Taehyung’s POV
Being a an Idol in a very well known KPOP band can be very stressful at times. We’re currently on tour, doing almost two interviews a day and also performing before going to the next place. Usually I would go to one of the other members to try and relieve the stress, but lately they’ve all seemed busy…
We had about two hours to rest before we were due to be on the stage for our next concert and I was starting to stress out. The last concert we did, I messed up a few times because I wasn’t feeling the best but now all I can think about is how I might do it again. I walked into Namjoon’s dressing room, hoping to get some reassurance from the leader. Unfortunately, I noticed that he was also on the phone.
“Hang on a sec. What’s up Tae, I’m a bit busy right now. Is it something important or can it wait,” he asked me.
“Uh, no it’s not important. Sorry for bothering you,” I said plastering a smile on my face. He nodded and immediately turned back around and continued to talk to whoever was on the phone. I sighed and left the room, going to find one of the other members. I found Jimin and Jungkook sitting together on a couch and filming a video, probably for the armies on twitter.
“Hey guys ca-.”
“Ugh Tae, you just interrupted our video. Now we have to restart again,” Jungkook said rolling his eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to talk to you guys,” I said quietly as I looked down. I shouldn’t have interrupted them, I should have just waited.
“Well can you please go away so we can redo the video? We’ll talk to you later,” Jimin said with a small sigh.
“Y-yeah sure,” I nodded quickly.
“Thanks, I wasn’t trying to be rude by the way. We just really need to finish this,” he added, giving me a soft smile. I just nodded and left, seeing if I could have luck with one of the other’s. the next person I found was Hobi but he was practicing backstage and he never likes getting interrupted during practice so I didn’t even bother asking. Jin was talking to one of the stylist as they were doing his hair and makeup.
“Hey Hyung, are you going to be finished anytime soon,” I asked him.
“No, he’s still got a little while to go,” his stylist replied.
“Why,” he asked me.
“I just wanted to talk for a bit,” I replied.
“Oh, well I’ll have other stuff to do after this as well so I won’t be able to talk but I’ll talk to you after the concert. Unless it’s a really pressing issue,” he said.
“No, no it’s not pressing,” I said with a small sigh.
“Alright, relax for a bit Tae,” he said before he began to talk to the stylist again. The last one left is Yoongi, which means I’ll basically have no luck because he isn’t usually one to talk before concerts, he usually just keeps to himself. I knew exactly where I would find him and sure enough, I found him in his room sitting at his desk and doing something on his computer. He looked over at me when I walked in.
“Tae, I’m really busy right now,” he said quickly.
“Right, sorry,” I said with a sigh. I felt tears brim at my eyes as I realized that none of the boys would be able to help calm down my stresses, I was all alone. I moved towards the door but was cut off.
“Tae come here.” I was surprised but turned around and walked over to Yoongi. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down onto his lap so I was straddling him.
“I can’t talk but stay here and keep me company,” he said. I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, settling my head down near his shoulder. I took a deep breath and slowly felt some of the stress leave my body, letting me relax a little. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I’m not complaining, he’s not telling me to go away. Suga’s never been one for talking about feelings so this is sort of his way of saying that he’s here for me.
Suga’s POV
I was in the middle of fixing up one of the songs of been writing at the moment when I heard the door open. I looked up to see Taehyung standing at the door.
“Tae, I’m really busy right now,” I said quickly. I need to try and get this song done as soon as possible. I saw his face drop as soon as I said that and I was confused.
“Right, sorry,” he said sighing. I saw his eyes water a little and his voice was a little shaky. I’m not sure what exactly was going on his head at that time but I could tell that he shouldn’t be left alone.
“Tae come here,” I called out as he went to leave. He turned back around and walked over to me. I grabbed his arm gently and pulled him down onto my lap so he was facing me with his one leg on either side of my waist.
“I can’t talk but stay here and keep me company,” I said, trying to help him relax. He was a little tense at first but soon relaxed with a sigh. He nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck, resting his head on my shoulder. We sat in silence for a while, Tae just sitting on my lap and relaxing while I continued to do my work. After about 20 minutes I felt all of the tension leave his body and heard his breathing soften and completely even out. I smiled to myself, realizing that he had fallen asleep. I continued to work until the door opened again. I swivelled around in my, making sure not to wake Tae and saw Namjoon standing there.
