Autumn POV:

I'm staring like a creep.

He's even more beautiful than before. He's like a Greek god without even trying.

Damian is just casually looking through the shelfs, pulling out one book at a time, quickly reading the back of the book and putting it back, then moving on to the next one.

As I watch his movements carefully, studying them, I suddenly remember why I'm here, staring at him.

I duck into the next aisle of bookshelves, suddenly feeling anxious about all of this.

My heart is beating fast and faster to the point where I might actually have a heart attack.

My breath becomes short, my palms are so fucking sweating and I suddenly become fearful of everything.

What if he doesn't want to see me again.

What if he is truly mad at me and wants nothing to do with me?

Since I'm in a library, I tried to keep whatever is going on with me to myself, but it's hard.

I slide down the shelf as I contemplate whether or not I should just go for it.

I take deep breaths in and out as I try to remember what James has told me.

Flashback:

"So are you thinking about apologizing to him?" James questions.

"Of course" I said, "I mean, why wouldn't I? I fucked everything up, didn't it?" I added, questioning myself.

I trie to laugh it off but as it fades off, I know deep down, I feel like a fucking fool all over again when I recall the events.

But James didn't laugh one bit, nor did he smile, he just looked at me with sympathy, and worry.

"I hate the way you keep blaming yourself" he suddenly said, "You have to move on"

"But I have every right to blame myself, that is how this whole mess started" I reminded him.

"Don't you think that Evan is the one also to blame, I mean he's the one who wanted some type of revenge in the first place" James said.

"I'm the person who believed him, I'm at most to—"

He cuts me off, "Autumn, you can't continue to blame yourself, what's done is done, you should learn from this and move forward"

To this I whispered, "what did I learn from this? That I was a naive little bitch that believes everything that comes out of someone's mouth"

"Sure, you could say that"

I roll my eyes at that, not able to come up with a response.

Flashback ended.

I tried to really take in his advice, it's fine—I have to move on, and if Damian doesn't accept my apology, then I'll be fine (I hope) and we'll be together in another life.

My fucking god, even thinking about it that way made me have chills running through my spine.

It probably made me a little depressed at most.

I realized how long I've been sitting for, so long that my butt started to feel numb.

I gasped as I also quickly realized that Damian could have left.

Still sitting on the floor, I peaked over the shelf and quietly sighed in relief. He's still there, but he has been moving down the aisle since last seeing him.

I stood up, shaking, I can do this, I thought in my mind.

As I worked up the courage and the strength, I breathed deep in and forced myself to step towards him.

My heart is beating faster than ever, my brain is telling me to turn back around and think about what I'm going to say.

Oh my fucking god, I didn't even think about that, I'm a mess. Shit.

But my legs won't stop, they just keep on walking until I'm right behind Damian.

I stop breathing. The pit in my stomach is growing more rapidly—a terrifying pit.

Damian doesn't notice me yet, he has airpods in, he must be blasting them because from this semi-close distance, I could hear them—

Suddenly his eyes are on me.

I nervously swallow as he takes his airpods out and puts them back in its case.

He looks at me for a second and continues his search for a book as he sighs.

The tension in the library was thick, so thick that my breaths became short and heavy.

We didn't speak for almost a minute. Since I figured that Damian isn't going to break the silence, I will.

"So, are you picking out a book for your mom again?"

He didn't even look at me, he just quickly said "Sure"

My hands can sweaty hand, I subconsciously intertwine my fingers

Okay. Okay, I expect this, I expect that Damian is probably still mad at me.

I opened my mouth to say something else but then the fear washed over me.

The thought of Damian never wanting to speak to me again, in general.

What if that truly happens. I can't imagine my life without him.

My nose started to stink as my eyes hint a little watery from the fact that this might be the last time I see him.

I stopped myself from crying as Damian looked at me again, this time with pure vexation.

"Do you need something?" He questions.

I was stunned and hurt by this, so I took a step back, giving him some space.

I avoided his eyes as I quietly said, "I just want another chance"

Looking up at him again, his eyes softened, but only for a second as he shook his head, bringing back the annoyance on his face.

"I don't know Autumn" he said with uncertainty, "Should I trust you again? I mean, we build trust between each other and you broke my trust, just like that" he paused, "Listen, I know I should have told you about Evan, but I didn't want him ruining what we had, and you believed his lies Autumn"

I nodded as I understood, If I were in Damian's position, I wouldn't trust me either. He has the full right not to trust me right now, but I can't just keep waiting, how long is it going to take? More days, months, even years.

I don't want Damian to be mad at me forever for this one stupid, giant mistake.

But I decided to keep my mouth shut and just accept it.

"Okay" I said as I turned around and walked the other way.

I have my head down as I felt defeated, it seems like Damian will never forgive me and to be honest, it's okay because this is another lesson learned.

Seems like I have a lot of lessons learned these past few months.

