'Isn't attraction something that misleads us?

This question is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about this word. We judge someone who might be our one true love based on how he looks, how he acts, all the external aspects that make him who he is.

We only care about the inside once we know we're attracted to him, and I think that's why a lot of people are disappointed in love. Attraction isn't reliable, sometimes it's just an ugly soul hidden behind a perfect faced.

This is the reason why I don't believe in attraction or love at first sight. We don't fall in love with a body, we find our one true love in a soul.'

I stare at the front door for several minutes, sitting on the first stair. I'm worried for Hannah, she has always been the best to control her emotions but I know that this time, she won't be able to have the upper hand. She tries though, she acted like if she could push the feeling of pain away in front of me, but I know it won't last long. Because that's what I do every day, and the feeling always comes back ten times stronger, crushing me. This is exactly what's happening to Hannah right now, she's drowned by her grief and I can't help her.

I insisted to come with her and cancel Nathan's plans. But Hannah is so stubborn, she wouldn't accept my help. She pushed me away and took my car, dealing with her memories and thoughts all alone.

I jump as Nathan knocks at the front door. This simple noise makes my apprehension and excitement rise. I hold myself back from rushing to the door and slowly stand up, trying to calm my heart before I finally see him.

I open the door and my breath gets caught in my throat. His white shirt fits him perfectly, bringing out the lean muscles of his arms. He wears black jeans that make him look like a model. I finally bring my eyes back to his handsome face, some light brown strands of hair falling on his forehead. His hair is still messy, like every time I see him, but he looks perfect.

"Wow... You're stunning," he says in a breath.

I know I shouldn't accord importance to how he reacted when I opened the door since we're just friends, but I can't help but feel satisfied. I like the way his eyes are little wider than usual and his mouth is slightly open. All of this seems to give me some confidence, enough to not look away.

"Thank you," I say, my confidence vanishing as I'm trapped by his deep brown eyes.

They hold so many emotions, I can't tell which one, but the intensity of his look just froze me in place. I don't have any more confidence to tell him that he's handsome, so I simply grab my black coat and lock the door behind me with the spare key.

"Where's Hannah ?" He asks, snapping out of it.

"She's sorry but she can't come. She isn't feeling well," I vaguely answer.

Nathan hesitantly places his hand on the small of my back and guides me to his car. I smile at him as he opens the passenger door for me, his hand leaving my back and brushing my hand. He closes the door and walks to the other side of the car. I take a deep breath and smooth my dress before Nathan slides on the driver seat.

"Where are we going ?" I ask as Nathan pulls of the driveway.

"You'll see," he replies, winking at me.

He must have seen the tension and apprehension filling my body. He takes my hand and squeezes it, my body immediately responding to his touch. I'm trying really hard to concentrate on something other than my hand in his but he lets it go, too quickly in my opinion.

My thoughts begin to wander on what Nathan has in mind for my birthday, and the panic slowly rises inside my body. It couldn't be a date since he had planned on picking up me and Hannah. I fiercely hope this isn't some kind of party with his friends, because I don't think I could bear that. Especially if Aaron is there.

"We're almost there," he says after a little while, as we drive into a quiet street.

I could feel his eyes on me the whole drive. I saw him glancing at me when he should have focused on the road. I try to suppress my smile as I catch him looking at me in the corner of my eyes.

He finally pulls into the driveway of a beautiful house, more little than mine. He steps out of the car and opens the passenger door. I follow him as he makes his way to the entrance, turning towards me once we're both under the porch.

"Happy birthday," he whispers and opens the door.

As soon as I enter the house, I'm welcomed by a warm atmosphere. The inside of the house is even more beautiful than the outside, the neutral tones and the old pieces of furniture being a perfect combination.

Nathan guides me in the living room, where he takes off my coat and puts it away, leaving me alone for a few minutes. I turn around as I hear footsteps behind me. A beautiful woman appears from what must be the kitchen, but I can't see any likeness with Nathan. Her blond hair is falling straight over her shoulders, reaching just below them. She puts the dish she's holding on the large table sets for four people and turns to me.

"Oh hello! Welcome in our house," she says, a bright smile enlightening her gorgeous face. "I'm so happy to finally meet you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Perkins, it's a pleasure to meet you, too," I answer as Nathan comes back and stands next to me.

Now that Nathan's mother is closer to me, I can see the only thing her son got from her, those light brown eyes. But hers seems less intense, less wild.

"Nathan told me so much about you, I'm really happy to have you for dinner tonight. It should be ready soon," she says. "Oh, and happy birthday," she adds before disappearing in the kitchen.

This dinner with his family is exactly what I need. Just a simple and calm night for my birthday. I think Nathan offered me what I desperately wanted, the image of a solid family. Even though it's only for a night, I can pretend to be someone else, someone who belongs to this family. And I can forget about everything else.

