The storm rolled in with a thunderous roar, ripping through trees and valleys like it had a vendetta. I watched the rain with its unnatural slant beat into the ground like a merciless drummer against his drum set. All the while thinking of you and how you tore my ever beating heart to shreds, with just three simple words.

I hate you...

Never will I forget the hurt and betrayal resounding in your soft yet broken voice. It was my fault I should have known something was wrong when you didn't move to greet me when I walked in. Instead I mosied over to the kitchen to find something to eat. Only to become upset when I found it empty.

All the things that had etched at my usually calm facade had snapped. I turned on you like a vicious beast about to tear apart his prey... and for that my love, I am sorry.

These words will never reach your beautifully sculpted ears though. Because after you whispered those three words before you walked through the door...

You were gone.

Swept away by a sea of sorrows. I never knew the extent that my continuous absence had on you. I don't think I ever took the time to pay attention. Believe me when I say, I don't take a single moment for granted now.

"Jin... it's time to get off the train." Namjoon called to me from the seat across the aisle.

"I'm surprised the train stayed on the track in this weather." Yoongi muttered, stretching out his pale thin arms. I smiled, he wasn't wrong. The whole train shook with the force of the wind. I am thankful that the track held on tight.

Perhaps, that's what I should have done. I shouldn't have let you walk out that door. I should have pulled you into a hug, holding you tight while you pound your fists against my chest.

There are a lot of things I should have done. Now, I live with the constant regrets playing over and over like a bad horror film. Reminding me every day that I will never feel the softness of your skin or the way you used to touch me in such a way that made my soul catch fire.

"Jin..." Namjoon called me again, a look of concern forming on his face. I pulled my lips into a tight smile, moving to exit the train behind him.

My delicate flower
Within the storm
Holding strong in the hour
Slowly losing your form
From the harsh words
And my truths untold
I never struck the chord
Or took a firm hold
To sing the song of my heart
Should of held you from the start
When you let go
This pain is too much
Now I'll never know
Forever lost without your touch

"Jin..." Namjoon gripped my shoulder pulling me back just as a car sped in front of us.

"Thanks..." I mumbled, wiping away a tear that escaped. My heart aches to hear your sweet voice again. It calls to me like the wind as it swirls around the leaves of autumn. Reminding me of your crimson fire hair. The way it swept past your shoulders all the way down to the small of your back.

I sighed, stepping into the black SUV with the rest of the guys. Namjoon wrapped an arm around my shoulders giving them a squeeze.

"They say time heals all wounds... the reality of it all is when you lose someone in the worst way. You never truly heal. But just know your brothers are here. We've got you."

"Thank you, Joon."

He smiled patting my shoulder, but never removed his arm. The contact was comforting.

Tracing letters into the fogging up window, I formed your name. It's such a beautiful name and fit you perfectly.

If I close my eyes, I can see your heart shaped face with your beautiful blue eyes and the way your smile lit up the darkest of rooms. How you fit so easily in my arms.

But you are gone...

"Jin..." Namjoon whispered.

"Hmmm..." I didn't open my eyes, resting comfortably on his shoulder.

"We are here."

My eyes shot open and I sat up. Looking around, a fond memory of you bouncing on your toes at the edge of the stadium sidewalk cheering with all of Army. I slumped back against the seat when I realized you would never be there again and I felt my heart break a little more.

"It's gonna be okay, Jin... We've got you." Jimin consoled me with his singsong voice and a smile that made his eyes disappear. I remembered how you adored that smile. I looked quickly up at the roof of the SUV trying hard to fight back the tears raging war inside me.

Everyone was outside waiting for me to follow and Y/N I'm going to.  I'll do it for you. I'll do it for the butterflies and all the long nights sitting and gazing up at the stars. For the flame that once burned bright in my soul that now seemed to fade as the days pass by and I'm without you.

"Jinnie..." Your sweet delicate voice called to me. I opened my eyes and looked over where Namjoon was sitting just moments before and there you were. You were glowing with a soft light. Smiling while caressing my cheek with your small hand. I leaned into it, feeling your warmth radiate through me. Heating up my heart that had felt so cold.

"I am here..."

"I'm sorry, Y/N... I'm so sorry." I sobbed. A crystal like tear fell down your porcelain cheek as you shook your head.

"I love you..." You whispered in my ear, gently kissing my cheek before you disappeared once more.

"Jin..." Namjoon called me again. You love me... My heart was singing, but I still felt the guilt of the pain I caused you lingering.

When I got the call that you had been in an awful accident and they didn't know how much time you had left. I fell to my knees and I begged and pleaded with God to save you. Namjoon picked me up and we drove as fast as we could to get to you.

But when I arrived... you were already gone. There was nothing anyone could do. You left this world without me. Without knowing just how much I loved you.

Y/N I love you.

I've lost myself for a time, but I have found what the future holds for me is grand. Know that when I sing now... I sing for you and I always will.

I may be worldwide handsome to everyone else.

For you, I will always be just Seokjin. Know that that was always enough for me.

Finally, I stepped out into the sunlight. The storm had lifted and a radiant new day was shining bright.

Army cheered as we made our way into the stadium to get ready. While I knew you weren't physically here. I could hear you cheering me on and I knew you always would.