NAMJOONS POV

It's been two months since we lost Yoongi. ARMY still don't know and I really don't want to break the news.
Seokjin had to go to counselling.
Hoseok became colder.
Jungkook went mute.
Tae always wears longs sleeves... even in the summer.

And me? I'm falling apart. Ever since that day, no one of us have been the same. We lost parts of ourselves, we lost our main characters, we lost our own happiness and there's nothing that can bring it back.
I can feel deep down, we're all losing our fight. Some quicker than others, it's scary.

I was supposed to be the leader, the one that kept us all together. I failed. I failed that badly two people ended their own life and I could do nothing about it. Do you know how much that hurts me? My two best friends are gone and I couldn't even do a single thing...
I slid my back down the wall and through the beer bottle at the opposite wall, smashing it in the process. I placed my head in my hands and began to cry, I was losing my fight. I cannot be strong for everyone anymore... I can't do it.

Not now.
Not ever again.

TAEHYUNGS POV

I looked at my hands and then I looked at my reflection. The person staring back at me wasn't who I was, the person staring back at me was the demon that has taken control of my life completely.
I want my best friends back, and I want them back now.

I walked into the kitchen, making sure no one was there. I picked up a knife and walked back to my room with tear filled eyes, was I really doing to do this?
Yoongi and Y/N were like family to me, and now that they're gone, I should be gone too.
I slid the knife across my wrist but felt nothing, I did it again and again but all I felt was empty.

Maybe there is only one escape, maybe when you begin to feel so low that there can only be one exit. Who knows, maybe I found that exit, maybe I haven't. I let out a sob, the only thing I wanted right now was to die. I wanted to be with my best friends again.

Please just one more time, "Let me die... please just let me die." I sobbed.

SEOKJINS POV

I looked at my medication, all for what? They're giving me pills... they shouldn't be surprised if I take my own life. The fuel of my death is in my hands, trapped inside a small white pill. I choked out a laugh. Not a laugh of comedy, but a laugh of pity.

I was sat on my floor, debating on what to do next. Every time I close my eyes, Yoongi and Y/N are there, screaming for help but no one can here... so I can't sleep. Every time I leave my room... my mind travels back to those fateful days.
Why didn't I do anything?

Why didn't I stop them...? I could've helped, I know I could've but I didn't.

A tear rolled down my face and I sighed, "Maybe this life isn't for me..." I mumbled.

Suicide?

HOSEOKS POV

Why?

That was the only question running through my mind. Why...

What're your opinions on heaven and hell? I, personally, don't believe in either of them but I really hope that they're happy together.... wherever they are.
I looked in the mirror and sighed, I could count my ribs now.

I miss them..

I want to see them again...

JUNGKOOKS POV

I stood in the middle of my room and looked at the photos of me, Y/N and Yoongi together. We were happy, we were all smiling real and genuine smiles. But now... I can barely speak.

I can barely say 'Hi' because no matter what I do, it'll somehow link back to the beautiful people we lost... and I don't want to remember that pain... I can't.

I feel like it was my fault.
I have done since we.. since I...

I...

NAMJOONS POV

This was it for me, it truly was. When you feel like there is no escape from the guilt, from the pain, from fucking everything... you turn to the last and most lethal possible option.

For me... it was death.

Living with a guilt this strong will become unbearable. There is literally no way to put it lightly, I'm falling apart. A leader, a rapper... has become soft and shattered.
It's rather pathetic if you ask me.

I don't really know who's going to find this , read this and tell people

But please, I absolutely beg of you... please tell ARMY lightly. There is no way in hell that they're going to just move on within a few days.. if I know ARMYs (and I do) they'll make their own little funeral... I'm so sorry

Two months ago, I lost two of my best friends. Y/N L/N and Min Yoongi, two of which I've known for years. I thought I would be able to stay strong for the group but

A tear fell into the paper. "What's happening to me..."

I couldn't. I can't.
I feel like everything's my fault and I want to get rid of it. I feel like clawing at my heart, at my skin... I'm trying to get it off me but it's not going away and oh my god please just take me away please

I looked at the note and I sighed. This is where I'll leave them hanging...

