requested by: lifeupdates_ness

songfic: bts - fake love

Namjoon's POV

"You're not even the man I used to know!"

Her words pierced through my heart but the pain was felt in my whole body.

It still echoed in my head.

"Hyung!", I felt someone pat my shoulder.

I shook it off my head.
"Yes, Taehyung?"

"Are you okay?"

I faked a smile and then I nodded.

"You don't seem to be okay. Your hand is bleeding," he pointed at my fist.

I glanced at it and smirked.

"Ah. Mianhae," the pain was numb.

Something else was painful.

I got up and took some the medical kit sitting on top of the dresser.

I bandaged my fist carefully as Taehyung watched me in despair.

"Hyung. Sangrin isn't your life," he whispered.

"But She was."

"Taehyung.." I looked at him. "did I change?"

He gave me a puzzled look, but it turned into a look of pity.

"You did. You came back to the Namjoon I met 6 years ago. The depressed— the guy who barely believed himself. You were conscious of every single move you did, All that just for her." Taehyung paused.

"And hyung. Honestly, the point is— you forget yourself just for her."

"Is that why she dumped me? Am I not enough?", it was just a little bit out of thousands of questions in my mind.

"Don't ask me. But for me, you were always a good man." Taehyung exited the room, silence taking over.

I stepped towards the mirror. I eyed myself.

"Who are you?"

•••

"Hyung, are you sure you'll be fine if I invited Sangrin noona?", Jungkook asked once again.

"I'm okay, Jungkook. Do whatever you want, its your party," I smiled at him.

I turned my back and sprinted towards the balcony.

The cold air hit my face and my eyes just started to— leak.

I cried my heart out— until I lost my heart.

"I'm okay."
A pretty lie.

I heard the door behind me open, and it was Taehyung.

"Hyung," he gave me a handkerchief.
He always comes on time.

How I wish he was you.

In this dream that won't ever come true, I grew a flower that couldn't be blossomed.

Taehyung went back inside and I was left alone again. I guess he knew that I wanted to be alone.

I looked down and saw the cherry blossom tree. Wind blew and petals fell down. Withering, as time went by.

And withering, as I still asked, "why?"

I asked myself, what the heck his love?

Is love pain?

•••

The hall started to crowd as music blasted. I kept my eyes straight, making my way towards the exit door, stopping when I bumped into someone and I felt liquid on my suit.

I looked at the woman and—

"Sorry," I heard her mutter.

"It's okay," I smiled and continued to walk away.

Smile away the pain– they said.

And for the second time, I broke down.

I wonder, does she even feel the same?

Then, a sudden epiphany hit me. I realized, I was being manipulated. That was probably why I was changed. I was manipulated by— love? Was it even love? I don't even know.

One thing's for sure. I loved her too much.

•••

"Hyung!", Taehyung waved at me before running towards me.

"How was your year in America?", he asked.

I— faked a smile.

Everything. Almost everything reminded me of her.

And I lost the purpose.

I forgot to move on.

I forgot to forget her.

"It was okay. I am okay."
My lips trembled whenever it knew I lied.

"That's good to hear, kaja?", he suggested and I nodded.

One year was short. Much more when there was no progress in my mission.

To move on.

I felt like I was being killed slowly, the pain of us being nothing— the pain of our not-a-fairytale love story.

I guess it has ended.

•

I decided to take a walk around the city, maybe bond with the environment itself. I missed this, despite the irreplacable memories.

I passed by Fēnshǒu cafe, as I felt like my heart was being pinched.

I stared at the particular table where we always sat at.

There was an old couple sharing a precious moment, with coffee.

Growing old with your love is a blessing, but I love someone whom I couldn't have.

I sighed. And I smiled.

"Love."
Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't.

I continued walking and bumped into a woman. She was strangely covered in a mask and sunglasses, as if she was hiding her identity. She never looked up at me but I could hear her sobbing as she muttered with her voice cracking, "Mianhae."

And I recognized who.

I grabbed her hand and took her to an alley. Is this fated?

I slowly took off her mask and also her sunglasses.

It really was her.

"Sangrin."

She couldn't look at me in the eyes.

"S-sorry. I'm r-really sorry."
The sadness in her voice made my heart break, even more than how it broke when she left.

I could feel my eyes starting to water, but I couldn't show it to her, for her. I'll just add up to the sadness in the air.

♪ If it's for you I can act like
I'm happy even when I'm sad
If it's for you I can act strong
even when it hurts ♪

"Why you sad?" I asked, placing my hand on her cheek.

your pov ;

Forgive me, for I have failed to fight for you.

But right now I just miss you.

I stood infront of him, preparing to be embarassed when he sees my ugly face.

And ugh- my eyebags.

"Why you sad?", he playfully held my shoulder.

I don't know.

I guess he has moved on.

It's all my fault anyway, for making him lose himself for me. I was selfish.

I made him change and then I suddenly tell him he's not the guy I knew.

But I have to say it, at least to have a closure.

And because he asked.

"I miss you."

I looked away but he held my chin up.

"Love wins," Namjoon sighed, making me lose my mind in confusion.

What do you mean?

"Sangrin."
His voice. His presence.

I wish I didn't lose him. In the first place, why was I a fake lover?

Say my name one more time and I'll completely lose it!

"Sangrin," wow, was he reading my mind.

I slipped my arms around his waist.
Until now, our bodies fitted like a lock and a key.

But I guess we aren't made for each other.

I pulled away and smiled up at him.

And for the last time;
"Goodbye."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me strongly, and the next thing I knew, our lips were together.

Am I dreaming?

If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up.

It's not fake love, it's fated love.

I wished loving was perfect— and it is.

In the end, it's perfect.

No more fake smiles.
No more soaked eyes.

I love you so bad.

a/n: ashdsjshshs this is so shdhdjd i'm so sorry if this is trash lifeupdates_ness 

when fake love was released, i already tried making a plot back then but i really couldn't have one that fits the song really well,

so basically, since then i had no idea heh but i did my best bcos its a request hihi im sorry if it took so long and if the story is hard to understand shdjdjk.

AND HEYYYYY BTW

i still accept requests!!!