Before I turned the corner of the long bookshelves before me, my brain randomly replayed a memory in my mind, where I had slapped Evan so hard and went off on him.

I tried to keep my laughter in but I couldn't help it, I so desperately want to tell Damian now, but what if he gets mad again, even though he dislikes Evan now right now, they are still brothers, right?

Before I could give it a second thought about telling him, I turned around and walked straight back to Damian, he looked more confused than surprised.

He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it, "I slap Evan very hard earlier today"

I don't even know why I'm telling him this, I just said it without any filter.

Maybe because I so desperately want him to believe me that he means so much to me.

I looked up at Damian and he's trying so hard to keep his laughter in by trying to make this a serious thing.

"Why?" He asked, "What made you do it?"

I play along, giving him a very serious answer, "I saw him and I release my anger out on him"

As soon as I said that, Damian couldn't hold it in anymore and released his laugh, but quickly remembered that we are in a quiet setting, so he quickly slapped his hand over mouth.

The people nearby looked over at us, annoyedly, I quietly apologized as I quietly laughed as well, remembering that reaction Evan had on his face after being slapped.

Our laughter soon dies out as we transition into an awkward silence.

"Damian" I said after a few minutes, "Look, I'm really sorry about all of this, I really am" I held back some tears as I explain more, "I know you won't forgive me right away, but I can't help but worry that you might not want to talk to me, like ever"

Damian looked down at me from the bookshelf in a haze, like I said something completely out of touch, like I delivered the most heart–breaking news ever.

"Autumn" He started, "You know that I would never not want talk to you again, just because of this one mistake"

"But I broke your trust" I reminded him.

"Yeah you did" He avoided my eyes, "But not every relationship is perfect, there will be bumps in the road, this is just one of our bumps"

I nodded as I understand, he's right, maybe because I've only been in one relationship my entire life, and I didn't grow from it, more like I stayed in that little bubble. I conditioned my brain into thinking that relationships were this perfect thing that you get to experience with someone else, just like in the movies.

But no, that was not the case realistically. Not at all.

As I thought about how much I have missed out on actual real relationships, Damian suddenly swoops me from my waist, and has pinned me against the bookshelf, maintaining soft eye contact with me.

"Don't think about it too much" He said, "You can't change the past, you can only learned from it"

"I know" I acknowledged.

"Good" he said while smiling, "Because I missed you" his voice lowering down to a whisper, "God Autumn, I missed you so much and everything about you"

Damian leans forwards as he pauses right in front of my face. I somehow lost my breath as I struggled to breath, all while at the same time, avoiding his eyes.

He grabbed my chin as he made me look up into his hooded eyes, I followed his eyes movements as he looked at my eyes then at my lips then back up to my eyes.

"God" He said, as he suddenly kissed me so intensely, like he couldn't get enough of me and it only started.

So I matched his energy and kissed him back even harder, he accepted it, his hand left my chin and tangled it into my hair, pulling my head back to get more leverage.

I groaned as he did so, our teeth and tongue clanking together, both of us losing control, not really trying to control the kiss again.

He smiled against my lips as he sighs in pleasure, kissing me once more.

I'm starting to lose my breath, but I don't care, I will die happy kissing this man in this library.

Wait–oh shit.

I stopped immediately, pressing my palms to Damian's chest, he paused as well, looking at me with confusion, like we didn't do anything wrong. I looked around, hoping to not see anyone. Luckily no one was around, but what if they first saw us when we started.

I would never live this down if they did.

Looking back at Damian, he still had a confusion on his face.

"What?" He whispered, I think he's actually confused about why I stopped.

"What do you mean 'what'?" I whispered back, "Damian, we are in a library for goodness sake!"

"Why should that matter?" He asked.

I stood there frozen, it's like my brain had a restarting button that just been pressed. I didn't say anything for a good moment.

"Because–we are in a public space, in a library Damian, and there is a hundred percent chance of someone walking in this aisle and seeing us" I explained.

Damian just smiled.

That perfect, beautiful smile.

"That doesn't matter" He said.

I was about to retaliate until he cut me off by kissing me. Once he put his lips on mine, I soon forgot all about my worries and kissed him back.

Before we lost control again, he stopped and stared at me, his eyes hooded and dark and his mouth slightly open.

"I can't believe this" He suddenly says.

"What can't you believe?" I questioned.

"That" He pause, trying to find his words, "I never thought of being in this position, with someone like you, this amazing and beautiful women"

I felt my cheeks burning from the compliment, I look down to avoid his eyes as I say quietly, "Same for you"

He kissed me once more as he lowered himself to one of his knees. I looked down at him in confusion, but quietly realized what he was going to do as he unbuttoned my pants and hooked his fingers around the rem of my pants.

"Damian–"

"Try to be quiet, okay?" He said.

Very long chapter indeed, wonder what they are going to do in the library.

Should Damian forgive Autumn truly?

Will they be able to be quiet for what to come?

-Summer Roe