...

The first time Yoongi saw Taehyung, the puppy came to his mind. One big energetic, a bit annoying puppy. That was Taehyung during their first year before their debut. Yoongi didn't like him that much at first. He couldn't believe anyone could be as ''quirky'' as Taehyung.

Taehyung was exactly Yoongi's opposite in many ways. He was energetic, whereas Yoongi was calm, he was loud, where Yoongi was quiet, he was open and friendly, while Yoongi was closed behind massive walls he built around his emotions. He was fierce, while Yoongi only acted that way, hiding behind his angry and savage persona. Namjoon knew the real him, of course, after years of living and working together prior. They had many ups and downs until they comfortably reached the stage of being best friends.

Seokjin, on the other hand, ever observant and tactical, never breached Yoongi's privacy, but there was a silent understanding between them, which only grew stronger during the years when they started rooming together.

All three guys from, the so-called ''Hyung line'', were close to Yoongi without him even noticing. It goes with the title of the oldest, he guessed. They just slid into his life, without really bothering him.

He felt most relaxed and calm with Seokjin, who was loud and energetic in front of the cameras and in public, but very calm and serious in private. That's why he and Yoongi were best suited to be roommates together. Yoongi loved the fact that he could have a small chat, lying in their beds, just before they went to sleep. They would voice out in hushed whispers their concerns and worries about the group and their future, without troubling the rest of their members. It was their burden to bear, they were the two oldest ones, and even though Namjon had the heaviest role, being their group leader and all, Yoongi and Jin were his support, one on each side.

That, however, didn't mean that they too never felt anxious and scared sometimes. That's why, sharing the room, allowed them to have their private space to brainstorm and find the solutions to the problems at hand, unburden their own fears, or simply sit in the utmost silence and feel the comfort from one another.

Namjoon had the best working relationship with him. They tossed ideas and suggestions about the sound or the beat of the songs they were constantly making. Their common ambition to succeed in music fueled them to work even harder together, and even though they shared many very deep and meaningful conversations, the person that knew his insecurities and fears was none other than Hoseok.

Hobi was the energy booster, his vitamin, his light. His ability to listen and advise was something that only Yoongi and the other members ever experienced. The more serious side of Hoseok, ARMY never got to see until recently. They know him all happy, and energetic, with a constant smile and high energy, but Hoseok Yoongi knew, was much, much more. The ARMY nowadays only had a glimpse of how dark he can be, with his new album ''Jack in the Box'', and even so, a lot of the fans thought it was only a fan service. The nativity of the all.

Every time Yoongi would feel down, questioning himself and letting his fear and doubt sneak back into his soul, Hoseok understood on a deep level, approaching it with fearlessness, and chasing it away with the power only he wielded.

The maknae line, on the other hand, was a handful, especially at the beginning of their career.

Jungkook was always quiet and shy as a mouse, much like Yoongi was himself, but he would step out of his little cocoon with the help of Taehyung, who knew exactly how to get the best reaction from their youngest member. He would never admit it back in the day, but Yoongi would always coo inside whenever he would see them together. Both of them were like his annoying, but adorable younger siblings, and even though he had no patience most of the time, there were times when he would take them out and buy them sweets and food with the little pocket money he had.

Once Jimin came to the group, they were completed, but then, Taehyung became too much for Yoongi, because '95 liners were double trouble. Add Kookie into the equation and you have chaos. Yoongi didn't like chaos, but he liked his members, even though he wouldn't admit that either in the beginning.

The youngest trio quickly learned not to bother Yoongi. They respected and feared him. At first, Yoong liked that but seeing how friendly and affectionate Jin and Hoseok were towards the youngsters, after a year or two he became envious. Namjoon was in the same place as Yoongi, being too polite by keeping a certain distance since he felt it was his duty to set an example and lead them the best he could. The youngest members were in awe of him, Yoongi could see on their faces as they looked at Namjoon, and Namjoon was quite impressive. Tall and lanky at first, he oozed confidence and leadership that only got stronger and better with age. His way of calm and clear speaking in several languages, his way with words, the way he rapped, and his intellect was to be admired, so it's no wonder that the youngest members saw him as a role model. Yoongi admired him as well. All members did, but for the maknae line, he was like God.

Jin and Hoseok would often chuckle in adoration at Jungkook, who had not so small crush on their leader. Even '95 liners respected him the most and knew exactly how to get under his skin to make him soft.

Yoongi wanted that. That respect and admiration, but softness that Namjoon had from them. The way both Jimin and Taehyung circled around Namjoon and showered him with compliments and affection, made their leader blush and smile bashfully, his dimples peaking. The way they went to him for advice and guidance. Yoongi wanted that as well. He was envious of that, and he was lonely, but his pride and self-assurance that he ''doesn't need anyone'' got him into that state. At first, his actions were to send them off so they won't bother him, but now, he was afraid that he pushed them away too much.

It didn't also help that both Taehyung and Jimin became so handsome in the next couple of years, and Yoongi, who was openly pansexual to their inner circle, and had two perfectly functioning eyes, couldn't fail to notice. He scolded himself every time he would think about them in a certain way, especially because they are his members and Bangtan comes first. Their career, their music, and their image come first, so Yoongi tried really hard to push those treacherous thoughts away in the beginning, which wasn't easy, especially after ''Blood, Sweat & Tears'' choreography, where he had to put his hand on Taehyung's neck in sexy choking motion. Let's just say that he had a revelation at that moment, and a raging boner afterwards when he allowed his mind to wander too far and wild.

-'' Do you ever plan to tell him?'' - Hoseok asked from the sofa in Yoongi's studio one evening. They were working on a song when their lead dancer/rapper breached the temporary silence.

Yoongi turned his head to glance at him, brows furrowing in confusion. - '' Tell what to whom?'' - He asked.

-'' Taehyung, that you like him.'' - Hoseok said in a serious tone. He ran his fingers through his strawberry-blond hair, while he rested his head on the back of the sofa.