"Come with me," Nathan whispers and takes my hand, leading me to the hallway.

He stops in front of a door, letting go of my hand. He knocks twice before opening the bedroom door. We enter a large bedroom, with walls painted in different shades of blue. The curtains are closed, the only source of light coming from the nightstand next to a single bed.

A little boy lays in this bed, sleeping on his left side with a black teddy bear in his arms. He seems deeply asleep, his chest rising slowly as he breathes.

"This is my brother, Liam," Nathan says, his eyes focused on the little boy. "Today... today was one of his bad days. He was really tired and almost slept all day, never leaving his bed. And each time he would wake up, he complained about a terrible headache, the medicines were not strong enough to ease it," Nathan sighs taking a step towards his brother.

I can see the way Nathan cares about Liam, the way his eyes filled with concern when they lay on his brother. I stare at Nathan as he switches off the light and kisses his brother's forehead.

We're about to exit the bedroom when the light switches on. We turn around to see that Liam is now sat in his bed, staring at the both of us. He begins to make gestures with his hands, signing words that only Nathan can understand. When the little boy finally drops his hands and hugs tightly his teddy bear against his chest, Nathan sighs and sits on the edge of his bed.

"This is not because I switch off the light that there will be monsters in your bedroom," Nathan explains aloud as he signs his words. "We hunted the monsters out of the room yesterday, remember? And your teddy is here to protect you, so no need to worry," He adds, Liam's features relaxing as his big brother reassures him.

Liam's gaze lands on me and he signs something to his brother, still looking at me. Nathan turns towards me and smiles, asking me to come closer. I take a few steps and stand beside him, waving at Liam.

"This is Jade, Jade meet my brother Liam," Nathan signs, Liam smiles growing wide.

He waves at me and signs again. Nathan nods his head, but doesn't translate.

"It's time to sleep now," Nathan says, standing up. "Good night buddy."

Before Nathan can turn off the light again, Liam puts his little hand on his arm to catch his attention. He signs one more thing to him, and Nathan turns towards me before answering his brother.

I assume he doesn't want me to know what he said, since he doesn't voice his answer. And as much as I'd like to know, I don't ask anything and we both walk back to the living room, just in time to see Nathan's mother walking in with a girl by her side. I instantly recognize her even though I saw her only once at the coffee shop.

"Hey, Jade! Happy birthday!" Nina exclaims and hugs me. "How are you?"

"Thank you," I answer and hug her back before pulling away. "I'm good and you?"

"I'm great! I'm so excited, we can finally get to know each other better," she says and Mrs. Perkins tells us to get a sit.

I'm a little surprised to see her here, I assumed the fourth seat were for Nathan's father. But I guess he won't be attending the dinner tonight.

I sit next to Nathan, his mother and Nina sitting in front of us. This warm and friendly atmosphere could only lead to the best birthday I could have ever hoped for.

* * *

The dinner went really well, we talked and laughed so much that my stomach still hurts a little. Mrs. Perkins and Nina tried to learn more about me, asking me random questions during the dinner. Of course, sometimes they asked about a sensitive subject, but I tried my hardest to hide the effect their words had on me and answered them what they expected me to say.

Nina and I are now complaining about the difficulties to find a job while we wait for the dessert. Although I'm looking for one since I arrived in town, I haven't found a single job.

"Well, we need a new employee at the coffee shop! The director hasn't placed an ad yet, he just told us yesterday. Are you interested? Your shifts would begin just after school and you would be done by six in the evening," Nina says as if it was that easy to get a job.

"Yes, of course, I'm interested. I'll wait for your boss to post the ad and I'll apply for the job," I shrug, already knowing I won't get it because of my lack of experience.

"Oh no, you don't have to wait. I'm pretty sure I can convince my boss to hire you, even if you've never worked in a coffee shop before. I'll talk to him tomorrow and let you know," she replies.

"Thank you, that's really sweet of you," I smile as Mrs. Perkins comes back from the kitchen with a plate full of cupcakes with a candle sit on top of each of them.

"Okay, so I made eighteen cupcakes and I hope I didn't mess them up," Nathan's mom says as she sets the plate in front of me.

"I'm sure those cupcakes are going to be as delicious as the rest of the dinner," I tell her as she sits back in her chair and takes her camera.

"Make a wish," Nathan whispers beside me as I blow the eighteen candles.

I wish she could be right beside me.

The camera flashes, and my eighteen's birthday is immortalized. For the first time in my life, I haven't shared this moment with my family. And this statement darkens my thoughts, slowly erasing the smile on my face. But I fight back the urge to run away and find the force deep down inside of me to smile again.

"It's a pity your parents couldn't make it for tonight. Nathan told me they were really busy with their work, but I'm sure they would have rather be here with you than wherever they are right now," Mrs. Perkins says as she puts a hand on my shoulder, compassion clear on her face.

