"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

- Emily Brontë

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Anisha took the cup of strawberry ice cream from Andrew's hands as he sat down next to her. Her daughter instantly reached over, smiling and wanting to try some of the ice cream.

She didn't want to go out for ice cream after Ryan's game. She had wanted to go home.

She just wanted to go home and sleep.

The soccer game had been fun enough. It was enough for her kids to remember her by. But then Mira had screamed and begged for ice cream.

But Anisha just wanted to go home.

Because she was scared. She hadn't taken her medications at all today, again.

And she was scared of getting another nosebleed. Because this time Andrew would know that something was wrong. And he would want to know what was in fact wrong with her.

She had really wanted to tell him what was wrong with her. She had really wanted to tell him. But she didn't want his fake concern.

She wanted him to care because he wanted to. Not because he was forced to.

And maybe she just didn't want to tell him because she didn't want to admit it. Because for a long time, she had acted like nothing was wrong.

It was easy to pretend. And that's all she had been doing, pretending.

She knew Andrew knew something was wrong with her. She knew Ryan knew something was wrong with her.

They just didn't know what that something was.

And it was okay for now.

Because that meant, she could continue pretending. Continue pretending to be okay.

She had wanted to go home, to go home and sleep.

But Mira had screamed she wanted ice cream. And then begged for her mother to come.

So Anisha had agreed.

Because she wanted to be happy, be happy with her family.

She smiled softly as she watched her two kids continue to argue with each other.

Mira continued yelling at her brother, complaining about how he sucked at soccer because he had missed the ball twice. And Mira reached over to hit her brother because he called her a spoiled brat. But instead she dropped her vanilla ice cream cone with sprinkles on the floor. She narrowed her eyes and looked between her mother and father, waiting for one of them to scold her. But when neither did, she reached over and took her father's ice cream, giving her father an innocent smile and taking a big bite of the coconut-flavored ice cream.

Anisha laughed softly as Mira made a yuck face, showing her dislike for the coconut ice cream and handed the cup back to her father.

Mira then smiled up at her mother, instantly filling Anisha's heart with warmth.

And Anisha wanted to cry.

It wasn't because she was sad.

No. Anisha felt happy.

She was happy.

For the first time in a really long time, she genuinely felt happy. For the first time, in a really long time, her smile was real.

Everything around her was beautiful. And she felt beautiful as she sat in the same ice cream shop where exactly eighteen years ago, Andrew had first told her he loved her.

It was a perfect evening.

She was surrounded by her kids and her husband.

Summer evenings were Anisha's favorite. There was just something special about summer days and nights. It was as if they held some kind of promise. Some kind of promise about happiness and carefreeness.

And she loved it. She had always loved it.

It was all perfect.

She took a small bite of strawberry ice cream. She wasn't hungry. She didn't eat much. But it was her favorite.

And she wanted to try it. She wanted to taste her favorite ice cream, for the last time.

She couldn't help but feel happy.

But it was a sad kind of happy.

Ryan's voice and Mira's soft giggles warmed her heart.

And for the first time, in a really long time, she smiled under the summer sky. Small stars were already sparkling in the sky, the blue hues of the sky slowly darkened and the lights shined brighter than ever around the small ice cream shop, in the corner of Santa Monica. It all felt good. It felt so fucking good.

Anisha felt happy.

She felt happy for once. She didn't have to pretend because she was, she was really happy.

But she felt sad. Sad because it was as if she was seeing moments like this slip away from her grasp. Because she knew it could end any second, it could end any of these days. And she just wasn't ready.

And she couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time she would sit and laugh with her kids. She couldn't help but wonder if she would even wake up tomorrow morning.

She could feel it. She could feel every pain, in every part of her body becoming shaper and more unbearable each time. She could feel her nosebleeds getting worse. She could feel her body slowly giving up on her.

She could feel it ending.

And still she found herself hoping that it wouldn't end.

Because she didn't want it to end.

But she knew it was. And even though she wanted to smile and laugh and enjoy, how could she? How could she when she knew the end was near?

When she knew she was running out of time.

When she knew all Andrew would even remember would be a dull woman who had once given him everything she had to offer.

And it still hadn't been enough.

When she knew all her kids would remember would be a frail lady who smiled one last time with them as they argued over ice cream and soccer.

"You don't want sprinkles on your ice cream?" Andrew looked down at the cup of strawberry, plain and pink without the excessive amount of sprinkles she always asked for.