“What’re you guys doing,” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Keep your voice down. Tae’s sleeping and I’m working on a song why,” I asked.
“We’ve gotta start getting ready, so can you please wake him up,” he asked me.
“Oh, alright,” I nodded.
“Wait a sec, I’m taking a picture of this. It’s too cute to not capture, Yoongles gone soft,” he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes but allowed him to take the picture.
“We’ll be out in a sec,” I said rolling my eyes as he left.
Taehyung’s POV
As it turns out, I feel asleep when I was with Yoongi so when I was woken back up, we had less than half an hour to get ready. Sitting with him helped me at the time but now that I’ve realized there’s basically no time until I need to go on stage. We’re now standing backstage with only 2 minutes until we need to perform. Everyone was talking to each other but I was standing a little of to the side, feeling my breathing start to quicken. What if I make a mistake? What if the armies stop liking me because I mess up? Or the boys get annoyed at me. I felt a hand slip into mine and I looked to my left to see the concerned face of Jimin.
“Are you ok,” he asked quietly.
“Yeah. I-I’m fine,” I stuttered.
“You’re going to be perfect Tae. And if you make a mistake, no one will care, everyone makes mistakes,” he said just as we were told to head up onto the stage. Sometimes I think that he can read my mind. We walked up on to the stage as the music began to play and Jimin stayed with me. Fans began to scream as they saw Jimin give me a back hug and rest his head on my shoulder, grinning. I gave a weak smile but I wasn’t really feeling it, I was still stressed.
After the Concert
The concert went ok but I made a mistake, I managed to cover it up so hopefully none of the armies noticed but I did and the other boys definitely noticed. When we got back to the dorms I went straight up to my room and closed my door. I opened my phone and sat on the bed, searching up ways to help with stress. If I don’t find something to help me soon then the stress is going to become too much and I can’t keep relying on the other boys. I realized today that they’ve got just as much going on so I shouldn’t bother them. I read through a couple of articles about ways that probably wouldn’t help me but then I came across one that caught my eye. People say that smoking is bad for you, but it said that smoking helps to relieve stress. Can it really? Compared to all the other suggestions, this one sounded the easiest. Sure I would have to try it out first to see if it works and if it does then I’d have to hide it from the other’s as they probably wouldn’t understand it but to be honest I’m willing to try pretty much anything to help me at the moment. So, the next day, I snuck down to the shops wearing a mask and a hoodie so I wouldn’t be recognized and bought a pack of cigarettes. I had to rush back to the dorms after that so no one would notice I was gone and get ready for an interview we had in the morning. The interview itself was very stressful and I tried to stay quiet most of the time so I wouldn’t make a fool of myself.
“You boys have about an hour to relax before you’ve got to head over to the stadium,” our manager said as we were dropped back off at the dorm.
“Hey Tae, do you want to play some Xbox with Jimin and I,” Kookie asked me.
“Nah, I’m alright. I just want to relax a bit in my room if that’s ok,” I said.
“That’s fine,” he shrugged before going into the living room. I went up to my bedroom and closed the door, locking it to make sure no one would be able to get in. It’s lucky that our dorms are in a secluded area so I can open my window to keep my room from smelling like smoke without the risk of people seeing my smoke. I pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it with a lighter that I had found. I took a deep breath, praying that this would help me get rid of the stress, then took a smoke. I was surprised by how quickly it started to help with the stress, way quicker than I expected. I sat down on my window ledge and continued to smoke. After finishing the first cigarette I decided to have another one as I was already feeling much better. I grinned to myself and sighed, feeling completely relaxed. Some people are absolute geniuses. Now I’ve found the perfect way to help with my stress, I’ve just got to figure out ways to smoke without the other’s finding out…
3 Months Later
“What’s with you Taehyung. You’re getting sloppy,” Hobi said as I paused halfway through the ‘Idol’ dance. For the past week I’ve been running out of breath quickly and finding it harder to sing for longer periods of time.
“I’m sorry, I’m just tired,” I said, a little out of breath. Jimin frowned and walked over to me. He put one hand on my back and another on the front of my shoulder, pushing gently so I was standing up straighter.
“Breathe deeply,” he told me. I was confused but followed his instructions, finding it even harder to breathe. After a few breaths he quickly let go and rubbed my back.