Yoongi's brows furrowed even further. He blinked a few times, turning his eyes towards the screen again. - '' I don't know what you're talking about.'' - He answered and continued clicking with his mouse.

Hoseok scoffed. - '' Don't lie to me, Hyung. I've noticed how you look at him.'' - He says, a wicked smile appearing on his heart-shaped lips. - '' Jiminie too, but then again everyone stares at him these days, me included, and I'm not even gay.''

Yoongi chuckles at that. - '' I won't be so sure, Hobah. The things you do with Jimin...'' - He left the rest of the sentence unspoken, shaking his head in amusement. He felt the corner of his lips turn into a smile when he heard the gasp behind him.

-'' I don't do anything with Jimin except cuddling, and occasional butt-slapping, and hugging...'' - Hoseok raised his eyes to the ceiling, recalling more of his adventures with his Jiminie. - ''...and tickling...and flirting...and making him blush...'' - He glances back at Yoongi with an ever-growing smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes when he talks about their mochi. -'' Oh, he blushes so nicely, Hyung, growing so embarrassed quickly.'' - He adds with a gleam.

Yoongi snorts. -'' My point exactly.'' - He says, not moving from his working position.

-'' But I cuddle and tease all of them.'' - Hoseok continues, defending himself. -'' Jungkookie is the most adorable when he's bashful. He still comes to my bed now and then.''

-'' He has his own room he asked for.'' - Yoongi says grumpily. -'' He should sleep in it.''

Hoseok made a painful face. -'' How can I refuse him?'' - He asks. - '' You know I'm weak for the puppy looks.'' - He nudges Yoongi's chair with his foot. - '' Like you could say no to him if he sneaks into your bed in the middle of the night and say he cannot sleep.''

Yoongi hums at that, knowing perfectly well that it would be impossible to say no to their youngest. His big doe eyes were a powerful weapon and the kid knew how to use it. Jungkook never came to his bed, but if he did, Yoongi wouldn't mind it at all.

-'' Now, don't change the subject. You like Taehyung.'' - Hoseok says, nudging Yoongi's chair even more, making the man groan in annoyance. - ''For how long was it now, huh?'' - Hoseok was persistent.

Yoongi was silent.

-'' He admires you, you know.'' - Hoseok continues.

-'' He admires everyone.'' - Yoongi grumbled, pretending he don't care.

-'' You are wrong, Hyung. He doesn't.'' - Hoseok shook his head, a knowing smile adorning his face. -'' Our little Taehyungie is growing up nicely.'' - He shrugs his shoulders. - '' Sure, he still acts like the adorable puppy, he wants affection and praise from the elders, but he doesn't approach everyone like he used to, and certainly, he doesn't like everyone, as he likes you. He looks up to you.''

-'' Liking someone as you think of it, and looking up to someone is not the same.'' - Yoongi said matter-of-factly.

-'' And how do you think of it?'' - Hoseok teased, and Yoongi growled quietly.

-'' Don't play around, Hobah.''

Hoseok laughed and clapped his hands once. -'' No, really Hyung. He does like and admires you. He told me himself.''

At that, Yoongi turned his head to look at Hoseok incredulously. - ''He told you he likes me? Like, like likes me?''

Hoseok's smile faltered at that. - '' Well, no.'' - He answered but then added quickly when Yoongi huffed and turned his head towards the screen again. - '' But he did say that he admires you the most. Especially your rapping skills. He loves the way you rap.''

-'' Hmm.'' - Yoongi just hums at that, not saying anything else when Hoseok continues.

-'' You should have seen his face when he talks about you, Hyung. It's like Kookie looks at Namjoonie, full of admiration and something extra.'' - He adds giggling.

-'' You are delusional.'' - Yoongi was annoyed and he wasn't afraid to show it.

Hoesok just wave it off. - '' I'm not the only one seeing it. Jin Hyung saw it too. We talked.''

-'' You two gossip way too much.'' - Yoongi grunted.

Hoseok just grinned wider. -'' Oh, I don't think it's gossip, Hyung. We see the way your eyes follow Taehyungie around when you think no one is looking at you.''

-'' Ridiculous.'' - Yoongi hissed, refusing to meet Hoseok's eyes.

-'' You have that soft look on your face when he fools around with Jiminie and Kookie.'' - Hoseok kept talking. Yoongi had to remind himself not to squeeze his mouse so much so he wouldn't break it.

-'' I look at all of them!'' - He says in irritation, a bit too loud. -'' It's like watching the kids play. They act cute sometimes.'' - He adds defiantly.

-'' Yes...'' - Hoseok nods in agreement. - ''For Jimin and Kook, but not Taehyung. Especially not when he does his photo shootings. You stare, Hyung. It's a hungry stare.''

The grinning bastard was merciless. Yoongi wondered why are they friends in the first place. He turns towards the other man, the irritation clearly visible on his face. -'' Everybody stares at him! He is phenomenal at what he does! His photographs and scenes never need any embellishment and photoshopping!'' - Yoongi was almost shouting by this point. Lucky for him, his studio is soundproof. -'' He is very handsome and beautiful and I appreciate art and beauty!'' - He continued with the same raised voice, gesturing with arms. - '' I respect all of you and your handsomeness, I have eyes! But does that means that I have crushes on you all!? No!'' - He finishes leaning back into his chair, slightly panting.

Hoseok just watched him, mouth open, and Yoongi wasn't sure if the man wanted to speak or laugh at him. In the end, the corners of his mouth turned upwards, and he nods. -'' You are right, Hyung.'' - He says after a moment. - '' You do not have crushes on all of us, but you do on Tae.''

Yoongi groaned exasperatedly, and stood up, moving towards the door. He had to leave his own lair to cool down. Hoseok was ridiculous. Yoongi had no crush on Taehyung! He thought. Does he?

Just before he left the room, he hears. - '' You didn't deny it.''

Yoongi slammed the door behind him, cutting Hoseok's merry giggles.

