Remember that day in the park? The day that you were out of the house, sulking and cursing at the world because of everything that you lost. 

Now, remember that one kid you saw. The one with the red beanie. The one that gave you a smile and offered you a chocolate bar before walking away. The one that saw a lost small child, wandering around lost, before volunteering to help him find his parents. The same one who helped a sweet old granny find her back to her grandson's house. Helping anyone and everyone at any chance she gets. 

The time she saved a little kid from getting hit by a car when they were too busy chasing a butterfly. The same one who stood up for herself and took beatings from bullies to save others from it. The one who always faced life with a smile, never letting anyone see past it.

That kid that was bullied for being different, for being herself. She was bullied for being helpful and caring towards others. For being carefree and Bi. Others made her life hell, especially in school, just because she wasn't "Normal"; because she didn't only like guys like she was supposed to.

The one that was given up by her parents. The kid who went to all her other relatives just to find a place to stay but every time was refused. The same girl that lives in her friend's house. The kid who has a part-time job at the age of 15 to afford all of her needs for school and enough to get her through her day. She hated being a burden especially to people that had helped her a lot. 

She was trying so hard to seem happy not letting anyone see through her facade. She hated herself that's for sure, she just wanted to be accepted. It's not her choice. People don't choose to be Bi. Just like you don't choose to be straight, it's just who you're attracted to.

But what did you choose to do? You choose to be rude, a complete asshole to her. You choose to make her life worse just because she didn't like one gender. You choose to make her life hell when all she gave you was nothing but kindness, just because you didn't like her preference.

LEAVE HER ALONE!

Do you think your words don't affect her? You don't see it but she's falling apart bit by bit inside. Every word drains everything she has lived for down to the last small piece. The piece that you stepped on as if it were dirt before throwing it away. She cries herself to sleep every night because of those awful words you throw down at her. She thinks about cutting, thinking it'll help the pain, but she couldn't bring herself to let the blade touch her skin. She cries at your words knowing it was the truth.

You laughed at her mental breakdown in the restroom and would take video then share it all over social media, tell your friends that she was crying like the weak worthless dyke she is. You would laugh at her terrified face online and laugh at her for being different.

When will you stop laughing? 

When will you stop the badmouth? 

When she's dead.

When everything that you said finally catches up with her. Every word, every laugh, every share, and every look you give her. It filled up inside her, she let it build up like a balloon being filled up until it pops. When the breath she takes stops. When her skin goes pale and cold to touch. 

But she didn't kill herself. 

You look up and see her in front of you but before you could push her off and talk back at her she falls to the floor. Blood slowly pouring out from her chest. You finally look up and see a guy with a gun being held off by the cops. You're frozen in shock. The kid you have been abusing, the girl saved you but why? After everything you did to her she still saved you. Her friend, scratch that, her girlfriend was holding her close, screaming at her to wake up. The ambulance finally arrived but you knew it was too late. 

She was gone.

Are you finally satisfied with what you have done?

Can you live with the guilt? The guilt that you know drove the girl to cut, to depression. Can you live with yourself after this? The girl who you badmouthed for months was dead in front of you, saving you from a bullet. How can you live with that?

The girlfriend came up to you covered with her lover's blood. "Are you happy now? Are you happy now that my best friend, my girlfriend, my everything is dead? Even after everything that you did to her she still saved you. Do you know why? Because she's a good person; because even after the hate, the bullying, she knew you would change sooner or later and realize your mistake. I hope you're happy now." She left you and went back to her lover. 

You hurt her so much but she still saved you. 

Your own insecurities that you took out on her caused her into depression and now she's dead in front of you. That's your fault, not hers for being Bi, for being different. How do you feel now?

A week later a letter comes in your mail. It's a letter from the girl. You open it and you cry out. You sit in front of the letter regretting what you did to her. You wish you could take it all back but you know you can't. From the letter, a sentence stands out to you.

"Hi if you're reading this then something happened to me, something bad. I'm sorry if I ever did something that made you feel bad or so uncomfortable to make you bully me but I forgive you for bullying me. As much as it broke me I know why you did it and whatever you may be going through right now I hope you make through it and you will make the best of your situation. I'm sorry if I could not help you for the time being but don't worry about me I'm happy where I am and if I died doing something stupid in front of you. 

It's not your fault.  I'm happy I could save you. You deserve it.

Love from the girl with a beanie"

You go to her funeral and see that a navy general was there. The girl that saved you was awarded an honor of valor. Her girlfriend was crying in the front row. The General, her father was comforting her. The girl's parents, the ones who drove her away, were also there with a teen boy by their side. She had a brother and he was crying as well. 

He missed his sister dearly, he was mad at his parents for throwing her out, he was angry at himself for not finding her in time, but most of all he was sad and annoyed by his sister. The sister he knew would always do something either incredibly brave or understandably stupid sometimes both just to help someone.

 He loved his sister and he was not afraid to show it. He left his parents by the side and went over to his sister's girlfriend doing his best to stay strong for her. It was quiet for a while before her girlfriend saw you and her eyes flared with flames then went back to crying.

You were guilty and you know it. Even if the girl said it wasn't your fault you still drove her to her depression. You still ruined her life. No amount of good can clear you're conscious of the guilt that you carry. 

When the chapel was nearly empty you come out and kneel in front of her casket. You see her with her smile. You see her face finally at peace. You scream and cry. You were at fault and there was no changing it.

You swore to the girl that you would never let anything like that happen to another child. You swore to her that you will change. You swore to be better and change for the sake of others. But how long can you last? How long before you crack and see that it was never easy? 

You destroyed the girl's life so why not take your own? 

No, she wouldn't want that not yet. 

You live on but not for yourself. You live on for her. You live on to tell her story. The story of a young girl who was kind and caring even to the people that hurt and destroyed her. The story of the kind girl who died saving an unworthy person.

Her story or truthfully is my story.