'Pride is the thing that keeps us away from the ones we love. We are too proud to admit our mistakes, too proud to talk about what's wrong, too proud to show our emotions.

We isolate ourselves because of our pride, we think that admitting our failings will make us inferior. But it doesn't. It makes us human.

Human nature is made of weaknesses, and pride is just a way to hide them. But hiding them doesn't mean suppressing them. They are still there, being the perfect facade that is pride.

So we must put our pride aside before it's too late and show our true self. Because we are all human made of imperfections, fears and flaws.'

I walked as fast as I can the whole way, and I'm almost running as I reach my street. I know he is on his way here, it's just a matter of minutes until his car parks in the driveway. I just want to get inside my house and be able to forget all of this for the night.

I check my phone as I feel it vibrate against my thigh again.

8 missed calls
14 texts unread

Almost all of them are from Nathan, I just have one text from Nina. I don't bother reading them and put my phone back in my pocket.

I struggle to find my keys in my bag, but I manage to grab them just as Nathan's car pulls into the driveway.

Damn it!

The car has barely stopped, and I hear Nathan's door close as he calls my name. I don't turn around, I hastily insert the key in the lock and manage to open the door. I slide inside and try to close the door, but Nathan's foot in blocking it open and I can't do anything but look up at him.

"Jade we need to talk," he says, worry filling his voice.

"Yes we do, but not tonight," I say, trying to sound as emotionless as I can.

I can let my emotion take control of me right now. I need to think clearly, which is quite hard between him being that close and the events of tonight.

Nathan looks straight into my eyes and I notice his tight jaw and clenched fists. He is handsome, just as always. The dim light of the street lamp is lightening his beautiful face and I just want to forget everything and look at him forever.

"Please. Let me explain all of this," he says in a low voice and a shiver runs down my spine.

With him being this close, I can't tell if I want to push him away or kiss him. And I hate it.

"Fine! Let's talk," I harshly say, opening the door widely.

Nathan takes a step forward to enter the house but I don't move out of the way, my hand gripping the door. He sighs and stops a few inches away from me.

"Jade, look at me," Nathan says with a more gentle voice, his hand reaching to lift my chin.

"Don't," I whisper and take a step back. His hand falls back on his side and I see a flash of hurt in his eyes, quickly replaced by anger. I stare at the street lamp on the other side of the street, waiting for Nathan to speak.

"You can't just be so cold to me, you don't even know what happened!" He says in an angry tone and I try not to flinch as I stare at his eyes.

"Are you serious, Nathan? You don't think it's fair enough for me to act distant? I don't have time to spare with a guy who still has a relationship with his ex and hide things to me," I almost yell as my anger takes control of me.

"It isn't like that. I-" he starts and I throw my hand in the air.

"Then how is it? Don't you think I should be aware of the fact that you spent the whole afternoon with your ex-girlfriend? You lied to me, telling me she was no one! You had a relationship with her, how can I be sure you're not cheating on me? Explain to me Nathan because right now, I don't understand you," I say, pouring out my insecurities.

"Do you think I would be able to do something like that to you?" He scoffs.

"I don't know! I don't know who to trust!" I say and my voice breaks at the end.

"Trust me! Damn it, Jade! Why the hell do you always make assumptions? Why do you always reject the people who care about you when you have one slight doubt about them? You don't even try to understand, it feels like you're trying to find a good reason to push me away!" He shouts.

"I am not! Don't lie to me because you think I can't take it," I retort as I hold back the tears that begin to blur my sight.

"You acted the same way when you found out Aaron is my best friend! You just run away at the first doubt without an explanation! And now you ask me to tell you the truth? You won't even believe me!" he yells and I take another step back inside my house, my hand still resting on the doorknob.

"That the thing, Nathan, I can't trust anybody! I'm surrounded by liars who claim to lie for my own good. But I don't need to be protected, I'm not some fragile thing you can break with the truth, I-" I start, yelling as loud as Nathan.

"You're already broken, Jade, and I thought I could fix you but now I'm starting to think that I'll never be able to put all the pieces back together," he interrupts me in a softer tone, shaking his head.