I tied a wire around my neck and pulled. I was choking and it was my fault.

All of it.

Darkness became to take me in as its own, letting me finally become what I wanted. My hands slipped and I passed out.

After a while, I was finally

TAEHYUNGS POV

I ran the bath and grabbed a razor. I looked at my arms, covered in cuts. I glanced in the mirror and cringed. Look at me, Kim Taehyung, the weirdo of the group.
It's funny.

So...very...funny.

'KIM TAEHYUNG. KIM TAEHYUNG. KIM TAEHYUNG. KIM TAEHYUNG.' I smiled at their cheering, for once I was finally happy.

Tears stung my eyes as I sat down in the bathtub, the water still filling it. I looked down at my arms with a blurry vision. "I will finally be able to go." I said, smiling. I put the razor blade to my arms and slid across, digging scarily deep.

Blood poured out of my arms, turning the water that was originally transparent into a dark crimson. I did the exact same in my other arm.
The water was dark red.

My mind was a dark mess.

My vision was becoming darker and the blood left my body. I didn't leave a note.

No one wanted to remember me.

Why would I leave a note...

I dropped the blade and closed my eyes. Ten minutes later I was finally

SEOKJINS POV

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six...
Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
Ten...
Eleven...

I gave up counting and poured the entire tub of pills into my hand. I opened the bottle of vodka and took them. Y/N was... family. Yoongi was, more than family. Too much more than family.
I got too close... I lost too many people but this.. this pushed me over the edge.

I lay on the floor with closed eyes as I remembered all the good times we had. My birthday... their birthday.

The first time we met, it was an amazing day.

When.. when I said I loved her. Not to her face.. obviously.

When I knew she was the one.

When Yoongi...

My breathing slowed down and my heart rate was extremely faint. I sighed and used up my last words, "Y/N and Yoongi... I love you guys."

And with that, I was finally

HOSEOKS POV

I paced around the room with a loaded gun in my hand. This is what I wanted... right? No. Yes.. no? Yes. This is what I wanted.
I needed this.

My mind was racing. Thoughts were jumbled and my Vision was blurring every time I turned around. I stopped walking and looked down at the gun, then I looked back at my reflection.

Then to the gun.
Then to the reflection.
And the gun...

This time, I didn't look up at myself. I put my finger on the trigger and placed it to my head. "Fuck.." I mumbled.

I picked up a sharpie and wrote on the wall:

THIS WAS SUICIDE.
ARMYS WE LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
IM SO VERY SORRY.

I put the gun to my head again, smiling when I saw me dead, lying on the floor. I put my finger on the trigger, closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.

And with that, I was finally

JUNGKOOKS POV

What's the point anymore?
I could just die right now.
I looked at the moving cars below me, everything could be over in just one second and no one would even stop to look.

No one really cares, not a single person.

I stepped a little closer to the edge, looking straight ahead. "They call me an angel, but is flying really my thing?"

I let out a laugh and stepped forward, falling to the ground.

My body hit the floor with a loud and sickening sound, finally I was

JIMINS POV

I looked at the pool, I smiled to myself. "What a wonderful way to be caught in a lie." I mumbled.

I jumped into it, holding my breath as I sank to the bottom.

"Hey Jimin? Are you awake?"

"What is it?" I said, looking over to Y/N.

"Just telling you that you're worth it, goodnight." I chuckled and smiled.

"Thank you."

I screamed underwater, of course, no one could hear me.
Maybe it was for the best...

Maybe if..
I Just...

Can I?
Please..

I was running out of oxygen.
My vision had dark splotches in corners.

I screamed some more.
I closed my eyes and breathed out, then breathed in. Only to feel water entering my lungs.

I was choking away my pain, finally I could die.

Finally I was

BTS
Gone.

NEWS REPORTERS POV

"Just in, all seven members of Bangtan Sonyeondan, pronounced dead. The cause? Suicide."

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Ha...
This makes me want to scream and cry in every way possible omf