Broken Hearts {Azhar's Past}

What is the past? Is it something that someone has done that they regret or someone they don't want in their lives? But always remember that your past doesn't make your future.

Azhar was pacing in his room trying to get his mind off the expression he saw on Zianna's face the moment, he said Rania's name.

Azhar's POV

Mamma always told me that our past doesn't reflect the people we become in future because we don't let the people from our past come into the future that we planned.

But ever since Rania showed up at the office after a lot of time that has passed, I don't know what to do about it.

The only people who know what happened between me and her are my uncle and aunt. They wanted to tell my parents about it but I decided against it as I knew how disappointed they would be if they knew that their son almost entered a haraam relationship.

I was heartbroken but also thankful to Allah for making Rania do what she did to me.

Alhamdulilah.

I am now torn between keeping my rules and my heart.

"Azhar, Dad has been calling you for a while now," my older brother Azaan says. "Is everything okay? You can always count on me."

"I need advice from you about someone..."

"Is it that girl that Mamma has mentioned, her name is Zianna, I think. Am I right?"

"But first I need to tell you the entire story about someone else before hers. It started a few years ago in my first year of law school. I met a girl I thought I would have a future with but found out she was just using me. But when her parents wanted her to marry someone else, she accepted without a second thought, I started explaining to my brother Azaan.

It was the second day of a class that I was taking as part of my course. The professor was strict, on the first day, he told us that if we were ever late, he would cut off anyone's marks.

Alhamdulillah I wasn't late but as I was about to enter the lecture hall, someone collided with me almost making me fall.

"I am sorry..."

A voice said to me. This made me look up to see a girl his age. She was wearing a white hijab and a blue dress with white sneakers.

She was stammering trying to apologise to me.

"I..I am sorry . I didn't see you..."

"Hey, it is okay. No harm done," I told her.

"Thank you and once again, I am sorry," she said.

"Are you in this class?" I asked her. "I am sorry, my name is Azhar Muhsin and you are?" I introduced myself to her.

"Yes, I am. My name is Rania Saif. Excuse me," she says, leaving me without saying another word she walks inside the lecture room.

I walked inside the room and sat beside her without noticing it. From that day, we started to be friends and hang out at the university, of course with people around.

A few months before graduation, I confessed that I had feelings for her and wanted to make our relationship halaal.

She didn't say anything and gave me an excuse. She walked away from the conversation and continued to hang out with me.

Each time she would avoid the conversation. Until one day I stopped her and asked why she was avoiding the conversation we had.

Thats when she explained, that her parents chose someone better for her.

I asked what she meant by that.

She said someone richer, who can give her everything she ever dreamt of.

From that day, I asked our professors to take me out of the group projects if she was there as I didnt want the malicious thoughts in my mind to win.

"I dont know if it was love or something else. The day when I found out about her betrayal was..."

"The worst day of your life. I understand, Azhar. But Alhamdulilah you didn't go the way it wasn't meant for you. I am proud of you for that."

"But, she is back and bringing trouble at the office with me and..."

"Zianna. You know what to do, and I don't have to advise of anything else. Avoid her at all costs. You could even ban her from coming in the office..."

"I did all that but now calls are starting to happen at the office. And I think she has something against Zianna. I didnt like the way she looked at her. I felt worthless, Azaan but not anymore especially when my heart is on the line. What do I do?" I asked my brother hoping he would give some advice even though I knew the best person to go for the advice would be my mamma.

"Everyone has a past that they want to forget. But the best way is to leave it behind you even if it will follow you. You have many choices, Azhar. Tell Zianna who she is. And you can inform our parents who will help you in this and most importantly she has no right to do this, so I suggest you inform her husband or even her family about what she has been doing to you," Azaan says. "The best way to get her to stop is to disturb you at your workplace. And you should be thankful that she doesn't know where you live or the house number otherwise you will have to face dad's rage," he added shaking his head while slightly laughing.

"I know and alhamdulilah for that."

I know that my parents would be sad and more than disappointed in me but Azaan is right, they need to know if anything bad would happen to me and Zianna because of her.

"Come and let's meet our parents as they have been waiting for you for the past thirty minutes," he says getting up from where he was sitting and gesturing me to follow him.

As soon as we walked into the living room where our parents were waiting for us. I felt nervous and a little bit afraid of what the outcome would be when I explained to them everything that happened during my university days.

"Asalam Aleikum..."

 "Waleikum Salaam. Are you okay, Azhar?" Mamma asked me as if she knew what was happening to me.

"I want to tell you something about a girl that I met when I was staying law at the university. Her name is Rania Saif," I started explaining to both my parents who were listening to every word I said.

Alhamdulilah, I have parents who listen to me and my siblings before they give their advice and teach us that what we did was either right or wrong.

I explained to them the same way I did to Azaan in my room a while ago.

"And now she is back trying to cause problems with my life and at work. She has even started calling the office phone and also sending me threatening messages on my phone about hurting the people close to me. I even asked Uncle Khalid to ban her from entering the office building," I finished explaining to my parents who said nothing. "I am sorry if you are disappointed with me for keeping this from you. I did it because I was ashamed of everything that happened to me," I added looking down on my hands.

"Azhar, we are not disappointed with you. We are sad that you didnt come to us when she started everything. All our children are our life, and your father and I always wanted you to always come to us whenever you three have problems..."

"Your mother is right Azhar. And don't worry about her. I will take care of everything and make sure that she wont bother you or anyone at the office. Don't worry about it. Why didn't you tell you before?" my father asks.

"I was afraid that you and Mamma would be disappointed in me. In the decision I made to ignore her for the time I was at university until she found out where I worked. I am sorry, Mamma, Dad for everything that I have done."

"We don't and will never blame you for anything. Everything that you experienced is something you needed to Azhar. That's a lesson about trusting people and becoming friends with them without getting to know them first," Mamma says with a smile.

Alhamdulilah, for everything and for having parents who understand you.

"Now, I want to discuss something else with you, Azhar. Dont you think its time for you to get married?..."

"Mamma, really again? But I am just twenty-three years old and I still need to find someone..."

"I found someone for you and she is perfect for this family. Just say yes. Your father and I will take care of everything else."

I knew that she was talking about Zianna and when Mamma has set her mind on something, there's no way to get her out of it.

I looked at my brother and father for help but all I saw was them trying to hold their laughter. I took Mamma's hand with mine and took a deep breath.

"Mamma, I know that you want the best for me but for now, I can't get married yet and it isn't because I haven't found someone, its because I need to resolve a few things that need my attention. And I promise you that when I am ready to get married, I will directly come to you instead of dad," I said trying to persuade her to stop talking about my marriage.

I hope Mamma accepts what I said to her. I will get married but I need to make sure that she doesn't come in between me and my future wife ever again. As for Zianna, I will need to try and be friends with her brother so that we both can get the help she needs.

"Okay. Fine, Azhar. But remember that we are here for you if you ever want to talk or anything." she said with a smile.

I nodded and smiled back.

And the conversation shifted to my niece and nephew's birthday which was a big deal for my Mamma. Organizing them is what she loves and Dad has always been supportive of her.

In shaa Allah, I will have that too with my future wife.

One question; My rules or My heart?