His anger has been replaced with discourage and hurt, and I want to take his face between my hands to make the pain go away. But I'm so angry at him, I never asked for him to fix me, and I certainly don't need him in my life if the only reason why he's still with me is that he sees me as a fragile, broken girl who desperately needs a man to fix her.

Nathan turns away, heading for his car and I slam the door shut. The tears I have been holding back are now running down my cheeks as I run upstairs.

So this is it, it's the end. I never thought a heartbreak could hurt this much. I didn't even know there was anything left in my heart to break. I jerk my bedroom door open and throw myself on my bed, burying my head in my pillow as I cry all the tears I can.

I'm torn between the pain his absence left and the anger his words and actions have provoked in me. I don't know if I want to run up to his house to curse at him or to kiss him.

Instead, I rise from my bed, still sobbing, and wrap a blanket around me. I sit in the chair facing the window and stare outside. Nathan's car is still in the driveway, which only intensifies my sobs. He's sitting in the driver seat, hitting the steering wheel repeatedly. He buries his face in his hand and I stare at him, until my eyes close and I drift off to sleep from the exhaustion of all the tears I've cried for this boy.

* * *

I groan as the doorbell rings again. I don't bother moving and wait for my parents to go open the door. I jolt awake as I remember that I'm alone at home. I glance at my cell phone which indicates that it is way too soon in the morning for a visit.

I push the blanket away as the bell rings again. I'm pretty sure I know who's ringing and I don't know if I want to answer. I look outside from the window and notice that Nathan's car is still parked in the driveway, but he is not inside.

I contemplate whether I go back to sleep or go answer the door but the incessant ringing bell decides for me. I'm still mad, but I want to see him so much that it hurts.

My eyes are still wet from crying so I wipe the tears away and head downstairs. Once I reach the door, I take a deep breath and unlock the door. The doorbell is still ringing as I slowly open the door.

Nathan is standing there, looking so much exhausted than I wonder how he still manages to stand up. His eyes are red, but probably less than mine. I don't say anything as we both stare at each other in pain.

I open the door wider and step aside so he can enter but he catches me off guard by taking me in his arms. We both walk until he is inside the house and he kicks the door closed with his foot, never letting me go.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," he says in a muffled voice, his arms tightening around me.

One of his hand is on the back of my head and the other one is gripping my shoulder. My arms are still on my side though. I don't know what to do, I'm afraid that if I give in too easily, it will happen again and that's the last thing I want.

After a few minutes, he pulls away and lifts my chin. His thumb traces my cheekbone as he whispers something under his breath. I didn't understand what he says but I don't ask for him to repeat. His hand falls back to his side and he straightens himself.

"I will not leave until we have cleared things out," he affirms with more determination than I've ever seen in him. "So please listen to me, I want you to trust every word that comes out of my mouth."

I slowly nod, not wanting to interrupt him. He takes my hands in his, and I feel like he needs to touch me to be sure I'm still here, that I didn't leave him.

"I'm sorry for what happened with Amber, she just can't accept the fact that I'm yours," he says after a while and I can feel his eyes glued on me, studying my reaction.

How can I stay clear headed when he says things like this? I try as hard as I can to not let out a cheesy smile. He can't expect me to just take this little explication and jump in his arms.

"You can't blame me for my past. I lived before you came into my life, I had relationships with other girls. And you can't reproach me this, because I didn't know that one day you would come into my life. I didn't know I would fall in love with you so much that the thought of losing you hurts more than anything. You took everything in me, and still I will always look for something else to give you, because you deserve way more than anyone could get you," he carries on and the broken pieces shake.

I'm unable to move as my brain tries to process what he just said. I'm completely lost, I don't know how to react to his words. I don't even know if the tears that have gathered in my eyes are tears of happiness or anger.

He is right. I can't blame him for his past just like he can't blame me for mine. Our past is what defines us, and I know that I really like the person who is standing in front of me.

Nathan frowns at my lake of enthusiasm and lets go of my hands to take my face in his.

"Amber is my past. I had to meet her to tell her not to bother you because I didn't want you to doubt yourself or our relationship. I will never meet her again, I want you to be able to trust me the way I trust you. You are my present and my future, never forget that," Nathan says in a low voice, his face inches away from mine.

