Shoulders // for KING & COUNTRY

One Year Later

Journal

I haven't written in nearly a year, and I feel horrible about it. It's just that so much has been going on, and it's all gotten away from me. But everything has been good. Too good for words.

I've been living with Luke and Courtney for about a year now, I couldn't be happier. They're literally the best people on the face of the planet. Courtney's pregnant with a little brother, and I couldn't be more excited.

Uncle Joel is completely awesome too, and so is his girlfriend, Moriah. She sings too, which is really cool. And the rest of the family is great. I'm closest with Uncle Joel after my dad obviously, but then Grandpa David. They're all wonderful, though. Aunt Rebecca sings as well. It's so incredible how I'm in the family of such awesome people, whereas a year ago, I didn't even have a real family.

I'm in middle school now, but I only actually go to public school part of the time. Sometimes when Luke is on tour, I stay with Courtney, but other times, she goes, and then I do too, and other times, she stays, but I go. When we do that, I take my classes online.

I couldn't love Courtney more, but I'm closer to Luke, so I like going on tour with him as much as I can. I don't like leaving Mom alone, though, and anyway, I do like school. I still go to the same school as Luna, who's also still my best friend. Katherine goes there too. She was adopted six months ago. She's still a jerk to me, but I still don't care. Anyway, Luke and Uncle Joel are always telling me how "priceless" I am, as they say it. I'll never listen to jerks like Katherine over amazing people like them.

Two years later (from the first Prologue)

Dad's still getting worse, and it's scaring me. He's so weak that he can't even pick up Jude anymore! Joel is trying to be strong, but I can tell he misses Dad a lot when he's on tour by himself. Luckily, Moriah has gone everywhere with him ever since they got married, so at least he has her to cheer him up. I went with them for a week, because Dad said it'd be good for me to get out of the house. I know he's worried about how his sickness is affecting me, but... I mean, I'm okay. I'm only a few months away from being twelve, after all. But I am scared. I love Dad so much. But he's so thin, and so weak.

We still talk, though. A lot. I mean, it's the only way to spend time with him anymore. I asked him the other day why he and Mom chose me back when they did. It's not like, you know, why would they choose someone like me? But more like I was just curious. He said it was for a lot of reasons, the main one of which was that they were praying and felt like I was the one God was laying on their hearts. But he also said I was just such a little ray of sunshine that he couldn't help but love me. That he fell in love with my smile from the very first. That meant a lot.

And it reminded me to be strong and cheerful. I mean, I'm not saying that I can't be scared, but I've just gotta keep my head up. Dad keeps saying that we've just gotta trust God, and that he's gonna get us through it. I know he's right, but I also know even he doubts it sometimes. I hear him crying at night, and I feel so bad for him. I know he feels like he's failing us, but he's not. He's just gotta hold on. I guess I knew that it was getting bad, but the other night, when they thought I was asleep, I heard Mom and Dad talking in the living room. Mom was crying, and told him he just couldn't leave us. Then Dad started crying too and promised he wouldn't. But... I mean... how can we be sure? I talked to Uncle Joel about it the next day, and that helped. But I know I've just gotta keep my head up, and keep believing. Mom and Dad need me to be their sunshine, just like I always have been. And most days, that's easy. Other days, it's harder, but Dad is there for me on those days, and when it's something about his sickness that I don't wanna talk to him about, I go to Joel, or sometimes Mom or Aunt Moriah. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing family, even in this difficult time.

Four years later (from the first Prologue)

Life's been totally insane lately, but in a good way. Baby Phoenix was born a few weeks ago and I'm officially in love. Having a newborn and a toddler to deal with around the house is pretty exhausting, though, I've gotta say. I'm just glad Dad's basically recovered. I know it's been a while, but still. That was scary. Now, he and Joel are hard at work on the Priceless Movement. They're working on a "reimagined" version of the song to release to the radio in a couple months, and even more, they're hard at work on the movie, which comes out in a year, give or take a few months. I can't take Joel seriously with his American accent, though. It's just hilarious to listen to him talk like that. I guess God really was lifting us up on his shoulders through everything. I just can't get over how blessed I am. I mean, I was adopted into the most amazing family in the world, Dad's better, and now I have two incredible little brothers. And I didn't even have to live through the horrors that so many kids in the foster system do. God's really looking out for me, that's for sure.