In the upcoming months, it was unbearable for Yoongi to stay cool and not stare at Taehyung, who grew unworldly beautiful and handsome. By this time he accepted the fact that he had one big, fat crush on the younger man, but not Jin's, Hoseok's, or even Namjoon's words and prompts could make him do anything about it. Taehyung doesn't like him that way, and that was it. The younger man would always move away from him, or barely ask anything from him. Yes, they were great group members, but they were not friends. No, not in the real sense. They never spent time alone as Yoongi did with everyone else in the group.

Besides hanging out with Joon, Hobi and Jin Hyung, he would take Jungkook for lamb skewers, or talk with Jimin until dawn, but never Taehyung. They just didn't fit well together, Yoongi thought. Taehyung didn't want him near him. Yes, they were friendly in front of the cameras, but that was more for ARMY's sake. They have many cute moments when they would do some games, or when Yoongi simply acted like a Hyung, for example when he tied his ponytail at the top of his head, or when he raised his index finger when he saw that Taehyung missed blowing out candles with the rest of the group, so he could do the imaginary one. All of it was Yoongi's not-so-sleek way to take care of him, but still act as cool Hyung. Each time, however, he saw apprehension in the youngsters' eyes as if he wasn't sure if he was stepping the invisible line and bothering Yoongi or not.

The trouble Yoongi had each time when he tried to have alone time was bad. Not only that privacy was so hard to come by, but when he finally had it, the thoughts of Taehyung kept creeping in and he felt like a pervert each time. No matter how much he tried to think about someone else, Taehyung and his deep voice would sneak up on him whenever he reached his peak of pleasure. To say he is frustrated would be an understatement. It was stupid to even dream about it because Taehyung would never want him the same way.

Yoongi still remembers clearly when they were filming a show and one of the assignments was to exchange the paper mouth to mouth. It was all the crack those days, and everyone did it. So naturally, they had to do it too, but the only problem was that Yoongi was seated next to Taehyung for that one. He will never forget the anxiousness of the younger man who jumps nervously and wonders loudly why he had to be seated next to Yoongi.

Yoongi fakes a cough which prompts the paper to fly away before he even drew closer to the other man. He turns to the cameras and asks. - '' Did we fail?'' - Which provokes a merry laugh from everyone. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Taehyung's relieved face, and he couldn't help but feel a stab of sadness that the young man finds him so unnerving to play a simple game. Yoongi was sure that Tae wouldn't have any problem playing with Jungkook, Jimin or Hoseok.

That's why it pained him a lot when he was paired with Taehyung while they were filming Bon Voyage, and they were in Hawaii. Hidden behind playfulness and laughter, Taehyung joked about being nervous that he has to spend time alone with Yoongi. They never did it before and he was afraid that they will argue because they often disagree on things.

Oh, yes, the arguments and disagreements were the only things the two of them did share. Yoongi thought bitterly. Seeing how uncomfortable Taehyung is, Yoongi decided that he will not allow them to argue at all while they were there.

-'' If we're likely to have a fight, we will hold hands.'' - Yoongi says to the surprised members and their staff. -'' And go upstairs by playing rock, paper, scissors.''

He took Taehyung's hand in his, intertwining their fingers together. The whole room exploded in laughter and cheering, with some teasing looks from Hoseok and Jin, while Taehyung bowed his head utterly embarrassed, but he held Yoongi's hand tightly.

That proved to be a useful tactic from Yoongi's side.

-'' Taehyung, let's not do this.'' - He said to the younger man later that same evening. They played the games to earn their allowance for tomorrow's friendship date and the staff offered a bet to earn more money.

-'' Hyung, why? I like the proposal.'' - Taehyung was excited. - '' Hyung, $10 is at stake.'' - He was watching him hopefully.

Yoongi was unmoved. -'' No, no, let's not do that.''

-'' But Hyung, let's try it!'' - Taehyung tried to coax him into playing the game.

-'' No, no.''

-'' Hyung...'' - Taehyung pouted sadly. Yoongi could feel his resolution crumbling, but he stayed firm.

-'' Come on, hold my hand.'' - He said, offering his hand for Taehyung to take. Everyone laughed again, even Tae, who relented and took his hand.

-'' It's just $10. I can't buy drinks with that.'' - Yoongi tried to comfort Taehyung whose head dropped a little after his battle was lost.

They called them ''the out-of-the-box'' duo.

The next day, was their friendship date. Everyone was paired - Namjoon and Hoseok, Jin, Jimin and Jungkook, and Tae and him.

-'' Where do you want to go?'' - He asked. - '' I'm gonna give you my day.'' - He said to surprised Taehyung.

They spend their first alone day together on the beach, taking pictures and talking. They also bought matching necklaces, that Taehyung called friendship necklaces. Yoongi didn't like his very much, but he promised to wear it. Later that evening the necklace broke while he was showering and he didn't have the heart to admit to Tae that the necklace was so fragile like their friendship, so he just claimed that he forgot to put it on.

When they found a Korean restaurant and ordered a bowl of cold noodles and black bean soup to share, it crosses Yoongi's mind that this was the first time the two of them shared the meal alone. Taehyung even gave him boiled egg yolk because he knew that Yoongi likes it.

Yoongi was taken aback by that and felt warmth spreading in his chest, and to his horror, to his cheeks as well. It felt like a romantic date, and he had serious trouble not smiling like a fool, especially after the ice cream and the game of rock, paper, scissors, where they laughed so much. Yoongi had won and Taehyung had to carry him to the hotel on a piggyback ride. It was the first time they were so close to one another, and Yoongi was enjoying the feeling immensely. He could feel Taehyung was enjoying too.

Their relationship got much better after that. They started spending time together, going to grab food or just talking for hours. Yoongi was astonished at how mature Taehyung is and was fascinated with his way of thinking.

-'' I told you he is awesome.'' - Namjoon commented one day when Yoongi shared his insights on the level of maturity of their second youngest member. -'' He always had that dept of wisdom underneath that wonderfully playful mind of his.'' - Their leader continued, looking softly at surprised Yoongi.