With those words, the melted pieces gather and form a heart that I'm willing to give him. I take a step closer and take his face in my hand.

"Promise me that you will never lie to me again. I don't want our relationship to be based on lies, honesty is the only thing I will ever ask from you, "I softly say as my breathing gets heavier with my desire to kiss him.

"I promise I won't lie to you ever again, I can't take the risk of losing you," he whispers and closes the gap between our mouth.

"Wait," I interrupt him as I pull away. "About earlier, you said something and I don't want you to think that ever again. I know I'm broken, and I don't expect you to fix me because you can't, nobody can. It can't be fixed, it has been completely destroyed. The only option we have left is to build something new, together."

Without hesitation, he plants his lips on mine as soon as the last word comes out of my mouth. Our lips move together as he kisses me passionately, slowly pushing me so my back is resting against the wall. One of his hand his on my hip and the other one is on my cheek. I kiss him fiercely, my hands lost in his hair as I try to pull him closer to me. His lips leave mine and before I can protest, they meet the spot just below my ear in a soft kiss. He leaves kisses down my neck and pushes the collar of my sweater to continue his assault on my shoulder. His mouth comes back to mine and he kisses softly before pulling away. 

We are both out of breath and I can see in his eyes that the sadness has been replaced with lust.

"I thought I had lost you," I say between two inspirations. "I'm sorry," I tell him before hugging him tightly.

We stay silent for a few minutes, lost in each other's arms. The comfort I can feel is amazing, it feels like the only thing I've been missing my whole life is Nathan. But I don't know which word could describe my feelings for him. I know that "like" isn't strong enough for what I feel, but I'm not sure if "love" is the right word, at least not yet.

"I should go. I don't want to have trouble with your parents," he says, a smile tugging at his lips.

"You are exhausted, it's not safe for you to take your car," I retort, pushing some strands of hair away from his forehead.

"I'll be fine," he reassures me and kisses me goodbye. "I text you once I get there ?" He asks and heads for the door.

I already miss his touch although he is just a few feet away.

"Stay," I tell him. "Tell your mother you're here and that we will sleep in two different beds. Please stay."

"My mother won't be a problem," Nathan chuckles. "But what about your parents ?"

"They won't be back until tomorrow night. They're somewhere in France or Egypt... I don't remember. Please say yes," I plead and take his hand, slowly dragging him to the staircase.

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't say no to you," he retorts and follows me to my bedroom.

I open the door and head for my closet as Nathan sits on my bed. I grab some pyjamas that are not too ridiculous and go to the bathroom.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back," I tell him before I close the bathroom door.

I quickly take off my jeans and sweater, and put on my burgundy long sleeve T-shirt and a black leggings.

I look at myself in the mirror in disgust. Black smudges of mascara stain my cheeks, my eyes are red and dark rings have appeared under my eyes. Not really attractive I must say.

I wipe the remainders of my make-up off my face and splash some cold water on it. It looks slightly better, but my eyes are still awful and only sleep will make them look better. I brush my teeth and head back to me bedroom.

Nathan hasn't moved from his spot on my bed. He looks up at me when he hears the bathroom's door open and a wide smile appears on his tired features. When I reach the bed, he pulls me by the waist and I fall on the bed next to him.

A giggle escapes my lips, soon covered by his. He kisses me softly and we both lie on our sides, facing each other. I study every single one of his features, and I notice he is doing the same. His thumb slide accross my lips, my chin, my neck, continuing its way until it reaches my waist. He pulls me closer until our chests touch and kisses my forehead.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers and I'm glad the light is too dim for him to see my bright red cheeks. "I just can't stop touching you."

"Well I won't complain. But we both need to sleep if we want to survive at school tomorrow," I say.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want you to fall asleep during your math test," he whispers, his hands putting a strand of hair behind my ear.

"No, I'm going to kill this test," I tell him and we both chuckle.

I turn so my back is resting against his chest. His arm is draped around me and I can already tell that I'm going to sleep very well.

"Goodnight baby," Nathan says in my ear.

I don't remember if I answered him, my mind is already drifting away as I fall asleep in the comfort of his arms.