"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?"

- Lana Del Rey

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Anisha closed her eyes, letting the silence surround her.

It was as though she really couldn't be bothered no more. She had finally dulled. As though she had finally given up and accepted her fate.

The slight pain in her stomach was sharp. Her throat was still a little scratchy, too dry.

"I don't even know what to say." She blinked a few times, clearing the tears and allowing her eyes to focus. "My parents were happy together. Not the perfect kind of happy but like just enough. The kind of happy that's just enough. That's what they were, together."

Every single insecurity she had, it stemmed from her mother. Yet, her parents' marriage, it had been perfectly fine.

"It was the kind of happy that I always wanted. It was the kind of happy I wanted with you." Anisha glanced at him, quickly looking away. His brows were drawn together, almost as if he was listening attentively. Almost as though he cared. "But never got. And that I guess is where our story fell apart."

Anisha turned a little, glancing at her cold hand placed on top of his. She bit down on her lips, furrowing her eyebrows together, wondering if she should pull her hand away or leave it on top of his.

She was delusional. She quickly pulled her hand away just as he reached out for her. She was delusional.

Because right now, right now he most certainly did not love her.

"Maybe it was easy because we were young, you know. Everything was carefree and just easy. Maybe love is just easier when you're young."

"And it was, wasn't it? It was so easy, so perfect."

She stared at him, empty brown eyes staring at him. "Once we got married, everything fell apart. Everything fell apart, far too easily."

Anisha tried to hold the heartbreak in. It was no longer possible. She simply lay there, shaking, trembling with heartbreak. Her eyes filled with heavy tears, falling onto the pillow.

In a sense, her tears were the rain, raindrops cleansing her of the pain. Telling her that she had been enough and now, it was okay for her to let go.

"When we got engaged, you...you said wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with me. Y...you said you loved me. And that you always would."

"You'd get so excited when you'd talk about getting married. It was, I don't know." Anisha shook her head, her eyes filled with torrent tears, again. "It was as though you couldn't wait for us to start a life together. It was as if you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with me. That...that you wanted nothing more than to be with me."

"We had all these dreams and hopes. Of a life together."

She shook her head, looking around the room with glossy eyes. She squirmed in place a little more, moving around before wanting to sit up.

"I want to sit up."

She didn't say anything as Andrew reached for her, gently, helping her sit up. Placing the pillow behind her for support, he sat back down on his chair. Parted lips, as if he wanted to say something more.

But she longer cared.

There was nothing he needed to say or do. Nothing left. He'd done absolutely nothing. Nothing but continue to let her suffer.

All on her own, all alone.

Anisha felt a little uneasy, like she always did after every blood transfusion. She drew small shapes on the bed sheet, making circles and spirals.

"I really didn't want much, Andrew. The only thing I wanted was to be with you."

"But nothing stays the same, does it?" She didn't wait for him to reply. She wasn't even sure how he had gone so long without making a single sound. But she was glad.

She didn't have the will to do this. She was forcing herself to talk, opening up the cracks that filled her broken heart.

"Our marriage didn't stay the same. It fell apart, it fell apart easily. Because of our mistakes."

"Because of me. It was, it is all my fault, Anisha." Andrew stared back her, dull blue eyes. His voice was a little gentle and careful. Truthfully he didn't know what to stay. And the only thing he could feel was the sharp ache, heartbreak.

"They were all my mistakes, Anisha. It's all my fault."

Anisha refused to look at him. The last thing she wanted was to look into his empty, broken eyes. His eyes that held the same helplessness and distress as her own.

Yet still, she found herself staring at him. Whispering softly.

"There are so many things that I wanted to tell you. I had so many things to say, things that I'd tell you if I ever got a chance like this. But now? I don't even know what to say."

There were so many things she wanted, she could say. But she just didn't want to. Because life was too hard. And she was just tired of it.

"I hate you for so many things. I hate you for making me fall in love. I hate you for breaking my heart. I..I just hate you. Though more than anything, I hate you for stringing me along. For giving me hope and then just as easily shattering it."

"I spent nights staying up, waiting for you to come home. I spent hours every day, begging for you to love me. I spent years, hoping that you'd change. And every time, the only thing I got was heartbreak."

She ignored the pang of guilt that struck her heart as she stared at him and she didn't bother wiping away the tears that streamed down her face. He had ruined her. All he had left behind was a bitter, frail woman.

"You've only cared about yourself. It's always been about you. About you and how you feel. It's always about what you want. You've never cared about me, about how I've felt, about how I've always been alone. How I've suffered over and over."

"And loving you? It might as well have been the biggest mistake of my life."

"No." Andrew's voice was firm.

Anisha jerked up, meeting his eyes.

"It wasn't mistake, Anisha. We...I" And besides that, he didn't know what else to say. He lifted his hand, reach for her before drawing it back as she scooted a little further from him. "I...I love you...I love." He slowly trailed off as she shook her head, smiling.

"Liar." She didn't believe him.

She'd made that mistake more than enough times.

She looked around the hospital room. The end was so close her. And she couldn't help but feel a tinge of acceptance.

"I should've just left. Life would've been easier for the both of us. I should've let you suffer on your own instead of suffering with you." She murmured as an inconsolable cry left her lips.