Namjoon always went the extra mile to protect Taehyung. Taehyung, being always so quirky and innocent, was not ready for the harsh world, and Namjoon, who knew that all too well, went all in to shield him from it. Jungkook as well, but since maknae was a more careful and closed-up person, Joon felt more responsible for Tae, since his friendly and easily approachable personality made him open to all sorts of attacks from the haters.

Yoongi watched him as he spoke about their second-youngest member with huge adoration.

 - '' Tae has a huge heart, but his mind is a universe of his own. You just didn't want to see it.'' 

-'' It's not true. I was looking.'' - Yoongi grumbles. - '' I just couldn't see it before.'' - He admits in the end.

-'' He is marvellous, our Taehyungie, isn't he?'' - Namjoon gave him a knowing look, and Yoongi nodded, not meeting his eyes.

-'' Yes... he is.''

Their handholding thing became huge with the ARMY, so they continued doing it whenever some small argument threatened to disrupt their friendship's harmony. In time, they held hands even when they played together as a team, which became a common occurrence. And by that time, Yoongi was known for hand-holding. They teased him immensely, especially because of Jimin.

Ever since ARMY got into their heads to ship him with Jimin, the members began teasing him as well. To tell the truth, Yoongi didn't mind it. Jimin was a great guy, and Yoongi felt huge love and respect towards him, which is why it was easy to play along whenever they would do a fan service. It also helped that Jimin was a naturally flirty and touchy guy.

Inspired by Jimin's example, both Taehyung and Jungkook started showing more and more affection to Yoongi as well. In the end, Yoongi was powerless. All of his savage and untouchable personas were breaking down in front of their attention and he was unable to say no to them just like the others were.

Taehyung, who always had that charming slightly sly personality, used that fact the best to his advantage. They became closer and closer as the years went by, they all did, and Yoongi cherished the relationships with each of the members, especially Taehyung. It was their Daegu thing, as he calls it. 

The younger man grew so confident in his power that he would often make Yoongi blush like a girl with a simple touch, and Yoongi would act so annoyed in front of the cameras whenever Taehyung would try to hug him, while in truth, Yoongi loved it, and Taehyung, the cheeky pup, knew that.

Things were fine between them, and even though Yoongi's crush grew into an inevitable friendly acceptance, it was still there, only way softer, especially when Taehyung and Jungkook came out to the group as a couple. Yoongi would lie if he didn't feel the painful stab in his heart at that news, but he was prepared for it, watching the two youngest dancing around each other for years. Yoongi didn't mind it, he was used to the dull pain by now.

He brushed off Hoseok's and Jin's pity looks in their eyes and heard Namjoon's long sigh. Yoongi was happy for them. They all supported them, Yoongi and Jimin especially. They love them and were happy to see them so adorably and stupidly in love, discovering a world of intimacy and closeness that they haven't known before. But the world is a cruel place and the unacceptance of any kind of different love took a toll on them all as they had to protect themselves often in front of the cameras and people that were always there, by separating them.

Yoongi was the most protective over them. He hated the injustice and stupidity of ignorant people. He would ponder about life and their career, wondering if all was worth it. Worth their lives, their youth, and their love. They gave so much already. Both he and Jin Hyung often talked about it before all seven of them sat down one day and talked about whether they should renew their contracts or not.

One time when he was tipsy and emotional, he wrote Taehyung a letter. He still berate himself for this reckless outing of his emotional side, but he couldn't help it. Taehyung felt so miserable for some time now, the pressure of everything weighing heavy on them. So Yoongi just took his phone and start typing.

''Taehyungie,

I've been sitting for a while, pondering how to get my words right, feeling the need to say something to you. We've known each other for a long time now. We've been through the worst and the best together. For all that time I've been marvelling at your strength, your cuteness and your quirkiness. You are so unique, Taehyungie. You are a very special person to me. A very special. You are a rare soul, and because of that, you suffer more than others. The World is not ready for you. I doubt they will ever truly be. There will always be people that don't understand and don't want to even try. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I know I speak for everyone in the group when I say that we will support and protect you no matter what for as long as you need us. You and Jungkookie.

It's a shame that people don't understand love. Their ignorance and stubbornness come from fear. Do not waste your time and energy reading into the nonsense they call words. Remember that not every ARMY is a true ARMY. We are lucky that there are so many good fans that support and love us, but there are a few that are not. Their selfish and negative nature is not powerful, but their acid words are usually the loudest. We are living in a world where being fake has, unfortunately, become a norm. But we can strive to be better than them. Louder. To share love and acceptance, to teach them and guide them. There's no better power than love.

So forget about the bad things, forget about the stupid and hateful people. Love as I know you can, and trust me, you will be loved even more.

Whatever you need, Hyung is there.

Saranghae.''

He regretted being that honest the moment he clicked the ''send'' button. So he wrote another similar, but more brotherly message to Jungkook and sent it as well.

That burst of emotional softness will come biting him in the ass as soon as Taehyung outed him not just to the rest of the members, but ARMY as well. Luckily, he didn't mention what was written in the message, for which Yoongi was grateful, but he still cringed and became embarrassed when Tae disclosed the last word in the letter - Saranghae.

As he was expecting, the members welcomed that to tease him mercilessly, especially Jin Hyung and Jimin, with Jimin going so far that he managed to pull another ''I love you'' for himself in person, in front of the cameras. This was not a good period for Yoongi. Not to mention that he still blushed every time that story was mentioned and Taehyung patted his cheeks in affection.

It became a normal thing. It didn't mean much to Taehyung, since he's affectionate with all members equally, but to Yoongi, it was a sweet torture. Even after all those years, his heart would still flutter when Taehyung was too near, when he touches him, and he had to try really hard to stay unbothered by it.

That's why he accepted flirting from Jimin. They were always dancing around each other. Yoongi was always weak for Jimin's charm. He was cute, lovely and utterly sexy, and Yoongi accepted his offer to ''help each other out'' as Jimin put it bashfully. So they started dating secretly.

