sharp and his senses are on fire.

“Taehyung, Oh my god TAEHYUNG! ARE YOU OKAY? ANSWER ME!” he registers Jimin's voice at the back of his mind as he winces at the loud noise. Everyone seems to be talking at once it hurts his ears.

He feels himself being lowered gently until his back touches the soft sand. The hands let go of him and he finally relaxes on to his back.

No sooner had he been put down that a different pair of hands start shaking his shoulders. “Taehyung-ah! Wake up! Open your eyes, will you!”

The hands are roughly shoved aside.

“Calm down Hoseok! Are you trying to throttle the kid!?” Yoongi’s voice sounds strained.

But still Taehyung doesn't move. His whole body feels so raw and he wants the voices to go away. To leave him alone. He just wants to roll into a tight ball and sleep.

But unfortunately, the fates above decide to deny his wishes.

“Everyone, calm down okay?” Namjoon says. “Just get back, give him some space.” Taehyung feels someone crouch down next to him and a hand lightly touches his face.

“Taehyung. Taehyung-ah. Are you awake?” Namjoon sounds calm but there is an undertone of worry. “If you can hear me, please open your eyes.”

Taehyung loathes to move even a muscle, but he guesses that he couldn’t ignore his hyung anymore. So he slowly unscrunches his eyes and cracks them open. Six faces come into focus, all peering down at him, equally etched with worry.

As soon as he takes a good look, Jimin is on him. “TAE! TAETAE, YOU'RE OKAY! I was so scared-”
but he gets no further as he is yanked back by Seokjin.

“You heard Joon. Give him some space Chim. He's probably in shock. Don't make it worse for him.”
Jimin hangs his head but his eyes never leave Taehyung’s prone figure.

Namjoon heaves a sigh of relief. “Thank god you're okay. How are you feeling? Did you swallow any water? Can you speak? Do you-”

“Namjoon” Seokjin lays a placating hand on his shoulder. “I got this.” he gently shoves Namjoon aside and kneels next to Taehyung. “Can you sit up Tae?”

Taehyung nods weakly and Seokjin helps him up. He feels dizzy as the blood rushes down, but after the initial discomfort he feels marginally better. They fuss over him for a while and after making absolutely sure that he was okay, they start to relax. Luckily, he hadn't swallowed any water, so he was mostly fine.
He was just in shock and he was still shivering, but otherwise Taehyung thinks that he’ll probably survive.

“I’ll go get some towels to dry him. Until then, give him some body heat before he freezes to death.” Seokjin commands, rushing away.

Jimin is instantly upon him again like a cuddly Koala and Taehyung leans into him gratefully. Just then Jeongguk steps forward as well and makes as if to sit next to Taehyung but Jimin shoves him away. “Are you crazy Jeongguk? You're gonna make him catch hypothermia with your wet clothes!”

Jeongguk. The only person who hadn't uttered a single word yet. Taehyung snaps his head up and actually takes in Jeongguk's appearance. He hadn't noticed before, but Jeongguk was dripping wet just as much as he himself was. He just stands there, his dark hair plastered to his forehead and his clothes clinging to his body, accentuating his well muscled chest and legs.

A surge of guilt washes over Taehyung as he realizes that of course, it was Jeongguk who had dragged him out of the water. No one else would have been able to lift Taehyung up so effortlessly anyway.

Hurt flashes across Jeongguk’s face. “Sorry.” he says in a timid voice. “I forgot that my clothes were wet as well.”

Taehyung feels a spark of annoyance. The boy had literally saved his life and Jimin was snapping at him to get away. Before Jeongguk could step back, Taehyung reaches out and lightly threads his fingers through the younger’s. Jeongguk tenses in surprise but then his eyes soften as they lock on Taehyung’s own.

Seokjin gets back with the towels. Hoseok grabs one and starts rubbing Taehyung’s hair fiercely as if it would miraculously warm him up. Seokjin drapes another over his shoulders. The others gather around him again.

“It was pure luck that Guk saw you go down.” Yoongi says, putting an arm around Jeongguk's shoulders. “Before we even realized what happened, he was already sprinting down the beach and dived right in after you.”

