―

"Lunch!" Fiona's voice echoed through the Gallagher house, "Eat it or miss it, people!"

Her younger siblings scrambled downstairs, Hannah placing Liam into his highchair.

Seeing Sonny leaving the house, Lip asked, "What, more piss food?"

"You know it." Fiona nodded.

"All right!"

"Piss food is the best." Hannah grinned, pinching Liam's cheeks.

"Cup-a-lasagna, anyone?" Lip asked, taking out mugs as all of the plates were stacked in the sink, dirty.

"Right here." Ian nodded.

Fiona sighed, hand on her hip, "Who was on dishes today?"

"Uh, I'll get them after lunch." Ian told her.

The front door opened and Veronica made her way through the house, "Hey, Debs, Han, you ready to go to Target?"

"Yeah, sure." Debbie nodded.

"Yep." Hannah said through a mouthful of lasagne, giving the woman a thumbs up.

"What's that smell?" Veronica asked, entering the kitchen, "It's either vomit or fancy cheese."

Carl shrugged, "It can be both if you want."

Fiona raised an eyebrow, "Target?"

"Debs and Hannah are gonna go help me register for wedding gifts."

"I thought the wedding was off?" Fiona said, confused.

Veronica shook her head, "Back on."

"Kev know?"

"Uh-huh." Veronica nodded, taking a bite of lasagne off of the spoon that was in Lip's hand, as Carl flicked a spoonful of his lasagne at Ian, warning a high five from Hannah.

"Nice shot."

"Mmm, damn," Veronica hummed, "You tell that girl Sonny I will crap on a paper plate for her if it'll get me some of this grub."

―

After deciding on a fake wedding to appease her mother, Veronica entered the Gallagher kitchen with a sigh, "Wedding's not gonna work."

"What happened?" Fiona asked.

"Mama wants a real priest." Veronica frowned.

"Sheila said she'd make your wedding dress, if you want." Debbie told her.

"Oh, that's nice, but what good is a dress if I don't have a priest?" Veronica asked.

"You could hire an actor," Debbie suggested, Remember the guy who played Elmo at my birthday party?"

Fiona looked at her, "You remember that?"

"He took his head off," Debbie stressed, "It was traumatizing."

"An who had to deal with all of the Elmo nightmares?" Hannah added from the table, "Me."

"You think an actor could work?" Fiona asked.

"You know what?" Lip spoke up, "I could probably get Father Pete to do it if Carl will help."

Veronica raised an eyebrow, "What's it gonna cost me?"

"Uh, Karen and I use your place Friday night?"

Veronica smiled, "Done."

"Father Pete?" Fiona asked, "The groper?"

"God willing." Lip smirked.

"Amen." Hannah cheered as Carl entered the kitchen.

"We got hot dogs?" Lip asked.

"Mmm, no hot dogs." Fiona shook her head, everyone's eyes moving over to Carl, who was putting a goldfish that was trapped in a water bottle into the microwave, turning it on.

The boy met their stares, "What?"

―

"You don't have to go too crazy here, Sheila, but as close to Vera Wang as you can get." Veronica said to the woman as she stood in Sheila's living room - the older woman making her wedding dress.

"You are going to make a beautiful bride." Shelia grinned up at her.

"Aw, Sheila," Veronica blushed, "You're making me feel like Cinderella."

"You could show up in a sack and Kev would still fuck you on the spot." Hannah chuckled, taking a chip from the bag in Fiona's hand.

"Screw Cinderella," Karen said from her spot at the dining table, making Hannah roll her eyes, "Little doe-eyed bitch. Probably one of the worst role models for little girls."

"I think Cinderella was a feminist." Sheila smiled.

"The whole idea of marriage is a useless vestige of an archaic civilization." Karen rolled her eyes.

"How would you know?" Debbie asked, eyes narrowed.

"I watched one unravel." Karen told her, making Shelia turn to her daughter with a look.

"Oh, so one example of a bad one makes them all bad, hmm?" Debbie raised an eyebrow, "Hmm?"

"In olden times, marriage was nothing more than a legal exchange of women for property." Karen shrugged.

"Maybe you're being a little pessimistic." Fiona commented.

"It's just a piece of paper!" Karen shrugged.

"A birth certificate is just a piece of paper," Debbie countered, "And money... money is just a piece of paper. But those are pretty valuable."

"True." Debbie nodded.

"Hey, Gloria Steinem, enough of the blah-blah," Veronica said, before turning to Fiona and Hannah, "Let's talk bachelorette party."

"We got that covered, don't worry." Fiona sad, sharing a smirk with the older redhead.

"Oh, you better." Veronica smirked.

"Mm-hmm." Fiona nodded.

"'Cause we gonna be doing it." Veronica sang.

"Uh-huh, mm-hmm!"

"Let's go baby!" Hannah grinned, the girls starting to dance in Sheila's living room.

―

Elodie and Hannah laughed, dancing around the brunette's room to Taylor Swift.

"She wears short skirts!" Elodie cried.

"I wear T-shirts!" Hannah followed.

"She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers!" Adam yelled, running into the room, holding a fake microphone, making the girls laugh and turn down the music, "Jeez, Han, you look awful."

Hannah rolled her eyes, "Thanks."

Adam's eyes widened, "N-No, I-I just meant-"

"That I look incredibly hungover?" Hannah tiredly asked.