And for the first time, in a long time, his voice held a hint of softness as he spoke to her. A softness he hoped would assure her that he was willing to try, harder than he ever had before.

She turned and looked at her husband as memories she didn't want to think about slowly came back. Memories and promises she had pushed deep down and locked away.

Memories she didn't want to think about.

Because they were the kind of memories that brought a smile to her lips but created sharp pains in her heart.

Promises she didn't want to acknowledge.

Because it was the same promises and words of hope that had ruined her.

And she hated reminiscing about the days of when they had been young, roaming the streets of Santa Monica, hand in hand, hearts beating together and eyes set on each other.

She hated thinking about those days.

Because all she could ever take away from those memories was that he had once loved her.

He had once loved her. And they had been happy together. They had been so happy together.

They had been perfect together.

Everything had been perfect.

She had loved him. He had loved her.

And she hated thinking about the days they had been young and in love.

Because all she could think about was how he had once loved her. And how he had stopped.

How he had stopped.

Andrew had fallen out of love with her.

It was all just a bunch of bullshit.

All empty promises. All broken strings. All shattered hope.

Her mother had been right.

It was all Anisha's fault. She couldn't keep Andrew in love with her. There was nothing about her to love.

She wasn't the kind of girl Andrew wanted. And it was her fault. It was always her fault.

But she looked away from Andrew's intense gaze and instead looked around the small ice cream shop. Every small memory slowly came back.

It was the same ice cream shop.

The same shop where he had kissed her outside of, passionately under the starry sky. The same shop where he had held so gently and with so much care as he finally confessed he loved her.

It was the same stupid ice cream shop. The same fucking ice cream shop.

Of course now, eighteen years later, it had been renovated. The counters had been polished. The walls repainted a brighter shade of berry. Many new flavors of ice cream had been added to the menu.

And when she looked around, she could see many young couples, sitting at tables, holding hands and sharing promises of love.

Maybe it was just the shop. It still held an aura of promise and affection around it. It held a certain promise to it.

At least for her, it did.

Because it was at this small ice cream shop, Anisha had first fallen in love. It was here she learned how it felt to truly want and love someone. To want and love everything about a single person. It was here that she had first realized how strongly and deeply she loved Andrew.

It was funny how the random ice cream shop had given her the hope for a happy future, for a perfect ending.

It had given her hope that she had found her happily-ever-after. That she had found her prince charming. That she really was getting a fairytale style ending.

And she could still remember it. Remember how he had looked at her with so much care and love as he had whispered the three words that had changed everything.

And she had believed him. Believed that he truly did love her.

She finally looked back him, her heart in many broken pieces and her days filled with nothing but sadness. "I don't like sprinkles anymore."

And she didn't. Sprinkles were too happy. They were too bright and colorful.

And Anisha, Anisha was dull and gray. She didn't need that splash of color in her life.

And she noticed the slight plea in his eyes. But she shook her head and looked away.

This time if he told her he loved her, she wouldn't believe him. And this time, if he asked her to stay, she wasn't going to.

He had finally ruined her. And he had finally shattered any bit of hope she had left.

And it had all been nothing but empty promises.

Empty promises that created false hope. And false hope that had destroyed her heart.

Because Anisha Hayes had really believed he had loved her. And she knew he had. Once, long ago, they had been in love.

And now, she bit her lip as fresh tears gathered, clouding her vision. Because he had fallen out of love. He had stopped loving her.

"You have ice cream on your lip."

She quickly blinked a few times, trying to hide the fact that she was close to crying. And she froze as Andrew gently reached out, wiping the melted ice cream off the corner of her lips, letting his hand softly brush against her lips.

And she was slowly aware of Mira's soft laugh and Ryan's wide smile as they both looked between their parents.

This was it. She had given her children some last happy moments.

They would remember. Remember that their mother had smiled, laughed, talked alongside them. And that their mother had loved them.

And she had loved Andrew. She really had.

Because he had shown her what it had been like to feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel happy. And they had been happy, once, long ago.

Before they became focused on trying to hurt one another.

And everything dulled around her. She wanted nothing more than to sit against the door outside the ice cream shop and cry.

She wanted to cry and cry. Cry for every broken piece of her heart. Cry for every bit of shattered hope she held.

Because Anisha had been happy. She had been loved once. But she wasn't anything special. It hadn't been enough.

Falling in love was one thing. Sure it was nice. But staying in love. Staying in love, forever and forever. That was fucking beautiful.

That was what she had really wanted. And it was at the small ice cream shop that she had really thought that it had happened.