Taehyung feels his chest filling with warmth. He looks at Jeongguk, trying to convey how grateful he is, but Jeongguk doesn’t meet his eyes, fiddling with the hem of his shirt instead. Before he could say anything, Namjoon stands up.

“I'm going up to the hotel. We have to alert manager Sejin and then find a doctor.” He turns to leave.
Upon hearing the words Taehyung starts to panic. His hand shoots out and grabs Namjoon’s hand. Namjoon turns around quizzically.

“Hyung please.” He tries to stand up. Jeongguk pulls him to his feet and he lets go of the younger to wrap his hands around both Namjoon’s wrists. “Please don't tell manager Sejin.” he pleads, eyes wide.

Namjoon frowns at him. “Tae-”

“The company won't be amused if they find out.” Taehyung feels tears threatening to spill now. “Bang PD-nim will be furious. He’ll never leave us alone ever again!” He lets go of Namjoon’s hands and slumps back. All six of them are looking at him now. He hangs his head.

“He will never let us have time for ourselves. There will always be someone trained to keep an eye on us. And….” he takes a shaky breath and continues “I’d never allow that to happen because of me. It's…. It's s all my fault. My own! I should have been more careful. But I don't want you to lose your freedom as well because of my own stupidity.”

Namjoon’s frown softens a bit at his words. “I understand what you're trying to say, but you need medical attention Taehyung. We need to tell someone to get them to contact a doctor.”

“But I'm fine hyung! I really am.” Namjoon looks at him dubiously so he tries again.

“Look, all I need is a warm shower and a good night's sleep. I’ll be good as new tomorrow morning!” he grins expectantly, trying to emphasize his point.

Namjoon considers this for a moment, then finally seems to cave in. “Alright fine.” he sighs. “But the first signs of any illness, even a cold, and we call the doctor right away, agreed?”

Taehyung nods his head enthusiastically. He knows that even Namjoon doesn't want to risk telling anyone unless it was an emergency. Taehyung can almost feel the tense atmosphere calm down, as everyone seems to let out the breath they’ve been holding. Taehyung sags against Hosoek, the relief evident on his face.

Now that they were out of the danger zone, Seokjin takes the lead again. “Alright guys, let's clear up. Jeongguk, Jimin, you go get rid of the wood. Yoongi, help me clear out the food please. And Hobi-”

Taehyung interrupts him. “Hyung, why are you clearing up? What about the bonfire?”

Seokjin turns to him. “Taehyung-ah, I know you wanted the bonfire so badly, but you're being downright ridiculous now. Look at the state you're in! You need to shuck out those wet clothes and get some rest, for goodness sake!”

Taehyung blinks in confusion. “What? No! That's not what I meant! Of course I'm going to go get some sleep. I mean, why aren't you guys having the bonfire?”

There's a moment of silence. Then Hosoek speaks up. “How can you even imagine such a thing, Taehyungie? You really think we’d continue without you as if nothing happened!?”

“That's not what I meant.” Taehyung runs a hand through his damp hair, a nervous habit. “You know that's not what I meant. I already told you, I don't want to ruin your happiness. And right now, that’s exactly what’s happening. This is happening because of me. And I feel guilty okay? Really really guilty. If I had taken care of myself, you guys wouldn't have had to suffer too.” he takes a deep breath, and looks at each one of them.

“So right now, I want you to enjoy the last part of our vacation. We slaved ourselves off for months, and after the comeback, we’ll barely have enough time to breathe. This is the last chance for a long while and I am not letting you miss it. So please? I won't even be able to rest properly if I can't cope with the guilt.”

Jimin lets out an exasperated sigh. “You and your words Tae. How can we even say no when you put it that way?”

“I'm not putting it that way. I’m telling you the truth.”

Hosoek furrows his brows. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? Someone should stay with you. We'll take turns….”

“Hyung no.” Taehyung is adamant. “If any of you try to come with me, I swear I won't sleep a wink out of guilt. And you all know how stubborn I can be.”

Unfortunately for them, they did know how stubborn he was. So they reluctantly agree.
“But keep your phone with you at all times, you hear me?” Seokjin chastises. “If you need anything at all or if you start feeling even slightly ill, you call us immediately. And that's an order!”