"Yeah." The boy nodded.

"V's bachelorette party was last night," The redhead told him, "We know the bouncer so he let me in. Wild night."

"Is that a hickey on your neck?" Elodie gasped, reaching out to poke it.

"Oh, fuck off," Hannah laughed, covering it up, "There was a cute college guy." She shrugged.

"And he believed you were twenty-one?" Adam raised an eyebrow.

Hannah smirked with a shrug, "Don't think he cared."

Looking at her brother, Elodie said, "Veronica invited the two of us to her and Kevin's wedding. Do you wanna come?"

"Sure." Adam nodded.

"Does that mean that I can borrow a dress?" Hannah asked, making Elodie chuckle with a nod.

―

"I'm the maid of honor at your fake wedding and I didn't even know you had a brother." Fiona said to Veronica, who was pacing the living room in her leopard print underwear, a few minutes after Hannah had gotten back from the Cuthberts'.

"There's a reason for that." Kevin told her, as Hannah sat next to him on the couch, trying to wipe off the dicks that had been drawn on his face in permanent marker at his bachelor party.

"He busted out of prison?" Hannah asked.

"Last night." Kevin nodded.

"What was he in for?" Fiona wondered.

"Aggravated assault, larceny and arson." Veronica listed off, still pacing.

"Arson?" Lip asked, coming down the stairs, "Who we talkin' about?"

"V's brother." Fiona informed him.

Lip raised an eyebrow, "Oh, is that like a sibling-brother, or just a black guy brother?"

"You remember the fire at the Curves in the mini mall?" Veronica asked, pulling her clothes back on, "That was him. He loves setting fire to things and he hates women. It was the perfect storm."

"He's nuts," Kevin told the three Gallaghers, "No, I'm serious. He's nuts. He came at me. I had to fight my ass off. Then, one time, I'm having a brew, he came up to me, he's all, 'Ass cunt fuck!' on me."

"Is he retarded?" Fiona asked.

"I wish," Veronica rolled her eyes, now fully clothed, "Tourette's coupled with bipolar disorder and a drinking problem. He's a shrink's wet dream."

Fiona sighed, "What are we gonna do?"

"Kick his ass back to prison," Veronica said, "'Cause if there's one person you can always count on to really fuck things up, it's Marty."

Hannah sighed, looking between Kevin and the cloth in her hands, "Yeah, this sit's not coming off."

―

Fiona, Kevin, Hannah and Veronica stood at the bottom of the ladder that Debbie was on, peering into Kev and V's bathroom window, where Marty had locked himself in, threatening to set fire to V's wedding dress, as well as the whole house if they sent him back to prison.

"He's not doing anything," Debbie shrugged, "He's sitting in there lighting a lighter."

"Oh, my God, he's gonna burn the house down," Veronica said, "This is what he did at Granddaddy's funeral. Gutted out half the hospice."

"Maybe we should call the cops." Kevin suggested.

"Kev's right," Fiona agreed, "The house goes up we're not gonna be able to get him out of there."

"You want me to call cops on my own brother?" Veronica asked.

"Well, an hour ago you did say you were gonna 'kick his ass back to jail'." Hannah shrugged, as Lip and Carl entered the alleyway.

"It's always been like this. Nobody else could ever be the centre of attention. It's always got to be about him," Veronica rolled her eyes, before yelling up at her brother, "You should be in a nuthouse!"

"What's going on?" Lip wondered.

"Veronica's brother locked himself in the bathroom. He's threatening to burn the place down." Fiona said.

"Cool!" Carl grinned.

"He saying that he's gonna light both the dress and the shit-sack house on fire," Debbie narrated, before looking down at everyone, "What's a shit-sack?"

―

Hannah stood between Debbie and Fiona as one of Veronica's bridesmaids, her and Kevin's wedding taking place at the Alibi.

"May daily problems never cause you undue anxiety, nor the desire for earthly possessions dominate your lives, but may your hearts' first desire be always the good things waiting for you in the life of heaven," Father Pete recited, "Amen."

"Amen!" Everyone repeated.

"You may kiss the bride."

Kev didn't waste a moment, pulling his new bride into a passionate kiss, the party beginning to start.

―

Elodie laughed as Hannah walked over to her, a beer in hand, "You're brother keeps trying to take pictures of my boobs."

"He's a horny kid," Hannah nodded, "Speaking of horny, Father Pete just groped me." She chuckled.

―

"Adam!" A tipsy Hannah bounded up to they boy, after Frank's testicle speech.

"Hey, Han," Adam grinned, "You look really pretty, by they way."

The girl flushed red, "Thanks," Hannah smiled, before grabbing his arm and tugging him onto the dancefloor, "Come dance with me."

Adam stood in front of her, his hands awkwardly shoved into his pockets, "I, uh, I don't know how to dance to think kind of music."

Hannah smirked, pulling his body closer to hers, placing his hands on her hip and wrapping her arms around his neck, "You've just gotta let your body move to the beat." She shrugged, moving their bodies to the upbeat music.

"I-I can do that." Adam stuttered.

Hannah laughed, seeing he had taken a small step back, "Just because there's a priest here, that doesn't mean that we need to make room for Jesus," She smiled, pulling him so their bodies were back to being flushed together, "Is this okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Adam nodded, wide-eyed, "This is great."

Hannah bit her lip, "Great."