Jimin's lips were so soft and wonderful. His body was always strong, filled with muscles which were the complete opposite of Jimin's gentle lovemaking. Jimin was a lover, not a fuckboy, but neither of them was ready for some serious relationship. Not like Taehyung and Jungkook had.

It lasted for a while but in the end, the hook-ups became monotone and didn't develop into anything more, because Jimin knew about Yoongi's not-so-brotherly affection towards his soulmate. He didn't mind. 

-'' I know, Hyung.'' - Jimin have said. - '' I understand the pull you feel towards Tae Tae. I feel it too.'' 

Yoongi blinked at that, not sure if he understood him correctly. - '' Are you saying that you have feelings for him, Jiminah? Like, romantic ones?'' - Yoongi asked curiously.

Jimin thinks for a few seconds and then shakes his head. - '' Not romantically per se.'' - He finally says. - '' I mean, I wouldn't mind doing anything with him, you know. He is my soulmate, and I would do anything with him, but I don't know if romantic is what I would go with, to be honest.'' - He then laughs. - '' I don't think Jungkookie would like that. He doesn't like to share.''

Ah, Jungkook. Yoongi would never betray his trust, even if he has to suffer in silence. He would never do anything to hurt any of them. He loves them all as he never did anyone before. The seven of them were special. They were family, soulmates, all seven of them.

Not long after that, Jimin and he ended their little game and stay just very close friends. Yoongi is utterly thankful for having him in his life.  

A lot has happened since then. They were at the top of their careers, enjoying the fame and rewards of years and years of hard labour. 

As for Taehyung and Jungkook, they were in their turbulent period, breaking up and going back together two times during that time. Yoongi wasn't sure what they are at this moment. His youngest members were still deeply in love with one another, often sharing Jungkook's apartment, but then again, Jimin was often there as well.

Yoongi asked him one day what was that all about, and Jimin just answered. -'' Nothing Hyung, we just have fun, that's all.''

Yoongi raised his eyebrow. - '' Just fun, or fun fun?''

Jimin gave him a wicked smirk. -'' Now wouldn't you like to know?''

Yoongi shook his head in annoyance and said. - '' Forget it, I don't care.''

He turned away from Jimin, but the young man laughed and hugged him from behind, his lips on Yoongi's ear. -'' Just kidding, Hyung.'' - He whispers and Yoongi could hear him smiling. -'' We just play as the goofballs we are, nothing sexual or romantic, so don't fret.''

Yoongi grumbles. -'' I don't care.''

Jimin laughs silently again. Yoongi could feel his body shaking slightly, leaning on him harder. -'' Sure you don't.'' 

He kisses him on the cheek and walks away, and Yoongi takes a deep sigh.

It grew bearable after that, Yoongi was focusing on his work more, not often seeing all of his members when they were not rehearsing or touring. Of course, Namjoon and Hoseok were always around, often helping each other with melodies and beats, but the rest were out doing their own thing. In a way, it was refreshing to be away from Taehyung. He felt he could breathe normally without worrying if his deepest desires would be written on his face whenever the young man do something cute or sexy. ARMY already teased him about the look he has sometimes when he looks at him, but then again, they do it for Jimin as well, so it was not a huge problem. It's more annoyance to him than anything.

When his twenty-sixth birthday came, Taehyung came to his studio when he did a Vlive for the ARMY. His blond hair was matching Yoongi's.

-'' I came to wish you a Happy Birthday, Hyung.'' - Taehyung announced and greeted the ARMY. He sat for a bit, looking like a snack, clinging to him as they read comments together. In the end, he stood up to leave, but not before he made Yoongi even more flustered.

-'' Happy Birthday.'' - Taehyung said once more as he opened the door. 

-'' Yes, thank you. Go on. Press harder to close them.'' - Yoongi said, looking at the screen again, searching for any sign that ARMY got a clue about his feelings.

-'' I love you.'' - Taehyung spoke playfully again, halfway through the door. He loved saying that to the members all the time, and he always expect to be answered the same in return. For Yoongi, however, that word had a much deeper meaning.

Yoongi felt saliva gathering in his mouth quickly. - '' Ah, yes...thank you.''

-'' Why don't you say anything back?'' - Taehyung insisted in front of millions of fans.

Yoongi tried to avoid it, not being the one who shares his feelings so openly, but Taehyung wasn't happy with it. He entered the room again, telling him that he will not leave until he say it.

Seeing that the only way he could get the youth out and gather some of his wits back, he said the words too quietly.

Of course, Taehyung decided to be a teasing ass about it. - '' I'm sorry, what did you say?''

Yoongi sighed defeatedly. - '' I said I love you.'' - He finally answered and was rewarded with a big boxy smile, after which his tormentor left, and Yoongi was alone with ARMY once more. He hoped his cheeks weren't pink as he felt his face burning at that moment.

The very same evening he had one of the strongest orgasms thinking about Taehyung. Yoongi squeezed himself harder as he imagined him between his legs, his deep voice humming around his length, and whispering ''Hyung''. He cummed hard in his hand not a minute later.

And then the photoshoot for their new album - ''Map of the Soul:7''  came and Yoongi was fucked, figuratively. The theme was ''Black Swan'' and they were dressed in black from head to toe. Taehyung's dark curly hair made him even more gorgeous, and the black outfit did something hot to Yoongi's stomach, waking up the certain attraction Yoongi has buried deep inside himself. He loved the colour black, and he loved seeing Taehyung wearing it as well.

If he thought it was bad before, nothing could prepare him for the lust he felt at that moment.

Things changed in the past few months. At first, Yoongi didn't see it, but then, gradually, he became aware of that. Taehyung was different. Of course, he was much older, and more mature, not to mention that he looked like a god of lust, but there was something else, something deeper and it was this time directed straight towards Yoongi.

At first, it was accidental touches, frequent hugs and attention-seeking. Then it was lingering gazes and silent observing. And then there were sudden questions that caught Yoongi unguarded.

