Jimin focus

The thirteenth day was almost over and Jimin could feel every muscle in his body though he had to say that he was unexpectedly blithely given they stood up at five and went to bed a little before midnight. Also, they had fit in a fourth meal after the work-out with purely proteins to provide all crewmembers with enough energy for the hard program. And everyone was progressing satisfyingly. Even Yoongi who hated sports was motivated.

The only problem was not getting bored after Hoseok's training. When he had asked why there did not exist something like a holodeck or at least something equally fun, Namjoon had explained to him why holodecks did not work and Hoseok had emphasized that this was a military ship for -normally- short missions and not an Explorer. Apparently, the biggest part of the ship where the circular accelerators (or cores), the reactor, the anti-matter traps, water tanks and Bang's 'brain'. And for the crew there was only the gym, the shooting range and the private rooms to find some entertainment. That much to exploring the ship. But because Bang's range of computer games and movies was small, too, Jimin was bored out of his mind. He had not dared to visit Jungkook again because he was unsure of what could happen if he did, and so he had spent his evenings alone in his room with his coward thoughts.

However, the bridge was the only remotely interesting place because one could look out of the window, and that was why he was on his way there. But when the door opened, he already found the room occupied by Taehyung. The pilot had his feet on the panel and seemed to not have noticed his entrance. Good for Jimin. After their shower encounter he had used his private bathroom after the training and it had been mostly weird between them, so this was his chance to leave unseen. But on the other hand, his behavior was childish, and he should definitely talk to the V about what happened. So, he stood in the door unsure of what to do until the pilot made the decision for him.

"Jimin." The younger pulled the music headset out of one ear.

"Hey," he greeted the other weakly. Why must Vs have such a good perception? "What are you listening to?"

He walked over to Taehyung and took the wireless earpiece that was handed to him. This song must be very old, if not ancient. Things like that were barely played in those days.

https://youtu.be/0fknob2IEh4

Today's music was produced by AIs that used several stimulating frequencies* to induce various emotions in the human brain, a method that was also used for neuroenhancement in some jobs. So, to have a pure piano piece was rather seldom. Even the neo-classical works were written by AIs and combined with those frequencies, though they were occasionally performed by a real orchestra with a DJ.

"Your taste in music is quite... unique," Jimin stated and handed back the earpiece. It was not that he disliked it, he just was not sure what to think. He would not have expected Taehyung of all people to listen to this kind of music.

"An old friend of mine was obsessed with the old music, and he made me fall in love with it, too," the V explained.

"A childhood hacker buddy?" Jimin asked with a smile and sat down on the small armrest of the other's chair.

"He was a pianist." The younger looked up at him with a mischievous smile.

Jimin's eyes widened amazed. He never had heard of any pianist on V. Those people worked for the banks, and he could not see were a musician would fit into this system. "But..."

"He earned even more money than I did," the pilot continued. "Do you know why?"

Jimin shook his head.

"Because the special frequencies and beats we call music today lack one very important thing." Taehyung made a short break as if he expected him to ask for that important ingredient. "They lack feelings."

Jimin furrowed his brows. "But it's made to induce feelings. Isn't that the same?"

The taller smiled pitifully. "No, it's not. The feelings a human can create are different. Because how can something without a body feel what we feel when we listen to music? How can a computer know how the ones and zeros it combines stimulate a real body? It does not know the urge in the chest and the vibration of the mind that's caused by a song which was created from a person's sorrow and joy." Taehyung's coffee eyes burned almost feverishly, and his deep excited voice made Jimin's chest tighten. He envied the V for his burning ardor. "What story can an AI tell us with its music when it has no own emotions?" Taehyung seemed to search for the answer in his eyes. "None. We're not algorithms, we're a chaos of hormones and neuronal thunderstorms that goes beyond artificial compare," the younger finished.

Jimin had to look away from the eyes that pierced into his, so he stared at his hands. "But humanoids can play the piano, too. They play it even more perfect than humans," he argued quietly.

"But isn't this exactly the problem?" Taehyung asked, and they locked eyes again. Jimin felt like he was drowning. "I want the flaws, I want the interpretations that vary with every pianist who puts his soul into a work. I want the missed keys and the smile of the musician when he tries to cover it up. Not the cold and perfect copy from a humanoid."

