In a week I turn 17. I feel the uneasy edge coming over me. There is a battle taking place in my mind as I struggle to keep up with the overwhelming senses that are occurring.

The instructors know that my date of birth is this week. They and the leader both watch me carefully.

If it happens correctly, then I accept the soul of the wolf the day of.

I am restless. On edge. There is a violence in me that is not from my own body, but from the mind of an animal.

The soul of my wolf was coming slowly, and it didn't like the body it was becoming a part of.

"You need to breathe. Take deep breaths. Control yourself. You have gained control over your body but your mind is weak."

The leader's words only cause me to flare up. He laughs at my reaction, his hand reaching to pat the top of my head. I hit his hand away, hating how easily he thought he could touch me now.

They make me sit alone for hours, thinking through my thoughts. I feel the fight in my mind. I can feel the presence of something else pushing against my thoughts, wanting to come in. Was it me? They had talked for years of the body and conditioning it, but this was the first I had ever heard of the mind and being able to accept it through that.

Anger surges through me that maybe he knew. Maybe the leader knew and that was why he had allowed me to go through this hell all these years. Why he taunted me saying it was not possible to kill him. Because he saw my mind and the weakness he had created there, and in this past year of training he had done his best to expand that weakness and prey upon it.

I close my eyes, going face to face with whatever the presence was that was fighting to gain access.

I'm a violent creature, I whispered to it, the world made me this way. I became this way. My goal is to kill. I want to kill. If you can't handle that and if you can't become a part of my goal, then I don't need you. I'll find another way.

The soul stops. I don't think I've ever heard of the strategy of talking and coaxing. Usually, what was told was that you accepted it and became one, but looking at what was before me, I knew that would be hard to manage. Not unless I tried in my own way.

I snarled in its presence. I showed my own claw and fangs. I lashed out and the soul fought back, striking against my mind and demanding to be let in. I continued to battle. Continued to fight and fight until finally I was staring at something just as angry and tormented as myself.

I laugh out loud and open my eyes.

The leader is staring down at me, something close to alarm and delight mixing in his gaze.

"What are you doing?"

I look angrily up at him. He bends down, letting us become face to face.

"You shouldn't do that," he whispers, "you shouldn't create a monster out of something that already is a danger."

"You should take your own words to heart," I spit, "you should have realized that truth when you first saw me."

His eyes grow wild as he grins. He leans towards me and I move away. He always was attempting this- skin to skin. I was always pushing back, glaring at him for trying to use or undermine me.

"You know what will happen when I take the soul?"

He only continues to smile at me, nodding.

"I'm going to kill you."

He laughs, a sound full of excitement, "come at me sweetheart. Let's practice before that happens."

I stand and turn to walk away.

"Vera." I don't know why, but I stop and turn around at the sound of my name.

There is a dangerous gleam in his eyes, a promise for a challenge that I stare down and meet.

He does not say anything else. But I know he wanted me to see that power in his gaze and feel the full effect of his strength.

*   *   *

I roll my head, hearing the crack of bone in my neck as I move it side to side. I jump, a light exercise while swinging my arms in preparation.

The instructors all stand around me. The leader is in front of me.

I grin at the position he is in. He will be the first one I see when this is over. I can easily attack him. Easily leap up and sink my new canines into his throat.

He shakes his head and laughs at me, "I know what you are thinking, Vera."

"I wasn't trying to hide it."

I can sense the nervous restlessness that is coming over the instructors as they fidget in place. They don't want to see the end result of this. They don't want to see the wolf they had trained through the years attack their leader at the first second.

But it was what I was planning.

One instructor, who is closest to the leader, leans over and whispers something. He only laughs and pulls back, "if she can."

Fury washes over me at those three simple words.

It's that fury that is the trigger for the beginning. I had molded and shaped the soul to become something vicious and angry. It responded and became alert when those emotions that aligned so similar to what I had taught it, came over me.

Like a dog to its treat, it eagerly waited for more.

I raise my head to the sky and scream. I see some of them flinch at the action, their unease only increasing as the snapping sound is heard. My arm twists. I fall to my knees.

I look up to see the leader staring down at me.

Flash backs to that night come back. Come back to haunt as they always did. Bodies at his feet. Blood coating his hands. Him leaning down to become eye level with me.

The whisper of his words in the dark.

That same feral grin.

My screams match the ones that were heard on that night as I yell at him. His grin widens. He waits in something that can only be described as anticipation.

My head snaps back. I hear the sound of my laughter as I fully accept the change.

Give me strength, I tell the wolf, give me the strength I need.

I eagerly grabbed it, stealing it away, making it my own.

My snarl becomes real, like that of the animal. My mouth opens, trying to escape the pain that is felt as canines elongate and extend, cutting into my lips and growing.

I meet his gaze again, letting him see my snarl of rage. Letting him hear my battle cry in the night. He meets it with his own, the moon reflecting off his amber eyes.

