After the incident, Dad had pulled me aside. He’d told me my intentions were good, but I should’ve asked his permission. He’d given me a hug- a sad hug- but a hug nonetheless. I hadn’t seen Phoenix since the incident in Wakanda, and Steve had told me SHIELD had transported Phoenix back to the tower, and had told Dad that they were going to monitor him for some time to make sure he was stable. Wanda wasn’t talking anymore, only briefly to Stephan, who seemed to be spending a lot of time with Phoenix.

In the elevator to Phoenix’s chamber room, JARVIS tells me Stephen is working with Phoenix and it might be better if I don’t interrupt. I ignore his warning, stepping out onto the floor. Phoenix sits on the floor, eyes closed, while Stephen does something with his magic. Phoenix occasionally twitches, fists clenching. Stephen pauses, looking over at me.

“Manya.” He nods. “Be quiet, and be careful”. I took his advice and sat to the side observing. I open my phone to the memo I have been keeping a list of potential parents for me, at least moms. I did a DNA test to try and find her. The only thing I know is that I am Russian and that her name is Laura. From the letter, she said she is in a small town in Russian. So for 2 years I have looked at all government records of anyone named Laura in Russia. So far I have found a total of 852 women with that name.

My inside man, Orion has been helping me hack. He's kinda like me. I met him through a secret program SHIELD set up for me to make friends with kids with powers. Glancing up from my phone I notice that Stephen had stepped out of the room. Now's my chance. “Hey Phoenix. When we were in Wakanda I noticed that you had multiple scars across your body. What is that from?” I question.

I kinda walk/shuffle over. He didn't seem to actually notice that I said anything, almost like he’s hypnotized and/or ignoring everything around him. I place a soft hand on his scar. Everything becomes blurred as moments of our lives fly past. It finally stops in a room with a table. The room smells like bleach and anesthetics mixed into one. Phoenix stands next to me, stingers unsheathed, and he looks terrified.

A door opens and the sound of voices echoes through the room. Two men enter, armed heavily, holding the door open for two doctors who escort Phoenix in between them. Two more men follow, helping strap this other Phoenix down. Two men remain flanking the door as the doctors and the other men leave. Phoenix doesn’t struggle, but he lays there, his face a mixture of anxiety and fear. When the door slams open, the two guards are back, this time with a different doctor and My Wolf, who looks so different from the man I know. He’s colder, more calculating, and more angry. Phoenix’s expression becomes blank and devoid of emotion, like some sort of perfectly programmed android.

“Маленький паук, you’ve advanced well.” My Wolf’s voice makes me wince, because it’s so different from the voice I’m used to hearing. “Much better, in fact, than we thought.” Bucky pauses as the doctor lays out a set of various blades. My stomach twists. I feel as though I know where it is going, but I don’t want it too.

“What else do you want from me?” Phoenix asks, looking over at Bucky, his face showing some emotion for the first time since My Wolf entered the room. My Wolf picks up a knife maybe a under a foot long, and inspects it.

“Unfortunately, we cannot be sure you have progressed as you have seemed until we begin the mandatory assessments.” My wolf flips the blade so he holds the hilt tightly in his metal hand, running his human thumb along the blade and taking in the blood that drips off the blade. “Your first assessment is simple: the test of instinctual survival. The task is simple. Survive for an hour, and advance to the next test.”

“What test? What am I supposed to survive? What are you-” I scream as My Wolf stabs the knife into Phoenix’s chest, hilt-deep, directly below his heart. Phoenix doesn’t make a noise, but lays there, looking stunned. He coughs, spitting up blood.

“You would do much better to talk less, Маленький паук.” My Wolf says, standing as everything blurs around me. “And listen more.” Everything goes blurry again, and I’m standing in front of Phoenix, who shoves me towards the door. “You should never have seen that.” he muttered.

I never thought I would see this part of his life. the way James harmed him was just brutal. I never even knew I could do that. Why did I even want to see, to know his pain? I look at my life realizing I know nothing about the people I love. What has Steve done, or dad, Wanda? Everything I saw is changing. The way I thought of life was changing. Who else could I see the memories from? What else could I learn?

My heart was pounding; my mind was racing. Everything was spinning then nothing. Everything just stopped and I realized I need to figure out who I am. Who is my real family and why am I like this? My life has been a lie, I did even remember life before the age of 4. The only person I could get answers from was dad but he would never tell me. I remember James showing me his book of memory collection he made when he escape HYDRA so maybe I could do that.

When I was younger I would draw pictures of people that I knew in my dreams. In my dreams they would screen out in pain. I saw Peters death before it happened, I watched as this man was being tortured my an unknown figure for months of my life. Who were these people, why did I have a connection with them and what was their purpose? And I have to find that out.