Taehyung looked down, and Jimin felt like he could breathe again. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked the younger.

"Because you remind me of that friend," the V admitted. "Just like him you fight against prejudice and stereotypes. You're smart, really smart, but no-one takes the time to look beyond the façade of the Charmer."

Jimin chewed on his bottom lip. This sounded way too nice and comforting for the things he had done. Nervously, he fiddled with a loose thread on the pilot's chair. "But didn't I proof that I'm a manipulative Charmer back in the women's shower? I'm even worse, because I can't control it like a real Charmer. I'm just a half-breed, not good enough for the Charmers and not worth more than a nice fuck for humans." He swallowed hard at the memories that began to swamp his mind. Whispers behind his back and unfulfilled promises to call after a shared night. The way he had learned to see lies and the feeling of being surrounded by people with faces hidden behind the white mask of a false tongue. The coldness that would not become better with turning up the heater or curling up under the blanket. He felt the sting of tears at the back of his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip. He was not just a weird rarity, he wanted to be loved like a human, too.

Taehyung jumped up, cupped his face and leaned down to look at him. "NEVER -you hear me- never say that again!"

Jimin stared at the V in shock, unable to say something. He would have never expected that Taehyung could be this intimidating. The V seemed to burn the air around him.

But then the dangerous heat lessened, and the pilot's coffee eyes became warm and loving. "You're one of the most beautiful and most interesting people I ever met." Somehow, Jimin knew from the soft tone the other spoke in that Taehyung did not mean his physical appearance. "Don't you dare think lowly of yourself just because your parents happened to be from two distinct species. How's it your fault that you can't control your charms when you're horny? Hell, even humans can barely control their body when it comes to lust."

Jimin chuckled though he felt a tear running down his cheek. "That's the strangest nice compliment I ever received from anyone."

Taehyung brushed away the tear. "Jungkook would shower you with compliments if that mute idiot would start opening his mouth," the V growled frustrated.

"Jungkook?" Jimin asked confused. The kiss flashed through his head.

Taehyung pressed his lips into a thin line. "However, have you been showering in your private bathroom all the time to avoid me?"

Jimin was still confused with the mentioning of the raven, but he nodded a little absently.

"I'm sorry," the pilot said and let go of his face. "Vs are not that prude. I just wanted to look into your eyes when I asked you that question."

"What question?" He had completely overheard what Taehyung had asked him back then. He had been distracted by too much bared skin. Even the thought of it, made his cheeks heat up again.

"Oh, I see. You were too busy staring at me," the V said with a knowing grin. "Well, it's not that important. For now. Whatever, I'm going to meet Jungkook and Jin to play some games. Wanna join?"

"Sure," Jimin mumbled, still a little embarrassed, but then something else found the way from his mind over his tongue, "Where's that song from you showed me?"

Taehyung turned around to him with a knowing glint in his eyes. "It's from an ancient movie in which a bunch of society cast-outs who suffer from prejudice and ignorance find a home and a family within each other."

Jimin smiled softly. He liked the song.

><

Gaming with Jin, Jungkook and Tae had been fun, and they had joked and chatted for hours, but now everyone had gone back to their rooms and Jimin stared at his starry ceiling in silence. His eyes were droopy, but he was too lazy to get up and dress for bed.

When he almost fell asleep, Bang suddenly spoke. "Jimin?" the uncle voice asked softly.

"Yes, Bang?"

"How does it feel to feel?" the AI asked.

Jimin smiled. It must have listened to Taehyung and him.

"It's overwhelming and confusing most of the time," he said.

"What is it like to be confused or overwhelmed?" Bang asked. Jimin found it cute how the computer asked him things like this.

And then, an interesting idea formed in his head. "Let's try something," he said to the AI. "Can you detach some space of your computing units with the current tasks on it to do a small simulation? If possible, choose one that's not busy with important tasks like life support systems or propulsion."

"I can do that."

This was the next step of his little experiment, Jimin realized, and it had come much earlier than expected. He took some seconds to think about how he could make a computer feel, then he spoke, "You can ask me for any emotion and I'll try to give you instructions to simulate it the best I can. I can't guaranty you anything, but we can try."

"Okay," the AI agreed. "Confusion."