“Guys he’s having trouble breathing properly and I don’t think it’s normal. He’s wheezing really badly,” he said. The other’s all walked over to take a look.
“I’m fine,” I said shaking my head.
“Like hell you are, listen to him,” Jimin said frowning. Everyone went quiet and you could definitely hear that my breathing wasn’t great.
“You guys continue dancing, I’m going to take him to the hospital to get it checked out,” Namjoon said. I can’t go to hospital because the truth is, I never stopped smoking after using since I had my first smoke. Since then I’ve started smoking at least 5 times a day. I just can’t stop, when I’m smoking all of my stress goes away and I’ve been doing a lot better on stage. But now, I’m running out of breath quickly and having trouble sleeping.
“No, I’m staying,” I said shaking my head, making the other’s all turn to me in confusion.
“What do you mean no Tae? You need to go so you can make sure it’s nothing serious and if it is serious then we need to make sure we can get you some help,” Hobi said frowning.
“Look I’m fine, I’m just tired so let’s just get on with practice,” I said quickly.
“No, you’re not fine. People who are fine don’t breathe like that. I don’t care what you think but you are going, end of discussion,” Namjoon said sternly. Shit, there’s no way I’m getting out of this. When Namjoon is in that kind of mindset, there’s no stopping him. I just hung my head and walked out of the room, not saying a word. I heard him follow me out but I just walked silently, not talking on the way either.
“Hi, my brother is having trouble breathing and I was wondering if we could get him checked out,” he said to the receptionist. I looked up in surprise after hearing him call me his brother, even though he was speaking English I understood most of what he was saying. I mean we call each other brothers at home but never usually out in public without camera’s around just because some people might think it’s weird.
“Of course, just fill these sheets out and someone will be right with you,” she replied, handing some papers to Namjoon.
“Sit down,” he told me, pointing to the waiting chairs. I looked back and saw that there were some teenagers also waiting.
“What if we get recognized,” I asked him. He looked behind us and then turned back to the receptionist, saying something quickly in English to which she nodded and pointed down the hall.
“Come on Tae,” he said grabbing my hand, pulling down the hall and into a room. We waited for a little bit before a man in a white coat came in and started talking to Namjoon. I kind of zoned out because they were talking in English and I couldn’t really understand.
“Taehyung, am I right.” I looked up after hearing the man say my name and nodded.
“I need to runs some tests,” he told me. I actually kind of like this guy because he spoke slowly and clearly to help me understand. I just nodded and Namjoon left so that he could run the tests he needed.
Namjoon’s POV
I left the room so the doctor could run the tests he needed to run on Tae to find out what’s wrong with him because he really didn’t sound very good. I don’t understand why he didn’t want to go get it checked out. I opened my phone and quickly called Jin who picked up after three rings.
“Hey Joonie, how’s it going with Tae,” he asked me.
“He’s getting checked out now and the doctor said that they’ll be done in about 2 hours. I’m going to wait here but can you guys come up in 2 hours please,” I asked.
“Yeah sure. We’ll be there,” he replied.
“Alright, see you then,” I said before hanging up.
2 Hours Later
The boys arrived about 5 minutes ago and we were all waiting in the private waiting room when a different doctor came out and walked over. I was a little confused but then he started speaking Korean and I was thankful as I wouldn’t need to translate it for the other’s.
“Kim Taehyung right,” he asked and we all nodded.
“Alright, well we’ve run some tests and we found out that he has a lung infection. It’s not too bad, nothing some antibiotics and rest can’t deal with but I really would advise that he stops smoking,” he said. I froze! What?
“What do you mean smoking, Tae doesn’t smoke,” Jungkook said confused.
“No he definitely smokes. He has been for at least a couple of months. You’re actually lucky that you came in now because if he keeps going how he is, then he’ll end up with lung cancer. It looks like he smokes multiple a day,” he said. The boys all looked either sad, confused or angry so I quickly stepped in.
“Thank you sir. Are we able to go see him,” I asked.
“Yes you may. He has to stay overnight just to keep an eye on him but he should be able to leave in the morning,” he said before walking off. Before any of the boys could move, I turned around and held my arms out to stop them.
