Brian POV

"I will never ever, ever do anything like this to hurt you, baby. You know you mean everything to me. It was a moment of weakness, that's all." He was begging with his life for his girl. He did not know what else to do. After a week of her not answering his calls and texts, he left school in the middle of the week to drive to St. Louis to see her.

He was happy she let him inside the house.

"I love you NaeNae. I want to marry you and have a family with you. Us together, forever."

He was at her house, and her parents were both at work. He drove down Wednesday night and spent the night at home. Now it was Thursday morning when he knew she did not have any classes at Maryville University. He knew her parents both worked, and her younger sister was a freshman away at college. They had the place to themselves.

"How can you love me Brian and then go do that with some girl?"

Didn't she tell him to "live it up" before he left for college? As long as she never found out about other girls, she was fine.

Well, she found out about another girl.

How could he explain it without hurting her? It was just sex, it meant nothing to him. He had urges and girls willing to satisfy his needs. He had been doing it since they were in high school, mostly the white girls that liked fucking with Black dick. They knew how to keep their mouth shut. If the girl didn't mind being used, he didn't mind using them.

But he loved J'Nae, despite the sleeping around. He knew he loved her, he knew what that meant. He should stay committed to her until she was ready. He didn't know if that was when they were married or sooner. He imagined having sex with J'Nae all the time and he knew it would be amazing. His feelings for her were deep and he was not going to let this be the end of them.

"Some girl giving me head means nothing!"

"You want me to do that Brian? I'm not doing it."

Like ever? Like once they were married and having sex she was saying no to oral sex? That may be because she didn't understand how critical that was to sex... at least for a guy. He never gave a woman oral sex and did not plan on it.

"Nae, I'm fine with us waiting. You told me to live it up, and that's what I'm doing. My bad you had to hear-"

"When I said to live it up Brian, I didn't say have sex with every girl you could. Do you think I meant it that way? Stupid!"

She stormed away from him, heading back to her bedroom.

Should he follow? He had never been in her bedroom. J'Nae's parents were super strict, super Christians, he only stayed in the living room, when he came to visit. They could only hold hands in their presence. The kissing was when they were alone. He'd never even felt her breast.

He thought on it a moment and took the chance to walk back there. She was sitting on her pale pink decorated bed, holding one of the many stuffed animals he bought for her. This was a four feet tall white bear with a pink bow they named Winkie. He knew it was her favorite. Her holding and cuddling it could be a good sign.

"NaeNae, I'll keep apologizing every day till you forgive me for this. Just tell me we're good." He walked over and sat in the bed with her. "I don't want us to be over."

"Me either."

He moved closer, picking up her hand. "Then we won't. We can make this work. If you need me to come home more, I will. And you still haven't visited, so come down and stay with me. Well, you can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the sofa."

She nodded. He had won her over. He pulled her in his arms, rubbing her arm.

"I'm going to be a better boyfriend, I promise."

Even though he was thinking all of the naughty thoughts, in her bed with her. What if they just went all the way? He was confident he could sweet-talk her, but he was not going to do it. He did love his girl and respected her wishes.

So after everything was okay, he had to leave because she had to get to class. He told her that he would still be in town after her classes and wanted to hang out with her. Take her to dinner, to the mall, and buy her something. Whatever he had to do to stay in her good graces.

In the meantime, he went home to his house. His father was at work, having appointments started as early as seven a.m. to seven p.m. at night. His father, a workaholic. He did not see how his father could do it, being a dentist. That was dealing with people too much for him, up close and personal.

He went to his bedroom, sat on his bed, and grabbed his laptop out of his bag. He might as well do some work while J'Nae was in class. He was far enough ahead of the class, and he liked to keep it that way.

Around noon, he heard his father come home by the chime of the security alarm. He was sure his father saw his car parked in the two-car garage. His father came home for lunch often, especially if he had extra time between his patients.

"Brian!" his father yelled out to him.

He left his work to run downstairs to see his father. Though they were close, and he was a good father, he was still strict and pushed him further than he pushed himself. Straight As was never enough. If he scored a ninety-nine on a test, he argued why the point was missed and he didn't get any bonus points and had a hundred and five percent.

It's why he pushed himself, to please his father.

He made it downstairs and his father was in the kitchen, grabbing containers from the fridge. His father cooked nearly every day and ate leftovers for lunch. In the years after his divorce from his mother, there were a few women, but nothing serious that lasted long. He said no one could measure up to his mother. His father was no player by any means, he preferred hanging out with friends or being by himself.

"Hey, what's up Dad?"

"You didn't tell me you were coming home today."

"Spur of the moment thing," he said, watching his father stick things in the microwave. "Me and J'Nae..."

"Don't tell me. She caught you with another girl."

He told his father everything, and he told his father he was seeing other girls in college. All he did was make sure he was stocked up with condoms and got tested on the regular.

"Something like that."

"You're going to lose a good thing, you keep up like me."

His father cheated on his mother, though he said he was seduced by one of his dental assistants at work. He was still in love with his mother, but his mother would not forgive him and left.

"This is different dad, we're not even married yet."

"And you won't even make it that far, keep going like you are. I know you care for J'Nae, is it worth it losing her because you can't say no to lil girls dropping their panties for you?"

He couldn't help it. He wanted to stop, but not really. He loved sex. Maybe he was a sex addict.

"Sit, have lunch with me." His father pulled out the containers of food after the microwave beeped. "I made chicken alfredo yesterday and since I have no one to eat with me, there is always plenty."

He grabbed some plates and utensils and made a plate of chicken alfredo and a side of steamed broccoli. He mixed his all up and added more sauce, salt, and parmesan cheese. His father liked to cook, he didn't say he was a great cook.

"So, you skipped a class to come down in the middle of the week?"

"I let my professors know. I already turned in assignments. I'm ahead in all my classes, including extra credit work."

"Good."

"All As again."

"How's that little fraternity you're in."

He balled up his paper towel and threw it at his father with a laugh. "Dad! My little fraternity? The disrespect!"

"Well, I ain't ever heard of them."

"And I explained to you what they stand for. A really good organization that will help me careerwise. You should look into them dad, they have Alumnae chapters, you could pledge."

"Your brother always says the same about his fraternity."

"Fraternities are good networks. We as Black men need all the networking possible. Guys like Timothy have it so easy. Just the color of their skin gets them in, we have to know someone that knows someone that knows someone."

"You're right about that. That's why straight As is not enough for us, we have to do more."

He nodded. After they finished lunch and chatted more, his father headed back to work. He went back to his work, waiting for J'Nae to be done with her last class. He showered, shaved, tidied his locs, changed into something fresh, and made sure he looked and smelled good for J'Nae.

He made it to her place just as she was pulling in.

"How was your day, sweetheart?"

"Good." She gave him a peck on his lips and smiled. "Let me go put my things away and then we can go."

How lucky was he that J'Nae not only forgave him but seemed to be over it? He told himself that he would never, never fall for another girl again. At least never make the same mistake again.

A/N: I have no words for Brian. Just really, how can you be so smart but so dumb at the same time?