How many days since I've slept?

5.

That isn't healthy. I really need to sleep to be able to function.

And yet, I cannot.

I've tried. That's about all I can do. Just lie in bed all day, pretending I'm not hiding.

But lies are Deceit's thing. They do not work for me.

I miss the old days. In Thomas's first few videos, I was happy. Now, I just spout facts, trying to be useful, to prove myself.

I can't leave my room anymore. They're out there, the faces, so concerned. When will they learn?

I cannot love them back. Emotions are Patton's thing. I'm just the man behind the facts, behind the mask.

How many days since I have eaten?

3.

That isn't healthy, but I cannot bear to leave my sanctuary.

They wait for me, the faded. I cannot fade yet. I still have a purpose. I must be there for Thomas.

But how can I do that when I cannot leave?

How do I do the one thing I have lived to do when my brain stops me from leaving?

How do I save others, if I cannot save myself?

How can I help them, when I cannot help myself?

So I am stuck here, just another side, stuck in the hell that is... me.