I know exactly why they are not sharing this moment with me, but I can't bring myself to admit it.

"I-I'm sorry, I just need some air," I stand up and almost run to the front door.

The snowflakes are falling heavily and the cold temperature surprises me. I stop as I reach the stairs, deciding to not go further in the dark and shivering night. Instead, I sit on the porch with my arms wrapped around me in a desperate attempt to warm up.

I hear somebody's footsteps behind me and I silently pray for this person to go away. I just need a few minutes, just enough time to put myself back together. This person sits beside me as I keep staring at the immaculate snow.

"Jade, talk to me," Nathan demands as something soft covers my shoulders.

"No," I whisper, tightening the fabric against me.

"Fine, I'll talk then," he begins. "I understand what you're feeling right now, I mean probably not completely but I can relate a little."

My eyes are now focused on Nathan. His hands are crossed, his elbows rest on his knees and his eyes stare straight ahead. After a few minutes of silence, he finally turns his head towards me.

"I know the feeling you get when your parents are not caring about you. The abandon, the anger and also the guilt, I felt all of this when my father left us. But I'm gonna tell you something I learned with time. Don't blame yourself for your parents' absence, this is their choice and it's not your fault," Nathan puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, you haven't been abandoned by everyone. I'm here, Hannah is here, a lot of people are here for you," Nathan says, his eyes searching my face.

The walls I built around me are shaking, threatening to fall apart. I can't let that happen, I can't let the only protection I have disappear.

"Thank you," I say, turning away before anything else could happen. "I-I think it's time for me to come home."

I stand up and look at him, disappointment filling his eyes for a moment before he manages to hide it. I know I hurt his feelings, but as much as I would like to say that I'm afraid he will break my heart, I know that there is nothing left to break. You can't break a shattered heart.

"I can't drive you back home, not with all that snow. I don't want to take the chance," he says and walks back towards the house, waiting by the door for me to follow him.

"I can't stay here Nathan, Hannah is going to worry and I have to check on her," I reply as we stand in the entrance hall.

Nathan takes his phone out of his jeans pocket and gives it to me.

"Send her a message. I'm sure my mother won't mind you staying for the night in the guest room," he says before heading back in the leaving room.

I send a quick text to inform Hannah and ask her if she was okay. She responded right after I hit the send button, telling me she was fine and that she will see me tomorrow. I lock the phone and walk to the living room, just in time to hear Nina.

"It's getting late, I should go back home. Thank you very much, Mrs. Perkins, for the dinner, it was delicious," she says, hugging Nathan's mother. "I hope I'll see you soon at the coffee shop," she carries on, this time talking to me. "Happy birthday again."

I thank her and despite Nathan's protests about her driving in the snow, she left, leaving me alone with the Perkins family.

"The guest room is upstairs, Nathan will show you while I clean everything up. Good night !" Mrs. Perkins says and begins to clear the table.

I follow Nathan upstairs, and stop behind him as he opens the first door and switches on the light.

"Here's your bedroom for the night. My room is just there," he points at the door across the bedroom's guest. "If you need anything, just knock on the door. Good night Jade," he adds before turning away to his bedroom.

He is about to disappear in his room when I call his name. He slowly turns so he is facing me, one of his eyebrow risen.

"Thank you, tonight was the best night I had in so long," I say and a smile makes his way on his beautiful face.

Nathan nods and turns again, placing his hand on the doorknob. He sighs heavily and shakes his head.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispers to himself and takes two big step towards me.

He puts one of his hands on my cheek, the other one resting on my hip. My body is pressed against the wall and all I can think about is the gap between us, the few inches between our mouths are driving me crazy.

"I've wanted to do this since the first day I saw you," he whispers, his shaky breath teasing my lips.

As soon as the last word leaves his mouth, his soft lips crash against mine, moving slowly and intensely in a deep kiss. My mouth begins to move along with his, our breaths becoming loud and irregular as the kiss deepens. Nathan's right hand is now on my back as he tries to pull me closer to him, his other hand still soft against my cheek.

He is kissing me with so much passion, his feelings pouring out from his mouth into my whole body. His tongue dances with mine and my heart pounds louder than ever.

Nathan pulls away and our eyes lock, our chests almost touching as we both try to catch our breath.

"Happy birthday," he says out of breath.

"Now I can say that this is the best birthday I ever had," I grin and put my arms around his neck.

This time, I'm the one who closes the gap between our lips, and I can feel his smile as he kisses me back.

At this moment, the only thing I can feel is happiness. I know I'll never regret kissing Nathan, because no matter what will happen next, I'll know deep down inside my heart that this kiss was worth breaking my defense.

My walls are slowly being destroyed, cracks appearing on them to let the light infiltrates. And for once, I don't want to hold them up.