"She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars."

- N.G.

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Andrew froze in spot. His eyes kept darting from the IV bag to the blankets wrapped around her, the white bandage taped against her arm and the oxygen mask.

Anisha looked frail. Weak and broken. Her face was colored sickly yellow. And it hurt to see her like that. More than anything, he couldn't help the sob that was stuck in his throat.

His breathing was heavy and his footsteps light as he slowly made his way to her bedside.

Her tired eyes followed every step but she still didn't say a single word.

She looked so close to death, as though she was barely holding on.

Andrew sat down on the chair, scooting it a little closer to her. He didn't say anything as he reached for her hand.

He let out a shaky breath as he held onto her bony hand, careful not to touch the IV.

His eyes followed from her hand to the rest of her body. The faint purple bruise near her elbow. The tired look in her eyes. The fatigue, pain was evident.

His heart felt heavy, with sorrow and regret.

And right there and then as he stared at her frail state, it all settled in.

He was going to lose her. He was going to lose Anisha.

Forever.

There would be no third, fourth or any other fucking chance. There would be no more them. There would be no more of anything.

And as he held her hand, a faraway look in his eyes, he could feel it. He could understand it – it was all going to be over.

Soon, Anisha wouldn't be there. She wouldn't be in the living room, watching a movie with Mira when he came home from work. Or the dark roses she kept in the kitchen, they'd never get replaced. Or the way she'd roll her eyes, lips pressed tight as Ryan tried to explain his latest excuse as to why he'd failed his math test. And the hope, every bit of sparkle she'd ever offered him, that he, that they'd be okay. It would be gone.

He was going to lose her. In a way he'd never expected to. 

Andrew gently ran his thumb over her fingers, looking back down at her hands.

Avoiding her gaze. Because he knew this was all his fault. He didn't want to see the hurt he'd caused her.

She seemed lifeless. Drained of life.

And the way she looked at him, dull and empty, it was almost as if she was blaming him for everything.

"Anisha." He barely whispered. His voice somewhere between cracking with sorrow and filled with softness.

He kept his head down, refusing to look at her. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

"Anisha. I...I." He couldn't even think of what to say.

"Anisha. I...I'm...." He sucked on his lower lip as a gentle sob left his lip.

Anisha didn't say anything. She simply lay there, the wires around her and the clock ticking.

She squirmed around a little, pulling the blanket closer. She tried to speak, her voice coarse.

Andrew knew the truth. And it was all slowly becoming her reality.

She couldn't run away from it any longer. Especially not, especially since the end was so close. 

"I..I'm sorry." She coughed, mumbling as her throat felt heavy, the words strained.

She gripped onto Andrew's hand, holding on tightly. It was almost as though she was begging him to not let go of her. To hold her, just a little bit longer.

"Anisha. I...I." Andrew shook his head. Still unaware of what to say next. Everything, the words and his emotions, jumbled together as he stared at her frail body. He just couldn't stop looking at her.

In a way, he wished it was a dream. Begging, he was praying it was all a nightmare he could just wake up from. That the last fourteen years were nothing but a nightmare.

He cleared his throat, rubbing his heavy eyes. His voice, too, was barely above a whisper.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Andrew loosened his grip, yet still refusing to let go. 

Months. She had known for months and hadn't told him. 

"Would you have cared?"

The way Anisha barely said the question, softly as she looked at him, pierced his heart.

Truthfully, he didn't even know the answer.

"I'm your husband, Anisha. I had every right to now."

He didn't say anything as Anisha pulled her hand out of his grasp, letting out a dry laugh instead. A faint, dry laugh filled the pathetic sorrow she'd carried around for years.

"Don't act like you care. We both know you don't." Anisha looked up at the hospital ceiling, staring, wondering just how much she even had left. "Trust me, Andrew. You stopped being my husband years ago. There's absolutely no reason for you to pretend like you care."

Anisha turned her head to face Andrew, a faint smile gracing her lips.

And just for a second, as she stared at him, he looked just like the nervous nineteen-year-old boy who had stood outside her door, stuttering about wanting to ask her on a date.

But she was being foolish again. They were far past that. 

"Do you want to hear a story?" She bit her lip, shyly and continued before he could say anything.

He didn't care, that she knew. And he probably couldn't be bothered with her stupid story.

Yet she told it anyway.

"Once upon a time." She let out a small laugh before continuing. She was laughing at her naivety, her fucking foolishness. It was how all fairytales were supposed to start off. But not all ended that way.

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl."

Anisha turned a little, moving around so she was comfortable.

"The little girl was obsessed with princesses. With princess gowns and tiaras, fairy wands and sparkly castles. Every night, she'd ask her mother to read her a story about a princess and her prince charming. And before she'd go to sleep, her mother would tell the little girl that her prince charming would be way better than the one in that book."