His wolf was coming to face me. He was rising to the challenge I had given him all those years ago.

My back snaps. I painfully bend back, feeling my hands reach for anything as the pain shoots through me. My fingers extend out, my head continuing to pull back and fall until it hits the dirt and my spine is fully curved.

I fall to my side, twisting and writhing on the ground.

"Don't touch her," he snarls at them, "don't you dare fucking touch her."

I want to laugh at the tone of his voice and the sudden possessiveness I can hear. I would go through this alone, just as how I went through everything else in my life.

His hand is felt on my wrists, pulling me up into position. I don't have the focus to think about this as he moves my arms and legs, positioning me to be on all fours.

I'm panting, low moans of pain being heard from deep in my throat as fur crawls up my arm. I feel the soul settling in. I feel it taking its place.

"Get ready," I whisper.

I feel his hands leave me and that burning sensation suddenly stops. I had not even realized it was his touch that had brought it instead of the pain from the gradual shift.

I look up to meet his eyes and the full transformation occurs. The process takes over me. I wonder if he is watching my own russet eyes stay in place as fur replaces skin.

I fall to the ground, anxiety rising in me at how much energy this had taken from me. I growl, the sound coming out wild and like that of the animal.

Now.

Now.

Now was the time.

I stand, unsteady and new in this body. He watches in amusement, no doubt knowing this would have happened all along.

But I rush towards him. He tilts his head in surprise, as I leap in the air to meet him.

I feel a startled yelp come out of me when he moves to collide with me. His body slams me to the floor.

I get back up, snarling. He is stripping down, his movements almost slow and taking his time as he grins at me.

I look around, seeing that the instructors have all taken wide steps back to avoid our eventual fight.

And before I can blink he is shifting into the other form he possesses, something he has had years to adjust and grow into.

He runs towards me and I do just as he did.

I collide with him.

We are a clashing of snarls and vicious grappling of teeth as claws rake down catching skin and spilling blood.

He grabs my throat, shaking me in his grip. I bite, trying to have enough reach for anything. He lets me go but quickly reclaims his hold.

He pins me to the ground, not bothering to stop me as my claws meet his flesh and try to break his grip.

He shakes me again, pain coming sharply through me. The power of his wolf overwhelms me.

I would never be able to overcome this animal. No amount of training or effort would make me defeat what was standing over me now.

He wanted this. He wanted me to sense this. To feel this.

Submit.

His growls tell me that is what he really wants.

But he did not know me. He never seemed to be able to accept just how extreme my way of thinking could go.

I don't stop in my struggle. I don't want him to release me.

He should have killed me that first night.

I was not something that should have lived.

He reads the defiance in my eyes. Kill me, my soul whispers to him, end it.

He drops me and I raise my head, snarling that he was the one who was backing down. He turns back to me, his growl shattering the night as he stands over me, pinning me back down with his stare.

I am laid on the ground, my ears back, unable to stop their motion as the sound fills me.

He shifts, still standing over me.

"You're never going to win, Vera."

Something close to a whimper leaves my throat. He bends down, looking at me- looking at the body of the wolf- of a broken animal that laid at his feet.

"Give up and become my warrior."

I have enough energy in me to growl in response to his words.

He laughs and stands, stepping back and crossing his arms, waiting.

"Shift."

I don't move for a second. For a second, I close my eyes and sigh, sigh at the defeat I must face and the satisfaction I can hear in his words.

I stand slowly, rising on all four legs.

The process of changing back was easier.

I am still on all fours when I hear a wild gasp leave him. I look up in confusion and freeze when I meet his wide eyed gaze.

No.

A heat comes over my body. It is something unexplainable that fills the void inside me. It is a feeling I had only had a taste of before my shift, but now fully comes down upon me. Realization of what we both had been fighting so hard against hits us as we look into each other.

"Vera..." his voice for once sounds broken. Unsure. He takes a step towards me and I quickly stand.

The instructors that surround us wildly look back and forth. Their gaze only widens when they see their leader extend his hand, reaching out for me.

"Vera..." he whispers my name, the sound trembling on his lips.

I have a sudden flash- an image- of me running into his arms. Of him extending them and surrounding me in his embrace. Of staying there. Of forgetting the world. Of taking a chance on what this new sensation means and what I knew we both are now to each other.

But that image is upturned by a feeling of revulsion as I look at his hands and see the blood from long ago. Stains he will never get off. Will never be able to wipe away.

My mother's voice, something I had forgotten, comes crashing into me as she whispers, One day, you will meet your Alam, your world, my Vera...and he will take away the burdens from you...he will make sure you are safe and will provide for your father's pack when he is gone.

It was a lie.

And then a different voice.

A voice I had only heard once comes to me in my time of need.

The witch I had saved that one day.

I'll give you what you want most in the world.

You can cross all barriers. Nothing can hold you back.

And I took those words into my soul and used it as a strength to turn and run away.