"I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it."

- Jenny Han

▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Anisha look at Andrew's hand as he rolled the ring around, playing with it. Her eyebrows were drawn together, lips parted and chapped as she pulled her hand away from him.

After everything, every single fucking thing, she had finally given up. And in those few seconds, she couldn't have felt any duller.

Maybe she should've felt regret, for the mistakes she'd made and the lies she'd continued to believe. Maybe she should've felt a tinge of sorrow, for all the memories, only memories, that she'd be leaving behind, for her husband and her children. Maybe she should've felt pity, for the way things had turned out, for her and for everyone around her.

But truthfully, she didn't feel anything. Except dull, devoid of everything.

And she no longer cared, not even a little bit.

Coughing, she squirmed around a little, moving around to make herself comfortable.

"Anisha." His voice was hallow.

And she wanted to laugh, maybe cry at the way he stressed her name. Almost as if he couldn't believe what was going on. Almost as if he couldn't believe this was how it was going to end.

"No one ever deserves anything, do they?" She sucked in her lower lip, biting down on it. Her chest felt tight.

She didn't care. She didn't want to care. But still, after everything, she couldn't believe that everything was coming to an end for her. After everything, her entire life, it all came down to this?

The last few minutes, as she sat on the hospital bed, frail, coughing lightly, fading. It all came down to this?

"My mom used to tell me that people will get what they deserve. That sooner or later, everyone gets what they deserve." Anisha shrugged, looking away, gazing around the hospital room. "But what about people who get what they don't deserve?"

Almost hesitantly, she looked back at Andrew before quickly diverting her eyes. "But I guess, nothing is ever fair, is it?"

Holding back a bitter laugh, she shook her head. "I mean, we didn't deserve to end up like this."

"I didn't deserve." Her voice ragged, faded out at the end. She wasn't even sure. And maybe that was the problem, she'd never been sure of what she'd wanted, needed and deserved.

That had to be the problem. She knew what she wanted, what she needed. But perhaps, maybe she never understood what she truly deserved.

"I may have made a lot of mistakes. My entire life, I've fucked up, over and over. I've lied, I've cried and more than anything, I've tried."

"And that's all there is to it." Anisha placed her hand on top of Andrew's, softly as she faced him. "That's all there is to it."

"Everything will be okay, Andrew. Things never turn out as expected, life never goes according to plan. We planned everything out." Anisha had a faraway look, a faint smile. Because he had, they had. "We had everything planned out. And everything, this is how it turned out."

"I...Just take care of Mira and Ryan. You...You're a good father. You may not have cared much about me and I know that but you've always been good to them. Ryan, he....he'll come around. He's stubborn, just like you." Anisha smiled, faintly, her eyes filling with teardrops. Because life would still continue without her. Everyone, everything, would keep moving forward. "And Mira, she loves you more than anything. Don't ever doubt that."

"I...I can't...I've fucked up with them too. I always do." The words were uneven, choppy as his voice cracked. He turned his hand around, intertwining it with her hers, holding onto her, careful of the IV.

Her dark brown eyes held a hint of softness, of care. The corners of her lips were curved upwards, slightly, almost smiling.

"I don't hate you." A faint laugh escaped her lips, almost mockingly. At the foolish girl she was being again.

"After a while, I just gave up. I just accepted things as they were, as they are right now. This is my life. These are my choices, my mistakes, my regrets, my blessings. And maybe I should hate you. I should yell at you, scream at you. But you know, I...I don't."

She looked at Andrew, squinting as she felt a wave of dizziness hit her.

"I'm just so tired of feeling sad all the time."

Because for some reason, sad was all she knew. Sad wasn't truly a feeling. Maybe it was a combination of things. Especially for her. And so, she was always sad.

Anisha raised an eyebrow as someone knocked on the door, wondering who could even care enough to see her. But before Andrew could get up to open the door, she tightened her grasp on his hand. Begging him to just listen to her for a few more seconds.

"I know we haven't loved each in a really long time. I know this isn't how things were supposed to turn out for us. I know we both made our own mistakes and that's why we're like this today. But Andrew?" Sobbing softly, light teardrops streaming down her face, her lips quivering. " I can still remember everything, everything from the way you'd made me feel to the minute I fell in love with you. I can still remember it all. And maybe that's why I don't hate you right now."

"Maybe that's all it is. But I loved you. And I know, a long time ago, you loved me."

It broke her heart as she stared back at him. Messy hair, tired eyes, worry lines etched on his forehead.

Over and over, he'd broken her heart. And this time, she was breaking his.

"I'm sorry we ended up like this. I'm sorry that this is how things turned out to be."

Anisha wiped her tears, putting a smile on her face as Mira opened the door, running to her mother. Ryan stumbling in behind her.

Andrew sat there frozen, staring back at Anisha until Mira stood in front of him. Anisha looked away as he kept his gaze on her and she instead turned to her daughter.

"Mommy, are you sick?" Anisha took Mira's hand in hers, giving her a small but reassuring squeeze as Mira continued mumbling, asking question after question. "Mommy? Why are you in the hospital?"

"Yea, I'm fine now. They gave me the red Advil so now I'm going to be better now."

Mira playfully slapped her forehead, playing along with her mother. "But the red one is yuck! You should've asked for the purple one."

Mira sat down on the side of the bed before reaching into her bag and pulling out a doll, showing her mother her new doll. "Look Mommy, Grandma got me a new doll. It's Cinderella. The blue dress is like the one I wear to Disneyland."