Anisha smiled softly, staring off into space. Her eyes welled with tears but she wasn't crying. She was just staring off into space, staring as every little memory of when she'd been young flashed before her.

Like the pink floral dress she'd always wear, the one that made her feel like a princess. Or when her mother would put her hair in two pigtails and she'd run around the house, pretending to be on a secret spy mission as her mother cooked. And the purple tea set that she would always play with, her father promising to attend her 3 pm tea parties.

"The little girl was a princess." Anisha paused, her voice slowly trailing off as she continued, distant. "Her father would always tell her that she would always be his little princess. But he too, when the little girl would need him, turned the other way."

"The little girl was a little shy, always a little too quiet and just a hint of naïve, too naïve. But her mother told her to be kind. And that was what the little girl was. She looked for the good in people, the kindness and care in people. And the little girl believed that love would be the answer to everything. Love and kindness would be the answer to everything." Anisha let out a deep breath, a soft cry filling her words. "But then, she had to grow up. And she learned the hard way that life is nothing like that. That everything she'd ever believed in, was far from the truth."

"And maybe, she still looked for that princess kind of love. The fairy god-mother and glass slipper kind of love. The red-carpet kind of love seen in Hollywood movies."

A small smile played on her lips as she continued. "But she didn't really want that. She wanted something real, something real that would last. Because those things, the overly-dramatic kind of things, they don't always happen in real life. But love, it still exists. And maybe all she wanted was a real love story, the real kind of story that everyday people have. "

Anisha's voice faded as she struggled to finish her story. She was distant, far away from him. She was trying to tell him her final goodbye. One goodbye that she had no idea how to say.

"And then she met a boy." For a second, her voice was gentle. "He promised her he'd buy her chocolate muffins if she went on a coffee date with him. And so, with a cup of coffee and a plate of muffins, the girl found her prince charming."

"The little girl grew up and found her happily-ever-after, the one she'd always dreamed about."

Her voice was now heavy with regret.

She felt so much resentment. For everything and everyone. But especially towards herself.

"Her wedding felt like a princess ball. He always treated her like a princess, too. And for a few years, even after some problems, things were alright." Anisha's smile faded as she continued, realizing just when and where things fell apart for her. "And then, the evil queen showed up."

"The girl waited, waited and waited for things to change. For things to go back to how they used to be." Anisha let out a heavy breath as a sharp pinch hit her stomach. She was almost done, almost. Done with her story and with life. "But they didn't. Things didn't change."

"Instead, her prince charming broke her heart. He took her heart and tore it apart, he stomped on it and broke it into tiny pieces." She sniffled, harshly as she started to cry again. Sobs colored her words as she acknowledged where and how things had gone wrong for her. She shouldn't have held on. That's all it was. And she hated it. She hated herself for being as foolish and naïveas she had been. 

"But still, the girl hoped that love would fix everything. Every night she'd wait for her prince charming to come home. She'd wait and she's still waiting for her happily-ever-after." Anisha focused her eyes on Andrew as he sat there, quietly listening to her. She shook her head, sucking on her lower lip as her voice quavered. "But do you, do you know what the sad thing is?"

"She didn't get a happily-ever-after." Anisha shook her head, again, regretfully, painfully. She clenched her hands, holding onto the white-colored hospital blankets. "She just didn't. Even though she really deserved one."

"Andrew, that girl is me." Anisha could barely look at him, her eyes were glossed with tears and they poured down like a heavy rain.

"I'm the one who didn't get a happily-ever-after. Even though I deserved it. Even though I wanted it. I'm the girl whose prince charming broke her heart instead of fixing it. I'm the girl who didn't get the happy ending."

"I'm the girl whose heart you broke, over and over."

Anisha closed her eyes, clearing the tears. The only sounds she could hear were his heavy breathing and the faint beeping of the monitor. And the only thing she could feel was her heart breaking, all over again.

"My entire life, I was that girl. I grew up playing with dolls, obsessed with princesses and I...I didn't have too many friends. I had only a few friends. I was too shy but I was good in school, I got good grades. My parents..." She trailed off again.

She rubbed her nose, harsh whimpers escaping her lips.

"My parents used to be proud of me."

She was thinking about her parents. She seldom called and they never answered. But still, she thought of them now. Of the way they'd loved their only daughter.

And disappointments. She could remember the way her mother had tried to convince her that she was acting too rashly by marrying Andrew. And the small smile her father had given her when he had handed her to Andrew.

It had been nothing but a smile of disappointment, of failure.

"I think." Anisha chuckled, short and regretful. She could still remember how adamant she had been about marrying him, even after her parents blatantly refused to accept him. "I think the first I really disobeyed them was when I married you. Other than that, it was just small fights. I'd wear a dress my mother didn't want me to or something like that. But you, you were the first time I really did the opposite of what they wanted me to. I picked you over my parents."

She could feel his gaze on her and she just looked up at the ceiling. Her parents didn't even know that was sick. Anisha wasn't even sure if her parents would pick up if she called this time around. She just didn't want another rejection.