They were sitting in the lounge. Other members roamed around the place here and there. Jimin and Hoseok were in the corner having their makeup fixed, Namjoon wrote something on his phone in the furthest corner of the room, while Jin and Jungkook chased each other, playing, as always.

Only Yoongi and Taehyung were left sitting on two secluded chairs in the lounge, each on their phones.

-'' Hyung.'' - Taehyung called.

-'' Hmm?'' - Came Yoongi's answer, eyes still on the screen.

-'' Do I look handsome to you?'' - The younger man asked calmly.

Yoongi's eyes snapped at that, meeting Taehyung's serious ones. He gulped quickly, eyes returning to the phone as he pretended to scroll through it again.

-'' You always look handsome, Taehyungie.'' - He answers nonchalantly.

-'' Always?'' - Taehyung insisted.

Yoongi took a breath and gulped again. Where did this come from?

-'' Mmm...'' - He hummed and nodded his head once. He could feel Taehyung's eyes on him.

There was a few seconds of silence, and Yoongi thought the questioning was over, but then Taehyung's deep velvety voice was heard one more.

-'' Do you watch me often, Hyung?'' - He says in a low seductive tone.

Damn, that voice...

The question held curiosity and something much darker that Yoongi was unable to place yet.

He ignores the goosebumps on his body and answers matter-of-factly. -'' Me, and everybody else, Tae.''

He makes a mistake and looks at the man in front of him, and almost chokes on his saliva, his heart thumping like crazy when he saw Taehyung's soul-searching stare, in full makeup and hair on, looking like a supermodel. Perfect in any way possible.

His answer seemed not to be to Taehyung's satisfaction, and he pouted slightly, tilting his head to the side. His eyes were glued and unfocused somewhere on the chair that Yoongi was sitting on.

Yoongi admired him in silence, glancing under his raven locks that fell on his forehead when Teahyung's eyes, suddenly, bore into his again. Yoongi felt his entire body tingle. He had to use every bit of energy to stay composed and cool. He stared back at him with the same intensity.

They were interrupted by Hoseok, calling the back to the shooting. The break is over it seems, Yoongi thought, still slightly shaken by Taehyung's behaviour. He sighed deeply, tucked his phone in his pocket and stood up. As he reached the door, he felt a warm palm on his nape, sliding down to the small of his back. He shuddered and froze, glancing at the person behind him only to find Taehyung. The latter winked and pass next to him through the door.

Yoongi stood for a few seconds, breathing to calm himself, his heart thumping so fast. What was this about? Sure, Taehyung was always affectionate and touchy, but this was different. To be honest, Taehyung has been acting weird lately, especially with Yoongi. What about Jungkook? He wondered silently. 

Yoongi jumped when he heard someone calling his name again. It was Jin this time. He shook his head and forced himself to walk.

Since that day, neither of them was alone in the room. There was always another member present, but Yoongi caught Taehyung's glances his way more than once. He felt excitement and confusion at the same time because he had no idea what that meant.

When the time came for them to shoot their music video for ''On'' in Los Angeles, Yoongi was sweating, and the sun and all the dancing had nothing to do with it. It was Taehyung, looking so fine and sexy, with his big ass fake tattoo on his neck and the words ''The Shadow like me'' written under his right eye.

The word ''shadow'' matched his own song ''Interlude: Shadow''. Yoongi knew that they used the word often because it fits the entire concept of their album trilogy based on Jung's psychology and all, but the tattoo on Taehyung's cheek was Tae's idea, plus Tae spent the entire week going around rapping Yoongi's song when it came out.

When promotions started, Jungkook could already be seen all over Taehyung. They didn't even try to hide much in front of the camera. They cling to each other, gazing into each other's eyes and being so obviously infatuated with each other that Yoongi got his hopes crushed before they could completely form. But still, Taehyung was watching him, touching him and seeking his presence often. Yoongi was at a loss for what it all meant.

When COVID-19 struck and the world turned into chaos, Yoongi went to have his shoulder surgery. All members were worried for his well-being and would call him or send him messages every day, but besides Jimin, only Taehyung was able to keep him on the line long into the night, talking about everything. He would tell him about things they did, and how empty it was without him around.

-'' It's like a part of my limb is missing, Hyung. Nothing is good when we are not together.''

Yoongi could hear that something was not right with Taehyung, but whenever he asked the man would just chuckle. - '' It's nothing, Hyung, just insecurities. The World is a scary place at the moment.''

Yoongi had to agree with that, but even so, he felt that there was something much deeper that was bothering Taehyung. The thing that the young man didn't want to disclose.

After almost a year things went back to somewhat ''normal'' and Yoongi was long back. They just had another album and a few songs, trying to win that bloody Grammy, but after their third nomination without winning, Yoongi didn't want it anymore. It was his wish to win it, yes, but then they refused to accept their Korean songs as they are not ''understandable'' to many because of the language barriers, and then when they turn all-English songs, they still didn't win it, even with all support of their ARMY's. The last song they did had a good heartfelt message and was worldwide accepted, but that also didn't win them shit, and it was then that Yoongi knew it was all a set-up. The other members thought the same. They were just using them for promotions because they know that ARMY is a power to be reckoned with. Without them, the event organizations barely had half of the hype they did before the ARMY joined in.

Also, their enlistment was approaching, and they were all anxious about that. Jin tried to hold the confident mask on, but Yoongi knew he was worried as well. Still, there was some time left for them to have another album before they began their solo projects for a while.

In all that craziness Yoongi was almost always in the studio, working on the music for his new August D album, and several other projects as well, besides practising choreo for their upcoming USA tour, that he didn't see the romantic shifts within the group until way later.

When they went to Las Vegas for their tour, he knew things have changed, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly how. He sat next to Jin on their way to America when Yoongi casually commented that Taehyung and Jungkook, for once, are not in each other's lap as they usually are on the tour.

Jin's eyebrows went high at that. -'' Are you honestly don't know, Yoongichi?'' - He asked, smirking.

-'' Know what?'' - Yoongi asked confused.

Jin opened his mouth to answer, but then their manager came to them to run over some last schedule details. The subject was forgotten after that.