Anisha looked away as her daughter continued mumbling about the doll and the blue colored dress. She looked up at Ryan as he stood by the corner of her bedside.

Smiling, she nodded for him to come closer.

He was quite older than Mira. And from the guilty look and regretful gaze he was giving her, she knew he'd caught on to what was going on.

"Mom?" His voice cracked as he reached for his mother's hand. His eyes red, glossy. "I...I...Gleevec is for...for leu-leukemia."

And before Anisha could say anything, he leaned in, burying his face against her shoulder.

"Oh Ryan." She muttered, soft gentle words as he sobbed against her shoulder, his chest heavy and his hands wrapped around her.

"I'm so sorry." Ryan pulled back, abruptly. Rubbing his eyes, soft whisper plea. "Mommy."

With cold eyes like his father and a gentle smile like his mother, Ryan wrapped his hand tightly around hers, wearily eyeing the purple bruises.

Just for a second, he almost looked like the innocent three-year-old little boy who didn't understand why his mother was living in a different house as he cried and screamed for her to come back home. And with eyes filled with tears, lips quivering, once again, he was begging her not to leave.

And Anisha let out a harsh sob. Because more than anything, even though she was sick of everything, she didn't want things to end. Her kids. For them, she'd tried to get better.

And she hadn't.

"I tried. I really did. But Gleevec didn't help. Nothing helped. And now." She reached up, brushing away any stray tears from his face. She took in a deep breath, her voice shaky. "Ryan, don't ever blame yourself. You...you are an amazing son. And no matter what you do, I'll always be proud of you. And I will always love you."

She gave him a faint smile, her heart breaking. "Sometimes things happen, unexpected, unwanted, unnecessary. Everyone hurts, at some point. But life, it'll be okay because it keeps moving on."

She nodded to Mira, who was staring back at her mother, wide-eyed, too innocent and naïve. Anisha nodded to Mira and turned back to look at Ryan. "Take care of your sister. And Ryan, it's okay to be fragile sometimes. You don't have to pretend to be okay when you're not."

Anisha squirmed around again, pulling the blanket closer to her before reaching out for Ryan.

She squeezed Ryan's hand, promising him she loved him. And even if she wasn't around, she'd always be proud of him. Always.

Anisha brushed the hair away from Mira face, letting her finger brush against her cheek. Hoping that her daughter would never have to suffer or cry the way she had.

Then, Anisha turned to face Andrew. Her eyes darted from the wedding ring to him. She gave him a small smile, that was all she had to offer.

She opened her mouth, wanting to say something. But there was nothing left for her to say.

Anisha looked up as a nurse entered the room, knocking softly.

"Hi, I'm Julia and I'm going to be your night nurse. Dr. Knight had requested that we keep you overnight just to monitor your vitals." The nurse turned towards Andrew. "I'm afraid visiting hours are going to be over soon. I'll give you a few more minutes."

Nodding, Andrew turned back to Anisha. Almost afraid to leave. "She'll be okay. I...I don't know what medications but."

Nodding, the nurse agreed. "The doctor, he said it's the same as what she's been taking all this time." The nurse smiled at Mira who was still too interested with the color of her doll's dress. "Would you like a sticker?"

Mira instantly looked up, smiling at her mother before shyly glancing at the nurse. Her dazzling smile and the front tooth that was missing. "Do you have Cinderella stickers?"

"I'll go check."

Anisha laughed, softly as Mira flashed her a grin. A piercing pain in her stomach reappearing. Ignoring it, she turned back to her family.

She yawned, a little bit of dizziness surrounding her.

Andrew's hand immediately found hers.

"Anisha." His voice was barely a whisper. What was left for him to say. What was left for him to do.

Absolutely nothing.

"It's okay. I'm fine." And she gave his hand a soft squeeze, smiling at him for the last time.

She loved him, more than she could've ever thought possible. Until him, until the way he made her feel, she would've never known what love was. And maybe, she would've never known what heartbreak was.

And she'd held on, for so long. For every bit of hope and every single cry of pain.

She'd done it. For them. For the two of them.

Her grasp on Andrew's hand loosened.

"Do you want to lay down?"

She nodded as Andrew helped her, wrapping the blankets around her as she lay down, wanting to rest.

Anisha watched as he nervously ran a hand through his hair, tugging on the dark brown locks. "I'll be here first thing in the morning. I...I'll tell the nurse to call me if they need anything. I...I don't know what medication you're taking. I'll bring you breakfast in the morning." He continued, blabbering, buying more time. He was afraid and he didn't want to leave.

"I'll be fine."

She looked at him, for the last time. Ryan standing behind him, holding onto his sister's hand. Mira, playing with her doll's hair, smiling every now and then at her mother and poking her brother as he continued to ignore her.

And Anisha closed her eyes, wanting to sleep, to hide away from the pain the world seemed to throw at her. Andrew still holding onto her hand.

And the last strings that were left of his marriage.

Anisha Hayes was finally letting go of all the pain and the heartbreak. But Andrew Hayes was desperately holding onto the broken strings that were easily slipping away from his grasp. Once and for all.

He was holding on.

But she was letting go.

○●○●○○●○●●○●○●○●○●○○●○●●○●○●

950 votes again for the next chapter.

thank you for reading :) the next chapter will be last chapter. I will do an epilogue for each character maybe. Other than that, I really appreciate everything! I honestly can't even believe that I finished this story esp cause it's a mess but who cares it's just for fun lol. But still thank you so much for reading!!! :)