Jimin thought about it for a moment. "Put every task that's processed on those detached units to maximum priority," Jimin said and waited.

Bang took half a minute before he said something again. "I understand. Boredom."

Jimin tried to remember the little knowledge of CPU and GPU clusters** he possessed. "Set all your clock rates to maximum and lessen the difficult tasks you're working on."

"I'm insufficiently challenged," Bang noted and almost sounded bored.

"That's how boredom feels," Jimin replied and laughed. This was beginning to be fun.

"I understand. Attentiveness."

Jimin crossed his arms behind his head, eyes still closed. "Hm. Always check all the input you get regardless if someone is using the ship's area or not."

Again, some time passed before the board AI spoke up. "I understand. Stress."

"Process some more tasks on the detached units and compute them only on ten percent of the capacity," he answered instantly.

"My cooling system is not made for computing like this. I'll have to lower my clock rates to maintain working, but then I'll become inefficient," the AI said after some minutes.

"And that's exactly the same with people," Jimin replied satisfied.

"I understand," Bang said once more.

"People don't like recurrence of sentences. It gives us the feeling of speaking with a limited mind," Jimin interrupted.

"I'll memorize that," Bang replied, and Jimin grinned satisfied. "Anger."

This one was harder. His first idea was to make Bang shut down his cooling system, but that would only cause him to slow down because of the physical effect and not to experience anger. How could a computer simulate a feeling that was more physical than mental? The burning energy that flooded every vein and vessel, that limited sight and that urge to get physically exhausted? Anger mostly resulted out of frustration, but computers did not become frustrated. That was one reason they were better than humans at problem solving. Doing a calculation for thousands of times was nothing a CPU-brain had problems with, whereas humans would give up after maybe ten times. Disappointed, he realized that there was no way to simulate anger. "I don't know how to simulate that, Bang. I'm sorry."

"No problem. Can you describe sadness?"

Jimin mused again. "I guess it's like decreasing your memory clock rates."

The AI, again, tried what he had suggested. "This is very inefficient," it then said.

He nodded subconsciously. "People become inefficient when they're sad. It's slightly similar to depression, but sadness also hurts physically. It's a stinging pain in the chest slightly above the heart. This heart break feeling is caused by the thyroid's*** stress hormones which briefly paralyze the heart muscle. But I can't make you simulate that. Sorry," Jimin said and meant it. He would love to make Bang feel, but he could only do that much.

"It's better than nothing," the computer appeased him. "How does joy feel?"

Jimin chuckled. "Overclock your system. If you can, that is. I don't want you to ruin your hardware."

"It's okay," the AI assured him.

"I never did this before," Bang said after some seconds, and his voice was strangely vibrant. "It is..."

"Fun?" Jimin offered with a grin.

"If fun means that it's much better than anything before, then yes," the AI replied.

Jimin grinned happily. It was like watching a child learning to walk. Dorky and cute. "But there is a saying," he warned Bang, "Too much of the good is poisonous."

"I'll keep that in mind," the uncle voice answered back in its normal tune. "What does love feel like?"

Jimin had waited for this since the moment they had started this, so his answer was already thought through. "Shut down everything, except for our conversation without saving the data and spent the whole capacity on us. Try to take in every aspect of us. The data you get from my body, the data you get from my room, the information that's connected to me by that input. And then add confusion and joy."

Bang was silent for a very long time.

When he spoke again, his voice was gentle and almost inaudible. "Thank you, Jimin."

>><<

*Those neuroenhancement frequencies are not my invention. You can find them even on YT. There are some that increase concentration, and others even stimulate the body's natural healing ability.

**The CPU (central processing unit) is like the brain of every normal computer and if you have a collection of CPUs, a so-called cluster, you can process many different tasks at the same time. The GPU (graphic processing unit) is useful for processing several identical tasks parallelly. It's good for optimization and statistical analyses. Combining several thousand CPUs and GPUs in a practicable fashion can get you a pretty nice computer brain.

***The thyroid is one of the most important glands of the body. It's shaped like a butterfly and is positioned slightly underneath the Adam's apple (you can feel it). It mostly regulates metabolism and therefore also things like the body temperature, but it also affects the heart, the lungs, the stomach and the bowel, as well as the muscles and nerves in general.