Taehyung nods his head meekly. “Okay okay I will! Now please stop fussing, hyung. I feel like a five year old.”

“But you admitted yourself a while back that your mental age was only 3, didn't you Tae?”

Taehyung turns and glares at Jimin.

“I'm going to my room now. Please enjoy the bonfire for me!” he tells the others, ignoring Jimin. He turns around to leave, but is interrupted by a stern voice.

“Taehyung?”

Taehyung freezes, because he knows that tone. It means he’s in trouble. He tuns back around like a rabbit caught in headlights. “Yes, Namjoon hyung?”

“Don’t think you’re being let off that easily. We’re going to talk about this tomorrow morning after you’re well rested.”

Taehyung’s heart plummets down to his stomach, but he tries to keep his expression calm. “Yeah sure. Whatever you want.” He says nonchalantly. But he doesn’t stick around to find out more. He bids them goodnight, gives Jimin one last nasty look and starts trudging back up towards the hotel.

Taehyung hadn’t recovered completely yet. His feet are still a little unsteady and he stumbles a few times on the slippery sand. He hears soft footsteps behind him and he stops in his tracks.

“You're obviously not fit to walk the whole way up to your room. Let me carry you.” Jeongguk says, sidling up to him.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I'm not an invalid, Guk. What did I tell you just now? Go enjoy the bonfire with the others!”

Jeongguk shrugs. “I need to change out of my clothes anyway. Besides, when was the last time you actually refused a piggyback ride, huh?” he smirks, eyes dancing with mirth. “It used to be next to impossible to get you off my back!”

Taehyung sighs again. “Okay fine, since you're going to your room anyway.” Truth be told, he is grateful that he doesn't have to walk all the way. His limbs feel like jelly.

Jeongguk grins and lowers himself down. Taehyung wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and holds on tight as the younger effortlessly hoists him up onto his back. Taehyung tightens his legs around Jeongguk’s waist as the younger starts trudging through the sand again. If Taehyung is heavy, Jeongguk doesn't seem to notice it, bouncing him up and down lightly. He tightens his arms around the younger’s neck more securely. Jeongguk’s wet clothes feel slightly chilly under him, but he doesn't mind too much. He buries his face in Jeongguk’s neck. The younger smells of seawater and a slight musk of sweat.

They walk in companionable silence. After a while, Taehyung starts to get drowsy and he closes his eyes. He only opens them again when Jeongguk had brought him to his room and whispered in his ear to wake him up.

“We’re here hyung. You’d better change those damp clothes before you catch pneumonia or something". He gently slides Taehyung down to the ground.

“Mmmmmf.” Taehyung says incoherently. His eyes are starting to droop again. Jeongguk chuckles. He carefully disentangles Taehyung’s arms from his neck.

“I’ll run the shower for you. Go find your clothes and towel.”

Jeongguk steps into the bathroom, fiddles with the controls and turns on the shower. The cubicle slowly starts to fill with steam as the running water warms up. He comes back into the room to find Taehyung exactly where he had left him.

Jeongguk huffs in exasperation. “You're hopeless hyung. You know that right?” But there's no bite in his words. Taehyung feels himself smiling deliriously.

Jeongguk carefully peels off Taehyung’s wet t-shirt and shorts, leaving him only his boxers. He then reaches
into a drawer, tugs out a towel and pushes Taehyung into the bathroom.

“Now go and wash because I am definitely not going to scrub all that sand off of you.” he says, pushing the towel onto Taehyung’s hands. Taehyung sticks out his tongue at him playfully as Jeongguk closes the bathroom door.

The hot water feels nice on Taehyung’s skin. His aching limbs had thawed and he was feeling much better already. After scrubbing all the sand and grime away, he closes off the water and steps out of the shower.

As he opens the bathroom door, he half expects Jeongguk to still be there. His face falls when the younger is nowhere to be seen. Of course he must have changed and gone back down to the beach. After all, Taehyung himself had told him to go. That's what he’d wanted. But a tiny part of him is disappointed that Jeongguk left. Wishes that he was still here.

