―

Hannah furrowed her eyebrows as she, Elodie and Adam walked back to the Gallagher house, seeing Carl, Lip and Debbie cutting up giant pieces of meet in the back yard.

"The fuck is going on here?" Hannah asked with a chuckle, hopping over the fence with ease, her friends doing the same, struggling.

"Stole it from a truck." Lip shrugged.

Hannah grinned as Debbie passed her an axe, "Cool."

"Also, Steve's gonna give you twenty bucks if you tell Fiona she can spend the night with him at a hotel." Her little sister said.

"Cool," Hannah nodded, turning to her friends, "You guys wanna stay the night?"

"Sure."

"Then grab an axe." The redhead grinned, her friends complying.

The back door then opened, Steve dragging out Fiona, asking, "You think you guys can survive one night without Fiona?"

"No!" Debbie cried with a frown, "Heh. Kidding." She chuckled.

"Sure." Cal nodded.

"Yeah, have a great time." Lip added.

"Get drunk, fuck a lot," Hannah shrugged, "Whatever you want."

Fiona rolled her eyes with a sigh, "Debs, go pick up Liam from Sheila's."

"No, wait. Debs, hold on." Steve stopped the girl from moving, following his girlfriend back inside.

―

With all of the meat finally cut up, Lip, Debbie, Carl, Hannah, Elodie and Adam walked into the living room, which was covered in mail.

"What's all this?" Lip asked as they all took off their coats.

"Frank's bills," Fiona scoffed, looking through each one, "Six hundred and eighty dollars at Murphy's Liquor." She shook her head.

Lip picked one up, "Twelve hundred at the Windy Titty?"

Hannah cringed, "Gross."

"A grand to Big Lenny?" Debbie raised an eyebrow.

"Drug dealers take credit cards?" Carl asked.

"Among other things." Hannah hummed, taking the letter out of her younger sister's hand.

"He bought a 65-inch flat-screen?" Adam raised an eyebrow.

"Where the hell is that?" Lip asked.

"Wait, let me see those," Fiona said, everyone handing the bills over, "Unbelievable." She scoffed.

"What?" Debbie wondered.

"He used our names to get the cards." Fiona shook her head with a scoff.

"Cool," Carl grinned, "I just got a subscription to Penthouse." He laughed.

―

Fiona and Steve had gone on their getaway and Lip and Adam had made lunch out of the meat, which everyone - minus Ian - were digging into.

"Ketchup me." Hannah said, wiping barbecue sauce off of the side of her mouth.

"That's attractive." Carl chortled, handing over the requested condiment.

"I know." Hannah grinned, as the front door slammed and a beat up Frank approached them all.

"What happened to you?" Lip asked.

"Uh, a huge guy jumped me. Two eighty, two ninety, steroids... Who knows?" Frank exclaimed.

"Good for him." Lip hummed.

"I need your help." Frank told them.

Hannah rolled her eyes, "What else is new."

Debbie shrugged, "I got maybe two bucks."

"No, no, no," Frank shook his head, "Show of hands. How many of you, at one point or another, wanted to see me dead?"

Lip, Hannah and Carl immediately raised their hands, followed shortly by Debbie, then Elodie and Adam.

"Yeah!" Frank rejoiced, "Here's your chance."

―

"You sure we can take these?" Elodie asked, as she, Hannah and Adam stood outside the church.

"Nope," Hannah smirked, swiping the box of programmes that were on a table outside the building, flipping through them, "Generic. Brilliant." She grinned.

"Hey!" A voice from inside shouted through the open door.

"Oh, God." Adam muttered.

"Fuck, run!" Hannah told them, the trio running away, laughing.

―

The next morning, the Gallaghers, the Cuthberts, Kevin and Veronica were on full form, bustling around to get the fake funeral on the way.

"Zip me up?" Hannah asked her brother.

"Sure." Lip nodded, zipping up her black dress as the door opened and Steve and Fiona walked in, Liam in the latter's arms.

"What the hell?" Fiona exclaimed when she saw everyone bustling around. The eldest Gallagher caught Debbie as she came downstairs, "Debbie! What's going on?"

"Some killers are after Dad. We have to fake his death," Debbie told her, "Lip borrowed a casket, Carl found some flowers and Hannah got us some programmes. Dad's getting changed. I steamed your dress. You have to hurry because they'll be here any minute," She then looked back at the living room, "Anybody seen Ian?"

―

"Stuff the ice in his shirt." Fiona told Carl - who was shoving ice down his clothes - as Debbie was putting make-up on him to look pale.

"Stop, enough." Frank squirmed.

Fiona rolled her eyes, "Your body needs to be cold."

"More morphine." Frank slurred.

"It's horse tranquilizer." Veronica corrected him.

"Get in the coffin before you pass out." Lip rolled his eyes.

"Just a little taste?" Frank begged.

"I don't know why we do this for you." Lip sighed.

"You think it's easy being a parent?" Frank asked, standing up, "Letting Fiona be the good cop?" He added, making everyone raise an eyebrow at the man, "The important thing is you kids. Carl. I remember when the nurse in the hospital handed you to me."

"Carl was born in the back of the van," Lip said through gritted teeth, "You weren't there."

"I slapped his little ass myself." Frank cried, Lip having enough of their father's blabbering punch him in the face, the man passing out.

"You said I could do that part!" Hannah pouted, Adam putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sure you will another day." The boy said as Frank was lifted into the coffin.

Hannah nodded, "I guess."

"Looks dead," Veronica hummed, examining him, "Shallow breathing, clammy. Hey, Carl, more ice."

"Got it." The boy nodded, resting another bag of ice on his head.

―

Angelic hymns played through the speaker as the front door opened and the two men after Frank came in and looked at the stolen programmes, the family gather around his coffin, 'crying'.

"Sorry for your loss." The shorter man said.

"It was a shock." Fiona sniffed.

"I'm sure," The short man nodded, "Accident, was it?"

"Suicide." Lip shook his head, making more fake sobs appear.

The spikey-haired man nodding before running over to Frank and punching him with a yell, "I know you're faking it," He shook Frank, "Come on, open your eyes, you lying, squirrelly sack of shit." He glared with a harsh slap.

"Jesus, Rob." The taller man said, pulling him away from Frank's body.

"You're alive, I know it. Come on." Rob screamed at Frank.

"What's the matter with you?" The other man yanked Rob away from the casket, "Look at him, he's dead," He then turned to the family, "Sorry. He's been under a lot of stress."

"Gonna check with the boss," Rob said as the other man got his phone out from his pocket, "Nobody move."

"Yeah, there's nothing here worth taking," The taller man said into the phone, "Unless you want the girls. One of them's eleven, twelve. The other two are fourteen, fifteen. The kid? No, she's cute, but not really a looker. The other two, though. Different story."

That comment made Adam put a protective arm around both girls.

"Classy." Hannah muttered.

―

Frank's coffin was now in the ground, full of discarded meat and his 'wake' was in full swing.

Kevin's speech about Frank was incredibly moving. If only if any of it were true.

As soon as the two men left the bar, Frank entered the room, his hands victoriously in the air, "Gonna take more than that to put out the lights on Frank Gallagher. Next round's on me. Yeah!"

"Endless ribs and seeing my Dad dead," Hannah sighed as she stood between Adam and Elodie, "Best week ever."