Julian was numb. No feeling. Not in his arms, legs, head, chest, or even lungs.

Hmm, maybe that was a problem.

He forced air into his lungs. It was then that he realized that he had not, in fact, been breathing, at least for the last two minutes. He had a head rush, and was momentarily stunned.

But, sadly, not for long. Along with his feeling, the events of that day rushed back. He looked down. There was Livvy, looking pale and peaceful- except.

Except.

Except who could forget the gaping hole in her side?

Julian felt sick. He knew he should look away, but he couldn't. Livvy. His Livvy. He broke down all over again as he stared at her dead body. Breathe, he reminded himself. You can't faint. Not now. Your family needs you. He was Julian, the big brother, always ready for anything. Always ready for anything, that is, until now.

His family. He slowly looked around, dreading that his family would have to see him like this. He had to stay strong, for them. They needed reassurance. They needed help dealing with... with Livvy. His family, the one he had raised for five years, since he was twelve, Tavvy was a baby, Dru was eight, Ty was ten, and Livvy, Livvy was ten too...

Livvy. His thoughts kept coming back to her.

He pushed it away. "Livvy," he whispered, his voice broken with despair. "Livvy, please, come back. We need you. I need you. And Ty- Ty needs you."

She didn't move. Or talk. Or do anything. But then, had he really expected her to?

What had happened to the rest of his family? That was a good question. He looked up again from Livvy. Ty was gone. Hopefully somewhere safe, away from other people. The rest of his brothers and sisters were gone, too, most likely herded away from the scene by Mark and Helen.

"Livvy. Livvy Livvy Livvy." He figured he had been whispering like this nonsensically to the corpse of his little sister for awhile, probably right from when he had ran over and fell by her stomach.

Julian took one last look around the Hall before making up his mind to pick up Livvy and move her away. Emma, to his surprise, had Annabel stuck up against a wall, the Mortal Sword trained upon her chest. Her gaze was stony and didn't give anything away. To most people, anyways. Julian could still tell the millions of thoughts racing through her head.

She looked over at him then, just a fleeting glance. But that was all it took to give him strength. Emma had always been able to do that, and it had empowered him to do some of the greatest thing in his life. Because that was him and Emma: always stronger together, because they were parabatai.

It haunted him, sometimes. Like a cruel joke, considering his feelings for her. And then, not six months later, he had found out that she loved him back.

But, of course, he was Julian Blackthorn, and he couldn't be allowed to be happy. Of course not, he thought bitterly. His whole life was a mess. When he was ten his mother had died, at twelve his father had been Turned, and Julian had been forced to kill him so that his father wouldn't hurt any of his siblings, or Emma. He had raised his family alone from then. Well, not completely alone. There was always Emma.

Emma. Possibly the worst decision of his life had been made when he was thirteen, becoming Emma's parabatai. He still remembered that day. Now, four years later, they were madly in love and looking for a way out that wouldn't involve them both turning into monsters, demons, and endangering everyone they loved.

Julian gave a small sigh.

It was like this last, horrible event on his life's timeline of terrible things- yes, he had a name for it now- had brought back all the horrible events before it. But this wasn't the point. He had other things to think about.

So, excruciatingly slowly, he slid his hands under his sister's limp body.

She was cold. So cold. He rose, stepping off the raised stage. He made his way across the Council Hall to the hallways beyond. Before he left he turned around for a last sweeping glance at the room. There were only four people left there now. Emma, Annabel, Jia Penhallow, and Robert Lightwood.

He took a deep breath then, steeling his shoulders and turning away from the room where tragedy had once again struck his family.

***

Julian made his way through the halls warily. He didn't know his way around here well, and he didn't want to make it impossible for his family to find him.

He peeked his head into a room. Empty. Perfect. There was some sparse furnishing, including a worn-looking armchair. He set Livvy in it and collapsed by the wall in exhaustion.

He put his palms over his eyes. What would happen now? Annabel was going to be captured, the Black Volume retrieved, and that was good.

But, on the other hand... the people of Faerie were planning attack on Idris. The Lord of Shadows had said it himself; he had a spell that would make seraph blades, steles, runes, and witchlight useless. They had to find a way around that, or everyone would be in danger. Not only the locals from Idris, but all Shadowhunters.

He sighed. And he waited. He knew Emma would find him eventually.

***

"Jules?"

Julian pried his eyes open. He knew that voice. Knew it in his sleep. "Emma," he said, tiredly.

"Julian, are you all right? The Clave has Annabel- and I saw you leave the Hall with Livvy-"

"I'm fine," he looked at her. She was standing cautiously in the doorway, silhouetted by the light from outside. She was beautiful, he thought. So beautiful.

"Do you want to come out? Your family is waiting for you with Magnus in the Consul's spare quarters."

Julian sat up straighter. He had forgotten about them, and mentally scolded himself for it. His family must be devastated.

Ty.

Dru.

Tavvy.

Oh, what was he going to tell Tavvy? He had been in the Lightwood manor house with Max and Rafael the entire time.

But he would figure that out later. He took one last look at Livvy. Then he got up to his feet and followed Emma out the door.

A/N: Woo-hoo! That's three chapters, all of which I must say I'm pretty proud of. I don't know, what do you think? Not bad.
All I'd ask of you guys is to spread the word about my my TDA fanfic, because I feel like there's not a lot out there, and I always get frustrated when I can't find a book about a specific fanbase that I'd LOVE to see written...
so yeah. Help out all those poor people who are lacking their proper doses of Emma Carstairs and Julian Blackthorn wit and humour and, um, presence.