Brianna

The judge looks at David. "Mr. Weston, please call your first witness to the stand. He rises smoothly and walks to the front of the room, looking at me.

"Ms. Kelly, your witness, please."

Toby squeezes my hand in silent encouragement as I rise on shaky legs and take the impossibly long walk to the stand.

They swear me in, before David turns to me.

"Alright, Ms. Kelly," he says, kindness behind the professional tone of his voice. "I know this is gonna be hard for you, but all I ask is that you do your best, okay? I hope it'll be worth it for you."

I nod, swallowing hard. "Okay."

He returns to gesture. "Good. Now can you start off by telling us exactly what happened on August 14 of last year?"

I take a deep, shaky breath. "Um... Lincoln and I had just finished our first day of high school, so we walked back to his house to hangout and kind-of celebrate. I mean, we'd been best friends since elementary school. And..." I feel myself flush, completely ashamed of ever feeling this way for him. "I'd had a crush on him since I was, like, twelve. So, uh, we went to his house, to his room, and started a movie sitting on his bed. We'd been watching movies like that for literally years. And then... he... he asked me out while the previews were showing. And like I said, he was literally the only crush I'd ever really had. So I said yes. And then he asked if he could kiss me. He... he knew that was saving my first kiss for my wedding day..." I glance at Moriah Peters in the audience and feel myself blush a little. "But when I reminded him of it, he said it was old fashioned, and kept asking for it. He said I was thinking too much, and I just needed to let go and feel. He... he was scaring me, so I tried to get off of the bed, but he grabbed me before I could, and then... he was tearing my clothing off of me and... I don't really... remember... Just that he... raped me..."

"It's okay," David replies kindly. "We understand. You're doing great. And then his parents got home, correct?"

I swallow hard, desperately blinking back tears. "Yeah. We... we heard their car in the driveway, and while Lincoln was distracted by that, I ran to the bathroom and locked myself inside. So, he knocked on the door a few minutes later, saying that he was sorry, and he didn't know what had gotten into him. He said... he said we could work it out between us, and asked me not to tell his parents. He left my clothes outside the door. So, once he was gone, I grabbed them and put them back on, and I knew I couldn't keep what had happened a secret, so I went downstairs and told his parents. But then he came down as well, and started asking me why I had lied, and told them... we'd just had sex... everything he just told you. They called my parents, and they all ended up believing him instead of me. My pastor and youth pastor believed me and my dance teachers, but no one else did. Jason called the police, but the investigation didn't go anywhere."

"Once again, you're going great," David encourages me. "And I don't need them to believe you, but do you happen to have the clothes that you say Lincoln tore off of you?" He glances at the plastic bag I'm holding at my side.

I nod, setting it down and drawing out the t-shirt first. At the realization that it's a shirt from Toby's merch shop, I once again feel myself blush a little. David walks over and takes it, holding it up for the jury to see, pointing out the ripped neckline specifically. I hand him the jeans, and he does the same, showing them the way he tore out the button. Finally, I hand him the gold bar Priceless necklace with its broken chain from being yanked off of me.

He actually passes that one around the jury. When they've all seen it, he takes it back and returns my things to me. "Thank you, Brianna. Now, can you tell us what Lincoln's done to you since that say?"

Another deep breath. Oh, Jesus, please help me.

"Um... the next day, at school, he and some other boys... one from youth group, and one just from school, cornered me at lunch and took me outside with them. Lincoln said that he... he could tell I'd walked away hurt, and he had something that would help me cope. So then they had a razor, and they cut my wrist with it and gave it to me."

"Okay," he says, nodding gravely. "Wow. What else?"

"They... they just never left me alone at school, or at youth group when Jason wasn't in the room," I tell him quietly. "My parents posted everything about the entire situation on social media, so they knew everything and they never let it rest."

"On social media, you say?" he asks, though he was obviously leading up to this. "Did they bully you on social media, too? Or just in person?"

"Both."

"So there's any easy way to tell whether or not Lincoln was telling the truth about never bullying you?" he asks.

I nod. "I... I guess so."

He turns to the jury. "If you'll turn your eyes to the screen, I've taken the liberty of pulling up several posts on Brianna's mother's social media pages, where Lincoln, as well as a number of other people, hurl verbal abuse at Brianna."

I look over my shoulder to see him displaying slides of screenshotted conversation where they tagged me and said so many things that I've heard so many times.

When he's gone through all of the slides, the screen flicks off again and he turns back to me. "Now, I know this is another difficult subject for you to talk about, but after Lincoln and his friends cut your wrist and gave you the razor, you did start self-harming. Was it related to him?"

I feel my face burn in shame, but I struggle to keep my eyes up. "Um... yes... I... I started after they did what they did, with the razor they gave me. It just... helped me not feel everything related to being raped, I guess."

"I understand. And, yet again, I'm sorry for bringing up such a personal and painful memory, but did this experience and abuse have anything to do with your first suicide attempt, about a month ago?"