"You said you were hurting. You said you needed space. And God, Andrew I gave you that. I turned a blind eye to everything you did. That's what you liked about me, isn't it?" Her voice shaky. "That's all I've ever been my entire life. A foolish and naive fool."

"I believed every lie you ever told me. I believed you every time you told me you'd change. I believed you when you said that this time things would be different. I believed you when you told me you loved me."

Anisha let her eyes flutter shut, once again, letting the silence surround them. She let the silence quiet down her shattering heart.

Despite everything that had happened, he had loved her indeed. He had fallen out of love but he really had loved her.

The way he'd acted around her, bright eyes and a boyish grin, he made her feel giddy, giddy with hope and love, when they'd been a lot younger.

It had to have been love.

But that, all that was years ago.

"But you don't love me. Not anymore, at least. You don't love me. When you love someone, you don't try and hurt them."

"But that is what you did. You did everything you could to try and hurt me."

"I was there. Every time you were hurting, crying, suffering. After your sister died, I was there Andrew. Whenever you needed me, I was there. But you've never been there for me. Never. I've always been alone. I've always suffered on my own. You've never been there for me."

Anisha shook her head. "You don't love me."

"Maybe I've been stuck on what we had in the past. You know, the days where we really did love each other. And I thought that maybe I could convince you that you still did."

"Your actions have always proved otherwise. I was just being foolish by trying to convince myself otherwise. I know you don't care. I just know you don't. You never have. And after a while, I was just pretending to be happy, for my kids."

"And that too, it was a mistake."

"You never forgave me for what happened to your sister, did you?"

Anisha ran her tongue over her chapped lips. Her eyes were blurry with tears and her face grim.

"Anisha...I" Andrew rubbed his eyes as his voice cracked. His chest was tightening in pain.

"Why'd everything have to turn out like this? Why'd we have to end like this? Why'd I have to end up like this?" Anisha rubbed her lips together, crying softly. "I just wanted you love me."

"I do, Anisha. God fuck, I do. I know I fucked up. I know...Anisha." Andrew rubbed his eyes before quickly reaching for her hand. A small teardrop fell onto her hand. He couldn't lose her. Yet, he knew just how close he was to. To losing her. "Please don't leave me. I...I love you. Fuck Anisha, I...I know I...but please."

"It's far too late." Her voice was detached, careless. Anisha shook her head, staring at Andrew.

And just as easily, a hint of softness surrounded her.

"I already know I'm not going to get better. But Andrew. I loved you, I really did. And that's why I didn't give up on you. I should have but I didn't."

"It was wrong. But it's what I did. I tried to justify your mistakes, I tried to understand that you were hurting, I tried easing your pain. And maybe it's because...I don't even know why. But can you promise me one thing?"And that was all she could ask. And hope for. "You always break your promises. But still, I'm going to ask you something."

"If you ever loved me like you claimed you did, if you ever cared or even if you just feel sorry for me. Just promise me something."

"My kids, Andrew. Take care of Ryan and Mira."

Anisha looked at him, pleading gaze.

"Promise me you'll take care of them. Please Andrew. They're all I care about."

The door opened but Anisha refused to look up. She stared at Andrew, refusing to acknowledge Sebastian as he stepped into the room, pausing at the monitor to note her vitals.

"Promise me Andrew. You'll take of Ryan and Mira. You said you're sorry. If you're sorry, you won't make the same mistake twice." She nodded, begging for him to respond. "Promise me you won't make the same mistakes, the mistakes you made after Cassie's death."

"You'll be there for them, in a way that you were never there for me. That's all I ask. I don't care if you find someone else or get married again or move to a different city or anything else but please, just take care of my children. Promise me you'll be there when they need you. Promise?"

Andrew didn't say anything, he simply stared at her, wide-eyed. It was yet another truth he refused to acknowledge.

He was really going to lose Anisha.

His breathing was heavy as he slowly understood what she was asking. His heart felt heavy. He could feel it, heavy and painful.

His voice was gone. He couldn't say anything. Anything and everything he wanted to say.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't live without her. He couldn't. How was he going to raise their kids, all alone? A single father? How was he going to live without her? A widower? He couldn't do it.

Anisha. He could never love anyone else. He could never be with anyone else. He couldn't even think about living without her.

"Anisha." His hold on her hand tightened. Begging, pleading with her to not give up.

But she wasn't even looking at him.

Anisha turned to face Sebastian as he smiled softly before standing at the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

She ignored his pitiful gaze, shrugging.

"Fine. I just forgot to take one pill but I'm fine." They both knew that statement was far from the truth.

"It's not only that Anisha." Sebastian awkwardly shuffled his feet around, a habit, only when he was nervous. "Have you two talked about end-of-life care options?"

Anisha turned glaring at Andrew, confused, her gaze accusatory. But before he could say anything, she shook her head.

"No." And the truth of the end, she was well aware of. She smiled, faintly, the corners of her lips twitching. "I want to go home. Please."

She looked at Sebastian and then back at Andrew. Both looked as though they were ready to argue with her.

"Please."

"I know I'm going to die. I know I can't be saved. But please, my kids. I want to go home. For the last time. Please."

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900 votes again? lol I have midterms coming up so idk