The first concert felt good after a long time. They were a bit nervous but thrilled to be back on the stage and perform in front of their ARMY. They were tired, but so happy that night. Taehyung was especially playful and flirty. He, Jungkook and Jimin were like firecrackers, and Yoongi was glad to see them filled with joy.

However, what made him pause more than a few times that evening was the way Taehyung would stare at him. The younger man looked as if he wanted something, only to think better and just smile, shaking his head at Yoongi's silent question.

That same night, though, Taehyung came to his hotel room.

-'' Hyung, are you working on something important?'' - He asked when Yoongi opened the door. They each had their own rooms nowadays when they went on tours, for which Yoongi was eternally thankful.

Yoongi was surprised to see him and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before shaking his head. -'' N-no, no. Come in.'' - He moved to let the younger man pass.

He closed the door and took a deep breath before turning around. It's probably nothing. He thinks frantically. He just wants to and out or do something natural.

When he turns he was met with the sight which almost made him whimper audibly. Taehyung sat at the end of his bed, his legs spread wide in the loose black pans, he was barefoot. He was leaning back on his arms, his chest showing in a white t-shirt. His head was tilted to the side with black curls swept from his forehead, under which two half-lidded eyes were watching him.

Yoongi gulped and moved towards the table, leaning on it. -'' So...what's up?'' - He asked quietly.

Taehyung just stared at him, his eyes bore into Yoongi's soul and he felt almost naked and small. He huffed a nervous laugh. -'' Why are you looking at me like that?'' - He asked, dropping his gaze, unable to withstand the man's eyes on his.

There is a time when Taehyung's personality changes to something much darker and more alluring. They've all seen it...hell, they all felt it more than once. Taehyung wouldn't care if it was in front of the cameras or not. He would just turn on his ''sexy'' mood, as Hoseok called it. Taehyung and Jimin worked in a similar way, with the only difference being that Jimin would grow embarrassed and starts to laugh, while Taehyung stays in his role.

Even Hoseok gets flustered and uncomfortable when Taehyung turns his seductive mode on. Namjoon freezes when that happens, while Jungkook has an internal fight not to give in and do something stupid in front of everyone, like kiss him silly.

Only Jin manages to withstand it, turning into a comical, but even he was a bit shaken when Taehyung leaned close while singing their verse in ''So what'' trying to lift Jin's chin up with his fingers so their lips will brush.

But he never did that to Yoongi...until now.

Yoongi couldn't breathe properly when Taehyung stood up from his bed and walked slowly towards him, caging him to the table with his body.

If others were here, Yoongi would shout and push Taehyung playfully, like he always does, but this time he was unable to move. He felt like his body is not working.

-'' Hyung, look at me. Please.'' - He added when Yoongi didn't move.

Their eyes met at that and Yoongi almost gasped and the close proximity they found themselves. His heart was beating hard and he felt his palms getting sweaty. Taehyung smelled wonderful and warm, and Yoongi's once-controlled crush rushed back tenfold.

There was concern in Taehyung's eyes and a lot of determination. He licked his lips and took a breath. - '' Hyung, tell me if I'm reading this wrong.'' - He said and leaned in. Yoongi gasped and froze, and so did Taehyung.

-'' Taehyung, what are you doing?'' - Yoongi asked breathlessly, eyes wide as he stared at the taller man.

Taehyung's brows furrow slightly. - '' Trying to kiss you. Can I?'' - He answers innocently. All of his cockiness and dominance disappeared in that instant, turning into the sweet dongsaeng he is.

-'' Taehyung, don't play games with me.'' - Yoongi whispered. - '' Enough.''

There was confusion, then pain in Taehyung's eyes. -'' You...you don't like me, Hyung?'' - He asks in a small voice, moving slightly away, but still close. - '' I thought... the way you look at me...I'm sorry, Hyung. I was wrong.''

Yoongi closed his eyes and inhaled the much-needed air. He released it in a long huff and open his eyes. - '' Taehyungie, come, let's sit down.'' - He pushes him gently towards the bed again. -'' Tell, Hyung what's going on, hmm?'' - He asks once they were both seated.

Taehyung curbs to himself, gaze cast down as his chin wobbled.

-'' Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me, darling. Don't shut me down.'' - Yoongi reached for his hands, interlocking their fingers together. - '' I told you I'm always here for you, didn't I?''

Taehyung still fought tears, breathing deeply. Yoongi watched him worryingly. -'' Taehyungie, what happened? Why do you suddenly act this way?''

At that, Taehyung looks at him. - '' Suddenly?'' - He whispers and then chuckles sadly. - '' Hyung, I've been trying to get your attention for a long time.''

Yoongi blinked a few times to clear his mind. He didn't understand any of this. - '' What do you mean?''

-'' I've always liked you, Suga Hyung.'' - Taehyung admits. -'' Always. Ask Jimin.''

Yoongi's heart was drumming loudly now, his entire body tensing at this revelation. - '' But...but you are with Jungkook.'' - He says confused.

Taehyung's brows furrow at that. -'' We broke up a while ago, during the pandemic. I thought you knew.''

Yoongi's eyes went even wider as he shook his head, suddenly Seokjin's words on the plane made sense. -'' No, I didn't know.'' - He says and then asks. -'' Why?''

Taehyung shrugs. -'' Difficult times, different worries, a different way of coping. We've ended things too many times, only to go back together in hope that something will change. It never does. It goes well in the beginning and then goes downwards each time. We grew tired of it.'' - He says calmly, glancing at his Hyung. 

Yoongi still couldn't wrap his mind around all of this. How could he not have noticed? It was right in front of him. He thinks, but then again, Yoongi is well-versed in shutting down any suggestion or hope that might arise from his dongsaengs relationship, unless they were attacked by the evil tongues.

-'' Are you sure you and Jungkook could not try again? You've been together for so long.''