This time, I can't help but stare at the floor. "Um... yes. I... I just... I'd been at youth group, and Jason... had to check my arms... and then he had to tell my mom that I was cutting again, and when she found out, she posted in on social media, and then everyone, including Lincoln just started in again. It just... it felt like I'd lost almost everyone after Lincoln convinced them it was me to, and... what he did... still hurts, like every day, so..." I trail off, shrugging.

David nods slowly. "Alright. And after that attempt, when you returned to school, did the bullying stop?"

"No."

"Did it get worse?"

"Yes."

"Can you explain, please?"

"Well..." I bite my lip, still barely fighting back my tears. "my first day back, Lincoln started acting like I'd actually died, and I was a new student. He basically got the entire school in on it."

"What did they do?"

Keep it together.

"When I walked in, he just started talking to me as a new student and telling me about the old girl who sat where I was... who'd killed herself. He named me... Bloody... because my mom wouldn't let me cover up my arms that day... and he and everyone else just kept talking about how much everyone hated the girl who'd killed herself. The afternoon, after school, they dragged me behind the school and they'd set up a... a memorial service for me... with dried leaves and a cake that looked like it had blood on it... and Lincoln 'spoke', talking about how much he'd always hated me. Then they tried to shove cake in my mouth, and... they just wouldn't stop until Toby... showed up and got me away from them."

"Got it. But they kept bullying you in the same way... with the 'Bloody' thing... from there on out?"

"Yes."

"Okay. And that's when you tried to kill yourself a second time?"

Once again, my eyes are glued to the floor. "Yes."

"And that attempt was because of the pain of being raped and bullied?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Now, that's when this court date was set, but the bullying didn't stop, did it?"

"No."

"What did they do?"

"He dropped the... the Bloody thing, but he was just really mad, and he was yelling at me and threatened me to meet him for lunch. But then Jace showed up and started hanging out with me to try to protect me."

"But did that work?"

"Not really."

"What happened?"

"The first day that Jace was around, Lincoln called my parents and offered to walk me home every day so that they didn't have to pick me up, and they said yes."

"Did they ask you?"

"No."

"Because I'm assuming that you never would have said yes."

"That's right."

"Did he walk you home that day?"

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"When we were passing a park that we... we used to hang out in together, he said we should stop, for old time's sake. I asked him to just take me home, but he ignored me. And then... he started forcing me to kiss him. I... kicked him in the shins, but he caught me before I could run, so I screamed. He said that if I didn't shut up, we'd.... take it to the... bedroom again."

"But then... Caleb, who's a police officer, was on duty around there, and he had heard me scream and showed up and stopped Lincoln from doing anything else."

"Alright. Now, did Lincoln continue to bully you after that happened?"

"No. His friends did, but he didn't."

"And you attempted suicide again on Friday, after his friends attacked Jace and started kissing you, correct?"

"Yes."

"It was very sudden. What were you feeling?"

"I... I just... life still hurt, just like it has ever since he... he raped me, and it felt like it was never gonna end... any of it, and it just seems like the people I love... like Jace... keep suffering because of me."

David nods slowly, considering me for a long moment. "I'm very sorry that you've had to go through all of that, Brianna. You've done an amazing job and been unbelievably strong this morning. He turns the judge. "No further questions, your honor."

The judge nods as David takes a seat. "Mr. Sadduck, your cross-examination, please."

I don't get off easy like Lincoln did, and fear twists at my stomach as Sadduck rises and approaches my stand. "Alright, Brianna," he says, "First off, your lawyer used those social media posts as evidence that Lincoln bullied you. But I took a look at the same posts and several more, and I noticed that a good number of people, many from your church, many related to you, were saying the exact same thing as Lincoln was. Do you confirm this?"

"Yes..." I reply uncertainly. "But Lincoln just told us that he didn't bully me at all."

"True, but if everyone was doing it, it's very possible he was just going with the crowd, and didn't think of it as active bullying."

I don't answer.

"Now, you say that you started cutting because of how being raped made you feel. But you grew up in a very religious home, right?"

"Yes..."

"So it would have been fully possible for you to have developed your cutting habit based on shame for doing the forbidden and having sex outside of marriage?"

I hesitate. "Well... I guess it could have been possible, but... that's not why I started."

"But tell me," he continues, "are you ashamed of what happened that day?"

Under his accusing eyes, it takes everything I didn't know I had in me not to cry. "Yes." The word comes out a whisper.

His eyebrows knit together in mocking confusion. "Now, if you had nothing to do with what happened, and the blame is all on Lincoln, why do you feel that way?"

I don't know what to say, so I don't answer.

"You have to answer the question, Brianna," he tells me, his tone mocking me.

I desperately blink back that stubborn need to cry.

"Because... because I just... feel so dirty. And because I hate the way I've reacted to it. I hate that I cut, and I hate that I tried to kill myself three times, and I just... Lincoln just showed me how worthless I really am, that's all."

I can feel the sadness in so many gazes in the audience without seeing them, especially from Joel and Luke, but what else could I say? I swore to tell the truth, and that is the truth.