"My dad warmed up to you but my mother, she's always hated you. For some reason, she just has. At first, I thought it was because you were white. But now, I think its maybe because she saw the real you, the side of you that no one else saw. She knew people like you. And she saw right through your promises and lies. Maybe she was just trying to protect me from getting my heart broken."

Anisha hadn't listened. She had refused to believe her mother when her mother had told her that she was acting foolish, she was being naïve by believing him.

"I was blinded by what I thought was love. Everything felt so right with you. It was as if I was supposed to be with you. The way you made me feel, the way my heart would skip a beat, I'd never felt like before."

"I...Anisha. I just..."

Anisha sighed in irritation as he cut her off. She pulled the blankets closer, wrapping them around her.

She had a faraway look on her face, a little distant. Her thoughts were pushed far back into the past, a place where she had been stuck for a long time.

"Ever since I was little, I guess I was just like Mira. I think every little girl grows up like that, a hint of innocence and happiness around her. Until it eventually fades away." 

Her own mother had been a little too kind, a little too easy to give in. That was what Anisha was raised to be. That's what Anisha was. But her own daughter, Anisha had tried to raise Mira to be different. Then again, she didn't know how to teach her daughter what she herself didn't even know.

"But God, I tried my best to raise Mira so she turns out nothing like me. And I still hope, until my last breath I will, that my daughter grows up to be nothing like me." 

And for a second, she was silent, letting all her regrets, sorrows and heartbreaks wash over her. 

"College was like a fresh start, a brand new start. I was so scared when I first left for college. I was so scared to leave home. But then at the same time, I was excited. I wanted to be on my own, without my mother nagging at me constantly. I wanted to be my own person, make my own mistakes, my own choices. I just wanted to be on my own." Her voice was starting to dull out, the ragged edges fading away. "And maybe, that's where all this starts. It was the place where I first got my heart broken but then I found love all over again."

"I wanted to be a doctor. And I knew it was hard but my parents told me that all I had to do was work hard. So I did. I knew what I wanted to be and what I had to do to get there. Maybe that's why things were so much easier with Sebastian. He understood me and what I wanted. We both wanted the same thing."

"But then you showed up. And we were complete opposites. You were always so easy-going and I was always uptight about everything. Everyone liked you even though they didn't know you. And me? People couldn't even remember my name." She smiled, shyly, a soft rosy blush colored her cheeks. But it could've easily been from the fever she still had. "But you made me feel special, you made me feel like a princess."

"Before you, people didn't notice me. No one notices the good girl, which I was. I faded right to the background, but it was nice like that, I liked it like that." Her voice, scratchy and dull as her eyes filled with tears. "And then, you changed everything. I don't know if you realize it but you're the kind of guy everyone wants to be around. You're the kind of person whose people remember. And me? I'm the girl that fades to the side."

"But you noticed, you noticed me. At first, it was just as friends. I just wanted to get the highest grade in the class but of course, you practically got a hundred percent every time. And then we started dating. Being around you, I don't know. Everything was just right with you."

Anisha sucked in the sides of her cheeks, making a harsh puckering noise with her mouth. She wasn't sure why it felt like her heart was breaking, all over again. She'd thought it would be impossible now, to break an already broken heart.

"Everything with you was different. It was the good kind of different. And I liked it. I really liked you. You made me happy, wanted even. And, I guess, you loved me."

She lifted her fingers, brushing them against his wedding ring, her hand still placed on top of him. The ring was the only proof that he was married to her.

"I don't know what love is. But the way you made me feel, the way you made me feel like I was something special, something worthwhile. I don't even know but that had to be special. It was what I wanted."

"Sometimes, I can still remember everything. I can still remember how easy, how perfect everything was between us. The way you spilled coffee everywhere and dropped your plate on the floor on our first date because you were nervous. And the way you'd laugh, and smile, because you liked being around me. The first time you kissed me under the pier lights, right by the ice cream shop. And then you promised, every day you'd tell me that you would love me forever, forever and ever after."

Anisha faced him, puffy eyes and heartbroken, staring back at him, a small smile on her lips. "You said you would love me, that you did love me." She nodded, trying to convince herself that he had loved her. "But was it really that hard?"

"Loving me, like you said you would. Was it hard? Was it really that hard to love me?"

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goal - 900 votes and I'll update unless my professors decide to make me even more miserable by assigning more work. 

I'll give Ryan closure lol. I wanted to do the first option from the last page and kill off Anisha just so I could finish the book already but not many of you wanted that option. Just because Ryan gets closure doesn't mean everything's going to turn out fine. :) 

I get a lot of questions/requests asking for an alternative ending and I thought about it for a while and I've decided not to. This book will end the way I always wanted it to end. The happy ending thing is not my kinda stuff. I like sad endings and sad stories idk why but it is what it is.