Taehyung pushes the thought out of his mind and walks over to the closest. After pulling on new clothes, he doesn't feel exhausted anymore. The hot water had definitely done its work. Taehyung slumps down on the bed. He pulls up his feet and sits cross legged, propping his chin on his hand.

Suddenly the door clicks open. Taehyung looks up expecting room service but instead is met with Jeongguk. His eyes widen in surprise. He’s changed into fresh clothes and he is still toweling his damp hair. As Jeongguk closes the door and comes over, Taehyung can smell his shampoo.

“You had a wash?” Taehyung asks incredulously. “Aren't you going back down to the beach?”

Jeongguk throws the towel over a chair and sits down on the bed next to him. “No”

Taehyung turns around so he facing Jeongguk. “Gukkie, I told you to go back. Why didn't you?”

“Because I don't want to, hyung. Not right now. Stop telling me what to do. I'm not a kid anymore.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “But-”

“Oh for goodness sake!” Jeongguk gets up from the bed. “If you really hate having me here that much, just say so.” he stands up and makes to leave. But Taehyung grabs his wrist.

“Jeez Guk! Of course I don't meant that! Why so cranky?”

Jeongguk huffs at this, but still lets Taehyung pull him onto the bed again. He cautiously sits down but Taehyung notices his change in demeanour. He looks different from moments ago. He shuffles his feet but doesn't meet Taehyung’s eyes.

After a moment of fiddling, Jeongguk reaches into his pocket and takes out something. He reaches out and drops it onto Taehyung’s outstretched palm. Taehyung shifts his eyes towards the object and his mouth opens in shock.

“You were clutching it tightly when I dragged you out. I figured that this little beauty was your ticket to misfortune?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow.

Taehyung looks at him sheepishly. “This-um-well-uh.. Yeah. You're right….. This was it.”

Jeongguk holds his stare for a moment then looks away. He looks pissed off.

Taehyung reaches out his hand. “Jeongguk what are you so angry about? Tell me please…”

Jeongguk's breath comes out in short rapid bursts. He looks scary, even to Taehyung.

“Guk….?”

At that he finally snaps. He whips his face towards Taehyung, eyes blazing. “How could you be so careless, hyung? You could have been seriously hurt! Or worse!”

Taehyung flinches back in shock. He had only seen Jeongguk this angry on a very few rare occasions. But the worst part was that this time, the anger was directed at him.

“I-” he stutters. There's so much he wants to say but the words seem to be stuck in his throat.

“Do you even know how panicked everyone was? How worried I was? You were so limp when I laid you down on the sand. I was so scared! You-” Jeongguk inhales sharply, biting his bottom lip in frustration. He averts his eyes, but Taehyung had finally seen his glassy eyes which were slowly starting to redden.

Taehyung had considered himself strong. Mentally, at least, if not very much physically. He was always good at withstanding blows, was good at keeping the mask on. But even to the most practiced actor, there is one unraveling point. And for Taehyung, there is nothing more painful than this.

Taehyung thinks that a knife in the heart would have hurt less. He had worried his hyungs to death, made his best friend scared for his life. And he had made Jeongguk cry. They all cared about him so much, and right now Taehyung wishes that the earth would swallow him up so he could repent his guilt.

Taehyung did not cry, not often anyway. But as a single tear rolls down his cheek, he feels as if he's wronged his members and all he wants to do is apologize to everyone for what he’s done.

“I'm sorry. I'm…. Je-Jeongguk-ah.....” he chokes back on a sob, the words dying on his lips. He feels shaky, and his limbs suddenly feel heavy.

But for the second time that day, the same pair of strong arms wrap around Taehyung, anchoring him to the world, not letting him slip. Jeongguk pulls Taehyung towards his chest and Taehyung buries his face in the younger’s neck as wet tracks streak his cheeks.

“Hyung…… Tae…. Tae it's alright. Please don't cry. I’m sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I didn't mean to… I was…. I was so scared… Just thinking about it made me lose control. I’m so sorry”

Taehyung shakes his head, his face still hidden. “No, it's not your fault Jeongguk. I should have been more careful.”

Jeongguk pulls him closer and tightens his arms around his shoulders. Taehyung is surprised because the younger isn't usually this affectionate, but still, he’s definitely not one to complain.