-'' No, Hyung.'' - Taehyung shakes his head. -'' Trust me, we tried over and over again, and then we sat and talked long and wide. We came to the same conclusion. There will always be a special place for him in my heart, but we are just the best of friends now. Our hearts are at ease. It's been like this for a long while.''

He sat in silence for a moment, thinking when one part of Taehyung's confession came to his mind. He raises his eyes to meet Taehyung's expectant ones.

-'' Taehyungie... what did you mean when you said that you wanted my attention for a long time?'' - He asks slowly.

Taehyung lowers his eyes while sucking his lower lip between his teeth before releasing it. -'' I had a crush on you for a while.'' - He says slowly. -'' Ever since our ''Map of the Soul:7'' album. I don't know what happened, I just...couldn't stop looking at you.''

Yoongi swallows hard at that. - '' I can't imagine Jungkook liking that.''

Taehyung snorts. -'' No, he didn't, but hey, I was patient with his not-so-secret Rapmon Hyung crush for years.''

Yoongi huffs a laugh at that. - '' Yeah, everyone knew about it, all except Namjoon himself. He was clueless.'' - He adds.

-'' So were you, Hyung.'' - Taehyung says seriously and Yoongi stopped laughing.

-'' No. I'm not.'' - Yoongi says. -'' I was always aware of my feelings.''

He swallowed again and licked his lips, the move which Taehyung watched with rapt attention. -'' I never said I didn't like you.'' - He added.

Taehyung's eyes bore into his at this point. - '' But...you rejected me when I tried to kiss you just now.''

Yoongi shook his head, lowering his gaze for a moment before returning them to Taehyung's gorgeous face. - '' I didn't want to be played with. I thought you were with Jungkook and that you were just playing with me. I'm too old for games like that.''

-'' Hyung, I would never.'' - Taehyung begins.

-'' I know you wouldn't, but I'm insecure about what I feel because I know I shouldn't. I'm in this denial for far too long.''

There was a moment of silence where neither of them spoke, only looking at each other before Taehyung asked. - '' How long?''

Yoongi held his gaze, not wavering this time. - '' Long, long time.''

-'' Since the letter?'' - Taehyung asks and Yoongi almost snorts.

-'' Way longer than that.'' - He answers.

Taehyung's face furrows in a worried look. - '' But why didn't you say anything?''

Yoongi shrugs. - '' You had Jungkook. You looked happy.''

Taehyung wanted to cry. - '' But you weren't.''

Yoongi shrugs again. -'' It doesn't matter.''

-'' It does matter!'' - Taehyung almost yells. -'' It matters what you feel. You matter, Hyung. Ah, you had no idea how much I've been wanting your attention, your approval. How much I wanted you to like me, since the beginning.''

Yoong furrowed his brows at that. - '' You never showed the inclination that you wanted that. What's more, you acted like you didn't like to be close to me at all back in the day.''

-'' I was afraid of you back then, Hyung.'' - There were tears in Taehyung's eyes for sure now. - '' I heard you calling me annoying when you talked to Namjoon Hyung one day before we debuted and it stuck with me so much. I never wanted to bother you again.''

Yoongi felt like shit right now, remembering how unapproachable he was for the maknaes in the beginning. He nods more to himself. -'' Yeah, I was an asshole back then. I'm so sorry, Taehyung.''

-'' You only ever gave me a chance in Hawaii.'' - Taehyung spoke quietly, leaning closer.

-'' I'm glad they paired us together back then. We grew closer since.'' - Yoongi admits.

Taehyung nods. - '' We did.''

After a moment he adds. -'' I had dreams about you. Jimin laughed so much when I confided in him. I wanted to slap him, but he only said that I should tell you. I thought he was mental.''

Yoongi snorts loudly at that.

-'' But then I remember your gazes, and something clicked for me. Suddenly Jimin's words made sense.'' - Taehyung continues. - '' So I came here...''

He paused, leaning closer. -'' I'm not playing, Hyung. I have feelings for you. I realized how big when you went to your surgery and I couldn't see you for a long time.''

A huge lava irrupted in Yoongi's belly at those words. He didn't know what to say, his mind swirling with the images of pouncing on him and kissing him deeply like he always wanted.

- '' Hyung.'' - Taehyung's voice interrupted his raging thoughts.

-'' Hmm?"

-'' Kiss me, please.''

Yoongi reached to touch Taehyung's face with his other hand, cupping his cheek. - '' Are you sure you want me?'' - He asks to be sure. It all seemed like a dream.

Taehyung looks at him with his soul-searching stare. - '' I always wanted you, even though I didn't realise in which way until later on.''

-'' But now you do?'' - Yoongi asks again.

Taehyung nods. -'' You know I love you, don't you?'' - He asks, and Yoongi nods.

-'' Only now it's on a much deeper level. I want you, Hyung.'' - He licks his lips and lets out a shaky breath. - '' I just hope you want me, too.''

-'' I'm in love with you for years, Taehyungie.'' - Yoongi admits.

Taehyung's pupils went wide and he connects their foreheads together.

-'' I know things will be difficult, we have enlistment and all, but I really want us to try.'' - He says.

-'' Try what? Being together?'' - Yoongi asks hopefully.

Taehyung nods. -'' I would love that more than anything.

Yoongi gulps, feeling his heart thumping hard. - ''I want to do so many things with you, but I feel like I would mess things up If we go too fast.'' - He admits.

Taehyung smiles and shakes his head. -'' You can never mess things up, Hyung.'' - He said lovingly. -'' But I get what you try to say. We can go slow.''

He nudges his nose to Yoongi's. - '' Can you kiss me now? Hyung, please.''

Yoongi lets another shaky breath and slowly connects their lips together. It was way better than he could ever imagine. 

________________________________________________

My sweet darlings, I know you were waiting for something hot and sexy in the end, but the way I wrote this has no room for some naughty shenanigans that I'm known for. It's emotions, and as such they should be the centre stage. So, do forgive me. 

I still hope you liked the story. It has been sitting in my scribbles for quite a while. Taegi always had a special place for me. Until the next story, my darlings. Stay safe and loved. 💜💜💜