“Before any of you guys go in there, I want you to make sure you’re in the right mindset. I know this is shocking and maybe angering but no one, I repeat NO ONE is to yell or get angry at him. We let him tell us why he’s doing it because there’s obviously a reason, he wouldn’t put his or ours careers at risk unless he felt like he needed to and then we try and help him,” I said, narrowing my eyes at them all. They all sighed and nodded quickly. We went over to the room and opened the door.
Suga’s POV
Smoking? I can’t believe him! Does he not realize how bad this could be for his and the rest of the members careers. If any sort of media got wind of this, our band would get so much backlash. To say I’m angry would be an understatement. I went to walk towards his room but Namjoon held out his arms, stopping me.
“Before any of you guys go in there, I want you to make sure you’re in the right mindset. I know this is shocking and maybe angering but no one, I repeat NO ONE is to yell or get angry at him. We let him tell us why he’s doing it because there’s obviously a reason, he wouldn’t put his or ours careers at risk unless he felt like he needed to and then we try and help him,” he said firmly. I get what he’s saying but what reason could possibly be so important? I was still angry but I nodded and followed him to the room. When we walked inside Tae was lying down, facing the other way and he didn’t turn to look at us.
“Tae, turn around and look at us,” I said with slight annoyance in my tone. I felt a whack on the back of my head and I looked to see a frowning Hobi but I rolled my eyes and turned back to Tae who slowly sat up and faced us.
“Please don’t be mad,” he pleaded in a small voice as tears ran down his face. It was like all of my anger was sucked out of my body and replaced with concern for my dosaeng.
“Oh Tae, we aren’t angry. Can you just tell us why please,” I asked softly as I rushed over to him and pulled him into a tight hug.
“I’m s-sorry. I’m so s-sorry,” he sobbed into my top. I heard movement and pretty soon all the other boys joined the hug. We stood there for at least 5 minutes until his sobs quietened down and we pulled away.
“Why do you smoke Tae,” Jimin asked sadly as he held onto Tae’s hand with one of his and used his other one to wipe the tears from the younger 95’s eyes.
“I just wanted it to stop,” Tae said sadly.
“Wanted what to stop Tae,” Jin asked.
“The stress,” he replied as he began to cry again.
“Oh Tae, why didn’t you just come to us, we would’ve helped you,” Namjoon said.
“I t-tri-ed but then I d-didn’t w-want to b-bother y-you guys cos you w-were bus-y,” he choked out.
“What do you mean,” I asked confused.
“Take a deep breath before you talk Tae,” Hoseok said softly. Taehyung took a deep breath and wiped his eyes before continuing.
“It was the concert after I was sick and I was so stressed out beforehand so I wanted to talk to someone but everyone was busy. Suga Hyung let me sit with him and I fell asleep but when I woke back up I was more stressed. I was worried I was going to make a mistake and I did so I went home and searched up ways to help reduce stress. I would’ve gone back to you guys but I realized how busy you all were and I didn’t want to bother you guys,” he said shaking his head. I saw everyone look down ashamed, even I am. He can’t be blamed for this, we know how stressful it can be and how much we need to look after each other and we weren’t there when one of us needed.
“Hyung, I’m so sorry. That video was nowhere near as important as you are. I don’t know why I just shrugged you off,” Jungkook said as tears started streaming down his face.
“Kookie when it comes down to it, it was my decision and I was the one that couldn’t stop. It isn’t your fault,” Tae said as he let go of Jimin’s hand to hug the Maknae.
“No Tae, it is our fault. We should’ve been there for you when you needed us but we weren’t. But I promise, we all promise that we’ll be there for you now,” Namjoon promised. Tae looked sad for a second but brightened up a little and gave a small smile.
“The doctor said you just have a lung infection so all you need is some antibiotics and rest and then you’ll be right. He said you’re lucky that you’ve come in now because they can help you quit smoking alright and we’ll help you through it as well,” I told him. He nodded and took a deep breath.
“Promise us you’ll come to us whenever you feel stressed or like you want to smoke so we can help you,” Jimin asked.
“I promise,” Tae replied giving us his well-known Boxy smile.

A/N
This one is slightly long again but I hope you enjoyed it. Thankyou for reading and feel free to leave a request!
This was also requested by @bts_armylove_xoxo. I hope it's what you wanted💜💜