Jeongguk rubs soothing circles on his back. “Let's just forget it now okay? There's no need to talk about it anymore. Just….. don't ever let happen again, okay? Please don't scare me again like that.”

Taehyung's hand clenches in Jeongguk’s shirt. “I’ll be more careful Gukkie. I’ll take better care of myself. I promise.”

They stay like that for a while, rocking back and forth. At that moment Taehyung feels like he's the head of controversy about their latest album. It was true that true love was very hard to find, and Tear discussed the pains of lost love. But at that moment, Taehyung couldn't be more annoyed with their title. Because what he felt at that moment was no fake love. Love didn't get any purer than this.

That day had been an unlucky one for Taehyung, but the one good thing that did come out of it was that Taehyung finally got to understand their concept better. He was able to convince himself one hundred percent that his members were the best thing he'd found in his life, and that their love for him was stronger than anything else. The bond the seven of them shared with each other was unique and beautiful.

Jeongguk's hand suddenly stops its ministrations and Taehyung involuntarily lets out a grunt of annoyance. He could feel Jeongguk chest rumble as he lets out a low chuckle.

“Come on Tae, you need to rest now. I’m tired too. Carrying a potato sack for so long is bound to take its toll, even on me.”

“Yah, who’re you calling a potato sack, huh? Taehyung draws back as he throws a punch over Jeongguk's arm. But the younger just keeps on smirking at him. Fortunately the tension had dissipated and they were back to their normal selves, filled with playful banter.

“Seriously though, you do need to sleep now.” Jeongguk gets up from the bed and lightly pushes Taehyung so that he's lying down. But Taehyung’s heart skips a beat. Was Jeongguk leaving? Before even thinking, he reaches out and wraps his hand around Jeongguk's wrist. The younger looks down at him with a puzzled expression.

“Please don't go” Taehyung whispers. Normally, he wouldn't have voiced it aloud, no matter how much he wanted it, but today he's too tired to pretend. Today he wants comfort and cuddles.

Jeongguk smiles gently. “Who said I was?”

Taehyung’s hand goes slack as his eyes widen in surprise. Jeongguk lets out a breathy laugh at the expression. He goes over to the chair, grabs his wet towel and drops it in the laundry basket. He then goes over to the windows, drawing the blinds closed and switches off the light.

Taehyung can hear his feet padding across the floor, then the bed dips as Jeongguk climbs in next to him. He scoots back to give the younger enough room, then waits until Jeongguk is settled comfortably before turning on his side to face him.

Even though the lights were switched off, there was a silver of moonlight filtering in through the drawn blinds so that Taehyung could make out the younger man’s face clearly.

“Hey Gukkie? “

“Mmh?”

Taehyung reaches out and fiddles with Jeongguk's earring, a peculiar habit of his. The silver hoop glints in the moonlight.

“I never got to thank you for saving me….”

Jeongguk blinks in surprise. “Oh….. Hey, it's no big deal.”

Taehyung pouts at him. “How can you say that Jeonggukie? Of course it's a big deal! You saved a damsel in distress!”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “You're not a damsel, hyung. You're a fully grown man.”

“My point is” Taehyung cuts across him. “that you saved my life! From here on I declare you my knight in shining armor!”

“Hyung!”

“A handsome, strong and brave young man-”

“Stop embarrassing me!”

“So fearless in the face of danger-”

“Oh my god I swear I'm gonna strangle you!”

Taehyung twists out of Jeongguk’s grabbing hands, laughing so hard that it only takes moments for Jeongguk to join in as well. The two boys lie there side by side, chortling like a pair of teenagers. But to Taehyung, this is natural. This was the real Jeongguk and him together.

At last the laughter dies down, and they're both left panting. After moment Taehyung continues in a serious tone. “Really though Guk. Thank you.”

Jeongguk turns his head to face Taehyung and nods. “It’s not just me. Every single one of the others would have done that for you too. It was mere chance that I was the one who got to you first. The others were right behind.” He says,” I am the fastest, after all.” He then adds as an afterthought, smirking at Taehyung.

“Oh really? Were you really that fast to get to me so quick? Or was it because you couldn't take your eyes off me, even for a moment, that you happened to notice me go down first?”

