jax — italics
evan — bold

evan? why the fuck
are you calling me
at eleven o'clock at night?
i was trying to sleep

*snort* yeah, sure you
were buddy. we both know
that you don't start heading
to bed until at least two in
the morning

okay first off all, rude. second,
how dare you be right and
know this about it. it totally
isn't fair

i'm your brother, of course i
know your sleep scedule

well that certainly isn't creepy

shut up

okay but seriously why are
you calling me? this better
be something important
like ellen wanting to run for
president or some shit or
else i'm ending the call

geez, way to show your
life, jax. and no, as far
as i know ellen's not
running for president
and neither is oprah.
kinda sad but whatever

this still doesn't tell me why
you're calling me and especially
at this hour, you heathen

sorry that it's apparently
so late for you but i just
got home from a date

oh, with sadie? that's her
name, right?

um, yeah. i was with, uh, sadie
and i just got back

and you didn't invite her in?
how scandelous

it's only our...third date

well that took you a second

shut up, jax

never

god, i hate you

oh my god twins! we must be
brothers or something

rot in hell

already gonna happen, don't
worry. but whatever, get on
with your story please

right. so i was talking to
my manager becuase
the premier for my movie
is coming up soon. you know,
just asking about dates and
where the events are being
held. which ones i have to
attend and shit

yawn. i'm bored

shut up, jax. but i was talking
to her and she said there's
a premier in new york and i
know how much you love
new york, so...

no

oh, come on! you love
new york - and you get to
miss work!

sounds wonderful except now
i have to like inform someone
that i'm taking vacation days
and shit where before i could
just not show up and still get
paid for the shifts because no
one noticed.

but please? i want you to come
with me

tough luck, bro, i got work and
shit like an adult. *gasp* i'm like
an actual adult now!

and we're all so proud. still,
come with meeeeee

you sound like a five-year-old
begging their mom for candy

oh, like you as a kid?

shut up

come with me

no

please

take sadie. i'm sure she'll
enjoy herself

but i don't want to take sadie,
i wanna take my wonderful
brother

and i don't give a shit. sadie's
your girlfriend or whatever,
just take her

but i don't wanna

why not?

ugh, because i want to go
on a vacation with my
brother who's too busy
working now that he got a
job at olive garden

hey! i am a professional now,
of course i care about work
now

of course

shut up

come to the premier with me
and i will

no. i'm hanging up now so
bye-bye!

wait, no, ja-