"Lacey!" I hear Jilly calling for me, but I don't respond. I sit against the white wall with my head buried in my knees. I sit there as I can almost hear my world breaking around. "Lacey please answer me! LACEY!"

"Where is she Jillian?" I hear Spencer's worried voice.

I can hear myself sobbing as I sit in front of the door not daring to look up knowing very well if I do there's no turning back. Maybe if I don't look up and I just stay here against this white wall wearing my favorite pink silk pajamas it won't be true. So I just sit there in silence not daring to look up as I soak my knees in black tears.

"I don't know where she is Spencer!" Jilly screams at her. "If I did do you think I'd be here right now.....LACEY!"

I lift my head up just enough to see my stained pajamas and I open my mouth to tell them where I am so I don't have to sit alone, but maybe with my friends, still in silence, but when I open my mouth nothing, but high-pitched sobs come out of my mouth. I cover my mouth trying to make my sobs silent, but they just grow louder and louder until I'm screaming in memory of him. The time I came to Tulsa the very first time. When I first met his girlfriend or the person who replaced me. In memories of the laughs and the smiles and the 'I love yous'. To think they're all gone.

"LACEY ANSWER US!" Spencer yells.

I shake my head miserable as I finally look up at the door and that's when I loose it. I lean over holding my stomach with one hand and covering my mouth my other in utter disbelief. I let out sharp screams as I sob uncontrollable. I sit on the ground trying to not to make a noise, but completely broken inside. The rooms was so dark and to know he was in there, completely gone, just breaks me and shakes me up.

Finally the girls find me and I can hear with a slight voice crack Jilly speak ever so softly, "Lacey."

Spencer gasps softly and as I look up I can see they're both crying looking at me in horror. Afraid to know what I sound like I don't even talk, I just stare up at them with make-up all over my red puffy face and tear stains decorating my face as I whisper a soft, "I'll always love him."

Jilly sits down next to us wrapping her arms around me, "oh hunny, we know you will, but you'll get through this, we'll be there for you every step of the way."

"We'll always have your back," Spencer reminds me as she sits on my other side. "Just know that I'm here and so is Jillian."

I shake my head, "no, it's over guys."

Jilly puts my head on her shoulder, "he's just one guy Lace."

I sigh, "I can't live here anymore! I have to go home!"

"You don't have to leave," Spencer whispers. "You have a shoulder to cry on if you need and an ear that will always listen....Actually you have two just right here."

"I can't believe he's gone," I whisper my voice shaking. "I knew it was gonna happen some day, but he was so young and I just met him. This isn't fair! I loved him guys! I really do."

"And he loved you," Spencer whispers.

"Where's Two-bit?" I ask. "Is he okay? I mean he knew him longer and he knew first. I can't imagine what he must be going through. They were so close!"

Jilly hugs me tightly, "that doesn't mean you didn't love him just as much if not more and it was a different love."

I look up at the door and once again I loose it, "he can't be gone! He can't be! This isn't real! I'm gonna wake up and he's gonna be here telling me he loves me! He's gonna hold me and tell me he loves me! Everything is gonna be okay again!"

Spencer sighs as she shakes her head, "Lacey, this is real life. I'm so sorry, he's gone and I know this is hardest on you because, you loved him and he just became a part of your life again, but he isn't coming back Lace and I'm sorry."

"Smooth Spence," Jilly rolls her eyes. "You're gonna be okay. He might not be here anymore, but he's still with you."

I shake my head as I feel as if I can't breathe, "he's gone...he's gone....he's gone....and I can't believe that. He's never gonna see me grow up or have kids or get old. We had dreams together Jilly. We had goals and dreams and we used to stay up so late just talking about life and where we were heading. What roll he was gonna play in my life ten years from now."

Jilly stands up grabbing my hand, "wanna join the gang yet?"

I shake my head, "I need some time without them. I just can't deal with them right now."

Jilly pulls me into a tight hug as I cry softly. She whispers softly into my ear, "I believe in you Lace and I know right now, you don't know how life is gonna go on without him, but believe me when I say it will. He loved you too and he wouldn't want you to stop living because, he's gone. He wouldn't want you to stop loving because, you lost him. So for him let the people you love help you."

I nod my head, "I just need a moment alone with him....In that room, I should say."

"I love you," Spencer smiles as she hugs me.

"Stay strong and we'll see you in a minute," Jilly smiles.

"Thanks," I whisper as I watch them walk away.

I look at the door with tears stinging in my eyes, but I keep on wiping them away trying not to cry again. I know he wouldn't want me to be hurting, but I can't help it. I walk into the room to see he's gone. The lights are out and the room is empty minus the bed he died in. I sit in the bed this is the last place, I hugged him. The last place I kissed him or told him I loved him, he told me he loved me , he told me he always will and that he has since the second he laid his eyes on me. Then right there after he said that he grabbed my hand and passed away. 

The door opens and closes as I sit on the bed my vision burred with tears as I sob softly to myself with my hands on my heart as I can feel it breaking. Then I hear a familiar voice whisper, "Lacey, are you okay?"

"Go away," I mumble not wanting to talk to him.

He sits down next to me, "Lacey, I know you're hurting because, I know you better than anybody. I know I hurt you too by leaving you along with everybody else in the gang even though you thought I'd be the only one to stay. I'm sorry, but I'm here now."

"You don't know what I'm going through," I whisper.

He looks over to me bitterly and I can only imagine what's come next as he opens his mouth.

I think that's a good place to leave you guys on. What do you think? I mean you guys don't know who she left or who the guy is. Although, I'm sure you have some ideas. So I'm very curious on your guys thought. Please tell me what you think. Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!
-Beth