Taehyung is just joking, but as he says it Jeongguk chokes back on his words. Taehyung momentarily freezes because, holy shit, had he actually hit home?

Jeongguk finally gets his breathing back under control. “Ha, you wish” he scoffs, but Taehyung sees that the look Jeongguk gives him says otherwise. He feels an inexplicable surge of affection for the younger.

Suddenly Taehyung is annoyed at the distance separating them. He reaches towards Jeongguk and snakes his arms around the younger man, and latches onto him, craving affection.

Jeongguk doesn't push him away, instead circles one arm around Taehyung’s shoulder, and then starts carding his other hand through Taehyung’s silky black locks. Jeongguk’s body is warm and Taehyung snuggles in gratefully to his own personal heater, leaning his head in the crook of the younger’s neck. Like this, Taehyung feels safe.

“I'm really dreading tomorrow, you know.”

Jeongguk's hand stops mid stroke. “What? Why?”

“Why? Because I’m sure that the hyungs and Jiminnie are going to give me a lecture of a lifetime! Plus the individual attention too. Oh lucky me.”

Jeongguk snorts at this. “Well, whose fault is that, huh?”

“Jeongguk you're supposed to be on my side here!”

Jeongguk holds in his laughter. “Okay okay. Fine.” his hand starts stroking again. “I’ll stay by your side all the way through it okay? Don't worry.”

Taehyung beams at him. “That’s my Gukkie!”

Jeongguk’s lips stretch into a small smile. His two front teeth poke out and Taehyung has the sudden urge to boop them. After a moment, he tugs at the end of Taehyung’s mullet. “This is cute, you know. You should definitely let it grow.”

“Really? I’m starting to doubt whether the fans will like it.”

“It's not about how they want you to look. It's about how you want yourself to look. You have every right to it. They should learn to appreciate it.” Jeongguk pats the soft downy hair. “If you're so unsure, I’ll announce it for everyone to hear.”

Taehyung beams at him. “You’d actually do that?”

“Of course” Jeongguk says through a yawn. “I’ll find a chance for it.”

“Oh yeah? If so, I'll tell everyone how hot your abs are.”

Taehyung peeks at Jeongguk to see what the younger’s reaction is, but to his immense disappointment he finds that Jeongguk had already fallen asleep. One could never trust Jeongguk around a bed. That boy was much too prone to sleep.

Taehyung reaches out and brushes back Jeongguk’s bangs from his forehead. “I really will tell everyone, Gukkie.” he smiles to himself. “Don't say I didn't warn you.”

He lightly trails his fingers across the younger’s cheek. He looks so relaxed asleep that Taehyung can't help but feel glad because Jeongguk had been working hard these past few months, just as much as him.

Ever since he had first met Jeongguk, the younger had held a special place in his heart. Jeongguk had been a shy little kid, and Taehyung had adored that bunny smile more than anything. Taehyung had helped Jeongguk break out of his shell and in turn the younger had looked up to him. It hadn't been long before they were close friends. In the early days Taehyung had considered Jeongguk his long lost little brother. They had been inseparable those days. But as time passed, their platonic love had blossomed into something more. Taehyung couldn't remember exactly when he had stopped thinking of Jeongguk as his little sibling. It had probably been sometime around Hwayangyeonhwa, he couldn't be sure. It was the time when Jeongguk had actually started looking like a grown up and had started stealing noonas’ hearts not as the little baby bun but as the good looking and exceptionally talented Golden Maknae of Bangtan Sonyeondan.

Things had been okay for a while. He hadn't realized then, and neither had Jeongguk. But it was never easy. Taehyung’s feelings had grown, and at first he’d been scared. Scared of the consequences. Scared of his future. They were being much too clingy on camera, and he had been warned. Many times.

And so he'd backtracked. The Wings era had been busy for all of them, and Hwarang shootings had been a welcome distraction for Taehyung because it meant he had to spend less and less time with the members. Less time with one specific member. He thought that it would work. He had wanted it to work. Soon Taehyung gained popularity in his acting career, and everyone was fawning over his exceptional good looks and perfectly symmetrical face.