She had really thought it was her happy ending.

But now, she was nothing more than a sad woman. A sad and pathetic woman. Who had been obsessed with some perfect fairytale ending.

She looked down at her hands as small but heavy teardrops rushed down her face.

Memories she didn't want to think about. Promises he had made to always love her.

Just a bunch of his many lies. All a part of his game.

A small ice cream shop. When she had just been a young college girl. Going on a date with her boyfriend.

And somewhere between the bright lights and windy breeze and strawberry sprinkles, she had fallen in love.

And that's what was painful.

Because she had really thought this was her happy ending.

The ice cream shop had handed her promises of happiness, hope of joy and words of love.

But it also left cuts on her wrists, broken pieces of her heart and forgotten love that she had once felt.

She stood up and rushed out of the ice cream without a single word, keeping her gaze on the floor tiles because she couldn't stop crying. She refused to let her kids see her crying over the heartbreak she had been suffering with for years.

But she had. She had been crying for years. Her mother was right. She was just a foolish little girl, blinded by a chance at love.

A pathetic woman who had held onto nothing. Held onto a hope that in the end, everything would work out. That they would be okay, together. That he would always love her.

She pushed open the door, smiling and sighing as she was met with a cool breeze. A fresh cool August breeze quickly drying her tears.

And she looked up to the stars. They weren't smiling down at her anymore. But still, they were shining. Sparkling in the dark and dull sky.

Just like she had for years.

Just like she had forced herself to take the pills to help with depression. Just like she was still taking pills to help with her blood production.

But stars don't shine every night. And Anisha had shined enough.

It wasn't enough today.

But she still smiled.

She had been happy, once, long ago. She had been loved.

But now, her story was ending.

And it was okay. Because once upon a time, Anisha Hayes had a perfect ending.

And she looked around at the world around her. Smiling.

She couldn't help but remember how that day was so similar to today.

It was the same gentle summer breeze. And the starry sky was shining just bright. And the palm trees swayed gently.

And she spun around once, with joy and happiness. Twirling, shining with hope.

Her eyes darting from the tall palm trees to the bright lights from the amusement park. And she turned around, towards the ice cream shop, the ice cream shop that had given her hope and promise of a happy future, only to find Andrew standing a few feet away from her.

His hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants and a soft smile adorning his lips.

"Anisha." Her name was a soft whisper on his lips. And she listened to him say it with so much care and admiration. Perhaps for the last time.

But she didn't say a single word as he took small steps closer to her.

And then he was standing in front of her.

She had suffered enough for him. She had stayed long enough.

But still. He had loved her at some point. Even if it was a long time ago.

And she still didn't say anything as he placed his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

She didn't know why but he was looking at her with so much love and admiration. He was looking at her the same way he had been, eighteen years ago, when he had first confessed he loved her.

It was just the two of them, under the California sky. There was a gentle breeze. And the lights were bright. The stars were shining. Everything around them was beautiful.

Full of promise and love.

And he was staring at her, so intently, like she was all he ever wanted. Like all he ever needed.

And just once, she wanted him to care. Just once.

She needed him to care.

And he did.

She didn't pull away this time. Even though he was expecting her to. He leaned in, very slowly, almost afraid that she would pull away from him just like she had at his birthday ball.

But she didn't.

She didn't pull away this time. Because she wanted one last act of care. Because she wanted one last act of desire. Because she wanted one last act of love.

She wanted to be that foolish teenage girl again. The girl who had been obsessed with a perfect ending and a prince charming. The foolish girl who had been swayed by the idea of love.

Because long ago, she had been loved.

They had loved. Long ago. They had fallen apart. Some time ago. She was near her end. Not too far from now.

And this, this was what she wanted. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be loved by him.

She closed her eyes and leaned towards him.

And his lips slowly met hers, holding desperation and want. Slowly but passionately, he showed her he still cared. He still loved her.

And she let him kiss her.

One last time.

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Look, Anisha is very depressed. She is broken and lacks any kind of self-confidence and self-worth. It isn't easy being happy. It's something she has to force herself to do.

Andrew is safe. Andrew is a constant and she always runs back to him.

And the ice cream shop is special for her because it's where she fell in love. It's holds promises of love and hope. And now, it's her entire life coming around in a circle as she comes to terms with her past and her sickness.

This is Anisha Hayes giving up.

I'm just going to leave this quote here because it's perfect to describe her.

"Depression is being colorblind and constantly being told how colorful the world it."

- atticus