On his part, Jeongguk had been recognized for his multitude of talents, he had started working out much more seriously than ever before, and had grown ‘hotter by the day’ in Taehyung’s eyes.

They had built their own worlds and had slowly but inevitably grown apart. Of course Taehyung’s friendship with Jimin remained unchanged, but his busy schedule had even cut Jimin off at times.
Taehyung had gotten what he wanted, but he hadn't anticipated the pain that came with it. Not just him but Jeongguk as well. The younger had started spending less time with them, and stayed locked up in his room for days on end. He had been fortunate to get the single room in their dorm and he was using that as an excuse to shut himself out of the world. The hyungs had been seriously worried about him then. And Taehyung had grown more detached. He didn't smile anymore. He didn't join in on conversation. He and Jeongguk barely spoke to each other.

They had spent almost a year like this, but soon Taehyung had realized that it was a futile attempt. That had been one of the hardest times of his life. But in the end, he had decided that no one else had the right to control his life. So had dumped all pretense, and reached out to Jeongguk again.

From that time onwards it had been slow healing. But they had made it. It had been an arduous process, and they discovered that they had missed important aspects of each others’ lives the time they spent apart. But that was in the past and they had grown back together and now they were closer than ever.

But it was never the same. Back then, they had been boys, young and carefree. But now they were both fully grown adults. Their world was bigger. They were no longer the unrecognized rookies but internationally popular now. And their every move was scrutinized by millions of people. So they had to be careful, unlike before. They were quite intimate with each other, the difference was that the cameras never saw it. Because no matter what, his members mattered to him, and Taehyung would never do anything to ruin the image they’d built up with so much hardship. One slip from him and it would come crashing down. Of course he knew that many of the fans adored them and supported them, but still, it wasn't enough. So he wasn't risking it. He'd keep it up for Bangtan's sake. For Jeongguk. For himself.

Lying there in the dark with Jeongguk’s breath tickling his face and Jeongguk’s heartbeat thrumming with his own, he still isn't sure what they were. It was a given that he loved Jeongguk with everything he had. He cared for the younger more than himself. Their love was true, but what kind of love, he honestly didn’t know.

His heart didn't stutter when he looked at Jeongguk. He didn't feel like he couldn't breathe or get butterflies in his stomach. But his lips would stretch up into a wide smile whenever he saw him. Instead of butterflies what he felt was warmth spreading through his whole being, lightning up ever dark corner. He felt a sense of completeness when Jeongguk threaded his fingers through his. Lying there in the younger’s embrace felt like the most natural thing to do. It felt like happiness, it felt like home.

Taehyung wasn't sure, and it had been an unspoken agreement between him and Jeongguk that things had to remain that way. They were idols, and they were on the track of gaining fame by the hour. Their whole lives were recorded on camera. It was only moments like this that they truly had for themselves. So, with the state they were in, things could not progress. So for now, things had to remain unchanged. As much as he loves being with his members and following his passion, he still dreams of a day when it might be possible. When all this was over and he was free to be his own man.

Taehyung lets out a deep sigh, letting his hands curl onto Jeongguk's chest. Right now, he was content with what he had. Maybe one day, years from now, he might get a chance to actually make it something more. Something real. Make sense of his feelings. They might continue to grow, or he might lose them. The future is unpredictable, and Taehyung decides not to ponder on the unknown. What he has is hope, and as his Hobi hyung liked to say, hope is sometimes the only salvation you have. Don't lose hope, and someday, things will work out for you. Taehyung decides to believe that. He has his Jeonggukie with him, and right now, that's all that matters. He hopes that the future would let him have his happiness. But that is for the fates to decide. He’ll just keep on hoping.

The exhaustion of the day finally catches up on Taehyung, and his eyes slowly drift shut as well. Soon the only sound is their synchronized breathing, their chests rising and falling rhythmically. But in their dreams, there are two boys who wander together, hopefully awaiting a future where they could open up and let their feelings guide them instead of their fears. Aspiring that the future they dreamt of would actually become a possibility.

Where there is hope, there is always hardship
Where there is hope, there is always despair
We need to be in despair for all our hardships...

----------------------------
Thank you so much for reading! I would really appreciate your votes and comments, so please let me know how you felt about this. :)